I kinda....

I kinda don't wanna be here,

I kinda don't wanna be alive,

I kinda don't wanna be human,

I kinda don't wanna be awake in the dead of night,

staring at my open window.

if only I could air out my feelings,

instead of just the air in my room.

I kinda wish that my friends really loved me.

I kinda wish that my family meant it

when they said that they love me.

I kinda wish the " I love you"

was louder than the

"You're such a fucking disappointment to everyone around you."

The "don't be a bother."

the "don't ask anything, you might be annoying."

The "You're such a stupid bitch."

I kinda wish I could sleep at night.

I kinda wish I could get my way, just once.

I kinda wish I could enough money to live.

I kinda wish that this isn't all there is to life.

I kinda wish that I wasn't sitting here,

crying because of how much I miss you.

It's 3 am,

you're asleep and I don't wanna wake you.

but, just know that I love you so, so fucking much.

you mean the absolute world to me.

And I really, really hope you mean it,

when you say you love me,

that you won't be like the others,

The others who replaced me,

who cheated on me,

or betrayed me.

I want to be with you, forever.

through thick and thin.