Honeyed

When I blearily open my eyes the next morning, all I can see is Virgil's pale red eyes watching me. I crack a small smile. "Impatient for me to wake up?"

"You've been awake," he replies, slightly accusingly. "I was going to wake you, but then I remembered that day in the library."

"I was only technically awake," I mumble. "I just like to stay in that sleepy zone a while." I pull him to me and hold him close. "It's comfortable. Just warm, and soft, and nice…" I let my eyes flutter closed again as he squeezes me tightly back.

"Well...now I don't want to get up anymore," he mumbles.

"Mmmm." I sigh into his hair. "Did you not sleep well?"

"I did," he replies, "but I realized how little time I've actually had with you."

"Oh." I blush a little. "Well, it's your own fault."

"Not always," he replies defensively. "I blame you for last time."

At that, I pull away to look him in the face. "Oh? Should I not kiss you, then?" I tease.

"N-No," he stutters, turning pink. "Don't be cruel…"

"Cruel? When have I ever been cruel?" I ask.

"You haven't," he replies, eyes darting to the side. "Don't start now."

"I won't," I tell him gently. "I'm not that kind of person."

His red gaze comes back to rest on mine. "But will you stay that way?"

"What...do you mean?"

"The others...what if they hurt you?"

"No one has that intention," I say, but his worry only grows deeper. "I'm not afraid of getting hurt, Virgil."

"You should be," he says seriously. "They're not harmless. Especially Lucien, he likes to play with people."

"I know. But I didn't mean that I don't think they'll hurt me. I meant that I'm not afraid to be in pain," I reply.

"Do you...want to be in pain?" he asks seriously. I look away, but I can still feel his eyes drilling into me.

"...No."

"Really?" He comes in closer, making it harder for me to avoid his gaze. "Sometimes it seems like you crave it."

I meet Virgil's gaze squarely. "I'm not afraid of pain. I'm afraid of not feeling anything at all. So yes, sometimes I guess I do want it. Over the alternative."

"Hmmm." He cups my cheek as he examines me. "Does the Council know this?"

"I…" frown a little, thinking. "I don't know...why?"

"If they need to be convinced that you've been tamed, it needs to be in a realistic way. If you avoid going numb, they won't believe you've broken if you act that way." He's stroking my cheek thoughtfully, eyes slightly narrowed.

"I...suppose it's safe to assume they know my personality," I reply. "But...what will I do then?" I try not to let the desperation creep into my voice, but Virgil catches it anyway.

He gives me a soft, quietly mad smile. "If we can't break you, we'll train you. We'll put you in a cage made of honey instead of iron."

My chest grows cold. "Virgil," I say quietly, "do you actually intend to do that?"

"I already told you I want to train you," he replies, but I shake my head. 

The coldness in my chest sinks deeper. It's harder to get the words out. "Do you really want me in a cage...inside my own head?" I whisper.

Finally, he breaks out of his thoughts and looks at me with clear eyes. "No, no, no!" He shakes his head vehemently, face crinkling in worry. "No, I want you as you are! I just, the concept…." He shakes his head to clear his thoughts again, and looks me solidly in the eye. "It's just a role. Nothing more."

Still, it doesn't clear away the fear in my chest. Virgil leans his forehead against mine. His voice is much gentler now. "You've got it backwards. I don't ever want you to change. I just-" his voice breaks a little - "I just want to make sure you can stay by my side. I don't want to lose you." After a moment, his serious expression changes to surprise, and I realize I'm crying.

"S-sorry," I mumble as he wipes at my cheeks worriedly. "I, I just can't believe…"

"No, no, no, no!" Virgil squeezes so tight I can barely breathe. "Please, believe me," he says, and I feel him start to tremble.

All I can do is squeeze him back as he breaks into tears himself. "I'm trying," I whisper hoarsely. "I'm trying. But promise me-"

Virgil looks at me with eyes already puffy and red. "I promise I won't change you. I won't hurt you. I promise, I won't, I promise," he shudders.

I nod fervently and we hold each other for a while longer as our tears soon dry up. After a moment of silence, sniffling and wiping at our eyes, I giggle and brush my thumb under his eye. 

"Look at us," I giggle, "crying like a pair of fools this early in the morning."

Virgil nods too, slowly breaking into a small smile. "It's not that early, though," he giggles, rubbing at one eye.

"You-" I giggle, "Your eyes get so red so fast."

He frowns. "My eyes are red."

"No!" I laugh, pushing at his shoulder. "Around your eyes, I mean."

"Oh," he says sheepishly. "Right." 

I plant a kiss on his cheek and he smiles back at me.

Right at that moment, my stomach grumbles with a pang of hunger. "Ahh, I need to eat," I whisper, curling up in the covers.

"Soup?" Virgil asks. I don't really want recovery soup right now, but his face is so simple and sincere, I don't want to break his mood.

"Sure," I nod. "With miso."

He rolls his eyes as if to say, Obviously, and leaves the room to fetch it for me. Somehow I think I won't be leaving this room today, I think to myself with a smile.

In the meanwhile, I try to dress myself in one of the kimono. I look for the cotton yukata at first, but then I remember it's in my room. The neatly folded stacks of silk kimono suddenly seem much more daunting. But then one catches my eye that I haven't seen him wear. It's a lovely deep green, with shadowy trees edged by a soft glow along the hem. I run my hands over the pattern for a moment, admiring the details and the texture. 

It has a nice weight just from putting it on my shoulders. I struggle for a little while getting the length right, and tie it off, but after this point is the obi… I sigh and stare down at the burgundy obi I chose. I have no idea how to tie it. And it seems way too long, at that! After a few minutes of struggling, I end up kneeling on the floor, trying to figure out how to wrap the length just right, with just enough for the knot, and trying not to crease the thing in the process.

The door swings open in front of me, and I look up with a pained expression. "I need your help…" I begin, but Virgil doesn't even blink as he stares down at me. In seconds his cheeks turn bright pink, and his hands start to go slack-

"Ahh, the soup!" I cry, and lunge forward to steady it in his hands. He lets go entirely, so I just take it from him. I can feel myself turning red just from the way he's still staring down at me. "Uhh...Virgil…"

"You should…" he gulps. "You should eat."

"Help me up…" I mumble. "I don't want to spill…"

With an unusually hesitant touch, Virgil slips one hand under the soup and one arm around me to help me move to his low table. I hide my face in the soup as I drink it down as quickly as possible.

"You...forgot to wear the juban," Virgil says in a strained voice.

The what? Oh...the underclothes. I just keep drinking, hiding my blazing cheeks.

"You did just forget, right?" His voice sounds a little odd, and I peek at him over my bowl. He's trembling slightly.

"I wanted to try and dress myself for you," I admit, setting aside the now-empty bowl. "But-"

 I don't get the chance to finish my sentence as he lunges onto me, covering my mouth with a hungry kiss. "Mmmm!"

He squeezes me so tightly I can barely breathe. "Adelaide," he whimpers, "I can do this now, right?"

"Uh, I-mmmm…" He smothers me in another kiss before I can respond fully.

"Please," he whimpers, "say yes..."

I don't need words. I wrap my arms around him instead, pulling him closer. Eagerly, he climbs over me, half-sitting on my lap as he devours me again and again. His mouth dances over my lips, my neck, my collarbone, as he hungrily seeks out any inch of me he can find. It's all I can do to hold onto him as I follow suit, tasting his soft skin in return. 

Virgil twitches when I run my tongue along the line of his neck, and he pulls at his collar reflexively. I smile against his collarbone and tug slowly on one side of his kimono, pulling it down his shoulder. He twitches and moans the moment my fingers brush against his skin, but he can't quite wrest his arm free from his loose sleeve. Frustrated, he wraps his legs around my hips, his other arm still holding us flush. But the tighter he squeezes, the more I have to crane up to meet him. I brace my arms behind him and push him down onto the mat instead. He lets out a gasp that I soon smother with my kiss, and pull the other side of his kimono down. Desperately, he tries to free his arm, but the sleeve is stuck underneath him.

I wonder…?

I close my hands around his wrists, forcing his arms straight against the floor. He looks at me, and struggles slightly, until a look of understanding dawns on his face and he flushes deep crimson. He stops struggling, and instead wraps his legs around my hips again, trembling as he squeezes.

I reach down and untie the sash still holding my kimono closed. His eyes flutter as he watches me, and he somehow turns even redder. I don't even feel embarrassed anymore, watching his reaction, all twitching and shuddering in anticipation under me.

I tilt my head to the side. "Virgil," I tease, "were you hoping I'd do something more interesting with this?"

"Yes," he breathes, and I feel the fire rise in my chest. I hadn't expected him to say as much, even though his eyes are saying plenty. I can't stop myself from leaning down to kiss him, and his hands slip into my kimono, running, dancing, swirling over my back. This time, I'm the one shuddering under his touch, and we both stiffen and sigh when my bare chest meets his. With my skin pressed to his, I can feel the strength that lurks in his body, usually hidden by stiff, heavy fabric.

But his obi is still tight around his waist. I get an idea. I tease his lips with my tongue as I pull the sash forward, and wrap it around his eyes. He lets out a soft little cry, but doesn't fight me.

Now I can sit up and look down at him, his pale chest heaving. I run a finger down him and he jerks. Immediately he pulls my hand to his mouth and laps at my fingers. With my other hand, I trace his side lightly, enough to make him shiver. He clings to my arm, pulling at me desperately.

"Adelaide," Virgil whimpers. "Don't tease me…"

"Why not?" I giggle. "Are you going to stop me?" It's been a while since I've done something like this. I forgot how powerful it makes me feel. I free my hands to start untying his obi. His breath hitches in his throat, and he pushes his thighs against mine to buck up into the air. I take the opportunity to undo the knot in the back, and then force his hips back down. "Be good, now," I purr, and he nods vigorously. God, it feels so good to finally be in control for once.

"Hmmm…" I pull his hands together onto his chest. I don't want him to be too limited, but the idea is just too tempting. He moans and bites his lip as I truss up his wrists, just tightly enough that he can't slip his hands through. As I do, I move my legs to straddle him instead. There's still fabric between us, but it would be easy to move it away. 

He knows this, too, and presses himself into me with a longing moan. "Adelaide, I didn't know you, you liked thiiii….." His voice trails off as I stroke his chest again. "I thought, I thought you were a maso-ah!" He squeaks a little when I press my nails into his tender skin. "B-but I'm not, so be gentle…"

I chuckle at his and lean down to give him a light kiss. He lifts his head towards me, holding my lips with his for as long as he can. "I will be," I promise quietly, "but you'll let me play with you a little, won't you? As my own little 'revenge'." He's already nodding before I finish the sentence, and shivers when I chuckle against his neck.

"Ohhh, Adelaide," he moans, "I had hoped, but I thought-" He jumps as I bite the muscle of his shoulder- "I thought, it was being too optimistic, to think you might, you might...mmmmm…" When I suck at his neck, he responds in kind, lapping his tongue against my shoulder. But he can't quite reach. He moans sadly when I pull away. Blindfolded, tied up, lying in a pool of fabric, and still blushing all the way to his ears, he is a sight to behold.

"You're beautiful, Virgil," I sigh, and giggle when he flushes deeper, squirming awkwardly. "What, no one's ever complimented you before?"

"It's...it's different when...someone you love says it...." he replies, squirming. I can hear the unasked question left behind this time.

I draw my hand down his cheek. "Virgil...I do love you."