Regaining CLARITY!

'I cant believe I actually did that!'

I thought whilst descending the steps. That was very embarrassing and the highest level of pathetic I've ever seen even more so than at that time with Akari.

Just what came over me?

For a moment I just did that without realizing what I did.

At first, I intended to just go through with it and get turned down usually like I always as I could no longer control my emotions.

But when I realized how cocky she was towards me with a staggering difference with the Ichinose I had in my fantasies, I just couldn't help but snap!

I mean I'm the only one who can probably understand what I went through.

Maybe if she did the same way Sayumi did by being humble I would have taken a different approach.

But without even a shred of mercy, she started treading on my emotions with so much negativity that I could not just stop myself.

That girl?

I don't know why but maybe I just wanted her to know what I truly felt about her.

They say that you should never play with someone else's emotions especially when they are unstable and I guess that's true.

I wanted her to know!

She at least had to know how much burden I was carrying in my heart before deciding to act the way she did and rant off.

But if I think about it on her end, I guess she was bound to act like that when being confessed to by a defamed pervert so its not completely her fault.

Sigh.

Nothing ever goes as planned in the accursed world of a background character!

Wait, I can make jokes again?!

Well, it's too bad that I've been rejected for the third time, even if I was expecting it.

I can't believe my count is already at three whilst still in junior high.

How intense!

I know what I did was surely dumb but if I dragged it any longer, I was going to suffer from some severe mental brain damage.

What about high school?

I wonder why I have no luck with women at all.

But it's all good now, as I've realized that I'm calming down from that state of madness.

'I wonder how much more she's come to hate me now?'

She has to hate me so much that she doesn't want to see my face anymore.

And that's exactly what I will do.

That doesn't matter anymore.

I'll probably never bother her ever again.

That's probably best for both her and my health.

For some reason, it feels oddly refreshing to just release everything out you know.

I feel like I've been reborn.

And I can tell my thoughts have also calmed down since for the first time in about forever I'm starting to think about something else.

Yay!

Too bad she had to listen to all that. For a moment I was 100% sure she thought I was gonna sexually assault her.

Look, I might be pathetic but at least its better than being an asshole right?

I know that's not a good way to defend myself but at least I still have my pride as a human.

I can't even begin to imagine the look of disgust written all over her face right now!

Serves me right.

And who cares!

If this goes viral then let it be.

I won't be bothered by such things again.

Since school was already over, I decided to head straight back home. It would be weird if we accidentally collided right now.

I'm still recovering.

Today I am going to make sure to have a feast!

Was nature always this beautiful?

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Its Sakurai Takemoto here, the most pathetic guy you can find in the whole universe. Even my best friends have actually exceptional quirks of their own.

I don't have to mention again that Senki is one of the top class geniuses although he might not have the best grades in school.

Mitsuki is an ace rugby player although since he's so young, he has earned his way to the nationals.

And Sakurai is a self-proclaimed genius who bones for his female homeroom teacher the whole period.

I didn't realize I was that awesome. Someone could have told me about it sooner nor later at least.

Not like I would have listened to them anyway.

Now that I'm assimilating my thoughts, how did I even manage to do all that?

I may have emophilia but that isn't enough of a reason to hate myself for who I am.

In fact, what I hate about myself is my inability to change that.

If a very pretty girl is too friendly with me, my emotions can't help but be triggered.

I can't help but get the wrong signs.

I don't know what dumb mechanism that is which lives rent free in my body.

But that's enough of that.

I have had enough of that!

If it is going to live in me and I'll make it pay double its rent.

I can't allow it to keep controlling me forever.

Maybe Senki was right.

No!

He was right. I went ahead of myself and did something stupid again.

But its not like I had a choice anyway. It just had to be done.

Even if it was stupid.

It was either I go mad, or lose a love interest.

Any sane person would have done what I did.

Which is why I want to ask myself.

Can a background character like me really be of that much worth?