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I am sitting on the table. I'm more precise, but it's not important. A long-haired blonde is sitting at the table, the beauty is worth noticing, dressed in a suit. An old butler is nearby. In front of the table Alucard.

- Nya.

- Well, why did you bring me ... Him?

- Nya, - More respectful please. Realizing that they did not understand me, he began to scratch on the table "More respectful please". Finished in four seconds and looked at the blonde's reaction. She went nuts. Well, yes, I am not inferior in speed to local vampires, there is something to be surprised at.

- Stop ... Oh, you fucking cat! Yes, I will ...

- Amazing! The speed is not less than that of vampires! Hmm, Alucard, did you accidentally make him a vampire?

- No. I found him when I killed that priest.

- Nya, - the infection is lying. It was he who was killed there. I interrupted the ghouls, and he swatted the priest himself with two shots.

"… Eh… Okay, I'll look after him. Until then, leave the police in the room.

- Yes, madam.

- Nya! - Henpecked! Oh, it seems he understood the meaning of what was said. We must run !!!

It didn't work to escape. Alucard caught and left Seras in the room. And left. And I, decided not to waste time in vain, took out a manual for blondes on magic and began to read.

Someone's cough distracted me from reading. Damn, I only got to the third chapter, "Household charms"! I'll hit you! I'll beat you for sure!

- Where did he get the book? .. Seras, what did you give the cat to read?

- Is there a cat?

-…Clear. I got it myself. Okay, Seras to Integra.

And so the conversation between the butler and the policeman ended. And they took me with them, to Integra, that very long-haired blonde. I continued reading along the way. It was certainly uncomfortable at first, but it occurred to me to hold the book with my tail, so reading became more pleasant. Already in the office, Integra ordered Alucard and Seras to go on a mission to kill evil spirits. After some thought, I decided to go with them. A free experience will obviously not be superfluous.

Our, that is, theirs, the target turned out to be a weakling. Seriously, the only thing this `` vampire '' can do is shoot and that's it. Now I understand why Alucard complains about the weakness of the current generation of evil spirits. They are really weak! By the way, I delivered the last blow, so I got the experience. Although it was only a quarter of everything, if I alone killed the whole, it was enough, but this amount was enough until the fourth level. Oh, I decided not to touch it yet and leave it for later.

Returning to the possession of Hellsing, he continued to read the book. It dragged on for a long time, after all, under two thousand pages of pure text, without any water about what magic is, its types, methods of application, and ways of awakening, this is a lot. But on the other hand, the material is presented in an interesting way, besides, I like to read. Having read to the end of everyday charms, I immediately stepped over to "Mastering Magic", the chapter that was already at the end. Simply, in a household enchantment, there was one seal that allowed one to speak any language if applied to the body. And I want to speak normally. Still, loneliness for centuries is bad for communication skills. The seal, which by the way is called "Seal of Speech", I did ... For several weeks. After all, I'm still a layman in magic. And so, all the lines, drawings and diagrams are printed on paper, it remains only to feed them with the mana that I have ... Blocked. Simply, I need the "Source", but I don't know where to get it. You can certainly buy it in the store but ... Only hardcore, only self-awakening with mana !!! Hmm ... I love to complicate my life, but it doesn't matter.

What is this "Source"? This is such a hearth, a place in the body where all mana is stored. Everyone has it, and for awakening one must experience the strongest emotional outburst, and any emotion. Also, it can be awakened unconsciously, and you can also try to meditate and feel the "Source", and there are times when it is awakened from the very birth. I decided to use meditation.

While I was trying to awaken the "Source", Integra sent Alucard and Seras on a mission a bunch of times, and of course I followed them to pump up. Realizing that I would not be left behind, Integra already sent me alone on some missions, so I had no problems with experience and I managed to reach the fifth level. After that I chose the class. This is ... Assassin. For this, I got the skills: "Stealth", by the way, he merged with the "Merge with darkness" becoming "Shadow stealth"; "Acceleration", I can become twice as fast for a couple of seconds; Survey reminds me of echolocation. When used, I can see the surrounding terrain from all sides, and finally, the last skill is "Disguise". I can tweak my appearance a little, and because of this it becomes more difficult to identify me, me.

However, after choosing a class, it became much more boring to swing. Six thousand experience is required for the sixth level !!! Six thousand! Although for the fifth I needed only five hundred! Okay though ... shouldn't everything be terribly easy? Plus, I like it when it gets harder because it's more fun! And more fun. And oh, how I love fun. NYA-HA-HA-HA-HA !!!

Integra us three, that is me, Alucard and Seras, at night, sent to the hotel completely captured by ghouls. Alucard got there first, as he just ran, and the other two of us were driving in the car of the butler Walter. So, monsieur high vampire finished off the creator of the dead evil, and began to kill the ghouls. They sent me to watch there were no more people left on the first floor, but they went to the second. I checked. There were no ghouls there, but the fucking priest, yes. He went to the second floor, and judging by the sounds there was someone fighting. And then a rzhach sounded from there, so it became obvious that Alucard entered the battle. Arriving at the place, I was greeted by an interesting picture. Seras is all in glowing paper and a bunch of long knives with a strange handle, and Alucard fought with that fucking priest. It was evident that both were having fun. I, while no one saw, pulled out the blades from Victoria, and took the papers. All this was neatly packed into inventory, I just want to know how to paralyze a weak, but a vampire with simple paper and a few daggers. And also on a note, it would be necessary to find out how people struggle with all evil spirits on their own.

- Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, - Alucard once again neighing, thus provoking the priest.

- Cat? ..

- Nya! - Using paws and tail, he indicated that we need to run as far from here as possible.

- But what about the master?

- ... NYA! - Obviously, he can handle it himself! I had to scrawl it on the floor, or it didn't reach her right away.

- Hmm ... - The blonde looked around the two fighters, and having estimated something, she got up and started to run.

At the exit from the building, Walter and Integra were waiting for us, as well as a bunch of people. I quickly got into the car, because I don't want to get involved in their disassembly, I have more important things to do. Sitting comfortably, he took out a manual on magic, and continued reading. I managed to calmly read for a long time, and then my comrades came and we went to the Hellsing estate. I continued to read quietly without paying attention to them. True, sometimes there were bumps on the road and the car shook, but it didn't really bother me, although it annoyed me.

Already in the estate, he continued to try to awaken the source. And so on until the morning. And then, I started digging in the library of this place, and found a lot of interesting things. Well, for example, the seal of Cromwell. It is a seal of containment for overly strong subordinates such as Alucard, for example. She has six levels of containment. And it is quite difficult to create, although not impossible for me. After that, I began to squeeze water out of the books I read. That is, to rewrite everything useful, so that later you do not read these books, which contain a lot of unnecessary water. For this I was given the skill "Writing", which allowed me to write without hands, only using mana, but as it is obvious ... Mana is blocked for me. The skill worked, though. At first, it was fucking difficult, but now, after a few hours, when this skill has already reached the eighth level, writing was easy, and also very fast. Therefore, the correspondence did not spend my whole day. The remaining time until night, continued to try to awaken the "Source". At midnight, I fell asleep.

****

I heard the sounds of gunfire. I immediately went to the sound and saw a bunch of ghouls. Um ... What have they forgotten at the Hellsing estate? Did Alucard decide to have some fun? Although, no, it doesn't look like it. Ghouls were killing soldiers, and Al definitely wouldn't do that, so it's obvious. We were attacked. Without hesitation, I began to smash-shred these guys until I drop.

After a couple of corridors of ghouls, I met Walter with Seras and some negro.

- Hmph. This vampire made a ghoul and attacked the estate with his brother, - Walter immediately explained to me.

- Nya, - I see. In a second he got to the negro and tried to pierce his head.

- No, you won't get fucking cats!

- Nya! - Restrain your expressions, brat! As fast as I could, I hit him in the head. Well, at least he will have a concussion. Besides, his head is punctured. But nothing, he's a vampire, Will stand

The Negro left Walter for questioning. However, it didn't work out from him, and as a result, the guy got out. In a second, I punched him in the head a few more times, for a breakdown. And with the last control blow, I turned my heart and lungs into minced meat. Experience has been gained, so he is dead, this time for sure.

And then he hurried to Alucard. The Negro's brother went to him. However, as it turned out, he was already killed, and it's a pity, I could get so much experience. Well, okay. But I was able to draw more Alucard's blood, well, a little of this guy, after all, it was scattered all over the floor of the dungeon, in which Al and the Negro's brother fought.

However, it didn't end there. The Negro turned Hellsing's soldiers into ghouls, so they had to be killed as well. On this, everything was definitely over, and Integra went to look for someone who could replace the soldiers at least for a while.

****

At least a month has passed for sure. It's just that I don't know much about time, and besides, I was too keen on studying and rewriting the Hellsing library. This time passed calmly for me. I even got almost the sixth level! That's what a bunch of monsters are doing that I kill in batches almost every night! I had ten unallocated OXs and I thought. Use them now or later. But then he spat, and pumped five into speed, and the rest into intelligence. After that, the processing of the information received from the books went many times faster. And, I finally awakened the "Source", thanks to which I was able to charge the "Seal of Speech!" Although, I fiddled with it a little, since I lost the first one somewhere, and I spent the second seal trying it on a frog. I'm not an idiot to use unverified seals on myself ?! So, the seal burned a mana symbol on my tongue, and I was able to speak!

On the same day Integra ordered a group of mercenaries that they called something like geese ... Well, geese appeared in their name. On their detachment I decided to check the print functionality. I took it, went to see them ...

- Hello! - It sounded enough from me ... A peasant voice. It's time for me to portray an old man. My voice, not particularly like the one that a cat could speak, but rather a voice belonging to ... Someone huge. Hmm ... I remembered! Yes, I have a voice similar to the one that talking dragons have from various taunts! And it sounds, not cool in black! So, the mercenaries are a little freaked out. Although Alucard and Seras immediately noticed me and lost their shit.

- Where does the sound come from? - Asked a man with a long pigtail, and with blood on his face.

- From here, mortal-nya!

- Eh ... CAT ?!

- Yes, the cat ... Who else. By the way, Al why were they hired? - I asked Alucard.

-… Hmph!

- Offended that-l-nya? Heh, here's a tsundere. Okay, Seras, do you at least know-nya?

- And ... Well, this, we seem to be going somewhere ...

- Enough for now.

- By the way, what do you say?

- That's it, - he showed the tongue with a symbol engraved on it. It was a black circle with a crossed out triangle inside.

- Have you become a magician? - Al grinned.

- Aha-nya. Okay, I'll go and tell Integra.

"By the way ... You're not just a cat, are you?"

- Al, it's obvious! Of course I'm not just a cat! Are you an idiot-nya ?!

- ... Tts ...

- Okay. To be honest, nya ... - Withstood a half-minute pause, - I myself do not know, - I went on, not paying attention to the offended glances of the audience.

- ... Hmmm ... An unusual cat, - the presenter of the mercenaries sighed in a resigned sigh.

- MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA !!! - I laughed a lot. But the soldiers were almost crap. Seras and Al are already used to my laughter, but they are not, sorry. I would like to scare them. And besides, I forgot about the quest for the twitching eyes of the undead! Damn, who's there ready for me?

"The twitching eye of the unclean"

Make creatures paranoid:

Alucard 0/1

Alexander Anderson 0/1

Victoria Seras 1/1

Integra Fairbrook Wings Hellsing 1/1

Walter K. Donnez 1/1

Reward: 4 500 OB, 20 OH, the rest is variable

Failure / Failure Penalty: Twitchy Eye Eternal Curse

… Ho-ho… Only Alucard and Alexander are not ready, which is not surprising, considering how much they have seen, and besides, I only saw the second one once. But it doesn't matter.

Integra, having learned that I can speak, was glad and elevated me to the rank of a spy ... Well, I'm glad. Now the work is fully consistent with my abilities. This means that they will develop quickly! Nya ha ha ha ha!

The next day some person from the Vatican came to us. His name is like Maxwell. But most importantly, Alexander Anderson came with him !!! So, is everything ready? I quickly rechecked all the things, recounted the speech in my mind, and stepped forward.

- Hello.

- ... Fuh-x-x ... I am raving on ...

- Look in the eyes!

-…WHAT? - It seems quiet, but very dumbfounded Anderson said.

- What, what, I'm a cat. Speaking. By the way ... - From that moment I took out a teaspoon and began to eat out the brains of Maxwell and Anderson, not forgetting to hang noodles on their ears, - And so, it turned out that Kate ... KILLER !!!

- OH NO!

- What the fuck? .. - Everyone else was watching this. And since Alucard and Anderson's eyes twitched, the quest is complete! So, I think I'll go.

- NYA-HA-HA-HA-HA !!!!!!

Burrowed back into the manual for blondes about magic. Still, this book needs to be re-read for more accurate information processing.

... My skills in magic are now only enough for printing, because of the simplicity. You just need to draw a diagram, pour in mana and you're done! By the way, because of the first one, I got the skill "Drawing", which is now already developed to the sixth level. But, I think that soon I will be able to make a shadow spike for example. It's just that I have the greatest affinity with darkness, therefore it is easier for me to use it, and besides, such a spell will be stronger and less costly. And lastly, I sympathize with everything dark, well, colors, deeds, things and so on.

After some time, Alucard, Seras and the captain of the "Wild Goose" squad - Pip Bernadotte went to Brazil. And I had to stay. Although ... Nobody forbade me to go to them ... Ho-ho ... Wait for me, bags of experience !!! MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA !!!!!!!

(leave comments and help me to improve this ff)