Chapter 6

KIAN'S POV

She still looks so small and fragile.

I promised to always be there for her, but she's scared of the sight of me.

I tried.

I really tried to stay away. But I can't be without her.

Whenever I'm away for too long I feel myself breaking on the inside.

I watch her with them. Miss Emma had said they'd take care of her, no questions asked. I didn't want to give her up, but Miss Emma said this way the only way. It was her best chance. I'd wanted to ask her how she would feel if she had to give up her other half, the missing piece that made you whole.

Her face had told me all I'd needed to know.

She was just as broken.

This had happened before. Miss Emma had done this before.

She didn't need to tell me that she understood my feelings. She knew exactly what I was feeling. We couldn't keep running forever. They would follow us, not Alex, she had said.

So now I could only watch from the outside, teetering on the edge.

But it wasn’t enough for me anymore.

I had stupidly gone to them.

Miss Emma had disappeared. It was better to have no connections so Alex couldn't be found, she had said. Though I know she called on Alex's birthday this year to check on her.

But these people.

They couldn't refuse me.

They knew who I was.

They understood my pain, much to my surprise.

They let me in.

But when I started to run to Alex, my Alex, she had screamed and cried, stopping me in my tracks.

The little boy, close to Alex's age, had stood in front of her and shouted at me to leave.

He knew even then, that she needed protecting. I just wasn't expecting it to be from me.

Alex begins to stir in her sleep, a frown forming as she starts mumbling incoherently.

I sit beside her and brush the hair away from her face.

"Alex."

She begins thrashing and the wetness from her cheeks is not only from her tears.

She's burning up.

I want to be the one to comfort her.

I pull the blankets away, trying to cool her down.

"Alex," I say, leaning close to her face.

Beyond this, I'm helpless. I don't know what to do.

She doesn't flinch at my proximity. Is she even able to wake up?

The tears are falling freely now as she struggles against herself.

"What do I do?"

I don't want to hold her down, but I take hold of her shoulders and shake her as much as I dare.

"Alex," I whisper frantically. "Wake up!"

She continues, never noticing that I'm here with her.

No…

I have no choice.

She needs help. And I can't be the one to give it to her.

"Zero," I shout.

He bolts upright.

"What? What's happening? We under attack?"

He quickly grabs a knife in his half-awake state, and seeing me leaning over Alex, starts charging at me.

I hold my hand up.

"What's wrong with her?"

Zero stops just shy of me.

"Not again…"

He sounds defeated.

"She has a recurring nightmare, though they're more like night terrors. Nothing to do but wait until it passes," he sighs.

Zero suddenly frowns.

I think he believes he has said too much and has only now realised it.

"Why am I even telling you this, bloodsucker?"

"You and I may not see eye to eye, but I'm not here to hurt her. I've been protecting her for a long time."

"Look, Kian," he snaps. "I don't like you; never have, never will."

He huffs and sits on the end of the bed, keeping his eyes on me.

"Lexi doesn't want you around. Why is that so hard to understand? You'd be doing us all a favour by leaving us alone."

I look at the boy. He may only be eleven months older than Alex, but he's mature enough to understand the situation. He's standing up for her, protecting her by her side as I should have been able to. I appreciate his presence for that alone.

"What does she dream about?"

Zero sighs.

"If she wants to tell you, she will. All I'll say is that it has to do with an incident in the past."

An incident. In the past.

It could be any number of things! So much happened to her as a baby.

"I thought she couldn't remember…"

"What?"

"Nothing," I say. "How long has this been going on?"

He shrugs, placing a hand on Alex's head. I resist the urge to rip his arm from its socket.

He's helped her in his own way.

"As long as I can remember. Mum said she had a bad experience. She thinks it's Lexi's mind trying to understand. Me, I think it's her fear playing over and over. I worry it'll drive her mad. She's lasted this long, but even I can't say for sure if she'll be okay. Hopefully Mara will be able to help."

"Mara?"

I raise an eyebrow.

Why did it have to be her?

Of all the people that could help Alex, why had they trusted her?

I had to make sure my emotions didn't show on my face, but I could feel the storm brewing inside.

There were many things I wanted to say to that woman, and none of them were good.

"Family friend."

"I know her."

Zero seems surprised.

"Another time," I wave him off.

He sits at the foot of Alex's bed.

"It's nearly over."

"You can tell?"

I watch Alex thrashing.

"You don't live with her and not know how to recognise when it's ending."

I've missed so much. She never tried to tell me.

"I never knew…"

"How could you, you aren't family."

Don't get angry. Don't get angry.

I'm seething that he was the one by her side all this time—it should've been me. I should be the one to chase away her nightmares. I should be the one comforting her.

Her skin is pale and sweaty. I feel Zero's weight leave the bed. Moments later he returns with a damp towel and places it on her forehead.

In this moment, I hate him.

I hate how much she trusts him.

Alex suddenly begins crying and has clung onto me, burying her head in my chest as she once did before.

My heart races and swells as she hugs me willingly, gripping tightly and digging her fingernails into my shirt.

"Lex, you ok?" Zero says, ruining the moment.

Alex freezes, looks up, shrieks and pushes me away.

I can't see this. It isn't fair. It's like I'm losing her all over again.

I can't take it when she scrambles away, feeling the disappointment and anger flare to life in my chest.

Alex has her back to the wall, and looks for Zero, and do the only thing I can do. I run out of the room slamming the door harshly behind me, snarling only when I know she can't hear me.

***

LEXI POV

For a moment I felt safe, but the reality kicked in when I heard Z's voice further away.

So, who was I clinging to?

Please, let it not be him.

But it was.

Kian.

I couldn’t help myself as I pushed him roughly away.

I had seen that vampire again as he tried to kill me.

What was wrong with me? His kind had messed me up when I was little, caused this trauma that I now faced every day.

The next moments were a blur, but I heard a slam—the door perhaps—before Z was beside me.

"It's okay," he says.

In any other situation, things would've felt different, I'd have believed him. Why now, did I feel I'd made a mistake?