chapter 5

Unami opened her eyes. The morning breeze leaving a bloodied body shivering with cold or was it something else as well. An intense feeling of despair overwhelming her mingled with a lot of betrayal. Mick had had this done to her and he had watched from the sidelines, he had enjoyed watching them defile her. She was a fool to have ever thought to love him, to not have seen it coming and to have gone out alone at night after that stupid party, to have attended it in the first place everyone had warned her about those damn parties.

She was stubborn and foolish and stupid, and she hated herself. For a moment she felt like just lying there and not move, but registering where they had left her she knew she couldn't. They had taken her unconscious body and dumped her by her gate. She picked herself up and raced inside, her hands trembling, she unlocked the door praying her tenants hadn't seen her.

A bath...

She needed a bath, she felt so dirty, she had never been this dirty. She felt as though she could still feel their hands, their filthy touch still lingered on her skin, she needed to, she simply had to remove it from her. She could remember their scents too, it seemed to be ached into her. She ran the hot water from the solar water heater hoping it would still be hot. Then sighing in finding it close to scalding hot, it was perfect.

She got rid of the blood stained party dress and lowered herself into the water. feeling it burn into her skin she dipped her face underneath the water and forced herself to concentrate on the burning stings of the water on her skin until it ran cold. She emerged and opened her eyes to find the water tainted red with the blood that had dissolved off her body, finding it disgusting she got out of the tub and pulled the plug and turned around to unwittingly face the mirror.

Her eyes red and swollen from crying, her cheeks were swollen from the slaps William had landed on her, her whole entire body marked with bruises and scratches, they had even planted bites on her. Her hand flew to her mouth to muffle the screeches as she sobbed, her tears running down her face. She went under the shower and turned the valve, ice cold water washed dawn on her and she reached for the scrub, soaped it and ran it over her body over and over again, maybe if she washed enough she wouldn't feel so used, so defiled, so dirtied. But realizing in despair, she couldn't wash them off, despite the fresh scent of soap she could still smell them on her, despite the hot water in the tub, and the cold water now she couldn't get rid of the lingering of their touches.

She hated them, she cried, God, she hated them.

She got out from underneath the shower and made sure the door was locked then returned to the mirror and watched herself cry,

'look what they did to me' she murmured 'mama' she cried, if only her mother was her, close to her she would know what to do, Soneni would have protected her 'mama' but she wasn't here, she was away in SA trying to earn a living for the two of them.

'bastards' she wasn't sure if she said it or thought it, or if she heard it, she knew it was true though, those five were all bastards, they were pigs and they were swines, they had touched her, they had brutally raped her, without mercy to her cries, without pity at all. And  they had taken her body and dumped it by her gates, without any remorse, she was willing to bet they would be at church today as though nothing ever happened.

Looking at her reflection, the girl infront of her didn't seem to be her at all, she had her features, wore the bruises from last night but she wasnt her. Unami could feel it, there was a strange detachement between herself and the reflection in the mirror. It was as though she were looking at another odd individual, a person who happened to look just like her but had something strange about her.

She closed her eyes, allowed her soul to drift away from the ugly present, as though into a deep sleep to somewhere were it was peaceful and without pain, numb to it all. She had heard it somewhere, didn't remember where, how one was supposed to feel things, let your heart hurt and feel the pain, otherwise the pain became ugly, she didn't care for that. Everything was now ugly, none of it could ever turn beautiful what they had done to her was never going to feel pretty at any point in life they had scarred her for eternity and it was far much better to never feel again. But  then she had to open them again after god knew how long, finding her self lying on the floor next to the toilet seat. She got up and went to find the loition in the small compartment behind the bathroom mirror, but only  to see the wretched face that was her reality reflected to her, the scars and marks that tainted her body, and ached deep into her soul.

They were bastards and if she could shave her skin off to get rid of their touches she would.

Shave....

Her eyes darted to the shaving stick in front of her, then she reached for it. Her hands shaky as ever, she took out it's blade cutting her hands in the process and threw away the holder then returned to sit beneath the shower, her head rested on her knees as her body rocked back and forth till the sobs receded.

Unami stilled and looked at the blade, she needed to get rid of this feeling, the pain and regret, she couldn't live on, her life was simply over, in an instant the blade slashed across her left wrist and she looked at the oozing blood before laying curled up on the floor. She closed her eyes and willed the darkness to carry her off but it was taking too long, she held the blade firmly in her left hand despite the pain, she ran it across her right.

.......

The sun had just risen and MaNyoni emerged from her quarters with a broom in hand, this was another reason to hate having a child landlord, Unami was like a landlord to them since her mother wasn't here. This Sunday was her turn to sweep the yard but she was already 30 minutes late, and Manyoni was sure she was still asleep. Dust rose from the ground as the broom swept away the dead leaves on the ground and as she swept angrily past the drains, the water from the main bathroom caught her eye, stained red with blood, the thin liquid flowed out for a while as she stood frozen, her mind unable to make sense of it.

Eventually snapping out of it

'Unami" she mumbled

" Unami wee" she called out, dropping her broom and rushing indoors. She made her way to the bathroom she had never before entered, the two families each had their own bathroom and toilets. Her heart raced as her mind made up a thousand different scenarios, she hoped, prayed it wasn't anything serious. If it wasn't, she hoped Una wouldn't be mad at her for her storming into the girl's quarters, after all, they weren't anything close. MaNyoni still hoped it wasn't

She tried the bathroom door to find it locked then banged on it with her palm

"Unami"  she called hitting onto the door then pulling the handle

"Unami open up" she said before panicking, she was sure Una was inside, what had happened to her? What ever it was, she, Manyoni would undoubtedly be blamed, "my god"  she lamented as she fought With the door handle.

She paused to think for a while, then remembering she had seen the house keys dangling by the door when she entered, she turned to retrieve them, hopefully she would find the bathroom door key among them.

She half walked, half ran back with the bundle of keys and with her hands trembling, tried one key after the other all the while cursing her fate for being in this predicament. Eventually the lock gave and she flung the door open and entered the bathroom, only to stand by the door for a second or two before letting out a screeching scream. Her hands flew up to muffle her screams. She stood for a while unable to move, her mind racing miles ahead of her as she stared at Unami's  naked body laying, seemingly lifeless on the cold floor, the water running from the shower washing off the blood from her wrists. Somehow Unami  had cut both her wrists

How had she done it? And why? Unami was just a kid in her eyes, a kid who got everything she wanted, MaNyoni found herself wondering before chastising herself, that wasn't the point here, the point was there was a girl in front of her either dead or dying. For a second, she noticed the bruises and marks on her body and felt a shiver of fear crawl down her spine. Something bad had happened, something horrid. And she didn't know if she wanted to be a part of it.

Regardless, she would do her own part before washing her hands clean, she would pay her dues to humanity, she couldn't leave the girl alone here. She rushed to the bedroom and took off the small blanket that covered the single bed and rushed back.

She turned the valve to stop the water then wrapped Unami up in the blanket, holding her hands up to minimize the blood lose, it seemed she wasn't dead yet, MaNyoni uttered a prayer then picked her up.

" help me"  she called out to the neighbors "help, she's bleeding" 

MaiMunashe was just getting ready for church when she heard the screams, curiosity dragged her outside to leave her amazed by the scene

"What happened?" She asked, more curious than concerned, her hands already dialing for the ambulance

"I found her bleeding on the bathroom floor" MaNyoni explained laying Una  down out on the verandah, unwittingly exposing her bare flesh beneath the blanket

"She's naked! Get her clothes, you don't want her going to the hospital like this" MaiMunashe instructed, already taking charge. The oversized clothes were there in an instance

" I'm not sure about where she keeps her clothes so I got mine. Instead." MaNyoni explained as they fumbled to get her dressed, the blade fell out of her hand, leaving deep cuts where she had firmly held on to it, her hand red with dark blood.

"She sheeee she ccut herself" MaNyoni stammered to see the other woman shake her head in disbelief, the easy go lucky girl had tried taking her own life. Such was unheard of, it was unusual and was strange, children didn't take their own lives, they simply never thought of such things. Yet here she was bleeding her life out. The ambulance stopped in front of the gate and the paramedics rushed off with a stretcher.

Unami was hurried off into the vehicle and the two women easily forgot about the bruises that had marred her body, what resonated in their minds was the fact that a little girl had taken her own life, or at least tried.  What problems could a child possibly have?  To the point of taking her own life, that was simply inconceivable, but then again Una was spoilt, what parent left her 17 year old daughter to live with just tenants?  Manyoni boarded a kombi and headed for the Hospital, this was going to be one long week, thank goodness this was the last week of the month, she could move out next week itself, she hadn't signed up for babysitting, and her poor son couldn't learn such traits from Unami, she simply couldn't have her son attempting suicide for every little problem. In the meantime, she would call Soneni and tell her about her daughter, god save them all

Mai Munashe headed for church, she couldn't wait to tell Prophet Jude about this, people didn't take their own lives like that, especially not teenagers, unless they had the devil driving them to it. Unami needed the man of god to pray for her and deliver her from whatever demons were haunting her. Mai Munashe had known it all along, she had said it countless times, that Unami wasn't quite normal, there was always something off about her, she could tell Unami was possessed, now here it was! Her demons had driven her to death.

........

Soneni sat relaxed on her couch in her quarters, it was nice to get a little quite time. Sometimes work could get so hectic they'd be no time at all to just lay back and relax but last night she had had this horrid nightmare, she couldn't quite piece together what it had been about but it was bad enough to get her worried about every little thing.  she missed her daughter dearly, no one understood what it felt like to have to leave her own daughter behind and come her to work as a maid. But then again no one took the time to understand how difficult it was for a widowed single mother to raise her child, she needed money and this was the best she could do. Because of her own predicament, she would never let Unami put a hold on her dreams.

Soneni's daughter would become everything she sets out to be, she would live out her  every dream without Soneni holding her back, this she promised and fulfilled, Unami's love for fashion was something Soneni was proud of. She believed in her daughter and knew Una would never let her down, she was a well cultured girl who knew the difference between right and wrong.

Yet somehow thinking about everything had made her depressed, her blood pressure had sky rocketed and the doctor had commanded complete rest, he had seen something in her tests that had left him concerned until he cleared his doubts, Soneni was to not take up too much strain. Soneni had intended to be stubborn as always but her mistress was another thing altogether, Ms McClain wasn't having anyone dying on her employee, Soneni would rest whether she liked it or not. It made her smile just thinking about it, her employer was a nice old lady she didn't like to show it much, Ms McClain was sure her employees would take advantage of it, but she was really a softie, she was warm loving and kind but she was also firm and strict. All in all old McClain was a woman not to be messed with and Soneni loved her for that and all the more respected her.

Her thoughts were cut off when her cell phone rang, she looked at the number and smiled MaNyoni had been keeping an eye on Unami for her ever since she started renting their house, it was funny how she always raised concerns over minor things, the worst Unami had done in the past year was go out to a party too late, it had upset Soneni to hear about it but it wasn't new, Unami went to those parties a lot but would never drink or do drugs, it was just a social call for her, something she did for the sake of her popularity and to burst her career.

As a mother she had chastised  her daughter lightly for the party going, but she wasn't there to stop it. In the end she took comfort in her daughters good character, knowing Unami wouldn't do anything to bring them shame.

"Hello MaNyoni, how are you" she answered the call

".....what do mean?...no why would she do that?..... I'll be there as soon as I can"

When she put down the phone, she found she couldn't breathe, her heart hurt....it hurt a lot, how could it be, Unami, her sweet darling Unami had almost taken her own life! It seemed like a nightmare, like she had heard it without truly hearing it. Maybe it was a joke, a sick, sick prank. Her feet carried her to the main house and she made her way to the living room where Ms McClain sat with her guest

"Soneni what's wrong with you?" McClain snapped her out of her thoughts, her face was pale and she hadn't really paid attention coming here, looking at the face of her employer, she realized Ms McClain had said something a few number of times now without her noticing

" my daughter" Soneni said her voice coming out husky, "she tried to...tried to kill herself!" She said breaking down, the pain in her chest becoming real, so real her hand rose up to clutch at her heart. She couldn't breathe

"Unami tried to kil....." her body crushed to the ground and she mumbled "Unami" . In the back of her mind, she could her Ms McClain's petrified voice call her name before everything went black