Reed

I wasn't mad at Simone, but at the way I always made her feel whenever I was around. It was like she couldn't forget her past, and always assumed that she isn't as important as I say she is to me. I do help the pack when they need it, I just don't hover over them like a mother hen. It wasn't my way and they knew it. They accepted it. They respected my wishes and did their thing, only calling upon me for emergencies or celebrations.

I ran until I could run no more, lasting hours in the forest to think, even though I wanted to go back and explain to my mate of why I was spending every minute of every day with her. Couldn't she see I was trying to be the opposite of her mother's stories? Couldn't she see I wanted to love her like a mate should? Didn't she know I cared? I thought that after last night and this afternoon, she'd have understood by now…

It was late into the night when I decided to head home. I was hoping she'd be asleep by now so that I didn't have to see her fear or confusion. When I reached the front door, I opened it and paused. The tv was still on, paused in the same spot it was when I left. The lights in the kitchen were on and the house felt empty. Worried, I ran upstairs to the bedroom only to see the bed empty. "No!" I hiss.

Turning, I went to all the other bedrooms to find nothing. She wasn't in my office either. Raking my hair with my fingers, I spun in circles in the hallway, panicking that she left. "Thrain! Corey!" I yelled through the link.

"What's going on?" Thrain asked.

"Please tell me one of you know where Simone is at!"

"I haven't seen her," Corey announced.

"I didn't see her come out of the house, nor did I hear any signs of a struggle," Thrain informed.

Shaking my head, I ran downstairs to see if she was hiding in the changing room, but nothing. No clothes there to tell me she had shifted, and I didn't find her anywhere else. Not even the bathroom. "I can't find her! If I can't find her, something is seriously wrong!"

"Let me go check her old pack," Corey offered.

"I'll check around the territory," Thrain said. I sat on a couch and put my head in my hands, ripping at my hair as if that was going to help me find her.

It was hours later, dawn, before either of my friends spoke. "Nothing, not even her scent. No one suspicious has entered the territory either."

"I snuck into the pack house without Roniston knowing and up to her room, but she wasn't there or anywhere near. No scent. Nothing."

Tears built in my eyes and I tried to get a hold of myself, only to throw a lamp at the wall. Running upstairs, I slam my fists into the wall, plaster raining down on me. A small sound caught my ears and I looked up. Above me, something moved. I furrowed my brows and looked at the ceiling, not understanding why I should be hearing anything from up there.

I heard a gasp then caught sight of the hidden door. I yank it open, climb up the ladder and sigh in relief. "Simone, come here."

She pressed up against the wall, shaking her head, tears in her eyes.

"Come here. I am not going to hurt you," I say gently, but her eyes widen, and her body starts to tremble. Slowly getting up and into the space, I crawled towards her. "Simone?"

I reach for her foot, but she screamed. I jerk back, shocked. She had never screamed before. Just as quickly as it came though, it stopped and she curled into a ball, shaking violently. I just barely heard her whimper, "Not again!"

"Bring the pack doctor to the house," I order Corey. "Tell him to bring something to calm Simone down."

"What's going on?"

"I don't know, but she screamed when I got near her."

"Shit!"

"Simone, I'm just going to take you downstairs, okay?" I say, but she screams again when I reach for her. I search her body to find she isn't harmed at all, but her face is stained with tears: new and old. "Simone, can you follow me out of here?"

She shook her head quickly, curling tighter.

"Alpha?" I hear the doctor.

Giving Simone one last glance, I climb down the ladder to meet him. "Something is wrong."

"Explain."

"When she came here yesterday, she feared me, but not terrified. She at least calmed down after a minute or two. But now she's screaming and refusing to come down."

"Does she say anything?"

"She repeats the words 'not again' over and over."

The doctor nodded and carefully climbed the ladder, only to come back down. "Well, the first thing we need to do is get her out of there. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was having a panic attack. She's pushed herself so far into the corner, I'm not even sure if I can get a needle into her and not be thrown across the room easily."

I wince. "I can't touch her though without her screaming."

"Hmm." He thinks for a moment, then says, "Does she have anything familiar to her? An object or something?"

"A book."

"Can you grab it?"

I go into the bedroom and grab her journal from under the bed, then return. "She writes in it and seems to cherish it more than anything. It's the only thing she brought from her old pack."

"Why don't you go up and see if she'll take it?"

Hesitating, I do as he says, climbing up the ladder and looking at my mate. She sees me and her shaking intensifies. "Simone?" I say, but she hides her face. "Simone, I have something you might want." I slid the book towards her a little and she looks up at the sound.

"N-no!" she cries, finding an object and throwing it at her journal. "I-I can't look at that!"

"Why not?"

She doesn't answer and goes back to hiding her face in her legs, sobbing, and shaking. Sighing, I grab the book and climb back down, shaking my head at the doctor. "And she won't let you near?" he asks.

"Not without getting worse."

He bites his lip and closes his eyes. "I really didn't want to do this…"

"Do what?"

He pulls out a dart gun with it already loaded. "If you can't get close than you better have a good aim. Go for her arm or neck, nowhere else will work. You have three shots."

"I told her I wouldn't hurt her, though."

"She's not in her right mind, and you are going to have to eat your words because if you're going to help her, you're going to have to hurt her a little."

"I can't. She won't trust me if I do. I'm trying to get her to trust me."

The doctor sighed. "She isn't going to come out any time soon and will probably end up hurting herself more than you will by injecting a dart or two. They won't put her to sleep, only make her relax enough so we can easily get her down here. She's not going to let us right now."

I run my hands through my hair, unsure.

"Think about it this way," he added, putting a hand on my shoulder. "If you do hurt her, you're saving her from doing something that will scare her even more, and she might even thank you for it later."

I was doubtful with Simone's way of seeing me but took the dart gun and climbed the ladder. Simone wasn't trembling as bad now and I only heard soft whimpers. One of her arms was in sight, but her neck was covered by her shoulders and head, so I aimed for her upper right arm, praying I am not dooming the one beautiful thing I just found. I shot and she screamed out in pain.

Cringing, I lowered enough to hand the gun back to the doctor before climbing up and into the small space. When she looked up, I saw betrayal and hurt in her eyes, and instantly felt the blood drain from my face. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the broken female before me, hoping desperately she'd let me explain, hoping I didn't just do something I'd regret.

But my hopes were washed away with her next words. "Stay away from me…"

"Simone—"

She shook her head. "No! No, just stay away!"

Sighing, I looked down, unable to think of any way to explain my reasons to her. I knew she wasn't in the mind to listen to me but hearing her say the words to go away hurt more than a bullet – and those fucking hurt!

I tried again. "Simone, please listen to me."

"I don't want to! You lied to me!" Her sobs became louder than ever until she said, "I hate you!"