Change

I remembered more memories again. More memories that big brother wasn't in. Is that what life without big brother would be like? If so, then I don't want it to be real. The feeling of loneliness and pain. Even the face I have now feels just like a dream.

I want to treat it like a bad dream, I don't know why, but the world without big brother seemed much more real. I looked at Alex, in my dream we were not friends. The only look he gave me was a look of disgust. When he got kidnaped, I didn't care. I didn't have any friends in my dream. I couldn't even talk well.

I looked at big brother Angel. Why do you exist? Do you have a family? Why did you promise to say with me? Are you real? I touched his face and squeezed his cheeks. He felt real, then I touched Alex's face but he stepped back before I could squeeze his cheeks. I wanted to pinch his cheeks too.

"Are you hungry D-James?"Asked Angel. I just looked at him until my stomach rumbled. I nodded in his direction, he grabbed my hand in response.

"Hmmmm, I placed my other hand under my chin, and let Angel pull me to food.

This time I remembered living until the age of five. Like the last time I got back these weird memories. It was like I was there in person reliving every second of it. The two sets of memories didn't mix together because they were so different. Even the feelings were different.

Life with big brother brought a warm and fuzzy feeling, a life full of sunshine and delicious food. Life without big brother was alone and cold, like I was a dead spider that no one cared about. At least this time I didn't have to experience the pain of my face, being burnt again. But the pain my heart felt was much worse than last time.

My heart felt like someone was gripping it in their hand, and slowly burning it into ash. The ash blown in the wind unable to be put back together. I don't know why but my heart still hurts even after the dream.

"James, James!" I looked up to see two worried faces. I looked down to see a plate full of food. I started to eat my food in silence. Why wont my heart stop hurting? And why even with the pain in my heart, do I feel so empty? I looked up again after finishing my food and realized I was the only one eating. Angel and Alex were just staring at me.

"What?" I asked hoping they would stop staring at me. I don't like when people look at me. I touched my face thinking maybe it was burnt again. My face was smooth and soft. What did they want?

"You seem a bit different." Said Alex still looking at me. I was still touching my face. Maybe I am a bit different.

"Ohh," I said in reply. I continued touching my face. It's so weird that my face is not crispy. I pinched my cheeks and pulled them, and It didn't hurt. It was kind of calming, touching my face.

"James, what's on your face? Asked Angel with a worried look in his eyes.

"My face." I replied while puling my face into a smile.

"Can you please stop touching your face." Asked Angel with a smile on his face. I listened and stoped touching my face. I can always touch my face later. Alex looked at me like I was some weird potato.

"Are you excited about your new school Alex?" Asked Angel.

"Yes, my other siblings go to school there." Answered Alex.

I reached my hand into my mouth and pulled out my front tooth on the left. I forgot that tooth was loose.

Alex and Angel looked at me in shock. What were they so shocked about? Teeth fall out and grows back. It's normal at this age right? Or maybe I really am weird.

"Are you okay?!" Shouted Alex in shock. Angel pulled a phone out of nowhere and he seemed to be typing something.

"Alex don't worry, I searched this up online and apparently this is normal. You will also loss your baby teeth soon." said Angel in a confident voice. Alex's face visibly relaxed.

I walked to a trash bin and threw my tooth away. Then I walked back to Alex and Angel. Even if they were not there for me in my other life, they are here for me now and thats all that matters. I smiled at their direction. They both smiled back at me. They looked similar with their blond hair, the only difference is that Angel had blue eye and Alex had green eyes.

" I guess it's time to leave now," said Angel the smile leaving his face. Why does he look so sad? Does he want to leave me and stay here.

"You guys can stay for dinner, my butler is already making food for you. It will be too much for me to eat alone." Said Alex quickly with a smile on his face.

"Ok we will stay longer," said Angel for no reason. What was the point of saying that after Alex said we could stay for dinner. I just don't understand. Why talk for no reason?

"It's rare that I get to eat with other people, so I'm happy you are staying longer." Alex was still smiling. Does his face hurt smiling so long? Then I looked at his face and realized why it wasn't hurting. His face is not crispy and dry that's why.

"Does your dad not eat with you?" Questioned Angel with a smile on his face. Why are they both smiling? Them smiling makes me want to smile.

"I normally watch videos and eat alone, But dad visits me every couple of months." Said Alex with a smile on his face, like that was normal. From the memories I have of my dad, I know that's not normal. Even if dad didn't like me, he was always there. Seeing the smile on Alex's face I started to doubt myself. Maybe when parents like you, they aren't always there.

Alex started to teach me how to use the phone he gave me. While waiting for dinner to be prepared. He helped me make a password and put my fingerprint on it. I picked the day I met Angel to be my password, after Alex told me not to use my birthday. I also changed my background to a picture of me. I was amazed at how cute I looked.

"Thanks," was my reply to his help, and for the gift. Now I can look at myself all the time.

"You're welcome James," said Alex in reply to my thanks. He was still smiling.

After helping me he went to help Angel, but he said "I already know how." So we all ate dinner together, after the guy in the weird outfit called us down.

The guy in the weird outfit was staring at Angel's dinner plate in shock but I seemed to be the only one who noticed. We all ate dinner in silence.

After dinner Alex called someone on his phone, and the driver came to drive us home. By the time we got back home, everyone was sleeping but big brother Ace.

He was just staring at my bed with black bags under his eyes. He seem to be mumbling something. I walked over to him and pinched his cheeks. His face felt rough and not very soft.

"Hmmmm," why is his face rough is this normal?

"James what are you doing?" Said Angel after he walked into the room. I looked down and realized I was still pinching Alex's cheeks.

"Touching his face, he didn't stop me." I replied to Angel's stupid question. I then started to feel other places on his face. His face is not completely rough it was even bumpy in some places.

"Hmmmm," That's weird.

"Stop touching his face James he looks scared," said Angel. I looked down at Ace and saw that he really looked scared so I stoped. I touched my face again thinking It was burnt, and watched as Angel walked over to Ace and pat his back until he fell asleep. He did it so naturally, like this wasn't the first time.

Before I could ask if this was normal, Angel fell asleep. So I closed my eyes and fell asleep soon after.