Title: Dog Day
Itachi Uchiha was many things. Quiet, self-assured, intelligent, socially introverted, and possessing a well of patience.
Okay, scratch that last one; his patience was not one of his best traits. Especially when it concerned a certain flashy blonde team member of his that didn't know When. To. Shut. Up.
He supposed that he had only himself to blame, though, about his current predicament; seated quietly in his chair and avoiding Deidara's visible eye as he probed the Uchiha genius's brain for answers to his lapse in judgement two weeks ago.
'And my nail polish still shows no signs of wear and tear,' Itachi thought absently before leveling a Sharingan-enhanced glare at the explosives expert that would usually have anyone and everyone running in terror. Deidara didn't even flinch. For once.
"C'mon Itachi! There's no reason to be so secretive! Who's this chick you talked about?" the blonde wheedled. Deidara was determined to get an answer to his satisfaction this time. Normally he wouldn't bother, seeing as he absolutely despised Itachi Uchiha; he had no sense of the beauty of art whatsoever! Not to mention his distant attitude had the tendency to rub the Stone missing-nin the wrong way.
'A girl, on the other had? And one that approached the bastard at that? It's too good to pass up!'
"There is no 'chick' as you like to put it, Deidara. Now stay out of my face," Itachi replied in a monotone, flicking a card down into the pile and huffing, "one nine."
Kisame winced in preparation and shuffled the cards in his hand. It was usually a good sign when his partner's voice lost all emotion and he narrowed his eyes in a specific way that fists would soon start flying and furniture would begin smoking or burst into flame. "Just leave him alone, Deidara. You're going to get beaten up if you keep it up." Was it him or was it getting hot in here?
"Fine, fine," the blonde huffed, glancing at his cards and smirking slyly at the Uchiha sitting next to him, "Three tens."
There was silence for a moment as each person took a look at their cards.
The former Stone-nin couldn't resist one last jibe, "Was she at least hot? Did you even get a name out of her?"
Itachi's cards bent dramatically and he seethed in anger. Pulling back, he hauled off and let his fist do the talking this time.
"YOU PUNCHED ME!" Deidara howled, rearing back and scooting away from Itachi.
"You deserved it. Now stay out of things that do not concern you!" Itachi hissed, jumping up and stalking away angrily. His cards fluttered to the floor innocently, singed crescent marks where his nails had been.
"You know, Deidara. I warned you," Kisame suddenly stated, standing from the table and following his young partner to make sure nothing was caught on fire due to the Uchiha's explosive temper. Usually Itachi didn't let things get to him. On the other hand, Deidara had been interrogating the Sharingan user for nearly fourteen days. Anyone was bound to snap at some point or another.
"His patience is getting better, believe it or not," the shark-man commented offhandedly to Hidan as he exited and swept upstairs, putting out small fires here and there.
"... I call bullshit," Hidan announced, grinning manically at no one in particular.
Kakuzu rolled his eyes, threw down his cards, and gathered up his things, muttering under his breath about not being able to concentrate when there was too much screaming going on.
"Agreed. Now stop whining and get back over here, Deidara. I hate waiting," Sasori seconded, running a hand through his red hair and organizing his cards again as the blonde stumbled back over to the table. the explosions expert slumped into his chair and murderously snatched the pile of cards in the middle of the table, muttering obscenely under his breath.
"Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu are all out," Zetsu stated offhandedly, glancing at the empty spaces forlornly while his less savory side continued, "and it's Leader-sama's turn."
The orange-haired Akatsuki member nodded and laid down three cards, "Three Jacks." The table remained silent for a moment before Hidan grinned again.
"Bullshit!"
'It may be a good idea to send Itachi for more supplies,' Konan thought idly, glancing at their stash of junk food in calculation before nodding to herself, 'I think we'll choose a less volatile card game too next time. Maybe Old Maid...'
"Doesn't anyone care that I'm going to have a black eye from this?" Deidara wailed in his usual dramatic fashion. Sasori actually rolled his eyes before saying "No" in a decisive manner.
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