10 V. I Chapter 10: Don't Be Sad

"Hey, Ciel! Stay with me, bud. C'mon, wake up. Open your eyes, please."

That voice sounded familiar, drawing Ciel out of the dark corner of his mind, raising him up until he was looking at a brilliant pair of jade eyes. Jade eyes he'd seen once, blurred by fear and also a fierce longing that he wouldn't be alone anymore.

Those eyes filled with tears, the same way they did when Ciel'd hissed at him. "Thank God you're awake. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't opened your eyes."

Ciel's vision was blurred, his glasses somewhere else, and he felt soft and warm and comfortable, so he guessed he was laying in his bed. He tried to lift his arm, but his fingers gave only a small twitch. He started to panic. He couldn't let anyone he knew see him like this. Then his secret would be...!

"It's okay. It's okay. You're safe. Safe with me," that soft voice said, and a hand brushed back Ciel's hair from his forehead, petting him like he was a small child, a comforting feeling, thought foreign and unfamiliar.

"Gla...sses," Ciel whispered. He nearly whined as the hand left his forehead, but then he felt the familiar touch of his glasses being placed on his nose. As his eyes came into focus, he stared up at the man sitting on the bed next to him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, worried, yet slightly awkward. "I'm sorry for being in your house again, but you were really lucky I was! What would have happened if you passed out there and someone wasn't there to shut the door and bring you upstairs?" His jade eyes, a lighter and fiercer shade of green than Jaeyline's, glittered as they stared at him, and his hair, almost as long as Ciel's, was the same inky black, as if the gods had weaved their long strands with the darkness of night itself.

Ciel just looked at the person, a man now, though so similar to the boy in his memory. He looked at where the man's arm propped him up next to Ciel's, matching the color of their skin, the way that man pulled at his hair as he waited for Ciel's response. An action so familiar, for Ciel copied that action almost daily without a second thought. "Is... that really you?" he asked. "Did you really come to find me? After all these years?"

The man started to shake as his eyes grew wet, fist clenching the sheets.

Ciel closed his eyes and told himself that if he was hallucinating, he would throw himself of the roof. Then he opened his eyes and whispered, "Lak...sa? Laksa Jackson?"

The tears overflowed from the man's eyes and he laughed weakly. "It's nice to see you again after such a long time, Ciel Michaelis."

Ciel's throat was scratchy from screaming and he was aching all over. "Who let you in my house? Didn't I warn you I'd brain you if you stepped in here again?" he asked hoarsely.

"I didn't listen. Disobedience runs in the family," joked Laksa's eyes.

Ciel's mind flashed to a pair of blue eyes, of hands groping him as Laksa reached out again, and his limbs moved, smacking his hand away. Ciel's eyes widened as he realized what he'd done. "I- I'm so sorry," he said. "I j-just had a r-rough afternoon."

Laksa's eyes narrowed as Ciel started shaking and pulling at his hair. Laksa reached out again as Ciel's face was turned away, ruffling his hair a bit in a friendly, gentle manner. It hurt a bit, the touch hesitant in case they just weren't close anymore, that his brother was such a wreck. That Laksa's leaving without him had caused it all. Laksa stood from the edge of the bed, heart throbbing for his friend, his brother. "Your pretty boss came looking for you while I was here. Gave me a nasty punch in the gut."

"I bet you deserved it," Ciel said.

Laksa didn't let himself smile at the kind bantering, just stood and walked to the door. "Get some rest for a few minutes. I'm going to help her cook."

Ciel watched Laksa close the door softly behind him, closing his eyes, doing a mental check of everywhere that hurt. His chest, from cuts and bruises from the ropes and maybe a broken rib when the attendants had gotten rough with him. His legs, from where the attendants had stretched them in odd angles, making him pose as they tied him up with rope and stepped on his shins. His shoulders, which had been dislocated as they kept pulling the ropes, then roughly popped back in as Ciel ran home. His neck, which was covered in red spots and teeth marks. His left ear, where someone had pierced it with a needle. His cheeks, where he'd been slapped until he did what they wanted him to.

Ciel probably should have gone to a hospital, but he realized that Laksa had taped his rib and stuck adhesive bandages and compresses to the parts that hurt. His baby brother. Ciel ran a hand through his hair, tearing out a few strands. He didn't know how he felt about this child, the child born after Ciel's father had abandoned him, causing his mother to go even more insane than she already was. When he'd first seen Laksa, he felt a connection somehow. And when Laksa had told Ciel he was his brother, Ciel was so happy he could burst, but then he remembered the demon and what she was doing to him to get revenge on his father. Just imagining what she could do to this innocent boy who had nothing to do with Michaelis madness... he wanted to keep that from happening, even if his mother beat him and locked him in chains and invited even more entertainment when she found out he'd kept that from her.

But years later, there was some resentment that Laksa hadn't told anyone to check, a bit of jealousy he was able to grow up well without bearing as many scars as him. Now that he'd finally seen that face again, old emotions started to rise up, both love for a younger brother and hate for being abandon.

The door opened again and Ciel sat up painfully as Jaeyline waked in.

"N-no! Lay back down!" she rushed, taking the spot where Laksa had been. "How are you feeling? You looked really bad before."

"Sore and tired, but other than that, I'm great," Ciel replied, smiling softly. Jaeyline had a calming effect, easing his tense body into relaxation. "Why were you here?"

"I was looking for you... because you seemed so distressed earlier. You were in such a rush to get out of the office. Everyone said you looked like you'd been possessed."

Ciel huffed a laugh. "Sorry."

"I hate that."

He looked up at her, her face suddenly so cold and hard. A shiver ran up his spine as Ciel stiffened. "W-what exactly do you hate?"

"The fact that you're always apologizing. It's annoying, especially when you never did anything wrong." Her face softened and, unconsciously, she reached over and smoothed his hair from his face before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Through a crack between the door and its frame, Laksa watched the two converse and smiled as the woman kissed Ciel on the forehead. After everything his brother had gone through, he deserved to be happy, but knowing how dense his brother was, he already knew being happy would be a long and tough journey.

Jaeyline realized what she'd just done as she stroked Ciel's hair once again, and she jumped up from the bed, cheeks aflame. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean anything by it! I just thought you looked cute looking at me like a lost puppy! A-and nothing will ever make me fire you or anything, even if you continue to apologize! I-I should go now!" She made a beeline for the door, shouting, "Don't read into it! It meant nothing!"

Ciel covered his eyes with his arm and started laughing. The look on her face as she ran out was funny and cute. Then he frowned to himself. Cute? When had his image of her changed from the unshakable company president to a smiling and comforting woman? And was the warmth inside him because of the almost motherly touch she'd bestowed upon him, something he had never experienced?

"Hey," a voice called, breaking him out of his thoughts. "What're you thinking about so intently?"

Ciel found the three assassins in the doorway, and his fist clenched.

"Don't worry. We just came to check on you," Denis said.

"We come bearing gifts," added Enda.

Jerry leaned against the furthest wall, keeping his hands where Ciel could see them and remaining very still and quiet.

"Do they know you're here?"

"Doubtful, but that brother of yours is quite attentive. I almost got caught," Enda said. "And he's quite handsome, too, though not as good-looking as you."

"Enda, please," Jerry said quietly. "Stop."

Enda looked apologetic and nodded.

"It's nice of you to come, but I'm not in any condition to do anything except talk for a short while," Ciel replied, closing his eyes. All earlier comfort from when Jaeyline was in his room had vanished into a wary tension.

"I told you we shouldn't have come," Jerry said. He tossed something that hit Ciel in the gut before sliding out of the room.

Ciel opened one eye and looked at the grocery bag on his chest. "He's right about one thing," Ciel said, closing his eye again. "You shouldn't have come."

"But Ciel--"

"Enda, enough," snapped Denis. He set his present on the bed and followed Jerry out of the door. "I hope you get better. There's a mission Felia is taking that I think you might want to look at. She said she'd respect your discussion either way, so make sure you recover."

"I hope you feel better, Ciel," Enda said, before Ciel could hear his soft steps leave the room, too.

Ciel grimaced and rubbed his temples, a headache pounding at his skull. He calmed himself, his breathing and his heartbeat slowing to normal. Carefully, as not to trigger any of the pain in his body, he leaned up and opened Denis' gift. Inside was a plate full of muffins, one of which had a bit taken out of it.

As if on cue, Denis strode back into the room, snatched up a muffin, and left again.

Ciel smiled wryly as he noticed the muffin Denis had taken was't the one with the bite in it. Ciel opened the box Enda had set down, finding a black fob made of two layers of black silk three inches long. This fob... was made to be attached to a gun. Ciel felt a small stab of regret for sending everyone out of his house as he set the fob down on he bed. Then he addressed the bag sitting next to him. Inside were compresses, bandages, antibiotics, and painkillers, all the special prescribed meds that Ishida had told him to take if he ever met his mother again.

Ciel smiled only slightly, throwing three of the painkillers into his mouth and washed it down with the liquid antibiotics. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood shakily, his ribs barking in pain as he sucked in a breath because his bruised legs started hurting. Ciel laughed bitterly. He was a wreck.

Ciel moved to the steps and slowly walked down the stairs until he was leaning against the banister on the second floor, breathing hard but proud of himself for making it that far.

"Oh! What are you doing up! You should go back!" Jaeyline chided, hurrying over to him and taking some of his weight.

"I want to be down here. Just drop me off at the couch," Ciel said. "Please. I can't be acting like an invalid while my boss is visiting my home."

Jaeyline bit her lip, then relented, guiding Ciel to the couch. She went back into the kitchen, returning with Laksa and a bowl of soup with a couple slices of bread.

"How are you feeling?" Laksa asked, sitting on the mirror sofa across from Ciel and Jaeyline.

Ciel's brows creased as he noticed Laksa being guarded and careful. Had the years apart really destroyed the friendship? Then again, it was a friendship by a boy desperate for love and another boy's good intentions. But it saddened Ciel to see his brother was so distant. "I'm fine," he replied.

"You're like a woman," said Laksa.

"Hmm?"

"Whenever women say they're fine, they're really not. I can tell something's bothering you. We have the same facial expressions."

Ciel sighed a laugh. How funny. "I'm hurting a bit, but I'm really fine. Trust me." Ciel sipped some soup from the bowl.

"...Listen, Ciel. I just want to say I'm sorry," Laksa said after a few minutes of silence. "I'm sorry for running away. I'm sorry for leaving you there. I'm sorry for never having the courage to face you again until you got hurt. I should have either never seen you to begin with or brought you with me. I'm a horrible little brother."

Ciel looked at Laksa, stunned by his sudden outburst. Then he stood shakily and crossed the two steps to sit next to Laksa. "There's no reason for you to apologize, Laksa. It's all my fault. You don't know how good it is to see you safe and healthy," Ciel said, taking Laksa's hand. "Why would you ever blame yourself for my choices?"

"I should have done something instead of leaving you alone with her! I should have made Dad send people to bring you. I should have stayed by your side," said Laksa.

"No, no. Listen, Laksa. I told you to leave. What kind of big brother would I be if I put my little brother in danger? Who cares if you left all those years ago? You're here now, when I needed you the most."

"You don't hate me?"

"Of course not! I want to smack you upside the head for eating all my food, but why would I be mad at you for keeping yourself safe? It's my job to worry about you."

"I don't understand how you're not angry with me," Laksa said. "My own mother beat me when I told her I went to see you, then beat me again when I said I left without you."

Ciel's blood went cold. "You are my only little brother, Laksa. How could I hate you?"

Laksa started crying, like he was back to being that small boy who'd ran at Ciel the first day they met and thrown his arms around him.

Ciel pulled Laksa close, stroking his hair as he cried against Ciel's chest. "Everything is okay, Laksa. I love my little brother back then, and I love him now, even though he's such a grown up and mature man. Will you accept me as I am and trust me once more?"

"Of course!" Laksa cried.

Ciel wiped away a tear from Laksa's cheek and wrapped his arms around his brother. "Don't cry, Laksa. We're finally together again. What is there to cry about?"

"Thank you, Ciel. Thank you, big Brother."

Ciel just tightened his hold around his baby brother, blinking back tears himself. "Everything will be okay, Laksa. Just never disappear on me again. We're together again, after all those years. Please, don't be sad."

Laksa pulled away and smiled brightly. "I won't be sad as long as you're still here, Big Brother!"

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Laksa Andrew Jackson - M - 25 years old

Likes: memories of his brother, cooking, international travel, singing.

Dislikes: Acasia Michaelis, being ignored, smell of burnt food, picture being taken.

Strengths: singing [famous pop star], never gets jet lag, responding to texts quickly, photography.

Weaknesses: playing instruments, musicians block in the middle of writing lyrics, allergic to coffee and perfume-wearing girls.