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Can't i have a System?

Welcome, dear reader, to the exciting world of Isekai, where average people are transported to alternate dimensions filled with magic, adventure, and sometimes even overpowered, handsome, charming characters with elaborate systems to help them navigate their new lives. But alas, we must introduce John, a rather unremarkable individual who has been reborn into this fantastical realm and given the opportunity to be a hero with the help of our newest system! But wait! It seems there has been a terrible mistake. Someone has just informed us that there has been an error and John, unfortunately, does not have a System after all. Oh dear, how embarrassing. We apologize profusely to John and offer our sincerest condolences for this terrible oversight. But well John you still have… I mean you are still good at…Ummm you are good at PC Gaming right, that is something right? Huh? Medieval fantasy world, no electricity? Anyways fear not, dear John! You may not have any special powers or skills, but you do have one thing going for you:.... *Hust* So go forth, brave John, and make your mark on this fantastical realm. And who knows, maybe one day you'll even find a way to acquire a System of your own. Until then, good luck and godspeed! Or, you know, just try not to get killed. That would be a bummer.

OngoingWay · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
7 Chs

Exorcism

Helena and Marcus approached the priest with John in tow, their faces etched with worry and fear.

"Father, we beg of you, please help our son," Helena said, her voice shaking with emotion. "He has been possessed by a demon and we fear for his soul."

The priest, a tall and imposing figure with a long white beard, looked down at John with a grave expression.

"Yes, yes, I can help your son," the priest said, his voice oily and insincere. "But you must understand, exorcisms are not cheap. It will take a great deal of gold and offerings to rid your son of this demon."

Helena and Marcus looked at each other, their fears and concerns warring with their desperation to save their son. "We will do whatever it takes, Father," Marcus said, pulling out a heavy pouch of gold coins and handing it to the priest.

The priest grinned, his eyes glinting as he counted the coins. "

Very well, then. Let us begin the exorcism immediately."

He turned to John and began to inspect him, poking and prodding him in various places. "Ah, yes, I can see the demon's presence within you, my son," the priest said, his voice filled with fake concern. "I have performed a thorough spiritual examination on your son, and I am sorry to say that he is indeed possessed by a demon. The demon has taken over his body and will be using it to spread evil and chaos." the priest exclaimed, trying to look even more concerned as he saw that his lie worked on John's concerned parents. "It is a particularly stubborn and malevolent creature, I must say. But fear not, for I have the power to banish it back to the depths of hell from whence it came. But be warned, it will not be easy. The demon that possesses your son is a powerful one, and it will not go down without a fight."

John watched the exchange with growing unease, his young mind already seeing through the priest's lies. He knew that the man was only interested in the gold and didn't care about him at all. But he was helpless to do anything, forced to endure the exorcism as the priest began to recite the ancient prayers and incantations.

The priest was calling upon the goddess of the moon, Selene, to aid him in his task. In this world, the worship of Selene is a revered and ancient religion, with its followers believing in the cleansing and purifying power of the moon's light. The priests of Selene are known for their ability to commune with the goddess and channel her power, and they are infamous for their strict adherence to the goddess's teachings.

As the priest continued to recite the prayers and incantations, John writhed and thrashed, his small body contorting in impossible ways as he felt unimaginable pain running through his body.

John was cursing and yelling at the top of his lungs. "What the actual fck is going on here?!" he screamed, his voice squeaky and high-pitched. "I swear to god, if you don't stop this bullsht, I'm going to unleash the true power of a possessed baby and make you all regret it!"

From the perspective of Helena and Marcus, John's babbling sounded like gibberish. They looked on in fear as the priest continued the exorcism undeterred by the baby's outburst, unsure of what was happening to their son.

"Son of a b*tch, I can't believe this is happening!" John cursed, his face turning red with frustration. "I mean, I was just playing with my boring wood toys and then all of a sudden, boom, exorcism! What the hell, man?!"

As the priest finished the exorcism, John grinned wickedly, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "I may have lost the battle," he thought to himself, "but I'll definitely win the war."

With a sly smile, John began to let loose, unleashing a torrent of urine and feces onto the altar where the exorcism had been performed. The priest and Helena and Marcus looked on in horror as their once-pristine altar was ruined by the possessed baby's revenge.

"Ha ha!" John cackled, his baby gibberish echoing throughout the church. "Take that, you old geezer! Nobody messes with me and gets away with it!"

John continued to wreak havoc, moving himself so his bodily fluids smeared even more on the altar causing chaos in the once-peaceful church.

"Someone get this demon out of here!" the priest yelled, his face turning red with anger and embarrassment.

But it was too late. The damage had been done, and John had successfully gotten his revenge. As he was carried away, he couldn't help but let out one last triumphant laugh. "Suck on that, priest-man! You mess with the baby, you get the poop!"

Helena and Marcus embarrassed but relieved, hurried to leave the church carrying their stinking son with them.

The priest stood at the altar, fuming with anger as he watched John and his parents disappear through the door, leaving a trail of feces behind them. He slammed his fist on the altar, sending a loud echoing noise throughout the empty church.

"God damn it!" the priest cursed, his face contorted with anger and disgust. "What the hell was that all about? Who the hell does he think they are, coming into my church and defiling it like that?"

He turned to his two servants, who stood cowering in fear at the sight of their angry master. "You two!" he yelled, pointing his finger at them. "Clean this mess up right now! And be quick about it, before anyone else sees it and we have to explain what happened here!"

The servants scrambled to obey, grabbing mops and buckets and rushing to start cleaning up the mess. The smell of the feces was overpowering, making the priest wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"Ugh, it smells like a sewer in here," he muttered, fanning his face with his hand. "Hurry up and get rid of that stench, before I throw up all over the place."

The servants worked frantically, trying their best to remove the evidence of John's exorcism gone wrong. The priest paced back and forth, muttering curses under his breath and shooting dirty looks at the servants as they worked.

"This is unacceptable," he growled, his voice low and menacing. "I will not tolerate this kind of disrespect in my church."

With a final disgusted look at the now-clean altar, the priest stormed out of the church, leaving his servants to finish their work and ponder their own fate at the hands of their angry master.

John being carried by his mother, was feeling frustrated and annoyed. His parents on their way home chatting with each other and being relieved that the exorcism was over, completely unaware of John's inner turmoil.

Just a few minutes earlier, John had undergone a failed exorcism. Despite being a grown man with a fully-formed adult mind, he had been reborn into the body of a baby. And now, he was stuck in this tiny, helpless form, forced to rely on his parents for everything.

As they walked home from the church, John couldn't help but grumble to himself. "This is ridiculous," he thought. "I shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm an adult, dammit! I shouldn't have to be treated like this."

But then, John remembered something. He had been reborn for a reason. He had been given this second chance at life for a reason. If he wanted to avoid another event like that, he was going to have to learn to behave like a baby again.

So, with a sigh, John resigned himself to his new role. He would have to be patient and wait for his body to grow and mature once again. In the meantime, he would try his best to act like a proper baby, even if it meant relying on his parents for everything.

As they continued their walk home, John couldn't help but feel a twinge of amusement at the absurdity of the situation. Here he was, a grown man trapped in a baby's body, being carried around by his clueless parents. It was a funny and frustrating situation, to say the least.

But despite the challenges, John was determined to make the most of this second chance at life. He was determined to learn and grow in this new world, and to do whatever it took to avoid another exorcism. And even if it meant acting like a baby again, he was determined to make the most of it.

As they returned home, John's parents carefully cleaned him up after his failed exorcism. They gently wiped his face and hands with a warm, damp cloth, and then changed his soiled diaper.

Once he was clean and fresh, they carried him upstairs to his nursery and tucked him into his crib. John's mother sang him a soft lullaby, and his father whispered soothing words of comfort in his ear.

As John drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but feel grateful for his loving parents. Despite the challenges and difficulties of the day, they had been there for him, providing him with the care and support he needed.

And as he drifted off into a peaceful slumber, John felt a sense of hope and optimism. He may be a grown man trapped in a baby's body, but he was determined to make the most of this second chance at life.