Chapter 1.7 - ENGAGED
I look at him embarrassed, taking my hands off his legs..
"What do you mean engaged?" I said surprised
"I'm going to get married"
I sit back into the car seat, all the happiness quickly fading from my face, I didn't want to look at him, scared that he would feel more uncomfortable than I was feeling...
All I could think about was how If I wasn't so scared back then, he would've already been mine, why didn't I make a move when I was in high school, now I'll never make him mine.
My thoughts clouded my head, for a minute I sat staring into space, then suddenly the car stops, I gaze up to see a small restaurant called 'pizzeria'
I could tell it was old by the faded painting and the old posters, staring at the restaurant almost distracted me from the unfortunate news that I heard
The drivers' door opens and he stands up, I want to go home-but even as the twisting feeling in my stomach grew, I open the car door and stand up, even if he was getting married, it didn't mean that I hated him
With every step, my legs weaken, as if I'm fighting a force that's pulling me, finally I reach into the restaurant - it has pizza pictures every, which at the sight-made me want to vomit, that's how bad my appetite was ruined, but I just kept walking
As I'm walking, he slowly turns to me, I didn't want to look him in the eye, I didn't want to tear up, so I turned my eyes to the table in the back...
"Let's sit there"
Without wasting any time, I quickly move toward the table
SIX MINUTES LATER:
He's sitting silent, waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't, until suddenly a voice, a voice that came out unconsciously...
"I'm sorry"
As if my words were a silent killer, he looks up at me, and for the first time I could see the worry in his eyes, even though we didn't fully know each other it felt like he cared about what I thought...
"I didn't mean to drop that on you, I just didn't want to lead you on, especially if I wouldn't be able to give you back what you wanted"
His voice sounds sad but pleading as if he wanted me to stay but as friends-and I did, even if he didn't like me that way, as long I was close to him,
I wanted to try being friends with him, maybe I can even get rid of that bitch in the process...
"Sure," I said, he looked at me with a smile on his face, and my stomach started to relax, I smile back at him, wondering if I could be just friends with him...
TWO HOUR LATER:
We've been sitting for about two hours eating, talking, and getting to know each other, with every little information he tells me, no matter how small or unimportant my heartbeats, I have to constantly remind myself that we're just friends, but then...
"We're closing in 5"
Like a dream coming to an end, we both split the bill in half, after spending 3 minutes convincing him to let me help pay...
As I'm walking to his car, I can't resist from stealing a glance at him, his movement seems too perfect to be real, with every step i find myself getting turned on, I peek down down to see a boner, but thankfully I have my jacket to hide it...
As I get into his car he looks at me with an expression I can't place...
"Where's your house?"
"Just drop me off at the dorm"
"Why?"
"Well my dad...umm..." I paused before saying " I need to check what it's like and it's late, I don't want to wake them up"
I didn't want to go home or wanted my dad to see me this morning, he was always a bit abusive towards me after I told him I was gay, but It wasn't a big deal because I would always avoid him...
"Just sleepover at my place" I looked up at him with a startled expression
"I don't want to bother you"
"Just come, I won't take no for an answer"
I didn't respond but I guess that was my answer...