Mental struggle

Douluo Mainland

Two years later.

Shrek City

In the entire continent, Shrek City is one of the biggest cities and contains a population of more than two million. Shrek Academy governs this city with independent power that does not pay taxes to any empire. The biggest attraction of the city is the Shrek Academy, but it is also an important economic center for the three great empires. It was regarded as the Douluo Continent's number one city.

Shrek City is divided into the inner and outer city. Shrek Inner City was the original Shrek City before it started expanding during the time of Huo Yuhao. The Inner city is now a part of Shrek Academy. It became its Outer Court. Only those who are granted permission from the Academy are allowed in.

In contrast to the hustle and bustle of the outer city, in the inner city, silence reigned. Stores lined the sides of a wide street paved with black brick. The architecture of every store was ancient, and they were mostly made of wood. The architecture resembled that of Heaven Dou City, but the buildings weren't as closely concentrated.

A tanned kid with a handsome built and yellow eyes was silently looking at the gate of the glorious Shrek Academy.

He stared at the gate for a few minutes before going to the opposite direction.

His destination seemed to be the high rise tower that could be seen from anywhere in the Shrek City.

It was the Spirit Pagoda Headquarters that was situated at the Shrek City.

"But why is it so far away from the Academy and Tang Sect?"

The kid mumbled while taking a taxi to the Headquarters.

The tanned kid was Fan Lin and he had come to the Shrek City to fulfill his ambition, at least a part of it.

"It's been 6 years since I came here. Time sure passes really fast."

Fan Lin thought while looking at the tower that was higher than the clouds. It was the Spirit Pagoda Headquarters.

Fan Lin looked at the fast paced moving environment of the Shrek City as the taxi took him to the Spirit Pagoda Headquarters in an two hours.

It was that far away.

'I should have taken the train.'

It has been two years since his emotional outbreak and many things have changed.

He didn't live in the Eastsea City.

Obvious thing.

He didn't live in the Shrek City as well.

Fan Lin came out of the taxi as it dropped him quite a distance away from the Spirit Pagoda Headquarters.

He chose to walk while pondering on the things that he knew of the Pagoda from the story.

The Spirit Pagoda's headquarters was the tallest building in the continent.

In fact, the Federation had rules forbidding buildings with greater height as a show of respect.

If the Tang Sect was the most mysterious organization, and Shrek Academy the most illustrious, then the most powerful was undoubtedly the Spirit Pagoda.

With their artificial spirit soul technology, the Spirit Pagoda was able to gather a horde of researchers, powerful soul masters, and amass riches on par with that of a nation. Its influence was undeniable in the Federation.

In the Federation's parliament, seven of the 108 seats were taken by the Spirit Pagoda.

This didn't even account for parliamentary members under their influence.

An interesting array of buildings surrounded the tower. Both ancient and modern buildings stood side-by-side, an odd sight.

"That's all I can remember."

Fan Lin said to himself.

"That's all I can remember?!"

He repeated his sentence but with confusion in his voice this time.

"This does not instill any confidence in me. Forget it, I don't have any choice."

Fan Lin slowly stated as he reached the lobby of the Spirit Pagoda.

He took out a badge from his storage soul device and looked at the name engraved in it.

Qiangu Dongfeng.

"That man claimed to the current President of the Spirit Pagoda. Should I proceed?"

"Let's toss, heads and I will proceed, tails and I will retreat."

Fan Lin tossed the coin and looked at the results.

It was heads.

"..."

"Forward it is then. Hope I don't burst out."

Fan Lin was sceptical of his choice.

To be precise, he was doubtful if the choices he made till now were even right or not.

Two years ago, he had decided to dabble into the world and change it to his liking but without killing (wiping out) humans as much as he could.

He wanted to make sure that his path would not be filled with rivers of blood, just a few buckets were fine.

He decided that but what was he going to do?

He was a 10 year old Level 2 Soul Scholar with the trashy BLUE SILVER GRASS at that time.

His path ahead was non existent to begin with, his path at that exact time were none.

So as he returned to his medical shop, he sat down for a few hours, cleared his mind and thought about what he could do once again.

Join the bigger sects or some big family.

That was the only option that he could think of.

Even after he thought for a week straight, that was the only option that came to his mind.

So he took the option but not before visiting the Skysea city to meet with the big shot that was sending his men to kill Fan Lin everyday.

"It was a weird memory. I wiped them all out huh. Maybe some people were left. Who knows."

Fan Lin did the second most stupid but brave thing in this new life.

He met with the Big shot and poisoned him with his strongest poison along with all his men and the city.

Fan Lin poisoned the whole city!

If not for the fact that he finally gave up on his promise and used his old poison making skills to exclude the innocent, elderly and children, the whole city would not even have corpses to give their prayers to.

It was that powerful of a poison and to top it off, he even acted as a victim and safely got out of the situation without any problems.

He returned to the Glorybound town and brought a small house besides the protagonist's house and did nothing for the next two months.

He needed to clear away all the things that he didn't want to do.

To use his poisons. To use his old world's poison. Lastly, to kill.

He didn't want to kill now. He had both grown tired and exhausted with the killings.

Anymore than that and he will break and become a slaughter machine that will just kill.

So he spent the next six months like that in the Glorybound town.

"Don't ask why the two became six? I really needed a lot of time on my mental health."

After he had calmed his mind, he first went on a small tour around the three countries and their Alliances, mainly Skysea Alliance, Earthrock Alliance and Silvassa Alliance and brought and learnt about every herbs that entered his eyes.

He did that for the next four months and finally stopped the Glorybound town once again.

This was the only town where he felt safe due to the fact that the protagonist used to live here.

In his small home in the Glorybound town.

Fan Lin sat down on the ground and took out the small box which he used to keep his poisons entact.

The same box that from which he took the poisons that killed the middle aged man and the big shot.

But this time, Fan Lin looked at the rows of toxins in the box and picked the whole compartment to reveal another compartment underneath the toxins.

On this layer were just two vials, he looked at the vials as emotions of all kinds filled his mind once again but this time, he didn't let his emotions get the better of him.

He supressed his emotions and took out the two vials.

"Half Energy Serum and the psuedo Energy Serum."

"Both of these were the dream of my past life that I couldn't complete due to the limited potenty of the plants in my previous world."

Fan Lin took a deep look at them and drank both of them at the same time.

He had created them years ago in his medical in the Eastsea City but since he never had any use for them, he kept them as a prized possession of his.

Now he needed them.

Half Energy Serum and Psuedo Energy Serum, both of this medication was made for one simple purpose.

To allow a normal human the ability to digest anything and absorb it a pure energy.

Although a normal person would die if he take that.

The Energy Serums were never made for normal people to began with. Gloomy Forest(Fan Lin) and Chunnibyou (Mark Evans) decided to create it for their Captain.

His body was the one that the serum was based on but this knowledge is for another books.

Fan Lin wanted the Energy body but he didn't drink the Half energy serum and the Psuedo Energy Serum for that.

Both of them were incomplete, having faults that he checked with precision.

But then why did he take them?

The answer to that was really simple, he took them as a supplement to survive the actual Energy Serum or the Complete Energy Serum that he created in the four months that he had been wandering and learning.

This was the only way, that he could think of, that would propel him into the eyes of the hidden sects and big families.

He wanted to join them and for that, he needed to be special than others.

But Fan Lin had a major problem in that, he didn't want to use his poison creation speciality, nor did he wanted his medicine creation speciality to leak out.

The incident in the Eastsea City was a prime example of things that he wanted to avoid.

The last special thing that made him different from others was his fake Dark Soul master status.

Using that identity is basically screaming at the whole world to behead me."

And except these so called specifications, Fan Lin had nothing in his name.

So he is going to create a fake special ability for himself.

That ability is the Energy body.

'I could say that it's a Martial Soul mutation and all to the Tang Sect and with the Energy body, I should be able to have the resources to cultivate at a faster rate, maybe the Energy body could help me in cultivation as well. But whatever the reason, Energy Body is a great ability to show since it will augment my physique, if my creation is right then it will grant me greater physique, and I could also take some other supplements to increase my poison tolerance to the peak of what this body can achieve.'

'With just these two, I could either be a special entry to the hidden sects/families or operating table."

"I really hope it's not the operating table or I would have to massacre everyone once again.'

"For despite the fact that I don't know if my poisons will work on Titled Douluos or not, I not for a fact that it does work on Soul Sage and most of the people aren't that strong."

"Please oh divine power, don't be the second option. I really don't want to be on a run for killing."

"Should I not show my higher poison tolerance? Let's just show my Energy body and blame my cultivation on it. That way, I could get the resources and catch upto the kid's my age."

Fan Lin thought while looking at the ceiling, his body sprawled around the ground.

It was the effect of the Energy Serum that he took, now he could not move his body for at least a few hours, the only thing he could do was to silently bear the pain as his body was changing on a cellular level to support the transfer of normal digestive system to Energy body.

He looked at the ceiling and continued to think, he could not even close his eyes as he had completely lost control of his body.

"Am I doing the right thing?"

"You know, interfering in a destiny that's already written."

"What if my actions shatter everything that should happen, completely destroying this world."

"I looked at everything in the past four months, not everyone on the street a bad person, there were good, innocents, miser, hungry, laughing, smiling, giggling, happy, some sad, some angry and some in just the best moment of their lives."

"Do I have any right to destroy any of that? I contributed nothing to their life, nor do I think I ever will, is it alright of me to decide their lives? To brand them as sinners just because a really insignificant few of them did something bad?"

"Should I end the wrong people then?"

"But the question is the same, what right do I have to decide that?"

"What guarantee do I have that my actions will never cause an end to this world or to the happiness and peaceful life of the people?

"None. I don't have any guarantee, nor can I promise to repent?"

"I don't have the ability to do that. I can just destroy everything, recreating is impossible for me."

"What do I do?"

"Why am I having this thoughts now of all time?"

"Why can't I just live as I want to?"

"But my ways are going to destroy lives; thousands of lives."

"Why am I sure that people would die in anything that I do?"

"But isn't the history a proof of my choices?"

"What do I do?"

"What do I do?"

"What if...?

"What do I do?"

"What do I do?"

"What do I do?"

"What do I do?"

"What.."

The process of the Energy body transformation took more than 18 hours and in that time, Fan Lin had a mental breakdown as his thoughts, his intentions and his raw hate for humans mixed into each other making him question every action of his.

His past months endeavour that helped to stabilize his mind was slowly failing as his mind was simply being torn apart by his own conscience.

The Energy body transformation was affecting his mind as well.

"Calm down."

Just as the moment where Fan Lin lost all his mental consciousness, a voice came to his ears and with it came a memory of the past.

*Flashback*

"Calm down."

I looked at the owner of the voice whose face didn't match his voice as he stood at a hands distance away from me.

"You were warning others of the possible dangers of my blood and now you succumbed to it as well."

The voice said as my eyes looked at it's owner, our Captain. Deep fear gripped my body as I realised just how close death was to me.

"Your body is showing unusual signs once again."

"Calm down."

He said while gently placing a finger on my chest, crushing it completely!

"... My strength increased once again. Sorry."

I tried to look at that face that said those words as my weak and destroyed body fall to the ground.

Captain bit his finger and fed a droplet of his blood to me.

His blood healed my body as I looked at his face that said the next words that shook me to the core.

"You still need to live for a little longer. So live."

He said with a small smile on his face but I knew it was all a fake, an act that he put on.

For I knew that the man in front of me didn't possess any emotions to begin with.

[End of Flashback]

"Gahh"

Fan Lin woke up from his deep slumber.

A haunting memory became his dream. He wanted to leave it so much that he woke up from his slumber.

"Heart- Soul poison. I was inflicted with the Heart-soul poison. That's why I died. That's why he was behaving weirdly, Chunnibyou and Know it all were affected by it as well."

"That's why I was acting weird till now. But how did the effects of the Heart soul poison affected me in this new life. The effects of the poison remains with the body and never more."

"This doesn't make any sense. Can the Heart-soul poison really affect the soul? This doesn't make sense."

"Nothing is making sense..."

"Is it something related to Captain's blood? His body was an enigma to began with, what if he is really some sort of clthulhu like creature as Net geek stated."

"That is just plain stupid."

"What was I doing?"

"Ahh I took the Complete Energy Serum with my normal body. The results? I am alive."

"... So adding both the supplementary serums, my chances of survival still didn't cross a perfect 100 percentage."

*Sigh*

"Thankfully I somehow got that haunting dream and woke up from my slumber something that the Energy Serum put me into."

"But why was I even having those thoughts at the first place? Was the powerlessness of my body at that time that drew me into that mental struggle with the my conscience and consciousness?"

"Or was it a side effect of the Energy Serum? But that should not be possible as it should just affect the digestive system and the cellular tissues of my body to convert it's energy transportation system.

"It should not have any effects on my mental state, maybe it somehow affected the nervous system but that still doesn't explain it."

"It could also be outer interference as well."

Fan Lin thought of all the possibilities and each and every possibility made things far more weirder that it already was.

A few minutes later.

"Forget it. I will ponder over it later as my mastery over my skills rose. For now it is just wasting my time over nothing."

"What time is it by the way?"

Fan Lin came to a sudden realisation and immediately looked at his wall clock.

"Aaan, this one is not helping, let me check the date as well."

Fan Lin took out his portable TV, set it up and tuned in to the Federation Network.

This one was the most accurate in following the time, it was the Federation one and only federal owned network.

"Hmm, so 18 hours have passed."

Fan Lin looked at his body and then towards the floor. It was all clean, no internal filth or scum, no sweat and blood, nothing, everything was clean.

"Was I sleeping in the AC or is the ventilation of this small house really good? Why isn't my body covered with impurities that came out during the Energy Serum process?"

Fan Lin took one look at his self and knew the answer right away.

Because no inner impurities, sweat or blood came out of his body to begin with. Nothing came out, hence nothing was there on his body.

"So my body didn't go any internal vessel cleansing and all huh. Forget it, I just need to look at the benefits of the my Energy body and match it with my calculations to see how much did I got right."

"I am delaying a lot of things for the future today. Forget it. Ahh another one."

"I think I should just sleep a little. I still need to find a sugar sect/family for me. For now, let's sleep. This new body might not feel tired but my mind seems to be."

"Just to be on the safer side, let's take a few supplements to heal and recover my body to the peak, although I don't know what the peak is."

Fan Lin got up from the ground, took out the box of toxins, pick a new health supplementary serum vial and threw it in his mouth and kept the box in his storage soul device.

He went to sleep in a few seconds.

In his small room, Fan Lin was sleeping like a log with nary a fear of anything happening to him.

He didn't need to, Glorybound town was a peaceful place now.

Fan Lin slept in peace, completely unaware of the fact that his chest had a small wound, a wound on the same place where his captain crushed his chest completely in his dream and his past life.

...

Read this chapter on your discretion as you will be confronted with new information that you have no idea or knowledge about.

And then you will say, I should have binge read it, I don't understand most of it.

Sorry for that. Really sorry for that.

Thanks for your support by the way.

Next Chapter on Saturday.

And get ready for the next