Some People Just Don't Grasp the Concept of "Unwelcome"

I was right on the edge of sleep.

The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago—the forest was gray now instead of black. Seth'd curled up and passed out around one, and I'd woken him at dawn to trade off. Even after running all night, I was having a hard time making my brain shut up long enough to fall asleep, but Seth's rhythmic run was helping. One, two-three, four, one, two-three, four—dum, dum-dum, dum—dull paw thuds against the damp earth, over and over as he made the wide circuit around the Cullens' land. We were already wearing a trail into the ground. Seth's thoughts were empty, just a blur of green and gray as the woods flew past him. It was restful. It helped to fill my head with what he saw rather than letting my own images take center stage.

And then Seth's piercing howl broke the early morning quiet.

I lurched up from the ground, my front legs pulling toward a sprint before my hind legs were off the ground. I raced to the place where Seth had frozen, listening with him to the tread of paws running in our direction.

Morning, boys.

A shocked whine broke through Seth's teeth. And then we both snarled as we read deeper into the new thoughts.

Man! Go away, Liam! Seth groaned.

I stopped when I got to Seth, head thrown back, ready to howl again—this time to

complain.

Cut the noise, Seth.

Right. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! He whimpered and pawed at the ground, scratching deep furrows in the dirt.

Liam trotted into view, his lean gray body weaving through the underbrush.

Stop whining, Seth. You're such a baby.

I growled at him, my ears flattening against my skull. He skipped back a step automatically.

What do you think you're doing, Liam?

He huffed a heavy sigh. It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I'm joining your crappy little

renegade pack. The vampires' guard dogs. He barked out a low, sarcastic laugh.

No, you're not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings.

Like you could catch me.He grinned and coiled his body for launch. Wanna race, O fearless leader?

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs until my sides bulged. Then, when I was sure I wasn't going to scream, I exhaled in a gust.

Seth, go let the Cullens know that it's just your jackass brother—I thought the words as harshly as possible. I'll deal with this.

On it! Seth was only too happy to leave. He vanished toward the house.

Liam whined, and he leaned after Seth, the fur on his shoulders rising. You're just going to let him run off to the vampires alone?

I'm pretty sure he'd rather they took him out than spend another minute with you.

Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I'm sorry—I meant, shut up, most high Alpha.

Why the hell are you here?

You think I'm just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?

Seth doesn't want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here.

Oooh, ouch, that one hurt. Ha, he barked. Tell me who does want me around, and I'm outta here.

So this isn't about Seth at all, is it?

Of course it is. I'm just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you know what I mean.

I gritted my teeth and tried to get my head straight.

Did Sam send you?

If I was here on Sam's errand, you wouldn't be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him.

I listened carefully to the thoughts mixed in with the words. If this was a diversion or a ploy, I had to be alert enough to see through it. But there was nothing. His declaration was nothing but the truth. Unwilling, almost despairing truth.

You're loyal to me now? I asked with deep sarcasm. Uh-huh. Right.

My choices are limited. I'm working with the options I've got. Trust me, I'm not enjoying this any more than you are.

That wasn't true. There was an edgy kind of excitement in his mind. He was unhappy about this, but he was also riding some weird high. I searched his mind, trying to understand.

He bristled, resenting the intrusion. I usually tried to tune Liam out—I'd never tried to make sense of him before.

We were interrupted by Seth, thinking his explanation at Edward. Liam whined anxiously. Edward's face, framed in the same window as last night, showed no reaction to the news. It was a blank face, dead.

Wow, he looks bad, Seth muttered to himself. The vampire showed no reaction to that thought, either. He disappeared into the house. Seth pivoted and headed back out to us. Liam relaxed a little.

What's going on? Liam asked. Catch me up to speed.

There's no point. You're not staying.

Actually, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I have to belong to someone—and don't think I haven't tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how well that doesn't work—I choose you.

Liam, you don't like me. I don't like you.

Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesn't matter to me. I'm staying with Seth.

You don't like vampires. Don't you think that's a little conflict of interest right there?

You don't like vampires either.

But I am committed to this alliance. You aren't.

I'll keep my distance from them. I can run patrols out here, just like Seth.

And I'm supposed to trust you with that?

He stretched his neck, leaning up on his toes, trying to be as tall as me as he stared into my eyes. I will not betray my pack.

I wanted to throw my head back and howl, like Seth had before. This isn't your pack! This isn't even a pack. This is just me, going off on my own! What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can't you leave me alone?

Seth, just coming up behind us now, whined; I'd offended him. Great.

I've been helpful, haven't I, Jake?

You haven't made too much a nuisance of yourself, kid, but if you and Liam are a package deal—if the only way to get rid of him is for you to go home.... Well, can you blame me for wanting you gone?

Ugh, Liam, you ruin everything!

Yeah, I know, he told him, and the thought was loaded with the heaviness of his

despair.

I felt the pain in the three little words, and it was more than I would've guessed. I didn't want to feel that. I didn't want to feel bad for him. Sure, the pack was rough on him, but he brought it all on himself with the bitterness that tainted his every thought and made being in his head a nightmare.

Seth was feeling guilty, too.  Jake... You're not really gonna send me away, are you? Liam's not so bad. Really. I mean, with him here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam down to seven. There's no way he's going to mount an attack that outnumbered. It's probably a good thing....

You know I don't want to lead a pack, Seth.

So don't lead us, Liam offered.

I snorted. Sounds perfect to me. Run along home now.

Jake, Seth thought. I belong here. I do like vampires. Cullens, anyway. They're people to me, and I'm going to protect them, 'cause that's what we're supposed to do.

Maybe you belong, kid, but your brother doesn't. And he's going to go wherever you are —

I stopped short, because I saw something when I said that. Something Liam had been trying not to think.

Liam wasn't going anywhere.

Thought this was about Seth, I thought sourly.

He flinched. Of course I'm here for Seth.

And to get away from Sam.

His jaw clenched. I don't have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I'm told. I belong to your pack, Jacob. The end.

I paced away from him, growling.

Crap. I was never going to get rid of him. As much as he disliked me, as much as he loathed the Cullens, as happy as he'd be to go kill all the vampires right now, as much as it pissed him off to have to protect them instead—none of that was anything compared to what he felt being free of Sam.

Liam didn't like me, so it wasn't such a chore having me wish he would disappear.

He loved Sam. Still. And having Sam wish he would disappear was more pain than he was willing to live with, now that he had a choice. He would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their lapdog.

I don't know if I'd go that far,he thought. He tried to make the words tough, aggressive, but there were big cracks in his show. I'm sure I'd give killing myself a few good tries first.

Look, Liam…

No, you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it's not going to do any good. I'll stay out of your way, okay? I'll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam and be the pathetic ex-boyfriend—the dirty little secret—he can't get away from. If you want me to leave—he sat back on his haunches and stared straight into my eyes—you're going to have to make me.

I snarled for a long, angry minute. I was beginning to feel some sympathy for Sam, despite what he had done to me, to Seth. No wonder he was always ordering the pack around. How else would you ever get anything done?

Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your brother?

Seth pretended to think about it for a minute. Well... yeah, probably.

I sighed.

Okay, then, Mr. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don't you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?

Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn't hear either of you anymore. Sam was... Words failed him, but we could see it in our head. Both Seth and I cringed. After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn't going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I'm not sure what they'll do, but I wouldn't be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It's open season on vamps now.

You decided to skip the meeting this morning? I asked.

When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—

Crap! You told Mom? Seth growled.

Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Liam.

So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two- separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth's safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we'll hear it when Sam finds out....

Liam cocked an ear to the west.

Yeah, I expect we will, I agreed.

So that's everything. What do we do now? he asked.

He and Seth both looked at me expectantly.

This was exactly the kind of thing I didn't want to have to do.

I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That's all we can do. You should probably take a nap, Liam.

You've had as much sleep as I have.

Thought you were going to do what you were told?

Right. That's going to get old, he grumbled, and then he yawned. Well, whatever. I don't care.

I'll run the border, Jake. I'm not tired at all. Seth was so glad I hadn't forced them home, he was all but prancing with excitement.

Sure, sure. I'm going to go check in with the Cullens.

Seth took off along the new path worn into the damp earth. Liam looked after him thoughtfully.

Maybe a round or two before I crash.... Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?

NO!

Barking out a low chuckle, Liam lunged into the woods after him. I growled uselessly. So much for peace and quiet.

Liam was trying—for Liam. He kept his jibes to a minimum as he raced around the circuit, but it was impossible not to be aware of his smug mood. I thought of the whole "two's company" saying. It didn't really apply, because one was plenty to my mind. But if there had to be three of us, it was hard to think of anyone that I wouldn't trade him for.

Paul? he suggested.

Maybe, I allowed.

He laughed to himself, too jittery and hyper to get offended. I wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sam's pity would last.

That will be my goal, then—to be less annoying than Paul.

Yeah, work on that.

I changed into my other form when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadn't been planning to spend much time human here. But I hadn't been planning to have Liam in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started across the lawn.

The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was surprised to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me—his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.

"Are you all right, Jacob?" Carlisle asked.

"Is Beau?" I choked out.

"He's... much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I'm sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn't want to leave Beau. He's awake."

And Edward didn't want to lose any time with him, because he didn't have much time left. Carlisle didn't say the words out loud, but he might as well have.

It had been a while since I'd slept—since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.

Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don't know how much I appreciate your... compassion. I know your goal was to protect Beau, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do…"

"Don't mention it," I muttered.

"If you prefer."

We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, speaking in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another room. Royal and Edward breathing close by—I couldn't tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Beau's labored panting. I could hear his heart, too. It seemed... uneven.

It was like fate was out to make me do everything I'd ever sworn I wouldn't in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, waiting for Beau to die.

I didn't want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.

"Beau's family to you?" I asked Carlisle. It had caught my notice before, when he'd said I'd helped the rest of his family, too.

"Yes. Beau is already a son to me. A beloved son."

"But you're going to let him die."

He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.

"I can imagine what you think of me for that," he finally said. "But I can't ignore his will. It wouldn't be right to make such a choice for him, to force him. I don't think Beau would have been opposed to changing if it had been on his terms, but not having any choice in the matter… well, I can hardly blame him for refusing."

I wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it hard. It was like he was throwing my own words back at me, just scrambled up. They'd sounded right before, but they couldn't be right now. Not with Beau dying. Still... I remembered how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam—to have no choice over my own life, my own future. It wasn't the same, though. Sam was wrong. And Beau was making stupid decisions.

"Do you think there's any chance he'll make it? I mean, as a vampire and all that."

"I'd say there's an even chance at this point," he answered quietly. "I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. His heart is working too hard now; if it should fail... there won't be anything for me to do."

Beau's heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving an agonizing emphasis to his words.

Maybe the planet had started turning backward. Maybe that would explain how everything was the opposite of what it had been yesterday—how I could be hoping for what had once seemed like the very worst thing in the world.

"What is it doing to him?" I whispered. "He was so much worse last night. I saw... the tubes and all that. Through the window."

"The disease is attacking his body at an alarming rate. It's too strong, too unpredictable. I've never seen anything like it. I've tried every kind of antibiotic I can think of. His body just keeps breaking down, getting weaker and weaker. Aside from the blood in his lungs, the pain, the fevers and chills, he can't even keep food down anymore. I'm trying to feed him intravenously, but he's just not absorbing it fast enough. I thought I knew everything there was to know about medicine, but this…" His weary voice broke at the end.

I felt nauseous and furious just thinking about Beau's condition, about how frail and sick he'd looked.

I clenched my hands into fists to control the shaking. I hated that Beau was in so much pain. I hated that there was nothing any of us could do to stop it. It wasn't fair. Beau was a good person. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to suffer so much, to die. Even now, I could smell the sickness from here. It was a bitter, acrid smell in his blood.

"His blood smells all wrong," I muttered, more to myself than to Carlisle.

"Yes," he agreed. "I'm not surprised you can smell it, given your abilities. The disease is vector-borne, that's where it originated. A bite from some insect that introduced something into his bloodstream. Now that it's in his blood, it has attacked his blood cells, destroyed his body's ability to fight disease. It's almost turned his own antibodies against him."

"Nothing is helping?"

"Nothing we've tried. There were some mild improvements with blood-transfusions. I've kept a stock of O-negative laid aside for Beau—in the event of emergencies—but it was short-lived, and I've run out now. But it was the only thing that seemed to truly help in any way."

Ironic. Blood was the answer. "How does that work, exactly?"

"Beau's blood is breaking down from the disease, making it unable to perform necessary functions. The transfusions introduced healthy blood back into his system and improved his condition. Again, it's pointless now that I've run out."

"Can't you get more?" I asked.

"I'm hesitant to leave given Beau's condition. If something were to happen when I'm not here…." Carlisle sighed. "I've had to make do with what I have."

I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to help, but I wasn't really any use. I wished I could give Beau some of my own healing abilities. I'd be willing to give up my life if it meant helping him at this point, even my own blood.

Then we heard Edward's voice inside the house, and we both paused to listen.

"I'll be right back, Beau. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Royal, would you mind accompanying me?" Edward sounded different. There was a little life in his dead voice. A spark of something. Not hope exactly, but maybe the desire to hope.

"What is it, Edward?" Beau asked hoarsely.

"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will take just a second. Please, Roy?"

"Esme?" Royal called. "Can you mind Beau for me?"

I heard the whisper of wind as Esme flitted down the stairs.

"Of course," she said.

Carlisle shifted, twisting to look expectantly at the door. Edward was through the door first, with Royal right on his heels. Edward's face was, like his voice, no longer dead. He seemed intensely focused. Royal looked suspicious.

Edward shut the door behind him.

"Carlisle," he murmured.

"What is it, Edward?"

"Perhaps we can help Beau without making a supply run. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you mentioned the blood transfusions, Jacob had a thought."

Me?What had Ithought?

"We know that clean blood has helped Beau, we know it's strengthened him. Until we ran out, it was the best he was doing."

"Yes, but I'm not following you, Edward," Carlisle said.

"Think about it, Carlisle. We need blood, and none of us can provide it. But there is someone here who can."

I realized at the same moment as Carlisle that he was talking about me.

"Oh," he said in a surprised tone. "I hadn't considered…"

Royal hissed under his breath. His revoltingly perfect face incredulous. "We're going to pump Beau full of dog blood?"

"Hmm." Carlisle put his hand to his chin, lost in thought. "I wonder… If the blood types are compatible…"

"Do you know your blood type, Jacob?" Edward asked me.

I dug through my brain. "O-negative. Pretty sure, at least."

Royal hissed again.

"Would it work, Carlisle? Given Jacob's…" Edward glanced at me, "abilities?"

Carlisle considered this for a moment. "I'm not sure." His eyes were intense, focused. "On a DNA level… The chromosomal count is similar, but not exactly the same."

"You're losing me, Doc," I sighed. "Can you dumb it down."

He glanced up to me, "Okay. How much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?"

"Think so. We have twenty-three, right?"

"Humans do."

I blinked. "How many do you have?"

"Twenty-five."

I frowned at him for a second, then I realized he was excluding me from 'humans.'

"I don't have twenty-three?"

Carlisle coughed self-consciously. "You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob."

I raised my eyebrows at him slowly.

He looked embarrassed. "I was… curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June."

I thought about it for a second. "I guess that should piss me off. But I don't really care."

"I'm sorry. I should have asked."

"S'okay, Doc. You didn't mean any harm."

"No, I promise you that I did not mean you any harm. It's just that... I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to seem commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family's divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost."

"Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo," I mumbled. He was just like Beau with all the magic garbage.

"How is this helping Beau?" Royal snapped.

"Yes, of course," Carlisle was focused again. "The blood-types match. The chromosomal count is similar…" He sighed, "But I don't know what will happen. I don't know if they're truly compatible."

"But they might be." Edward urged.

"And what if Beau turns into a dog?" Royal glared.

"I don't think it works that way, Royal." Edward snapped.

"But you don't know, Edward." Royal turned to him. "I'm not going to let you do anything to jeopardize Beau's humanity. Remember, it has to be his choice."

Edward was quiet then. His expression dark, full of guilt. The blond knew what buttons to push.

I was annoyed with Blondie, but I couldn't be mad at his logic. Beau had wanted to stay human, and Royal was willing to do anything to help him stay human. In different circumstances I could probably manage to be grateful.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once, absently, not looking in my direction. But I knew he was agreeing with me.

"Well," I finally spoke, "we've never had any other problems in the tribe. No stories in our legends of anyone becoming a wolf because of blood. I mean, it's a lineage thing—passed down through the bloodline—but I think it's more like a metaphor?"

Carlisle considered this for a moment. "It may be worth a try."

Royal huffed. "It should be Beau's decision." He cut a seething glance at me. "I don't like it. But if it will help…" He huffed again, "Let's just ask Beau what he thinks."

Edward's expression lifted a little. That same look of hope in his eyes.

I slowly trudged behind them as they disappeared into the house. I wasn't sure if I was ready to believe this could help. I didn't know if I could handle the disappointment if it didn't. I failed to protect Beau from the bloodsuckers, I didn't know if I could handle failing him again now.

Beau lay flat on the hospital bed, his body skeletal under the sheet. He looked like wax—colorless and sort of see-through. You'd think he was already dead, except for the tiny movement of his chest, his shallow breathing. His expression was somber and thoughtful. He barely noticed us when we came in.

The others were at his side already, flitting across the room with sudden darting motions. It was creepy to watch. I ambled along at a slow walk.

"What's going on?" Beau demanded in a scratchy, startled whisper.

"We've had an idea that might help you," Carlisle said. "It does have some risk, and we're not sure it will work…"

"But there is a chance," Edward urged.

"A small chance." Royal corrected.

Beau eyed us all. Then he coughed weakly. "I could use a chance right now," He chuckled, then coughed again. "I think I've used up all my other chances at this point."

Royal sighed and rubbed Beau's arm softly. Edward put a hand on Beau's head.

He looked like he only had hours left, and he had to be in pain, but he was making jokes. So Beau. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else.

"Beau," Edward said softly, no humor in his intense expression. "You remember the blood transfusions?"

Beau shuddered, "Yeah, loved those. Absolutely thrilling." He coughed again.

"We've come up with a solution…" Edward began carefully.

"A risky solution." Royal interrupted. "Possibly not even a real solution."

"It's the best chance we have, Royal." Edward barely managed to keep his voice above a growl.

"Hey, hey now!" Beau coughed, "Knock it off, you two." He cleared his throat, it was a raspy, haggard sound. "What's the solution?"

The bloodsuckers all slowly looked over at me.

"Jake?" Beau raised an eyebrow. "What can you do, Jake?"

"It's not what I can do, babe, it's what I can give."

He blinked. "Oh. Oh."

"Your condition is deteriorating rapidly." Carlisle said, "We don't have time to waste. Introducing healthy blood into your body seems to be the only thing that's helped you."

"How's that for ironic?" Beau said softly after a moment. "I wasn't ready to become a vampire yet and here I am still sucking down blood." He was quiet for a moment. "Well," He sighed, "at least I don't have to drink it."

Royal and Carlisle chuckled quietly. Edward was stone faced. I felt slightly nauseous.

Beau's gaze flickered to me, "Jake," he began slowly, "I can't ask you to do this. You've already done so much for me—you're already doing so much for me. Too much. I'm not going to ask you to give me… To…" He trailed off.

I took one of his hands in mine, for once, it didn't feel cool. It felt just as hot as my skin. "You're not asking me to do anything, babe. I'm offering. I just hope it works."

"Hope it doesn't turn Beau into a dog," Royal muttered under his breath.

Beau's eyes widened, then a smile spread across his face and he laughed for a moment, before another coughing fit took over.

"Beau, love, you can't excite yourself like that." Edward soothed.

"Sorry—" Beau cleared his throat, wiping a trickle of blood from his lips, "The mental image was just too funny…"

"Do you want to give it a try, Beau?" Carlisle asked gently.

"Well," he rasped, "what have we got to lose at this point?" He shrugged, weakly, "Bring on the blood."