Nineteen

It was late afternoon when Orion announced the damage and bodies were cleaned up. None of the pack had died since so many responded to the threat to Zazriel, but several were injured. Mourgent contacted Zelda, Carlotta, Ansel and Duffy: who was Eva's permanent replacement. An hour after, he carried Zazriel to the living room, still in her wolf form. He didn't care. He was fine with her being a wolf and clinging to him like he was a lifeline. It meant she trusted him.

He sat in a recliner and looked at all his trusted men and women. "I know most of you were on patrol when the attack happened, so please don't blame yourselves for what happened."

"But, we're supposed to stop invaders," Ansel said, his arms crossed.

"Ansel, you and Duffy weren't on the right side of the territory to stop anything or anyone." Mourgent gave the man a reassuring look. Then, he turned to Carlotta. "And you don't blame yourself either. You did as I asked. That's all I require, Lotta."

"She froze," Carlotta whispered. "Just stopped moving like she was under a spell."

Mourgent nodded. "I know. But I felt her call me." The others went still. He sighed. "It's the first time. I felt her fear and need. I knew something was wrong and came right away."

"That's why it was so abrupt," Orion stated.

"Is she going to be alright?" Zelda asked.

Mourgent shook his head, tightening his arms around his mate, who he knew was listening. "I don't know."

Soon after that, they all dispersed. Mourgent sighed and buried his face in Zazriel's fur, taking in deep breaths of her scent. He was scared. Scared he was going to lose Zazriel. Scared she was already lost.

A whine.

Mourgent lifted his head to see beautiful amber eyes looking at him. "I'm here, Z."

She nuzzle his chin, then shifted, becoming a naked woman in his lap. Mourgent grabbed a blanket and wrapped her up, not daring to let her go. "Mourgent," she whispered.

"I'm here." He brushed hair away from her face. "You're safe, Z."

"It was Noira. She keeps attacking."

Mourgent tightened his arms. "Who is she, Z?"

Zazriel curled into a tight ball, giving Mourgent an idea of just how scared she was. "My mother's sister."

She began to cry.

Mourgent didn't really know how to respond to that fact, so he stayed quiet.

Zazriel finally felt safe enough to shift and tell Mourgent who was killing off her pack. But telling him was harder than she thought, and she broke down afterwards. She had meant to tell him more, but couldn't.

What happened during the attack…it scared her. She had never froze in the middle of a battle before, never felt suffocated and lonely before, never had flashbacks of her childhood before. It hurt. And when Mourgent had tackled her, she thought it was Noira.

Because the she wolf had attacked Zazriel before, a long time ago when she was only a pup. Zazriel knew she was about to die, knew there was nothing she could do to prevent it from happening. Then, her father was there, attacking Noira and saving Zazriel. When Noira ran off, Zazriel's father had been feral, almost unreachable. It scared her.

She hadn't remembered that time until today. She hadn't even remembered the shewolf's name until the memory came back to devour her mind. And she thought it was Noira who was above her today. Not Mourgent. Not until he spoke.

Now, she tightened her arms about him, reassuring herself he was there, that she wasn't alone. She never wanted to be alone again.

"Zazriel, come on," her mate said now, softly as to not spook her. "Let's go bathe and go to bed."

She began to tremble. "I don't want to be alone!" she gasped as he lifted her up and stood. "Please! Mourgent, I-"

He kissed her gently on the lips and silenced her cries. "I'm not leaving you alone, Z. I won't even leave the bed."

"I'm scared!" she confessed. "Mourgent-"

He kissed her again. This time, until she relaxed. "I need you to trust me, Z. I'm not going to leave you alone again."

She looked into his eyes and relaxed some more. She saw his promise there and believed him. Zazriel lowered her head to his shoulder and closed her eyes. "Please…"

Mourgent helped her bathe the blood on her, then cleaned himself. After they were dressed, he laid down with her in his arms and held her. She felt safe there, felt protected, and found sleep eventually while listening to his steady heart.

However, she woke up screaming later that night and to Mourgent nearly crushing her body to his. Clutching at him, she shook and whimpered, but did sleep again.

When she woke to the morning, she was exhausted, as if she hadn't gotten any sleep. Her body ached and her throat was dry. But she was happy to be in Mourgent's arms, listening to his steady breathing. She turned and looked at him, seeing he too was exhausted. So, she didn't wake him, but watched as he slept peacefully. She traced the lines of his face and then his arms. She hummed to herself, and eventually fell asleep again.

"Zazriel?"

Zazriel opened her eyes to soft grey ones looking back at her. She blinked and saw she slept most of the day away. The sun was setting outside. Zazriel tensed and dared to look at her mate. But what she saw was a soft smile. "Sit up. I have food for you," he whispered.

She did as he asked and are the plate of spaghetti, then waited with worried breaths as he returned the dish to the kitchen before coming back. When he sat beside her, she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on for dead life.

"I have to talk to my team again, he said softly. "Do you want to be in the room?"

"I don't want to be alone," she stated.

"Then I'll bring you with," he whispered. Stroking her hair, Mourgent was silent a long time. Zazriel was afraid of what he might say next but relaxed when he said, "Carlotta and Zelda have a surprise for you tonight."

She sat up and looked at him. "A surprise?" He nodded. "What? Why?"

He smiled a sad smile that I knew was because he understood my questions better than I thought. "Can a couple of females not give a gift to you?"

Zazriel scrunched her nose. "I don't get gifts on random days."

Mourgent laughed and kissed her nose. "While the actual day may be random, Z, the gift and what it's for is not."

She thought for a moment. Then remembered the Feast. "I don't need anything, Mourgent. I'm fine with everything I have to present myself to the other packs."

"I know, but they did this out of their good hearts. Not because they felt it was their duties." He kissed her again. "Let them give this to you. Let the whole pack give you gifts until you have too many to deal with."

Zazriel lowered her head and wanted to disappear. "But, I don't know why they'd want to. I've fought to be free until recently, wanting to leave."

Mourgent cupped her cheek. "Maybe they sense that you finally want to stay." Orion linked him to let him know they were there and ready. He bent down to see her eyes, to make sure she saw him. "Let's just go see them, let them share what they have for you, then after they leave, you can decide whether or not to accept it? If you don't want to accept it yet, I'll find a room for it where you can always find it and maybe take out one day."

She nodded.

Mourgent lifted up and carried her down the hall. She had hidden her face in his chest so she couldn't see their guests, but she felt their eyes on her as he sat down with her in his lap. Once she was comfortable, he put his own hand to the back of her head and began to stroke her hair. "How's everything going?" her mate asked softly.

There were murmurs of positive statements and some teasing Mourgent asked a few questions then made some changes.

After, it was silent.

It was the tightening of his arm around her that told her someone was about to address her. She stayed still. Carlotta's voice was hesitant as she said, "Zazriel? I have something to hopefully make you a little happier."

Zazriel slowly peeked around to see Mourgent's friends in a half circle around the room, Carlotta and Zelda holding what looked like a black garbage bag. "Thank you, Carlotta," she croaked. "Thank you for yesterday, and I'm sorry I wasn't listening."

The female smiled. "You're alright, and that's all we care about." Her smile turned sympathetic. "If you ever want someone to talk to, though, I am a good listener. I won't share anything you say."

Zazriel gave a smile of her own, albeit shaky. "Thank you."

A squeeze of her waist told her Mourgent was happy with what she said.

Carlotta sucked in a deep breath and changed the subject. "Now, this might need some adjusting after you try it, but it shouldn't be too I'll-fitting. Zelda has good instincts when it comes to size."

Zelda smiled. "It's not instinct, but estimation. Besides, I've been around you to get a feel for certain things."

Zazriel was somewhat interested in what they were talking about, so sat up a little. To accommodate her, Mourgent turned her so she could lean back against him, putting both arms around her. She liked it.

Carlotta grabbed the top of the bag and lifted it. Slowly, a shimmering blue dress appeared. It had pearls on the bodice and the hem of the skirts, short, puffy sleeves that didn't reach much passed her shoulders, and a square neckline that wouldn't show cleavage but show off her neck and upper chest. Zazriel was mesmerized. She had never worn a dress before, never believed it was fitting since she had to drag herself across the ground most of the time. Yes, she always wanted to wear one, but never wanted to ruin the beautiful works of art.

Her eyes began to fill with the thought of this gift being ruined.

"Zazriel?" Zelda said with concern. "What's wrong? Do you not like it?"

Zazriel wiped her tears away and shook her head. "It's wonderful!"

Mourgent tightened his arms again. "So why do you look so sad?" Orion asked.

"I'll ruin it!"