Broken in half

Bow's POV.

He is looking at me! Okay, more like glaring at me. His eyes are following my every move, watching and waiting for me to do something; just anything that will land me in trouble.

How do i know he's looking at me, you may ask? Well...that's a little bit hard to explain in words but believe me, its true. I get this weird kind of tingling feeling in the pit of my stomach each time he'd as much as glances at me you see...in the past it used to give me these butterflies like feelings but now, it just fills me with dread.

I'm so scared that if I'd so much as chew what's in my mouth, he might say I'm chewing too loud or better still throw a plate at me if he's feeling generous of course. 

This has been our daily routine for the past three years now. We've been married for what? five years now? That's right, its been five whole years since we got married and i wish i could say happily. 

The first two years were absolute bliss, i remember when we could sit down and talk just about anything and everything or just be content with being in each other's arms but the past three years have been a whole deferent story all together.

The first of those three years was the absolute worst, he'd beat the shit out of me for simply being around the house when he had guests, as if he'd let me leave the house. Even though i suggested that he should let me be out of the house when guests are around, he said i was looking for excuses to spend his money like always. 

As confused as i was about my husband's sudden Change in behavior and likes for bringing in different women to our home every single day to which of course i was forced to listen to them making love and hearing the agonizing sounds of their moans knowing deep down in my heart that, that was us just a few days ago in that position killed me. 

I wasn't even allowed to say anything or be angry about my husband's infidelity, because i would receive beatings when i do. How could he do that to me? All i ever did was love him right? 



Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts your very soul for just thinking about them hating or not wanting you? No? Well its excruciating. 

Its an absurd thing to say right ? Well...that's my life and i wish for my worst enemy to ever experience what I'm going through. When the beatings started, i didn't know how to feel let alone confront him about it. How could i though...he said he'd throw me out of the house, and i didn't want to give him reasons to fulfill his promise.



I guess you could say I'm a coward but i couldn't let him kick me out or even worse stop sponsoring the orphanage. The kids are well looked after now all thanks to him and i couldn't do that to them.

Plus, i was very determined to keep my mouth shut after losing my first pregnancy, but the beatings never stopped until the third miscarriage that almost ended my life which was the final blow to any hope of ever fixing what we had. Yes, you heard right! He beat our kids out of me every single time i got pregnant, he was surprisingly more violent during those times...my poor babies.

Wherever they are right now they must really hate and think of me as a failure. (Sniffs) Why i couldn't protect them? I'm a shity person and i don't deserve their forgiveness. 

Well, that's a story for another day. These days i simply make meals and we eat, sometimes in silence while some feet his feet on my stomach and if I'm lucky enough...he eats without bad mouthing me, which is rare but i count every breaks from him hurting me as a part of my blessings.

"Are you going to stare at your food the whole day? I mean you cooked but I don't get why you insist on having meals with me when all you do is spaced out every damn time" Oops! spoke too soon, sniffing and wiping traitorous tears from my eyes i said.



"Sorry, I'm no-t very hungry.'' I whispered.

''I wouldn't be hungry either if my cooking was this horrible" He replied with a scoff while shoving his plate away from him. 

Then he goes ahead to carry his bag and walked out the door like always. This is how we live now you see, he doesn't talk to me or even look at me but when he does its to criticize my clothes, hair, my cooking and i just really want it to end. The pain is unbearable, i'm tired of it all. I'm torn between what was and what's happening and i don't know if things are ever going back to the way they were ever again. 













Author's Note... 

This is it guys!!!!, another chapter as promised. Please vote and comment, it will mean so much to me, bye bye for now my lovelies