CONFESSION

I couldn't help but stare open-mouthed at Cal. Why did he have to say things like that to me? I mean, what was the purpose? Did I not make that crystal clear to him? He knew I wouldn't give Elijah up for anything in this world. But then again, I continued to entertain his affections for me. Deep down, I wanted him to continue to tell me how much he wanted me. I would never admit it, though.

"I wish you would stop saying things like that." I sighed while my shoulders caved inwards. The guilt washed over me, crashing into my soul like water from a broken dam.

He brushed a strand of hair behind my hair. "Do my words make you uncomfortable? Is it that you want me as bad as I want you?" I nodded my head slightly. "I'm glad you're uncomfortable, sweetheart. It means that those walls you willingly put up will soon come crumbling down, and in the end, there will be no wanting me or me wanting you, as you will be mine."

He could be right, I thought. The more he expressed how much he wanted me, my resolve broke. But I wouldn't do that to Elijah. He deserved better than that. He deserved for me to give him every ounce of loyalty I had. I just needed to be resilient. Temptation is a motherfucker, and Cal tempted me like the devil seducing Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.

"Aren't you worried you're setting yourself up for failure?" I wondered.

"Failure? No, of course not." He laughed, "I would only consider failure an option if you didn't want me. Have you forgotten I am a wolf? I can smell your arousal and not to mention the way your heart flutters when I get close to you." He leaned back on the bench.

Again, he wasn't wrong.

"Just because my body may want you doesn't mean I will act on it." My lips puckered into a pout. "You told me I only wanted Elijah because of the mate bond. Did it ever occur to you that you feel so strongly about me because I'm the only one, other than you, that a God has kissed?" I turned to face him, "If we didn't share that common thread, would you still want to be with me?"

His eyes looked more considerate as he evaluated me before responding. He crossed his legs before grabbing my hand, holding it as if it would break from the slightest pressure.

" Helena, I would want you even if you were the idiot missing from the village." He smiled at his joke. "The fact that you and I are connected in that way is but a fraction of why I am attracted to you." He stroked the back of my hand, "I remember when you were about eight years old, and you and your mother were in a store. One of those mom-and-pop corner stores with no security camera." He chuckled. " And you accidentally walked out with a candy bar, but you didn't realize it until you both were on the road. You practically begged your mom to turn around so you could give it back. You were so afraid that you would go to Hell. So afraid that you did something wrong and couldn't fix it. You had a strong sense of right and wrong even as a child."

My dumbfounded expression made him laugh harder. I remembered that day clearly as a bell. I cried until my mom finally turned the car around, allowing me to return and return what I had taken.

He continued with a melancholy voice. "I also remember when you were in third grade, and it was Valentine's Day. One kid didn't get any treats or cards in the box that he made. You saw how sad he was, so you made him a card that said, 'You're the sweetest candy in the box and taped a carton of Sweet Tarts to it. Your tenderness and warmth at that moment made me desire your heart. I thought, 'how nice would it be if she cared for me like that?'." He said as he turned his head away from me.

I sat there speechless at his confession. He was making this an impossible situation for me, but I wanted him to continue to act on his feelings. If time permitted it, I would have cried from all the intense guilt and love I felt. Not only did my body seem to like this insufferable man, but my heart yearned to be one with him.

As I thought more and more about his confession, I found it odd that he knew what I was doing throughout my childhood. Was he stalking me?

"How do you know that?" I asked.

He looked confused for a second, but then he understood what I meant.

" I told you I felt your presence when your soul came back. So, I looked in on you from time to time." He shrugged his shoulders, "Watching you grow up was far better than anything I could have been doing." He winked.

I was glad he showed an interest, and I was even more thrilled that he admitted to basically stalking me. I should've felt disgusted or creeped out that he was spying on me, but I didn't. If anything, I felt shy after his confession. I fiddled with my fingers as I struggled with something to say. But he broke the silence before I could.

"Relax, Lena. There is no need for you to feel shy or uncomfortable around me" He stared at me. "I enjoyed every second of every day as I watched you grow into the woman you are right now," he caressed my cheek as he continued to speak, " At first, when you were a child, I wanted to protect you as a brother would, but as you grew I started to want to protect you as a husband should. It dawned on me that you were the same from our previous life, but you were also different, and I found myself thinking of ways to deserve your love. To have you look at me the way you looked at those you adored in your life," he smiled, "Having you willing to say 'I love you' would be the equivalent of having the sun in my chest. All that warmth and shine radiating throughout me, erasing my existence from the darkness that has encased me for far too long. I know I don't deserve it, but that doesn't me I will give up trying to earn it."

Lena? My eyes blinked rapidly, and I couldn't fight the wetness that pooled between my thighs at the nickname he lovingly gave me. His words also hit me directly to my soul and left me pining for more. More time with him. I couldn't deny my feelings anymore, even if I wanted to. I was beginning to fall hard for him. He said that he didn't deserve me, but in reality, I didn't deserve him. I wasn't who he built me up to be.

I grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Cal, I think you look at me and see a perfect woman. I'm but a shell of that image you seem to cling to. I am not extraordinary; no statues will be made in my honor. No speeches will be dedicated to me. The world will not benefit from my existence, and I'm selfish. I'm selfish for wanting you the way I do knowing that I have no intentions of leaving Elijah for you. I've never thought much about whom I would love or end up with, but I don't think I deserve either of you." His hand squeezed mine, "How can I expect real love when I don't seem to be able to give it myself, nor do I understand it?" I shook my head.

Cal let go of my hand and picked me up, placing me on his lap. His stiff shaft was pressing against the damp fabric of my panties. My breath hitched, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Sweet, sweet, Lena. I don't wish for you to be perfect or extraordinary. I love you. Pass your flaws, pass your insecurities, and pass my ambitions. You are an imperfect perfect specimen, and the world doesn't need you, but I do. The girl that compromised her moral compass to save another is not selfish. The girl that dared to give the devil another chance isn't just extraordinary but remarkably exceptional." He rested his palm on my chest, "Your heart is the most valuable thing I could ever wish to possess in this world, and someday, Lena, I will. I welcome the darkness if I have to wait in the shadows for eternity to gain you."

The genuine love I saw in his eyes was more than startling. It melted me, and I couldn't stop pressing my lips against his. At first, he was shocked, but his body relaxed into mine, and my lips parted, allowing his tongue access. His arms tightened around my waist, and the kiss was no longer gentle and soft but now passionate and fierce. I let out a low moan as his tongue danced inside my mouth.

"Please don't moan like that," He growled. "I will take you here, and I won't be gentle." He slid his hands up my thighs.

I tried to talk, but something felt off. I felt like I was falling asleep or maybe passing out. I wasn't sure. Glancing at my hands that were pressed against Cal's chest, I gasped. My hand looked like it was disappearing. It was almost translucent in a way.

"What is going on?" I murmured.

His eyes blazed with anger and sadness.

"Someone is pulling your consciousness back into your body." He growled. I don't want you to go."

It was too late. I started to confess to him that I didn't want to leave him, but the words were somehow stuck in my throat. I could hear the faint voice of someone telling me to come back to them from a distant but familiar place. My eyes focused on Cal, and a twinge of sadness ran through me.

"Tell your mate that it is time he made due on our agreement." His lips curled back.