#REINCARNATION #R18 #WEAKTOSTRONG #MYSTERY #DARK #SUPERPOWERS #SLICEOFLIFE #SURVIVAL #TRAGEDY #REVENGE

BOTTLED UP INSIDE

I have to keep my difficulties within because that is the only way I can physically prevent myself from trying to commit suicide. Is it not preferable to be physically dead but mentally dead? I am currently accustomed to being mentally dead, and no one would know unless I made an effort to tell them otherwise. If being deported means leaving this world, I should keep my true emotions and personality hidden from this world and act as if everything is well when it is not. Verbally, emotionally, physically, and mentally. My entire identity was ruined. My understanding of reality was destroyed.

Princy_Prince2 · Fantasy

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10 Chs

WAS IT ALL A LIE?

It's been a few years,

Since I felt this worried.

My mind races about tomorrow,

As a new day begins.

So many questions,

So many thoughts.

Will the abuse repeat again?

After such a sweet break.

Everything hurts,

From my memories to my thoughts.

I feel as though I won't make it,

Another step or two.

My heart is cracking,

Knowing I would never be the same again.

My world is crumbling,

Just like my mind is.

I don't know what will I do.

Every nightmare makes me feel insecure.

Should I stop with these questions or Ignore the state I am in?

My heart is racing beyond my breath,

Just like those days, I used to have panic attacks.

My achievements of becoming better,

Or am I being delusional about it all?

Is being crushed down to the ground better than aiming for something that would never be in my grip?

Everything I ever did to recover,

Will it all be wasted?

Knowing that my entire mental health was nothing but a mistake.

Where are these thoughts coming from?

I don't seem to understand but they do make some sense.