Go to you

　　Ben’s voice breaks on the last word, his head dips and he hides his face in his palms. I stare at the back of his head. He doesn’t sound convinced of his words. And I know it is a lie he has told himself so much and for so long he believes it. Josef and Maddie are in love. He might lie to himself about a lot of things but not that.

　　His eyes close and tears leak down to his cheeks. I wipe them and place a kiss on his forehead the same way he does to comfort me. Maybe I am doing this wrong but I don’t know what or how to deal with it when I don’t know what the real problem is. He can’t go about his life paying Josef for every little thing.

　　“We can go to NYU, Benny. I think you will like it there. We don’t have to end in Broadway Heights.” His eyes twitch in anger and frustration. I cup his face, my voice lowers to a whisper. “Applications run till the end of this month. We can be together.”