Damn, I Do Have A Heart (Hale)

I didn't see Lev for a while. I was relieved that she seemed to get the message to leave me alone. I'd been alone my whole life, I didn't need someone now to swoop in and try and be a hero.

I was sitting on my bed on the old laptop, the sd card from my camera plugged in. I was looking over the photos from the other day. I only got a few before I was chased off. The ones of the headstones had some value, a few were just too simple and I deleted them. My breath caught when I got to the ones of the wolf - Lev.

I could see her in the eyes, they were Lev's eyes, warm and determined. I grimaced at myself and shut the laptop. I shouldn't be thinking about how her eyes looked, I shouldn't be thinking about her at all. She seemed to be on my mind all the time now. It wouldn't start that way, she'd just slip in.

I needed to take new pictures, ones that wouldn't make me think of her. I could go now, it was only six o'clock, prime time to sneak out since everybody was in the mess hall.

I stood up and packed up my camera bag and changed into blue jeans and a black hoodie, hoping the darker colors would help me blend in when the sunset.

I slipped out of the academy and hailed down a cab.

Before I went into the cemetery I took a quick glance to make sure the groundskeeper wasn't lingering about. When I saw that the coast was clear I went in.

I got straight to work. A storm was rolling in and was taking my sun with it. I snapped pictures from different angles, trying out different methods.

I was taking a shot of a statue, focusing in to capture more detail when I saw something move in the blurry background, I zoomed in and pressed on the shutter button to focus. A large black wolf was watching me from the edge of the forest.

I pulled the camera away from my face and gave the wolf an unhappy glare.

It disappeared back into the trees, hoping she left I went back to taking my pictures but when I raised the viewfinder back to my eye and could see her running toward me.

She hoped the gate and came over to me.

"And here I thought you'd taken a hint," I frowned at her.

"Sorry, guess I'm just clueless," Lev grinned.

"Then let me be more clear. Leave me alone," I spelled out and moved past her, hoping if I just kept talking pictures she would grow bored and go. Instead, she just watched me.

"What?" I snapped when I couldn't take her peering eyes anymore.

She shrugged.

"Nothing, your just so beautiful when you're focused.

Her compliment made my stomach flip, I shuddered and took a few more steps away from. She was like a pickaxe tearing away at my devices, the only thing that kept my heart safe.

"yeah well, your distracting,"

"Oh?" She smirked.

I scowled at her before raising the camera back to my eye.

"Don't flatter yourself, you're like an annoying mosquito buzzing in my ear,"

She gave a long dramatic sigh.

"Wow that hurts and here I was going to offer to teach you how to tune out the spirits, oh well message received ill just be going then,"

She started to walk away, I squinted back at her. She played cards I didn't even know she had.

"Wait. Do you really mean that? could you really teach me?"

She turned back around with a large grin plastered across her face.

"I would never lie to you,"

I gave a deep sigh and against better judgment, I took a step closer to her.

"Can you teach me?" I asked not used to asking for help. "Please,"

The last bit came out strangled and bland.

She nodded.

"Follow me, when that bracelet comes off your not going to want to be in a graveyard,"

I followed her out of the gates and we walked closer to the forest. She sat down and motioned for me to sit in front of her. I sat slowly and she scuched closer to me until our knees were touching.

I flinched and broke the contact be backing up a bit.

She frowned.

"You really don't like to be touched,"

There was almost a pain in her voice and I looked up at her to see her face was saddened.

"It's not just you, I don't like anyone really touching me, not since I was a kid," I admitted sheepishly. I didn't know why I told her that. The look on her face made me want to ease the hurt that I caused.

Her jaw tightened and reset her features before holding her hand out.

"I am going to have to take that off of you first," She examined the bracelet on my wrist.

"Oh right," I lifted my arm and she cupped her hands around my wrist.

"I just have to overpower the magic with my own," She explained, holding the metal so it wasn't touching my skin, but her skin still touched mine, the contact creating the tingling sparks.

"You feel them too?" Lev asked watching me.

I gave a small nod.

"What do they mean?" I asked, my eyes down glancing at our joined hands.

"Let me show you how to do this first and if you still want to know after, I'll tell you,"

I nodded and she focused back on the bracelet. I felt the heat of the hot silver, it must have been killing Lev's hands.

I heard the snap of the metal breaking.

As soon as it was off my brain went bizzark. My head was full of screams, thousands of voices yelling on top of each other.

I clutched my head and screamed with them.

"Make them stop! Get them to stop!" I yelled at Lev, she looked at me with complete and udder shock.

I rocked back and forth, low whines escaped me.

"Hey, hey, you have to ignore them, push them away, and focus on something else," Lev made me look at her.

I shook my head at her. How could I push them away, they were tearing my brain apart, each voice like a needle being stabbed into my ears.

She gave a disgruntled sigh and reached forward and took me into her arms and pressed me to her torso. I was to distracted to pull away, to realize i was letting her touch me, to hold me.

"Just focus on my heartbeat, just focus and listen," She hushed.

I tried to clear away some of the voices and pressed my ear to her chest. It only worked a little, the more I pushed away the more they shoved back.

"Alright don't kill me," Lev grumbled and bent down and her lips met mine.

The sparks exploded. The spread across my entire body and the spirits seemed to disappear into nothing. She was the only thing that mattered. Unlike last time I could react, and I kissed her back, I liked kissing her. I was about to pull her closer when my brain kicked back in and shot up my walls again. I pulled away and scuttled off of her.

Bile rose up my throat, memories raced in my head, the last time someone has kissed me, what had happened.... I gagged and forced myself to take deep breaths.

"Hale? Are you okay?" Lev asked me slightly breathless.

I nodded not trusting my voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't think they would be that loud from all the way over here. I underestimated your power," She apologized.

We sat in silence for a while, I hated to admit it but it worked, focusing on her, and whatever connection we had dimmed the hold the spirits had on me. Even now they were like background noise, not gone, but hovering quietly.

I stole glances at her, she was watching me, her face was relaxed and calm. I gulped and tucked a piece of hair behind my hair.

She was breaking away at me. I could feel it, it chipped away my fierce exterior and was poking at the fear and insecure girl I kept locked up.

"How can you turn into a wolf?" I asked when I couldn't take any more of her starring.

"It's my spirit animal because as darks we are more intuned with souls we can shift into them," She explained simply.

"Could you teach me how to do that?" I questioned, drawing my knees into my chest.

"Yes but I won't,"

I looked up her, my eyebrows knitted together.

"What, why?"

"Because you're not ready to go that far, your to guarded. Your soul would go against your mind,"

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

She just looked away, this time I starred at her, I narrowed my eyes and read her body language.

"This has to do with the sparks right? The thing you avoided earlier,"

She dragged her eyes back to me, frowning.

"Your too smart for your own good," was all she said.

I scooted a little closer to her and straightened up my back.

"Tell me," I pleaded.

Her eyes softened.

"I don't want to scare you," Her voice was fearful, like I might go running for the hills at any moment.

"I'm a tough girl, I think I can take it," I rolled my eyes.

She glared at me.

"Not when it comes to your emotions,"

"Lev!" I whined out, growing impatient.

"I told you," she corrected, I gave her a look and she gave a defeated sigh. "Ugh fine, but I don't want to be held responsible when you get all freaked out,"

I just looked at her ready for her to explain.

"Okay, so like I said dark witches and warlocks are more in tune with souls, meaning we can see other people's souls, we can see how they behave, we can see which souls are meant for each other, soulmates, two souls that create one. But we have something deeper, two souls that were once one, meaning we weren't meant for each other, we were once one soul. That tingling session is our souls trying to stitch back together,"

I went still, I tried to prove him wrong but he was right, I was freaking out, I wanted to bolt up and run far far away.

I clutched the grass to stay rooted.

"So you're saying we're..."

"You and I share one soul, we're connected,"

I nodded and took deep breathes.

Run, run now. Get as far away as possible.

"That's why I can't stay away from you no matter how hard I try, I always end up finding you. I'd be surprised if you said I wasn't crossing your mind the past few days,"

I nodded again, trembling to the core.

"Even when I was trying so hard not too... you would just pop up,"

My breaths came out short and huffy, every incint I had told me to go, but something made me stay.

I could see this vague string, streaching out to her in my mind, the more I followed the string the more comforted I felt, home, it felt like home, a feeling i was not aquinted with.

Her eyes turned pleading and hurt, like she was about to lose everything she had.

"Please don't run,"

She opened his arms and gave me a look full of such vaunerbilty, like if i rejected her it would crush her.

Slowly I crawled into her embrace and she held me close to her.

Sparked danced where my cheek pressed to her neck, where her hands held my waist.

I held my breath as I reminded myself that that string, that bond between us let me know that she wouldn't hurt me.

"I can't promise to not be distant. I've never... this stuff... it's just not me," I told her.

"I know, slow, we can take this slow," she murmured her lips brushing my hair.

"Ok," I whispered and relaxed, sparks tingling down my back.

I'd let her slip past, the first person who cared enough to keep pushing no matter how many times I'd shut them out. So easily it almost made me feel weak, and worn down.

We didn't say anything else, we just watched the sun start to go down.