The McPuffin Part 13

The McPuffin Part 13

\____-o(X)o-_____/​

"So you haven't met him yet?"

"No, but his dad is actually really nice and very smart."

"While I agree that getting you married into the family is an intelligent plan, it's not something we really want to happen." I paused before clarifying, "Unless his son is actually really cool and you really do like him, in which case it's fine. I'm mostly against forcing you into it with someone you haven't even met."

Ami, Makoto and I were walking up stairs on the pathway through the forest. My hands were in my pockets and I wore my usual rough t-shirt, shorts, and sandals. Makoto was on my left, in a cotton t-shirt and denim overalls with some boots, her hair up in its usual ponytail and her rose earrings glinting in the dappled sunlight as she kept her arms loosely crossed over her chest. Ami was on my right, her hands clasped behind her back and her arms straight as her sundress swished with every step, much daintier shoes on her feet than either Makoto or I.

"You'd really be okay with it if he was nice…?" Makoto looked at me funny as she climbed with me up the steps.

"I'd be fine with it if she liked him." I countered, pointing at Makoto for emphasis, "But she hasn't even met him, and I think that making a decision like this at our age is silly. This is a decision that spans your entire life, and without a spanning political reason for it the potential consequences heavily outweigh the potential rewards, especially for the person bearing the risk, which is Ami here."

While Ami nodded, Makoto looked at me funny, squinting one eye as the other eyebrow went up, "A little less geek-speak Jake?"

I blinked a few times before letting out a little embarrassed noise, "Ahhh…" I scratched the back of my head as I thought over a way to simplify that, "Marriage is a big, important, permanent decision, and we're too young to make it reasonably. But Ami's mother shouldn't get to make that choice for her, since if the guy sucks it's Ami that has to live with him while Ami's mother is the one that gets all the benefits."

"Oh," my fellow brunnete said, before nodding in agreement, "Okay."

We continued on up the stairs together in relative silence, nothing more than birdsong and the sounds of cicadas to accompany us for a ways before I asked Makoto, "How much further is it?"

"What," she grinned teasingly, "Getting tired already?"

I snorted, dramatically pressing the back of my hand against my forehead, "Oh woe is me, my one nemesis! However shall this poor soul survive its one true weakness-! Stairs!" Ami giggled beside me even as Makoto rolled her eyes with a smile of her own. Mission accomplished, I let my hand drop and returned to my normal small smile, "But seriously, this is a lot of stairs, do you make this walk every day?"

Honestly, I was pretty impressed that Ami was keeping up with Makoto and me. Makoto was big for a ten year old and quite the tomboy, and I had absolutely absurd physicality for an eight year old runt, but Ami? Ami was a nerd. And this is from someone who was proud to call himself that. Ami was a super-nerd, but despite climbing the path up the mountain to the temple that'd taken Makoto in for the past two miles and our resident supergenius was only a bit winded.

"Yeah," the tall girl shrugged, "It's not all that bad really."

For a moment, I was struck by how little that really struck me. The path alternated between stairs and dirt that probably should have been stairs. It never really leveled out. We'd been going for over two miles and there was some more flat area between the base of the mountain and the town. This was kind of ridiculous. And Makoto did it almost every day to meet up with Ami, occasionally a couple times as they went back and forth between the library and Makoto's new place. That was a little absurd.

"Do you like it there?" I asked, looking up the pathway through the trees… I think I could see the walls of the temple now…

"It's not bad, I think I like it better than Ami's place," Makoto mused, tapping a finger against her bicep as she kept her arms crossed across her chest, her head tilting up to look up at the dappled sunlight coming through the treetops. "I miss being able to just talk with Ami any time I want, but it's nice to have a room for myself again… and Ami's mom could be a pain sometimes, but she's a better cook than the priests."

"I could teach you how to cook," I offered. I wasn't exactly talented, but I had the advantage of enjoying it and having learned a good bit of cooking in my past life as well as from my momma in this life, "My momma's the ship cook and I'm pretty good at it myself."

Makoto perked up at that and I could practically see the sparkles in her eyes and the shojou background of bubbles and roses as she asked, "You could? That'd be great!" Her beaming and eager expression cracked though before she pouted and looked away, "Though we'll have to watch out for the jerk."

I raised my eyebrow, waiting for an elaboration that didn't come. So I turned to Ami on the other side of me with the same expression, "Eh?"

"The granddaughter of the head priest at the temple," Ami said with a small, amused smile, "Makoto doesn't like her."

The brown-haired girl huffed and I turned to find her looking away, arms crossed even tighter across her T-shirt and overalls, "She's stuck up!"

I looked back at Ami with a raised eyebrow and a small, amused smile, and the blue haired girl shook her head, "She's a little aloof and distant, not really that bad."

"You don't have to live with her." Makoto pointed out with a grumble before pointing a finger at Ami, her arm invading my space to do so, "And she's mean to you! It bothers me!"

"Rei just expects me to be better," Ami said a bit sheepishly, "And she's not really that bad about it."

Makoto snorted, "Not being bad compared to your mom isn't saying much."

Ami just sighed, shaking her head, not wanting to get into that one again.

"We are going to have to avoid her though," the tall girl grumbled, "She doesn't really like boys."

"Eh, it shouldn't be a problem? It's not like I'm going to put a frog into her hair or something."

While Ami giggled, Makoto's face scrunched up, "Ew."

I grinned just a bit at that, this was a bit weird, but I was determined not to be surprised by any further curveballs this island threw me. So long as there wasn't a fucking Queen Berryl I'd be happy.

… and so long as I'm not getting roped into the positions of either Sailor Moon or Tuxedo Mask, because fuck all of that.

I mean, I look retarded in a tophat.

---​

*WhumpaWhumpaWhumpaWhumpa*

"That's how you knead the dough…?"

"It's how I do it." I said with a small smile before chopping at the dough with one hand and sweeping it over with the other, folding in a quick motion, "The point is to ensure that the dough is thoroughly mixed and to activate the flour and yeast."

Beside me, Makoto mimicked the motions with significantly less flair and far more dainty motions with her own mass of dough. Ami sat at the table in the moderately sized kitchen of this building of the temple compound as I walked Makoto through the steps of making spaghetti. "Now, don't forget to we add some more flour on it to ensure that it doesn't stick to the board."

"What are you doing?"

"Mm?" I looked over my shoulder to find a slender girl with long black hair, somewhere between Ami and Makoto in height with absolutely striking purple eyes, she had a look somewhere between blank and confused on her face and was in a classic miko's outfit. I smiled a bit and turned back to the dough, "Making noodles."

Her lips pressed together the slightest bit, "… why?"

I could see Makoto bristle out of the corner of my eye, but I countered, "Why not?"

That seemed to throw the young girl off her game, though I wasn't sure if it was the question itself or my cheery attitude. And without a response she simply turned, her head tilting up as she let out a little, "Hmph."

As she walked out of the kitchen of the temple I called out, "Be sure to swing by to try it when we're done!" That made her pause at the doorway as I continued, "We need someone who's unafraid to give criticism to improve."

I turned back to the dough as I began to roll it out into a cylinder, jerking my head at Makoto to indicate that she do it as well. The taller girl's mouth worked quietly for a moment before she frowned in thought before doing it as well. After the long moment of silence, the girl I could only assume was Rei asked calmly, "When will it be done?"

"Mm…" I hummed thoughtfully, thinking, taking into account that I'd be teaching Makoto some things as we went along… spaghetti for the win~ "Probably an hour, give or take a handful of minutes."

With a sound that was too refined to be called a grunt but too short to be called a hum, Rei walked out of the room quietly with measured steps. And I smiled.

As the footsteps faded down the hallway, Makoto glanced at me, "The crap was that Jacob?"

"… playing nice?" I couldn't help the shit-eating grin on my face.

"Tch, she'll just say it's bad."

"If she says anything unreasonable, I'll call her out on it." I said honestly, "But it's always good to have a good critic. When you start to get really good at something, someone who's willing and able to give an honest criticism is a godsend, because it gives you a chance to improve."

My friend harrumphed at that, looking back to the dough in front of her, "Not like she'll actually show up."

"She asked when it'll be done, she'll probably be here a little after that so she's not waiting around." And probably to make it look like her idea. Heh. But I doubted Makoto wanted to hear that, that and I wanted to believe the best of her.

"Pfft, right."

I gently elbowed my friend in the side, "Give her a chance. How'd you feel if some stranger suddenly moved into your house?"

Makoto pouted as she mimicked my motions with the dough, "I wouldn't act like that though."

"No, but you're you, and she's not you."

The taller girl stuck her tongue out at me and with all the elegance and refinement innate to me, I blew a raspberry right back. Ami giggling at the table.

---​

My grin at Makoto said it all. And her pout was equally eloquent.

'Neener neenr neener~ I~ was~ riiiiigggghhhhht~'

'Oh screw you!'

Makoto huffed and my shit-eating grin widened as we stood behind Rei, the young girl demurely tasting the spaghetti that we'd made. Daintily tapping at her mouth with her napkin, not that she needed to, she'd quite skillfully avoided getting any of the meat sauce on herself at all, Rei finally said, "It is bitter."

The tall girl beside me bristled once more and I just smiled, "It's supposed to be. This is the authentic form of the dish, or the classical style. Makoto actually did it very well. I personally prefer to add some sugar to the sauce for exactly that reason though."

"Makoto made this?" Rei asked, and I wasn't sure if that was surprise or curiosity… she was hard to read, she was rather stoic.

"Yeah! I did." Said burgeoning chef said, the 'You got a problem with it?' going unsaid, but not unheard.

There wasn't a reply from the black haired girl immediately, instead she folded up her napkin properly and set her silverware on the plate before saying, "Acceptable."

'Okay, I know I just saw a smile.'

Beside me, Makoto gaped, her mouth working silently for a moment before she shouted, "Acceptable?!"

"Yes." Rei said, standing from the table, "Acceptable. Be sure to add sugar next time."

"Why you–!" But before my bigger friend could get into a brawl, I grabbed her arm, "What?!"

"Makoto," I couldn't help but grin, "That means that she liked everything else about it." My fellow brunette looked at me in confusion even as Rei turned to look at me with a blank face. So I elaborated, "She didn't criticize anything else, that means there wasn't anything else to criticize." I grinned at the black haired girl, "And I'm betting that she actually rather liked it."

Makoto's green eyes snapped to the other girl who was giving a small but very noticeable pout, as if I'd ruined the joke.

Knowing someone's demeanor beforehand made interpreting stuff like this much, much easier.

"Didn't you?" I pressed, my grin widening.

She gave a little huff, turning away, "You are a good teacher."

"Nah." Mind you, I really thought that was true, but that's not what we were talking about. I reached up to ruffle my significantly taller friend's hair, which was difficult both because she was a lot taller than me and because she had her long wavy brown hair up in a ponytail, "She's just a good learner."

And she had been, while I'm not sure I'd say she was talented, she was definitely determined to learn.

So she shoved me, snorting, "I'm older than you!"

"Yes~!" I agreed before slapping a hand to my chest dramatically and grinning, "But I'm your cooking sempai! And I am entitled to being proud of my cute little student Rosebu– ACK!"

My much larger friend had promptly put me into a headlock, giving me a noogy, half laughing out, "You brat!"

I made dramatic noises as I squirmed. I probably could have gotten out of this, but that wouldn't have been as fun, and I could hear Ami giggling just outside of my vision, but I could see a small smile on Rei's face, the stoic girl not having left yet.

Now, I was no Luffy, Naruto, or Usagi, but I liked to think I did a good thing here. Especially given my inability to help with Ami's potential betrothal…

-oOo-​

Makena ran at a relaxed lope, parting the tall grass of the savannah as she ran, following Jaime's trail, and here I was just hugging her back like a monkey.

Really shouldn't have left that saddle… but I didn't really know how to put it on in the first place… I mean, I probably could've figured it out, but that would've taken a while, which given the risk Jaime was at, wasn't something I'd have wanted to do anyways.

… still should've gotten a saddle though, because while Makena was fuzzy and otherwise comfy, she was warm as hell in an already hot place. And I was only able to stay on her back by wrapping my arms and legs around her torso. I don't think I'd have minded so much if I could actually look around on my own and she didn't smell like wet dog.

There was a laugh from Makena as she trotted to a stop, and I finally raised my head and… that is a big lion…

… huh, so that's a bone lion…

There was some… words…? I think it was Spanish…? It was slurred as all hell. I turned to look at– "Fucking hell Jaime?!"

Nearly throwing myself off of the hyena, I rushed over towards the man, who blinked blearily at me as he bled out onto the ground!

There were three massive but thankfully mostly shallow cuts on his torso, his left shoulder looking like fucking road rash central. His rapier was raised and I slowed slightly in my rush over to him, the man stumbling in place, "Jaime! Fucking hell, it's me! I just want to get you fixed up!"

The Mexican-esque man stumbled in place, rapier still trained on me as he blinked unfocused eyes, saying something else in spanish that was too slurred for me to understand. Damnit, his turtleneck was basically destroyed, and his front was soaked in blood.

"Buddy, you've got to use your words," his eyes were unfocused and bleary. He didn't recognize me? Damnit, I could turn to metal to walk right through his attacks but I'd really rather him not fighting me while he's like this! "I can't understand you."

"Wha-… wha'shr you doin' here…? Though' I lef' you doin' y'er thing…"

"I'm here to help you out, heard you were after something scary… came to help…" I slowly approached him, hands up placatingly, "Come on big guy…"

"Tú… tú…" he stumbled some, the tip of his rapier slowly drifting down.

I could smell the alcohol on his breath, making me blink a few times before I glanced over at the huge predator that was lying very, very still. I couldn't sense anything from the bone lion, so it was certainly dead. And it would have stood… fuck, forty, maybe fifty feet tall at the shoulder, covered in hard bone plating and bone quills… shit, this lion was nearly the size of the Cake honestly… And that should have been out of Jaime's weight class… I knew that, I knew how tough animals tended to be in the Grand Line and how tough he was since I'd been training him… "Do… you get stronger the more you drink…?"

His eyes narrowed for a moment before he growled and the tip of his rapier snapped up to threateningly waver within a few inches of my nose, "Did… did you jush call mí madre a fink?!"

A blink as I tried to assess how best to do this, "… nnnnooooo. No I didn't."

"Oh…" back down the blade went, "M'kay…"

"Jaime…?"

"Yeah…?"

"How about you take a nap? I'll take it from here."

"M'kay… sounds good… nap… a nap…" he stumbled a bit before pitching forward and I surged forward myself to catch him before easing him towards the ground, the taller man already snoring.

"Fucking hell…"

---​

Patting the side of the mount as I walked beside her, I said, "Thanks Makena, your walk is a lot smoother than mine."

"Hya hya hya…" the large hyena gave a little bob of her head, walking along with the snoring Jaime on her back. I'd used all of the bandages I kept in my utility belt as well as my scarf to compress the wounds on Jaime's chest, and his own shirt torn up to be used on his shoulder. I'd done what little stitching I could with the materials I had on hand, but I needed to boil water, get some alcohol, or otherwise sterilize the wounds.

I needed to get him to the village long enough to get him stabilized and then to the Cake so that Akira could work on him. I could only do first aid, not treat the absurdity that Jaime had gotten himself into.

The village came into view slowly, normally hidden by the tall grass and the unusual curvature atop the plateau, a sigh of relief escaping me. Even if they weren't going to be helpful on their own, which I doubted, I could and would force the issue if I had to in order to get medical supplies.

Within minutes, the three of us were approached by a patrol of long necked warriors on their mounts, a brief look of sympathy crossing the face of the lead warrior as she glanced over Jaime's prone form as they came within comfortable speaking distance, "I am sorry."

"He's alive. But he's in need of medical attention."

"Of course, he is lucky to be alive, Snugglewumps is more than almost any man or woman is able to handle."

"Actually, he took him out, just was injured in doing so," I lifted the sign I'd appropriated from the massive lion, "Though… Snugglewuss? Not Snugglewumps? Or do you guys use different–?"

*Thump-!*

I blinked a few times, staring back at the squad as the leader flailed and fell off of her mount in surprise, her warriors gaping at me, a few of the hyenas falling down and covering their heads with their paws. I glanced back and forth a few times before raising my eyebrows, "… what?"

"Snugglewuss?!" One of the warrior women squeaked before her head craned back to peek out from behind her own shoulder.

"That- is that really his sign?!" the leader asked, struggling to sit up.

"YYyyyyeeeessss…?" I said, holding it up, "It was the one on the lion that Jaime killed…?"

The warriors all stared at the comparatively little sign, "… he killed Snugglewuss…"

"… is that bad…?" I asked cautiously.

"Bad?! He's a hero! Dayo! Get back to the village and get them ready! We have an injured to take care of!"

"R-Right!"

"Come! Quick!"

I shared a glance with Makena, who just did this half-shrug, which I returned before we started walking again. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

---​

"So, wait, the 'King of the Savannah' is Snugglewumps, who's a pretty big bone lion at about forty feet tall, but the nastiest one is Snugglewuss who stood at nearly fifty…?"

As the tribe's shaman slowly applied a poultice to the still snoring Jaime's wounds, Malaika and I sat on the floor

"Yes, Snugglewuws is… was…" Malaika paused before correcting herself, "An old bone lion, the oldest we knew of, and the mightiest. He'd hounded my grandmother, and it was her sacrifice that got the sign around his neck… he left our village proper alone out of respect of the deed, which is why we are the only tribe on this plateau." Malaika trailed off, staring at the prone form of Jaime, "… but he would pick off any groups he'd encountered away from the village…"

"And now he's dead," I said, somewhat amused.

Enitan and Katlego were off somewhere doing the Tsundere routine, and a number of the long-necked women had swung by the hut to just sorta stare at Jaime for a bit. Malaika had sent out a good sized group to go break down the big Snugglewuss's body for all of the bone and meat and such.

Malaika looked over at me, "He truly killed him?"

I gave her a bit of a look at that, understanding the real question, "Yes, he did. I was actually a bit surprised when I found it, because I didn't think he was that strong."

She shook her head in near disbelief, turning back to Jaime as the shamaness worked over him.

Silence reigned over the hut for several minutes after that. I would've been more comfortable with Akira treating Jaime, but until I was sure he was stabilized, this would have to do. I was sure his organs hadn't been cut all to pieces, but he'd have trouble moving, but I didn't know all of the bits and pieces involved in the absurdity of One Piece healing… kinda wish Ami was here.

… no, wait, really wish Ami was here. She could fix Jaime up no problem and we could've gotten back to Gin Mirieniu on our own with no more of this… I… did I…

"What crew are you from?"

I blinked, my thoughts interrupted, looking at the middle aged woman, "… the Bonney Pirates."

"The Fisi tribe is indebted to your crew… you are welcome here whenever you so desire."

"… thank you."

---​

"Nng… wha…?"

"Welcome back to the land of the waking, sleepy-head," I said, looking up from my notebook at Jaime as he lay on the pallet beside me, the taller man slowly stirring.

"Jacob…?" he blinked a few times, looking up at me blearily.

"Eyup," I closed the book in my lap as I sat cross legged on the dirt floor, "How you holdin up?"

"I…" wincing slightly, he pushed himself up and I reached out to steady him as he clutched at his chest, "… ugh, how long was I out?"

I held out his cowboy hat towards him, allowing him to take it, "A long time."

His eyebrows shot up, "Really?!"

I couldn't help but grin, "Nah, just messing with you, it wasn't a long time unless you consider a day a long time."

"Punta!" Jaime said with a smile, swatting me with his hat and making me laugh.

"Tcheheheh, you were just out for a day, it's just before afternoon the day after you headed out."

Jaime shook his head a bit slowly, an exasperated smile on his face as he sighed, "I need a drink."

A small smile crossed my face and I turned towards the entrance to the hut, "Hey! Could you get him a drink?"

Confused, Jaime leaned to look around me at the entrance and found that the doorway was nearly filled with the faces of the ladies. With their foot long necks it was a lot easier to crowd in and basically fill the doorway up. The warrior that'd been in here had heard Jaime waking up and gone to get the rest.

"Right!"

"I've got it!"

"No! Me!"

The ladies scattered, nearly stumbling over each other to go get a drink for him, and I turned to grin at Jaime, "You've got a fan-club."

"… tú es serio…?"

"Mhm. You killed the wrong bone lion." He groaned, facepalming and I grinned, "You stepped it up a notch. You went above and beyond. You're kind of a local hero now."

Jaime paused before looking back up, blinking in confusion, "… wait, what?"

"Basically, they asked you to kill the lion's Vice Admiral and you went straight for the Admiral."

"… oh." He frowned in thought, shifting slightly to get more comfortable "But... he had a sign…?"

"Snugglewuss, not the Snugglewumps you were supposed to go for."

"… I did wonder about that."

"No! I'm going to bring it!"

"No! Me!"

"I got it first!"

"Eeek! That's my top!"

"Ahahahaha! Mine!"

"Tcheheheh," I chuckled even as Jaime blushed just a bit, a small smile appearing on his own face, "We're going to be leaving once you're up to being moved. I was able to get the info from Katlego, and we need to get it back to the Cake for you to be treated properly."

Jaime nodded, "How long until I'm good to be moved?"

"That's up to you, though it's not likely to be long. It might be longer for you to be combat ready, but not very long for you to be able to move."

"Hah!"

"Eeek! Give me back my bikini!"

"No! I'll be the one to bring it!"

The Mexican-esque man's mustache straightened out as his face flushed just a bit more, "Ah… I might not be up for a few days."

I smiled warmly and stood, turning towards the entrance of the hut, "I get it. Just don't take too long."

---​

"Shiver my timbers, shiver my soul… yooo hooo eee ooohhh…" I sung badly beneath my breath as I sat side saddle on the back of the giraffe as it ate from the tree. The tall animal had been pretty uncomfortable when I'd first come over, but it'd gotten used to me being nearby when I hadn't done anything other than poke it a few times. I was now recording my notes as I sat on its butt.

The savannah was pretty quiet really, there were only a few trees out there, some zebras, a wilderbeast off in the distance… gonna stay way the hell away from that.

Looked a little like a buffalo, but oh fuck no can we not? They were poisonous, venomous, and disease ridden. Oh, and pound for pound they fought like a honey badger… and they weighed about a ton.

I was superhuman and had a metallic body on command, but I wasn't invincible and I wanted none of that.

So… yeah. No thanks.

"Florida?"

The giraffe shied away from the sound of Jaime's voice and I looked over. While his old turtleneck had been destroyed, cannibalized in my efforts to staunch his bleeding, the Fisi tribe had apparently made him a new turtleneck out of leopard skin. It looked super weird with his dark skin and I looked over at the man as he looked up at me, "Yeah?"

"I'm ready," he said with a small smile.

Closing my notebook, I dropped from the back of the giraffe and tucked the book away, "Done with being pampered by your fan club?"

It'd only been three days since Jaime had woken up, I'd spent most of the time out in the savannah proper studying the various creatures, and spending the nights in the village proper, learning about their history and culture and legends from the shaman. Amusingly, while Katlego had left the next day, Enitan had ranted and raved about him in a negative fashion for several days.

It was all she talked about, amusingly so at that. Tsundere much?

Jaime pouted at me, "I can only recount a story I barely remember so many times before it gets old."

A smile spread across my face, "Not a fan?"

He snorted, "No, none of them are interested in learning my style."

I rolled my eyes and started to walk towards the edge of the plateau, "You use a rapier, they're mounted cavalry, of course not."

His pout intensified, "Yeah, but I still want to spread my style…"

"Tcheh. Now you're starting to sound like Lucca, just replacing seed with style."

Jaime cringed, "Ewww."

"And the ladies sure seemed eager to let you do that part at least."

"… less ew, once you get past the necks they're quite attractive."

"Yeah, but I personally struggle to get past the necks," I paused for a moment before tapping my own neck meaningfully, looking at Jaime's own, "Speaking of necks, you probably want to clean yours."

Jaime blinked before reaching up to the part of his neck just above his turtleneck, feeling the smudge of lipstick and blushing slightly, rubbing it away, "Well, they aren't as attractive as Captain Bonney, no."

"Very few women are," I pointed out… only to get a smirk in response, "… what?"

"Nothing."

---​

"Come on Jaime! Cut me!"

The trip back to the port town had taken longer than the one to the plateau. Mostly because Jaime needed to take it a bit easier than he had before. Still refused any help scaling the side of the plateau, the silly bugger. But we returned to the port town in relatively short order, Bonney had left a small crew on the Cake that included Akira for exactly this sort of reason.

"You're made of steel amigo!" The man with the pear shaped head snapped as his rapier lashed forward as flashes of steel. He'd left his hat on the deck not too far away, laid atop the carefully folded leopard-skin turtleneck and was sticking to just shorts and this world's equivalent to a wife-beater shirt and suspenders, "I can't cut you with my sword!"

We'd returned before any of the rest of the crew had, and the crew didn't have enough Den-Den Mushi to spread amongst all of the teams, so we just had to wait till the others returned.

"Yes you can! So stop with those silly little swings!" My arms flashed into a dark metallic state as the thin sword flashed about, deflecting the blade.

I was taking the opportunity to give Jaime some one-on-one training in between my work on rebuilding my tools. The mexican-esque man was faster than most people and honestly very skilled, but he had yet to show the gumption and raw physicality that he'd have required to beat Snugglewuss. It was inconsistent, possibly linked to drinking.

We were going to fix that.

"They're not silly!" Jaime grit his teeth, his mustache twitching as he lunged, the point of his blade smashing uselessly against my metallic skin. While this session was mostly about training Jaime, I was also practicing turning myself into metal reflexively in response to an attack.

"Then stop trying to cut me and cut me!" I snapped, grinning.

It'd been just over two weeks since we'd all headed out, and just under a week since Jaime and I had returned to the Cake. Akira had basically just done touch-ups for Jaime's treatment, declaring it almost satisfactory.

Jaime pulled back, bringing his feet together, standing ramrod straight as he brought the hilt level with his belly button, the blade pointed perfectly upwards. There was steel in his eyes this time, and I was intrigued, "Oh?"

"Equis!"

He lunged, the tip of his blade blurring into a figure eight so quickly that it barely seemed to move, the light flashing off of the dancing tip giving the illusion of a silver X at the tip of his sword, plunging past my guard and slicing across my chest.

Sparks flew as the tip of his blade slid across metal, and I felt that through my skin as more than a distant sensation. I began to grin at him, but Jaime grit his teeth, "Dos!"

Another blur of steel drew an X across my chest, sparks flying with no more effect than before.

"Tres! Quatro!" The force of the slashes dragging across my metal skin pushed me back a step, the edge of his blade ringing as it cut through the air. Just a little bit more...

"Cinco–!"

*Clang!*

"Wha-?!"

I caught his rapier in my palm, grinning at the larger man, "Better! But is that really all your style has to offer?!" I deliberately pressed his buttons, throwing the tip of his sword aside and holding my hands out, giving him a target, "Stop it with these little baby swings!"

Jaime wasn't as fast as I was, or as strong, even though he was significantly above average. But this wasn't about conditioning, it wasn't about how strong or fast or tough he was. It was about will, it was about determination, about focus. He didn't need to swing his sword harder or move faster or anything like that, though those would help. He needed to cut me. To know he could cut me and just do it.

There was a wild fury in Jaime's brown eyes, his long and curly mustache twitching several times before he slid into a different stance.

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow at him as his own pressure started to spike. I'd hit a nerve, quite on purpose I might add. Nothing visibly changed about him, but to my Observation haki it felt like I'd hit a tipping point.

He presented his left side to me, knees bent and his left arm pointed straight at me, palm out. His rapier was held tightly in his right hand and perfectly horizontal, brought back and level with his eyes. Eyes that had become the color of amber.

"Tap the Keg..."

My grin widened, "Well then..."

"Half Keg!"

There was a flicker of black about the tip of his blade as it plunged forward–!

*SCCCRREEEEEEEEECCCHHHH!!!*

Jaime stared, sword extended and his eyes wide. I grinned, the corner of my cheek twitching in pain, "Much better."

I'd intercepted his rapier with my palm, and the blade had pierced straight through my metallic hand, several inches of the thin sword sticking out of the back... but still well over a foot away from the center of my chest where he'd been aiming.

Letting my hand relax and the metallic musculature loosen, I slowly pulled my hand off of his rapier with a soft grinding sound. I looked curiously at the nearly perfectly diamond shaped hole through my palm, flexing my fingers and watching what little effect it had on the hole proper. It was rather fascinating, because I could feel the hole, and that had hurt briefly and more immediately than most things did, but it didn't hurt now.

"I- um... sorry?"

"The hell for? I was telling you to cut me, and while this might not be cutting, it'll do." It was strange… there was no silver this time, just that dark blue gray all the way through my hand… it wasn't like it was different parts of my body turning into different metals… so what was the difference…? It wasn't like I was deliberately becoming something else… "I told you to cut me, and you did."

He blinked a few times before a small smile began to appear on his face, "I-… I did, didn't I?"

Jaime, for just an instant, had used Haki, he'd imbued the tip of his rapier with his will and life force to pierce my own. And I'd been pouring my own power through my hand to intercept him without pouring it out into a barrier around me in the fashion of Armament Haki.

"Yes, you did." I flexed my hand, hard, and with a metallic *whump* the hole in my hand filled back in. There was a still a seam though... so I flexed harder, my brow furrowing as I tried to push the pieces of my hand back together the same way I moved my metallic body parts. There was a moment of pain as the spot glowed a soft orange, steam rising from the spot... and then it was gone, my metal hand whole once more.

"Now..." I grinned at Jaime, letting the metal melt away from my body and visibly returning to flesh, "Do it again."

The attack had cut my steel form, but it hadn't cut me. It was possible that I only 'bled mercury' if I was injured by a haki-infused weapon and I didn't counter it with haki of my own. If that was the case, then this confirmed something I'd been suspecting: that Haki could be used to buffer against Haki. The admirals hadn't been one-shotted by people using Haki despite it 'bypassing' the defenses of an intangible logia fruit.If I was right, it meant that in order to meaningfully harm a skilled haki user made of light or fire, you needed to overwhelm their will with your own.

"Um... again?"

"You heard me. An attack you can't use under pressure is worthless." My grin got just a little bit vicious at that. I wasn't going to hurt him, but I enjoyed training, I loved to teach and learn and push my limits, and this was D). All of the Above, "Now cut me again."

---​

"I'm guessing that you weren't successful."

Bonney looked up at me as I sat on the railing of the Cake, smirking a bit down at her. She was ruffled as hell, the edges of her jacket ragged, her hair a mess, and generally a dirty mess. Her lipstick long gone. She still looked good though even as she frowned up at me in confusion, "… what the hell are you doing back already?"

"Got some information from locals early on, and it looks like the McPuffins are on the other side of the island. At least from his best guess." Her team was actually the first to get back to my mild surprise, only a few days after Jaime had started to pick up Armament Haki.

The pink haired woman facepalmed, "… of fucking course."

Pushing off of the railing of the Cake, I dropped lightly to the ground in front of Bonney, "That rough of a time?"

"Yeah… ugh."

"Hey," I patted her shoulder, giving her a grin, "I made a hot shower?"

"You did?!"

Bonney and I normally managed by sitting in a shallow tub that was partially filled and toweling ourselves off, and honestly using that much water while out at sea would be retarded without something like a Clima-Tact to basically pull water from the air. But while at an island? Perfectly viable.

"Mhm, it doubles as an emergency rinse while working with chemicals, but I made sure to let it double as a hot shower–"

She grabbed my biceps, "Where?!"

"Just outside my lab. There's a metallic screen and changing room–

I was suddenly crushed in a surprisingly strong hug, "Thank you!"

"Welcome."

And then she was gone so fast that I spun in place a few times before skidding to a stop.

---

The McPuffin Part 13 End