Chapter One

There was a small knock on the door followed by opening the door. My aunt Becca stood there poking her head inside through the doorway. She looked pale and had bags beneath her eyes. And also her face was tear stained, her hair a mess of blonde mop. Her black dress was creased and it didn't take a genius to figure out that she was crying. Sobbing to be precise. A small frown etched on her full pink lips instead of the usual sweet and warm smile. But I believe I looked much worse, much worse.

I looked up by lifting my face from my knees. I wiped my face with the sleeves of my jumper. I looked terrible. I know that from the way she's looking at me. With pity. With sympathy. And you know what's bad? I don't want any of it. Sympathy meant being weak, feeling weak. And my mother always taught me to never look at myself as a weak person. She said I was a strong person, so I had to be strong for her sake, one last time.

"Look, Cade. I know this is tough times for us, tough times indeed. You don't want to go and neither do I," Aunt Becca said as she leaned down and patted my head, her eyes filled with deep, deep empathy. "But we have to, sweetie. We have to, because it's the right thing to do. She wouldn't have liked you to see breaking down. Please, Cadence go with us and prove that you're strong enough."

My eyes teared up, even more if that was possible and the tears I had on a restraint, started leaking down my cheeks, leaving nothing but damp pain behind. "But I'm not." My voice was a mere whisper, which made her snap her eyes to me. It was the first time I had spoken in days. Of course she was shocked. I continued, "I'm not strong enough to han-to handle this pain. It feels like I'm numb, aunty and nothing can bring me back."

My aunt's tears that she had miserably failed to control were now freely falling down and onto my shoulder. "Please, Cade."

Her heartbreaking voice sent shivers of guilt down my spine, guilt that I just wanted to thrash away. Guilt that was so poisonous, I felt like I was drowning and falling down a cliff at the same time. I couldn't breathe, and even if I could physically, my end was waiting right at the end of the fall.

She sighed, controlled her sobs and continued, "She would have wanted you to be happy. Please don't do this, Cade. I can't see you like this. You're like my own daughter," she said in an undertone and again broke into another sob.

I took a good look at her. She was my mother's sister. My aunt Becca. She and my mum had many similarities. The same blonde hair but my mum's was a bit of paler blonde. My mum had straight pale blond hair whereas my aunt had a darker tone and her hair was a mane of beautiful curls.

She didn't wait for an answer and sat down beside me, against the wall. She then caressed my face with her hand and lifted my chin up, an act that my mother used to do so many times when I was sad and lonely. She used to come and sit down beside me and lift my head so I could see into her eyes. My mum's eyes were the best, apart from her beautiful smile. Her eyes comprised of beautiful pale blue coloured irises and specks of golden hues sparkled whenever she was happy. And that was generally all the time. Whenever I looked into her eyes, my sorrow would disappear. She didn't even need words to lift my mood, her presence was just enough, the presence that left me along with a hollow burning in my chest and soul.

"Cadence, listen to me, honey. Your mum loved you, she loved you so, so much that I can't put it in words," She started off. "Honestly honey, she was barmy for you and your brother. And I know you love her equally as much as she did if not more. So," She trailed off and joined her hands in front of me, making guilt gnaw at me. I immediately caught her palm and shook my head. "I'm begging you Cadence, come with us, or you'll regret this chance of not seeing her for the last time."

It was easy for her to say. She didn't lose her parent in an accident. She didn't lose her mother. She didn't lose her best friend, like I did.

"She was her sister too, Cade," my mind reminded me.

Silence clawed at us, sinking its paws deeper. It was painful to even manage a few words.

She sighed, stood up and placed the black dress she brought for me on the bed and started heading to the door. She was just about to turn the doorknob when I spoke-

"I'm coming," I said meekly. She turns around and looks at me. Her eyes turned watery and glistened with unshed tears. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards into a small, sad smile and she nodded before leaving me alone with my thoughts, thoughts painful enough to engulf me.

With a determined and steady heart, I decided to stand up from my raccoon.

I sighed and walked towards my study table where my favorite picture of my mother lied. It was a picture that was taken a few years ago at the local carnival. I had a large pink candyfloss in my hand and was grinning goofily with my braced teeth while my mother was grinning just like me. Our eyes were shinning with happiness. Satisfaction was etched on our faces. I loved that picture despite of the fact that I looked terrible with my thick rimmed glasses and braces while my mother looked like some goddess. I loved it because it was one of the best days of my life. The picture was clicked by my father because he claimed in his words 'my photography skills put actual photographers to shame'. Well yes he did click quite a good picture but was I ever going to admit that? Nope. I smiled to myself as I remembered that day. It was undoubtedly one of the best days of my life.

I averted my attention from the photo to my phone that lied beside it. I picked it up and scanned through it.

38 missed calls from Hailey.

64 messages from Hailey.

13 voice calls from Hailey.

And a few messages from my distant relatives saying that they are sorry for my loss and messages that indirectly imply that they pity me and all that bullcrap. I didn't check those messages out. I scrolled through the messages that Hailey had sent me.

'Babygirl? You okay, I heard about your mum's accident. I'm extremely sorry I'm out of London right now and will come back asap. I can't even type rn, my hands are shaking so bad. She will be okay, I promise.' This was sent the day the accident happened. My mum was in a critical condition. Well, Hailey didn't keep here promise was all I could think of as another jolt of tears hit me.

'Look you're scaring me. Pick up the god damned phone or else I'm going to kill you.' This message was sent the day when my mum was no more, three days ago.

And many such messages later I finally reached the last message.

'I'll be there in five. Don't worry. I'm with you and don't shut me out or else you're dead.' It was sent a few minutes ago.