Chapter 53: Blooper Reel! Part 1!

"Uh… we're doing what now?"

"Exactly what I just said!"

Renge walked further into Music Room 3, still in the green dress she wore to the Fair. Outside, cars and limousines were pulling away as everyone started to leave. The students of Ouran now had a whole weekend before their next day of classes, and everyone was sure to be talking about the Host Club drama. Said host club was currently trying to change back into their normal clothes when their manager came storming in.

She stopped right in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, and announced, "We're making another movie!"

Jin was the first to move, slowly bringing her hands in front of her chest in a 'T' position, "Time out, Renge… why? "

"Isn't it obvious?" The French girl began twirling around the room, clearly stuck in another fantasy, "Haruhi Fujioka, once thought and beloved by all of Ouran as the newest host, now finally comes clean to everyone as not a boy, but a girl! I need the… *ahem*, I mean, the student body needs the backstory!"

"Hm," Kyoya pulled his black journal out from under his arm, "The sales would definitely increase our budget. Are you thinking of making it more of a… documentary rather than fanservice?"

"Exactly!" Renge began her crazy laugh as the others thought it over.

Jin crossed her arms, shifting her weight onto her left leg, "Hmm… it actually sounds… fun. Getting to relive all of the crazy things that happened." Something tapped at her shoulder and she looked over. It was Haruhi.

"Nēchan, as interesting and helpful as this sounds for the club, and for helping to explain my secret to the rest of the school… I'm not sure how accurate this is going to be."

Jin smiled, "If you forget the fact that I wrote down all of the crazy things that happened to me. Remember how I had to keep a journal when I went to America and send it back to Japan for it to count as a year of school?"

"Yeah."

"I kept it up. I have pages of things. And don't forget my memory for details. The only shortcoming I can think of would be for the weeks I wasn't here."

At that, Kyoya looked up from his journal and smirked, "I believe I can help with that. For you see, I kept a short list of the details involving Haruhi's first few weeks of being a host, including the problems that we came across, just in case we encountered similar situations later on."

Jin threw her arms around her boyfriend's shoulders and kissed his cheek as Renge raised a hand in the air, "Pull out your old cosplays and get ready for the camera, boys! Um, and girls! We've got two days to make a movie!"

* Starting Today, You are a Host! *

The curtain behind her moved and Haruhi turned around quickly, struggling to see without her glasses.

"Here, change into this."

"... What is it?"

"A school uniform."

Uniform? "Why?"

Instead of answering like normal people , the twins lunged at her. Four hands were now trying to pull off her sweater and her shoes and whatnot, chanting the word 'change' over and over and over again.

"Hey! Let go of me! Seriously, I - augh, shut up!" Haruhi grabbed the uniform and pushed the boys away as best as she could. They tumbled out of the changing room, and immediately collapsed into laughter. The short brunette sat down on a nearby bench and pouted.

Her sister poked her head through the yellow curtain, a big grin on her face, "You told the twins to shut up on your first day of knowing them?"

"You can shut up, too, Nēchan. I just forgot my lines. Considering we got them this morning, can you really blame me? You know I'm a terrible actor!"

Her sister continued to smile, "Considering we only have the rest of the weekend to film and produce this, I'm afraid I can't cut you a lot of slack. And besides, you're actually doing great. I bet it's because you're playing yourself instead of someone else."

Groaning, the girl dropped her head, "Fine. Let's go again."

"Alright, reset! Episode 1, Scene 12: 'Haruhi Receives her Uniform!' Take 2!"

Haruhi watched her sister leave and sweatdropped. She's taking this role as Director too seriously.

(Since the club is so low on funds, they couldn't hire an actual Director with all of the extras and stage hands required. Jin and Renge are joint-owning the title for the weekend, with Kyoya as their Deputy Director.)

*\/*

The curtain behind her moved and Haruhi turned around quickly, struggling to see without her glasses.

"Here, change into this."

"... What is it?"

"A school uniform."

Uniform? "Why?"

Instead of answering like normal people , the twins lunged at her. Four hands were now trying to pull off her sweater and her shoes and whatnot, chanting the word 'change' over and over and over again.

"Hey! Let go of me! Seriously, this is harassment!" When the boys didn't stop, Haruhi shouted, "Okay, fine I'll change but you two have to get out !" She grabbed the uniform and pushed the boys away as best as she could. They tumbled towards the opening between the yellow curtains… but only Kaoru made it through to the other side. Hikaru somehow got tangled within the fabric and immediately started struggling.

"Kaoru? Kaoru, what happened? Where am I?"

"Hikaru!"

The older twin continued to squirm until the whole curtain came down, falling to the floor in a wriggling yellow blob, still calling out for his brother. Haruhi and Kaoru stared at each other for a moment before the girl started using the uniform in her hands to shield her body from his gaze.

"Stop looking! You pervert!"

"Ahhh!" Kaoru shielded his eyes, turning around and running away… straight into the door that lead back out to the music room. He fell back on his butt in a daze.

Behind the camera, Jin was cracking up while her Deputy Director cut the scene. Kyoya smirked and stepped onto the set.

"Nice improvisation, but as this is a documentary, we might want to stick as close to the script as possible."

"Sure thing, Kyoya-senpai." Haruhi and Kaoru nodded, still giggling a bit. From the curtains on the floor, Hikaru's left arm managed to escape enough to hold up a 'thumbs up'.

"Good. Now, let's fix the curtains and try again." He walked back to the camera crew where his girlfriend had already dropped to one knee she was laughing so hard, " Third time's the charm I suppose. "

*\/*

"Oh, really? That must've been terrible. I can't imagine what I would do if my bag fell into the pond." Haruhi worked hard to keep her face blank. "And you… mmm, you are just awesome. With your blue shirt and your hair… love it!"

"Cut!"

The actress they'd hired to play Ayankoji sat back in her seat, laughing, "I'm sorry, everyone! What's my line again?" Across from her, Haruhi had a hand covering her mouth, stifling her giggles.

*\/*

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Haruhi bit back a smile and readjusted the red bow on her neck, "Listen, Senpai, you guys can address me as a boy or a girl or even as an it. I'm not all that picky. In my opinion it's much more important for a person to be recognized for who they… I can't read. Really."

"Cut!"

Haruhi quickly rubbed her hands through her hair, "Okay, the cue cards aren't helping!"

"I was worth a shot. You've got a long line." Jin waved off the guys with the cue cards and they scurried off the set, "Nice screaming, Tamaki. Let's take it again, from the top, please."

"Goodbye my beautiful voice," the blond rubbed at his throat, "It's been nice knowing you."

"And cut the sarcasm!"

* The Job of a High School Host! *

Tamaki straightened up, not in the least bit flustered by his previous actions, "Oh, I almost forgot to mention! Next week, the Ouran Host Club is sponsoring a party all up in here!"

Haruhi's eyebrows crinkled in confusion and she turned back towards Tamaki's table, "Did you just say-"

"I know what I said, keep going!"

"Uh… no." Jin made a circling motion above her head, "Reset!" She sat back in her chair with a huff. "You know... the last episode went by so smoothly."

"It was just a phone call between you and your sister."

"That's kind of what I meant."

*\/*

As if on cue, Tamaki spoke again as if he hadn't been weeping like a toddler experiencing a tantrum a few seconds ago, "Definitely not. If you want to be a host that badly, you going to have to show us how far you're willing to go, Haruhi! I order you to master… the Hustle in one week! And you will-"

The blond shook his hands towards the camera before Jin could cut the scene, "Wait, wait, keep it moving, I've got this!"

"O...kay."

"*Ahem* Definitely not. If you want to be a host that badly, you going to have to show us how far you're willing to go, Haruhi! I order you to master the Funky Chicken in one week-"

"Are you just * bleep *-ing with me, Tama-kun?"

"There's too much pressure! You wanna say these lines?"

"Not really. Too hoity-toity for me. Reset! From the top!"

*\/*

"I'm in love-love! From the first -okay, no! I am not reading this thing out loud!" Haruhi crumbled up the script and threw it as far away as possible before turning around to pretend retching.

Kyoya pressed a button that allowed him and Jin to speak into the sound booth, "Haruhi, we need your voice-over for the letter. Please unwad your script."

"Why don't you read it, Kyoya-senpai? You're the one who wrote it!"

Jin looked up at her boyfriend, " You wrote that cheesy letter?"

"No. The twins compiled the actual words. I just edited it."

"And you kept all of that 'love-love' and 'Noah's Ark' stuff? How in the hell did you successfully 'court' me?"

"Luck. And my devilishly handsome good looks."

"Hey." The two looked through the glass and saw Haruhi glaring at them, "Either help me with this stupid voice-over, focus on your jobs, or at the very least flirt with each other with the mic off! "

Kyoya quickly lifted his hand off the mic button.

*\/*

"We're supposed to marry, and I would love to if only she felt the same way. So, if she's been doomed to spend the rest of her life by my side, then maybe by traveling the world I become ta-"

Suzushima cut his failed line off with a loud raspberry, hanging his head in shame and walking towards the door, continuing with the fart noise the whole way. He rounded the corner into the hallway before he ran out of air, promptly joining in with the laughter instead.

Haruhi had to grab the closest chair to keep standing as Jin called for a five minute break for the crew to recollect themselves before trying the scene again.

* How to be an Older Sibling! *

Haruhi went through all her previous photographs as she made her way down the stairs.

"Hey, Haruhi?"

"Wah!" The brunette jumped and dropped her camera. The plastic rectangle tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs, ending up in a pile of shards in the courtyard.

"Uh… oops?"

"Tamaki, the cost for that prop is coming out of your pocket."

"EHH?"

* Beware the Physical Exam! *

"You are absolutely right, Mademoiselle. All bloo… Blooty?" Kyoya double checked his script, which he'd had the foresight to tape to the outside of his old black journal, now merely a 'prop'. Sure enough, where it should say 'beauty', it read 'blooty' instead. On. Paper.

With a completely straight face, the ravenet looked towards the camera and his snickering girlfriend and said, "All blooty is bootiful."

The entire cast cracked up.

*\/*

"What is it now… Daddy? "

Kyoya managed to keep his composure for perhaps a full second before he shuddered, "Ugh!" He started laughing while also pretending to spit the taste of the word from his mouth. Off scene, Jin was trying not to laugh as she spoke to the camera men.

"I, uh… do you think we can just cut to Tama-kun's face right after that? I don't think Kyo-kun can say that phrase… ever again."

"Mon Ami… it wasn't that bad!"

" Really? "

*\/*

"Wow, Kyo-chan! How did you figure out he had the wrong school?"

"Well, there's no way that such a small time doctor... would ever be able to get into Ouran Academy that was absolute * bleep *."

Jin shook her head, "The daughter , Kyo-kun. No way the daughter of such a small time doctor-"

"I know, I know!"

"Kyoya-senpai, how are you messing this up?"

"You're the only one actually holding your script in your hands! "

*\/*

"Kyoya, would you please find a map of all the public schools in the area? I'd like to help this man find his daughter."

There was a slight pause after Tamaki spoke.

"Wh- urp. " Kyoya's face went completely red and he clapped a hand over his mouth. "Oh, god."

His friends were all bent in half they were laughing so hard.

"Nēchan, your boyfriend is gross! "

* Meeting Big Sister *

The hosts froze for a moment before Haruhi shoved the twins to the side and ran out of the circle.

" Nēchan! " She tackle hugged the person who had opened the door and knocked them both backwards into the hallway, Jin falling flat on her back with her sister's weight on top.

"Oof! Haru… I don't think you had that much enthusiasm last time."

"Sorry, Nēchan."

*\/*

"Jin, if you love Haruhi as much as you claim, then why did you go to America for a whole year and leave him behind?"

Jin's smile faded, "Haru and I are both our own separate people, who want different things. It just so happened that there was a school in America that was taking students interested in Accounting from the school I was attending, and I wanted to go. Haru understood. We massa- Massaged? "

Renge called for a cut from behind the camera as the brunette fell sideways on the couch.

"What are words?! My debut is ruined! Goodbye… my beautiful and promising acting career!"

"Huh, maybe you should change careers."

" Shut up. "

*\/*

"Haruhi, your guests are waiting. As for you, Ms. Fujioka…" he inspected her for a moment. Her face was still a little flushed from all of her laughing earlier, and her eyes were sparkling clearly up at his. "Perhaps… for the rest of the day, you can remain at this table and serve your own guests. Would that be alright? It's just for the day, mind you."

Jin's smile dimmed into a playful smirk, "Oh, absolutely not, Mr. Ootori. That's the most terrible idea I've heard all day. Oh no, talking to guests, how will I ever- Mmph! "

Right before she ended her line, Kyoya grabbed her around the waist and kissed her hard , dipping the girl backwards. They straightened up after a few seconds, breathing heavily.

"Wh-wha… Kyoya!" She shoved at his chest, "We've just met! Now the scene's ruined!"

"Apologies, but I had to make amends."

"Amends?"

"If I'd had any sense at all back then, that's exactly what I would've done and we wouldn't have skirted around each other for so long."

His girlfriend blushed as Renge sighed and shouted, "Reset! And keep it in your pants this time , Kyoya-senpai!"

* Attack of the Lady Manager! *

"NO IT ISN'T!" Tamaki's shout caused both of them to jump in place.

"But I thought you wanted her to have a good... bleh bleh le-bleh le- bleh bleh bleh?"

"Cut!" Jin smirked at her boyfriend, who was glaring daggers at the script inside of his journal prop. "Glasses, how about we take away your script pages and try having you just memorize like the rest of us?"

* Jin Study 101! *

Once Haruhi was done with her morning rituals, she went back into the kitchen and saw a plate of pancakes awaiting her on the table. Along with the rest of the Host Club.

"What are you all doing here?"

"Jin-chan made pancakes!"

"They're a part of the scene!"

Jin smiled at her little sister, "They had me make about three batches. I couldn't let the food go to waste and it's close enough to our lunch break. We'll have enough left over for the scene, I promise."

Sighing, Haruhi nodded before taking a seat next to her recently-made boyfriend and piling two fluffy pancakes onto her plate.

Kyoya looked up from his spot at the table, "Jin? Did they provide any other brand of butter?"

"Um…" Jin frowned and opened up the prop fridge made to resemble the one in the Fujioka's apartment, "Yeah. Looks like a high brand one."

"Could you bring it over here?"

"What's the magic word?"

"Bring me the butter." Everyone stopped and stared at the ravenet, who smirked and tacked on a teasing, "Please?"

"Actually, the magic word was 'Broom', but I'll accept your 'Please' because I like your face so much." She walked over, set the butter carton down, and kissed Kyoya's forehead.

Both of them ignored how the rest of the club was giving the cameras faces of disgust.

* The Twins Fight! *

"We take our job very seriously, Boss."

"Last night we-" Kaoru suddenly stopped, his lines slipping from him. Noticing the ways his hands were waving in front of his face, the redhead suddenly moved them to the right side of his body, followed by his left, "Aaa~lohaaa~"

Hikaru clapped his hands and walked away, throwing his head back in laughter. Tamaki snorted, bending over by his waist.

"Cut!" Jin rubbed at her forehead, eyeing the clock outside the windows, "We're never going to get these to processing in time…"

*\/*

"Okay, so which one of us is Hikaru?"

The girls shared a look, "Haru, you point to Kaoru, and I'll point to Hikaru?"

"Absolutely."

The girls pointed at their target and answered in perfect unison again, "Kaoru is on the left, Hikaru is on the right."

"Uh oh! Looks like you got it wrong!"

For a moment, Haruhi and Jin said nothing, then they smiled, "Uh, no, we didn't. I know we're right."

"You guys may look different- I mean alike! * Bleep *" Jin sat down on the floor and curled up into a little ball, "Leave me alone to die."

Hikaru snorted, "Oh come on, Jin-nēchan, it wasn't that bad!"

"I just told a pair of identical twins they look different! "

"Y...eah, okay, that was pretty bad."

*\/*

With a deep sigh, Jin calmly walked over to the fight. Haruhi saw her sister approaching and stood up from her seat, grabbing her lunch as she went. They passed by each other and exchanged a high five. Tag in.

Jin stood on Kaoru's side of the fight and watched as Tamaki was grabbed by Hikaru and thrown for all he was worth. She planted one foot behind her and held up her hands. The blond was caught by the front of his jacket and quickly dragged away from the fight.

What the brunette failed to notice was that the two brothers stopped targeting each other the moment her back was turned, both of them picking up bowls of vanilla pudding and throwing them as hard as they could.

"Heads up, Jin-nēchan!"

"Huh? Ah!"

Tamaki managed to roll out of the way, but Jin didn't have enough reaction time. The pudding splattered all over her body, head to toe. The room burst into applause at the trick well done, even as the Hitachiin twins ran for their lives before Jin recovered from the shock.

She stared blankly ahead, not quite comprehending what just happened. From behind her, she heard a familiar chuckle, "My, my. It looks like your newest 'siblings' got the best of you, Darling. I owe them a thousand yen now, thank you for that."

Scowling, Jin spun around and grabbed Kyoya by his shoulders, squishing their bodies together and getting the sticky food all over Kyoya's front.

"Jin!" The boy shouted in outrage, attempting to pull away from his girlfriend's iron grip as the room started cheering louder, "What are you doing! We can't afford to-" His protests stuttered to a stop when she suddenly turned her head and licked a streak up his neck, taking away the pudding that had moved from her neck to his during the 'hug'.

More than half of the female extras in the room faint as she steps back, smacking her lips together, "Not a bad flavor, if I'm being honest."

"Um…"

"Reset, please!" Renge pressed the palm of her hand against her forehead, "And a quick reminder to our main cast: This is supposed to be rated 'PG'!"

"Um… I'm not sure if that's gonna work out so well in future episodes…"

*\/*

"The truth is I hate your guts!" Jin pressed her fingers to her mouth, more than a little shocked at all the anger in his words. They are faking it… right?

"You took the words right out of my mouth. In fact I hate you so much that I bought a Beelzenef curse doll!"

Tamaki screeched and withdrew to the far corner of the room, watching in horror as Kaoru pulled out a black pen from his jacket pocket, "I'm going 'ta write… I…'m gonna keep talking and then I'll do this next line. From...! Aaaahhhhhh * Bleep bleep ble-bleep *! Why can't I do this * bleep *?!"

"Cut!" Jin laughed, her hands still clasped over Honey's ears, "Cut! Kaoru? How about you go over your lines for that and we'll reset?"

"Thanks," Kaoru frowned, pulling out his script, though it was clear from his eyes he was still cursing inside his head.

*\/*

They started walking towards the twins, where a girl was asking, "So are you two going to keep your wild hair color even though you made up? It's much easier to tell the two of you apart now!"

"Ha, no it isn't."

"Hm?" The twins turned their heads to look at the sisters, who turned around with matching teasing smiles.

"Today the pink one is… one of 'em, and I don't know which one the blue one is. I… I hate them."

"Woah!" Kaoru fell back against his brother, holding a hand over his heart, " Harsh , Haruhi! God! "

"Words can hurt you know!"

"Sorry. Re-do?"

"No! Go away!"

"You've hurt us for the last time! We must leave now… forever!"

The boys walked away, noses in the air. Jin just rolled her eyes, "Right. Well, we're reshooting that scene in about thirty seconds, so you might want to wrap up on that 'forever' business a little quicker. Reset!"

* The Apology *

Haruhi shrugged and walked to the changing rooms in the back, "Works for me."

Just as she pushed the curtain aside, her sister screamed from inside the changing rooms, "Who the * bleep * gave me this dress? Where's my Demeter cosplay?"

She stormed out of the dressing room wearing a green dress the same shade as the robes she should be wearing, but this one was much… skimpier.

It had a deep v-cut that reached all the way down the cleft of her breast and a skirt so short Haruhi was sure her sister's panties were peeking out in the back. Jin's face was red, but it was hard to tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. Tamaki immediately wheeled on the twins.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! I knew I shouldn't have put you two in charge of grabbing our cosplay from storage!"

The twins began laughing, "It was worth it!"

"Look at Kyoya-senpai's face! "

The ravenet was turned around, refusing to look at his girlfriend, but the damage had already been done. Even his ears were turning red as he held his journal in front of his pants in a way he hoped was casual looking enough.

Jin's face was red as well and she shifted, "Um… ten minute break, everyone." And she quickly backed away into the changing rooms.

* The Grade School Host is the Naughty Type! *

"Come closer, lost one. What was it you just called me?" The elementary student came to a stop just a few steps away from where they were grouped. He was eyeing Tamaki a little oddly, but he still answered.

"The King?"

"Ahh! The King! Yes, I am the King of the Ouran Host Club! Long live the Host King!"

Jin rolled her eyes and looked at the kid, "Hello! Welcome to the Ouran Host Club. What's your name?"

"I'm an elementary 5th year. SHIDO TAKAOJI!" The boy pointed at the tall blond, then hesitated, "Was that… too much?"

"Uh…just a little bit."

*\/*

Unfortunately, if Haruhi thought she was going to be able to get away without a few problems herself, she had another thing coming. Shido backed into her as she attempted to carry the tea set away.

Once the glassware was steady again, she glanced down at the boy, "You okay? Don't worry if the guys are acting really strange right now, you'll get used to it. I'm new around here too, and so is my onēchan. It took us a while to get used to- grow used to, I don't know my lines either, Kid. Sorry."

"Reset for my little sister… again ."

As they all reset the scene of Shido insulting each of the Host's mannerisms, the small boy tugged on Haruhi's jacket sleeve, "Just so you know, I knew you were a girl."

"Yeah, we figured. Sorry about having to lie about it."

Tamaki suddenly covered Shido's eyes, "Okay! That's enough! I think Shido should take care of the tea set for you, Haruhi." The twins showed up next, patting Haruhi's head and commenting about how 'manly' she looked.

"Guys? We cut the scene. Guys? Guys! Stop it, you're confusing poor Shido!"

*\/*

"It would seem that right now we have a perfect bleda… da, bleh bleh blebba lebba dabba dabba doo…"

Kyoya turned on his heel and began walking back to his original place, the hosts laughing wildly. Shido let himself hang freely from the actual hooks holding him comfortably against the wall for a moment before returning his feet to the stand sticking out of the fake wall.

*\/*

"If I had to pick a character for him… yes! He's the Naughty Type! Jin-senpai? Could you please place Shido back on the floor so we can begin his training?"

She shrugged, but did as Renge asked.

Jin grabbed the back of Shido's shirt and pulled up… except the boy wouldn't budge. Frowning, she looked around him at the wall and sweatdropped.

"Uh oh."

The boy's head turned, trying to look behind him, "Uh oh? What 'uh oh'? Why 'uh oh'?"

"Ah… your uniform is stuck on one of the hooks."

"Get me unstuck! Get me off this wall! I don't want to be stuck here forever!"

"Shido! Calm down! Ah, someone help!"

Kyoya rubbed at his eyes, "And cut the scene while you're at it!"

*\/*

"Alright. So, Mori-senpai, you're going to open up the janitor's closet, and Kyoya-senpai and Jin-senpai are going to come out. The twins will say their lines, followed by Jin, and then we cut. Got it?"

The tall ravenet gave the girl a 'thumbs up' before moving to his spot.

"Ready? Action!"

Mori quietly slipped out of his hiding place behind the curtain just as their teacher 'extra' disappeared around the set's corner. He nodded as the others crawled out, then looked towards the janitor's closet. Jin and Kyoya weren't coming out. Perhaps they didn't know that the danger had passed?

He walked towards the door, but before he could get close enough it burst open and Kyoya was shoved out into the hallway. He stumbled and fell backwards, managing to keep himself up on his feet by grabbing the door handle of the closet door that had closed as suddenly as it had opened.

There was a very pregnant pause as they all looked at each other, Kyoya growing steadily redder. His hair was a complete mess, sticking out in places like someone had yanked handfuls of it in different directions. Lipstick stains were dotted all over his face and neck, especially around his mouth, tie undone and hanging around his neck with his jacket unbuttoned and completely pulled off of one arm. His white button down was no less rumpled. And, like icing on a cake, his glasses were crooked, almost falling off his nose.

There were a few more seconds of silence before the twins held up their phones and snapped one photo each.

Kyoya's eyes turned murderous and he began chasing the redheads down the hallway, shouting at them to delete the pictures while simultaneously scrubbing at the stains across his skin and fixing his clothes.

Jin slipped out of the closet, lightly dabbing at the dark red lipstick that she definitely hadn't had on a few minutes ago. Despite Kyoya's appearance, she looked just as pristine and poised as when she'd walked into the closet, but there was a mischievous look in her eyes.

Noticing the shocked expressions, she smiled prettily, "What? I don't have any on screen kiss scenes with him until Sunday. I had to find some time to mess around with him before tomorrow."

Renge was fanning herself frantically, scrolling through the photos the twins had sent her as they continued running for their lives, "R-right. W-well… I suppose we'll take a short break to… um… cool down. Excuse me, please."

The others nodded, quickly taking their leave. Jin just smiled and shook her head.

"I don't know why you're acting so surprised. He thought I was leaving, and then that I'd died, and now with his father's approval we're basically engaged. You really thought we'd be more civil after all of that?"

* Operation Jin is Pretty! *

This, of course, just caused Tamaki to shout about how it made more sense than they thought (it didn't) and why couldn't the twins just agree that he was the best candidate to deliver the flowers (they wouldn't) and eventually Kyoya just plucked the roses out of Tamaki's hands and walked into the classroom. He placed the flowers on the girl's chair as the bell rang.

Tamaki followed, pouting, and a few minutes later the rest of the class of 2-A filtered into the room. Quite a few people glanced at the flowers placed in Jin's seat, so by the time she actually walked in the first thing she heard was 'there's something for you on your chair'.

The brunette blinked and walked over to her desk. After staring at the roses for a few seconds, she picked them up and sat down, reading the notes tied to each flower. Tamaki tried not to stare, but he was so excited about seeing her reaction he couldn't sit still.

The girl was quiet as she read the notes, but she was smiling warmly. Until the last one. Her eyes narrowed and she pulled the paper away from her face.

"Wait… who-" her face went beet red and she jumped out of her seat, "Kyoya!"

"Yes, Darling?"

The girl clenched the note in her fist and shook it at him, "Don't you 'Darling' me you kinky * bleep *! This is lewd, even for you!"

From behind the cameras, the twins peeked out from either side of Renge.

"Leeeewd?"

"Even for Kyooooya-senpai?"

Jin, if possible went even redder, "Okay, fine. Payback. I get it. But be very careful going forward, Kyoya Ootori." The girl marched over to his desk, leaning down to his ear and practically purring, " You have no idea what goes through my head when we're alone, do you? "

She nipped at the shell of his earlobe before withdrawing and heading back out into the hallway, slipping the paper into her jacket pocket.

"Let's try that again… Reset!"

*\/*

The ravenet boy didn't even look up from his journal, "And why should I care if Jin likes me or not? It wouldn't matter one way or the other."

The twins smirked, "Say that you don't care about being her friend all you want, Kyoya-senpai."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you're calling her Jin instead of Ms. Fujioka now."

Kyoya stopped writing in his journal, "A slip of the tongue."

" I'm not sure I really want to know where he's been slipping his tongue. "

"What was that, Hikaru?"

"Nothing!"

Jin blushed, the boom mics having picked up on exactly what the twins said and transferring it to her headphones, "Let's… try that scene again."

"What did I tell you?" Renge shook her head, "P. G."

* Jungle Pool SOS! *

The twins, however, looked incredibly confused, "A plastic pool? What's that?"

Haruhi tilted her head back, trying to think, "Let's see… It- ahabada-da poooool goood." Jin snorted.

"Reset! Haruhi, you have your line?"

"Got it, Renge! Sorry!"

*\/*

"Whoo!"

Jin felt water spraying all around her, splashing at her face and just drenching her from head to foot. Man, I'm glad I left my glasses at the table. With all this water I wouldn't have been able to see out of them anyways! The tall girl twisted her lower body and moved to the left side of the surfing modulator. Another twist and she was on the right side.

"Heads up!"

The girl looked ahead of her just in time to catch a beach ball right in the chest.

"Oof!"

Jin tumbled off the board, the rush of water carrying her up to the top. Her foam 'surfboard' knocked her in the head as it followed.

"Ow…" she coughed up the mouthful of water she'd gotten from her unexpected swim before looking at the base of the modulator. Tamaki was screaming at the twins for endangering his 'sister', while they tried to shout over him and apologize.

A warm hand gripped her shoulder, drawing her attention elsewhere, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Jin shook her head, letting Kyoya help her too her feet, "Not the first time I've wiped out."

He was able to kiss her forehead once before Renge shouted through her megaphone, "Reset!" She leaned down on the railing of the high angle camera shot, shutting her eyes, "We're never going to get this done in time... but at least Jin-senpai and Kyoya-senpai didn't made it a sexual 'swimsuit slip' scene."

"Ma'am?"

"What?"

Looking back down at the modulator, Renge groaned and lifted the megaphone once again, "Kyoya-senpai, I'm going to ask you this one time only. Reset and get your hand off Jin-senpai's butt! "

*\/*

"I have a feeling that's where Jin probably ended up. It might be tough because we'll have to make it through this jungle area here . We're talking about 800 meters or so."

Honey reached up and pointed at the question marks on the map, "What are these tre- green… with the jungle 'n stuff." The blond shut up and hung his head in defeat, allowing for Haruhi to pat his head softly as Jin called for a reset.

*\/*

She was more concerned with the fact that the remaining eight guards had guns aiming at Mori and Haruhi. Her sister turned and hugged Mori in terror, and Jin saw a flicker of fear in Mori's eyes.

Hell to the no.

As the two men on either side of her reached to grab her arms, she charged at the one on her right. Before the man could react, she grabbed his gun with her left hand and knocked the guy's head to the side with her right elbow.

Except she missed. Her elbow swung harmlessly in front of the man's face. Even the camera had picked up on how fake it was.

The teenager and the extra stared at each other for a moment before the guy in the suit suddenly crumbled, "Ahhhh! I'm defeated! The light… I'm seeing the light…"

Jin was quick to catch on, letting out an 'evil' laugh, "Mwahahaha! Witness my prowess! My blows need not touch my victim to claim their life! The Dark One is appeased! I have brought down this pitiful soldier, which poor soul shall be my next victim?"

Behind her, Haruhi was gripping onto Mori's arm, trying to stay upright as the two laughed.

* Shelter Mayhem *

"Perhaps I could stand outside and encourage buyers-"

"No good. Buying an animal is different than buying a pair of shoes," Jin mumbled around her apple flavored jolly rancher, "You have to really commit to buying, caring, and loving the animal for a long time."

"But I can juggle really well!"

Jin paused, tilting her head, "You… can?"

"No."

Kyoya resisted the urge to face-palm, "Reset… for my idiot best friend."

*\/*

Her sister rolled her eyes, "Besides, I don't have the time to read over every adoption paper before I deliver it, and I doubt anyone else here is going to see the amusement of Tamaki adopting twenty dogs at once."

Kyoya looked out the window again just as Tamaki was tripped by the smallest dog, leading to a 'lick-fest', "I'll try to contain him as best as I can, but no promises." The girls nodded and the three watched the playfulness for another few moments.

As they watched Tamaki be nuzzled and stepped on by multiple dogs, Kyoya cast a wary look towards the shorter of the two girls. But a sudden scream made him look back outside quickly. Tamaki was now curled up on his side, holding his hands in his lap with a look of pain.

Kyoya grimaced, "Ouch."

"Uh… let's get Tamaki-senpai to the First-Aid tent and film the inside scene. I think we have what we need from him."

*\/*

Kyoya didn't get a chance to respond because the twins raced past them again, still searching for some cleaning material, and Jin shouted after them, "One of you is going to fall and die and I am not cleaning it up!"

Literally not two seconds after she said that, Hikaru rounded the corner of the cages and ran face-first into a low-hanging sign, falling flat on his back.

"Hikaru!"

The three other 'actors' rushed to the fallen boy's side as Renge lounged in her 'stand-in' Director's chair, "At this point, I'm not even surprised. Cut the scene and take him to the First-Aid tent! We'll wait to do this scene at the end once Hikaru recovers!"

"You all saw that, right? I did warn him!"

* The Sun, the Beach, and the Host Club! *

"Hey, do you think that for this time around, I could wear a less revealing swimsuit? I mean… I know we're going for authenticity, but there are some corners we could cut, right?"

Kyoya glanced up from his actual journal and eyed his girlfriend. She was wearing a very familiar black bikini and was tugging at the left strap so she wouldn't fall out of the top.

"I think the * bleep * not."

Her eyes lifted to meet his, pupils dilating ever so slightly before the twins burst into the changing rooms and grabbed Jin by her arms.

"You're on, Jin-nēchan!"

"And Renge's assigned us to be your relationship censors until tomorrow evening!"

"Our what? "

*\/*

Kyoya glanced down at the pad of paper in her arms, recognizing the cover, "What is that? A textbook?"

"What? No, it's for my drawings. A sketchbook." Her face turned doubtful, "You have seen a sketchbook before, right?"

"Of course I have," Kyoya held out a hand, "May I?"

The girl handed it over, "Sure. I'm not quite done with the last one though." As soon as she said that, Kyoya quickly flipped to the final drawing and stared at it for a few moments.

"This is a drawing of Hikaru and Kaoru?"

"Yeah."

The boy nodded before flipping backwards in the sketchbook, pausing every so often to look over the drawings in detail. It wasn't until he got more than halfway back to the front that he spoke at all.

"These are all... quite amazing! I'm impressed! Did you draw each of these freehanded? You have… oh. "

Frowning, Jin peered over her boyfriend's shoulder and paled, "Ah!" She tries to take the sketchbook back, but he pulls it away, "You weren't supposed to see that! I thought I'd ripped it out!"

"Oh my . That's me , isn't it? I had no idea…"

"Kyoyaaaa…"

"Cut!" Renge scowled and threw the megaphone down before walking away, "PG. A PG rated documentary. That's all I ask for."

*\/*

"Think I can get a tan from all this fake sunlight?"

*\/*

"And I have the perfect prize for the game's lucky winner." Kyoya smiled deviously as he revealed three photos of Haruhi in her younger years. There was even a volleyball shot. He'd had a feeling that these photos would come in handy at some point.

Except his friends weren't staring at the photos with want. They… actually looked a little shell-shocked.

"What?"

They cracked up, falling to the sand and pounding the ground with their fists. A terrifying idea came to mind and Kyoya quickly turned the photos around to stare at them.

The pictures weren't of Haruhi… their were of him.

Embarrassing snapshots of him getting stuck in cosplay, falling asleep with his mouth open on the Fujioka's couch and a sharpie mustache on his upper lip, and even one of the photos the twins had taken on their phone earlier with him looking like a hot mess.

" JIN! "

*\/*

"Jin, look!"

The brunette lifted her gaze up from the sand and saw three familiar looking forms running towards them. It looked to be Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyoya. She raised a hand to wave just as something barely glanced across the right side of her head, fake glass scattering into the sand.

"Whoops." The extra sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, holding up the neck of the breakaway bottle, "Ah… can we go another time?"

"Ha! You can't harm me!"

*\/*

"You're stronger and faster than I am! There's a doctor who-save-" Kyoya growled and released Mori's arm, "-someone saves!"

The scene fell apart and Jin perked up in her friend's arms, holding up a hand, "I can save."

"Shut up."

The girl nodded and went limp again.

*\/*

Kyoya struggled to keep a blank face while Jin panicked, but not even a few seconds later the girl scowled at him, leaning back into her pillows, "I suppose you think you're some comedic genius?"

He smirked, "Quite. Your face was priceless."

Jin grabbed the pillow that he'd stuffed by her left side and swatted the boy with it, "Since when did you stop acting like a stuck-up prick?"

"Since I realized how delicious you looked in your black bikini."

The next swat hit him dead center in the face as she laughed, Hikaru and Kaoru walking onto the set and dragging their senpai away.

"We'll bring him back when his hormones have died down, Jin-nēchan!"

"No, we don't have time! Bring him back!" Renge looked around her chair, "Where is my megaphone?"

"Cake break!"

"Honey-senpai! That's not a toy!"

*\/*

The ravenet to Jin's left patted his lips with his cloth napkin, "Very well. Excuse me, everyone." The two boys walked silently out of the room. The doors banged shut and Haruhi's head dropped.

"Maybe he's right… I should... learn how to read. Someone get those cue card's out of here!"

"Cue card holders? Head home! Now, if only the rest of you would stop messing around and we could do the same!"

*\/*

The younger Fujioka stared at her sister for another few moments before reaching up to rub at her bare arms, "Guys… I'm really sorry..."

Instantly everyone was hugging Haruhi, cooing over how cute she was and forgiving her immediately, but she wasn't done.

"-that I'm about to puke… all over you."

They let her go really quick after that.

*\/*

"... What the * bleep * is this scene?"

"Uh, Jin? Could I speak with you out in private for a moment?"

The two slipped into the hallway for maybe thirty seconds before, "KYOYA OOTORI YOU DID WHAT TO MY BABY SISTER?"

*\/*

"You won't do it. It wouldn't do you any good, or give you a benefit..."

Kyoya regarded her blankly for a moment, almost like he hadn't heard her. Then his lips curved in an amused smirk, the closest he probably would ever come to smiling, before pulling away. He appeared to be holding back his amusement as he brought a hand up to rearrange his hair, "I suppose you're right, in your own way."

"-and… that you look great, without your shirt on. I can see why Nēchan fancies you."

"Ah, so that's what it was. I was wondering what finally convinced her to like me. Is it the same with you and Tamaki?"

"Nah. He takes his shirt off too much for it to really leave an impact, while you don't do it as often. I think it was more the fact he can speak French."

"Cut! Can you two have tea over your love lives after we finish shooting?"

"Sure!" They raised a thumbs up at the camera, where Jin was shaking her head, still a little mad, but also amused.

*\/*

Hearing the sounds of shifting fabric, Jin peeked through her eyelids and saw a shirtless Kyoya holding a bottle of water out for her. She smiled gratefully and took it, "Thanks. Do you think you could put a shirt on, now?"

"First, it's no problem. Second… why should I? Is it distracting you?"

Kyoya's hands pressed against the armrests of her chair, leaning closer to his girlfriend's face. Somehow, she managed to keep a steady voice when she responded, "Not at all. But if you keep it off for too long I might start a petition for me to replace Haruhi in that last scene we shot."

"I have no opposition to the idea. Though I will very likely not follow the script in that scene."

"Cut!" Renge marched over and grabbed Kyoya by the ear, dragging him away, "In. Your. Pants , you two!"

* Road Trip with the Fujioka's! *

Haruhi only laughed in response and rooted around in the large bag at her feet, "I'm going check our stuff one more time to make sure we didn't forget anything."

"Better hurry, Haru. We're coming up on the exit for the Tohoku expressway. No turning back once we hit the toll booth."

"Okay, okay, I'm hurrying!" The short haired girl patted the very front pocket, feeling the shapes pressed against in, "First aid kit for small injuries. Car charger for our phones." She unzipped the main pocket, "For me, two textbooks and The Lightning Thief and for you, one beginners book on the Swedish language. An aux cord. Two water bottles. Cheez-it… what the?"

Her fingers closed around a square-shaped wrapper and pulled it out, blushing a dark red but also smirking and holding it out towards her sister when she realized what it was, "Ah… I think this is a gift for you. "

Jin lifted her hands from the wheel and jumped out of the car. The blurring landscape they had rolling by the windows was making her dizzy, but she managed to climb off the set and start chasing the twins around.

"Stop putting condoms in all of my props!"

Kyoya frowned and glanced at his prop journal. Not having a good feeling, he grabbed the spine and lifted. No less than three extra-small condoms fell out onto the table. A light pink blush reached his cheeks as he turned to glare at the running trio.

"Hikaru, Kaoru? As much as I appreciate the gesture, I don't think we're the same size."

"Cut! Throw those things away and reset! Hikaru and Kaoru, you're in the time-out corner for five minutes!"

"Awww…" the redheads moped all the way to the far corner of the room, where a sign that read 'Dirty Joke Makers' with a down-pointing arrow done hastily in blue sharpie was pinned above it on the wall.

*\/*

Kyoya leaned back in his seat, a little too uncomfortable to be completely satisfied, "Except for the Fujioka girls, it would seem. And don't forget the original plan was for us to be in the same car as them, which would've been even more cramped. Face it, Tamaki, you didn't think this 'trip' all the way through."

"* Bleep * off."

The twins perked up and whistled, "Wow, Boss…"

"We didn't think you had it in you…"

"Neither did I. I guess Kyoya just brings out the worst in me."

"My girlfriend can hurt you."

*\/*

"Okay, now it's my turn-"

Screech!

"AHH!" The car braked really hard and the eight occupants were sent forward, being caught by their seat belts. They screamed and clutched at each other or various parts of the car interior. Kyoya's glasses slipped off the end of his nose and fell onto the floor before he could snag them.

" Merde! "

"Ow!"

The car stopped braking and everyone was sent back into their seats with racing heartbeats. Kyoya reached down and felt around for his glasses. Thankfully they hadn't fallen beneath the seat in front of him, and he quickly jammed them onto his face.

"I'm so sorry, Haru! Are you okay?"

He looked towards the front of the car. Jin had her left arm swung out in front of Haruhi, except she'd put it up too high and smacked her sister in the nose. Haruhi was cradling her face, but offered a thumbs up to the cameras outside the window.

"We're good… go again!"

*\/*

"Okay, now it's my turn-"

Screech!

"AHH!" The car braked really hard and the eight occupants were sent forward, being caught by their seat belts. They screamed and clutched at each other or various parts of the car interior. Kyoya's glasses slipped off the end of his nose and fell onto the floor before he could snag them.

" Merde! "

The car stopped braking and everyone was sent back into their seats with racing heartbeats. Kyoya reached down and felt around for his glasses. Thankfully they hadn't fallen beneath the seat in front of him, and he quickly jammed them onto his face. He looked towards the front of the car. Jin had her left arm swung out in front of Haruhi, but retracted it as soon as Kyoya saw and placed both hands back on the steering wheel.

She snarled at the car in front of them and slammed her hand on the horn for two seconds, " Salaud! En-aaaah-la-la-laaaaa! "

The hosts laughed as Jin went from cursing to singing gibberish.

*\/*

"Okay, now it's my turn-"

Screech!

"AHH!" The car braked really hard and the eight occupants were sent forward, being caught by their seat belts. They screamed and clutched at each other or various parts of the car interior. Kyoya's glasses slipped off the end of his nose and fell onto the floor before he could snag them.

" Merde! "

The car stopped braking and everyone was sent back into their seats with racing heartbeats. Kyoya reached down and felt around for his glasses. Thankfully they hadn't fallen beneath the seat in front of him, and he quickly jammed them onto his face. He looked towards the front of the car. Jin had her left arm swung out in front of Haruhi, but retracted it as soon as Kyoya saw and placed both hands back on the steering wheel.

She snarled at the car in front of them and slammed her hand on the horn for two seconds, " Salaud! Enule! Va te faire voir! "

Tamaki lets out a strangled gasp and stares at the girl, horrified, "JIN FUJIOBL-AHHHH bleh-bleh bla-bla!" The blond boy rubbed at his face as the others laughed, "Names! Words! Mean nothing to me, they do!"

Renge's grip on her megaphone was so hard her fingers were growing white, "As much as you're all having fun… none of us can go home until we get this episode done! So will you please focus!? "

"I've kept it 'in my pants' this time, Renge. Am I doing a good job?"

" Kyoya-senpai so help me I will put you on the morning set-up crew DO NOT TEST ME RIGHT NOW! "

* Time Skip *

"Okay…" Jin frowned at the list of 'episodes' they had cobbled together from all the things the host club had done together between Haruhi joining and Haruhi revealing her gender, "So that… sixteen episodes."

"Out of fifty! "

"Yeah… tomorrow's going to be busy. Well, at least we'll have the rest of the evening to study our scripts. That should help."

Renge didn't respond. She just grumbled and stormed out the door. Jin resisted the urge to shout after her that it had been her idea.