My truths

"Mes vérités"

10-09-19

My name is Layla Marie Johnson I'm 14 and I was born on June 17, 2005 that makes me a Gemini born in the year of the rooster

People say that makes me two faces and many will say it's true, which now that I think about it doesn't sound good saying it out loud and the whole rooster thing is an important but I just wanted to throw it in there since I learned it in third grade

I never go to church but I trie to pry every night when I go to sleep not just when things get tuff cuz I do believe in god even when he doesn't believe in me

All my life I have hated reading but that doesn't mean that I'm not a sucker for Romance books

"the little prince" is and always will be my absolute favorite story right next to "a bad case of stripes" and "Delilah D at the library"

I am so trash at reading that at this point in life I settle for audiobook but honestly I think there better

I have a love for writing and I am actually pretty good at it but have been made very aware by the people around me the writing career as an achievable for a person like me

When I was little I would change my favorite color every year on my birthday for no reason but I was committed to it

thinking about it now I think 3 year old me was on to something making a yearly reminder of the fact that nothing last forever but

at the moment it is rose gold to remind myself of all my goals in life and I think it will stay that for a while

My 6th grade year was the grate depression of my life and since then that feeling of sad and loneliness hasn't left my Spirit completely

Sometimes I look up at the stars wondering what it would be like to be like them never bothered but never lonely

Or I look at the sunset to feel a sense of peace for just a single moment

I haven't felt comfortable in my own body since I was 7 people constantly talking about my appearance and my weight has made it fell like it's a shell that drags me down for the last few years from my hair to my toes

Replaying of everything in my brain hasn't stoped and at this point I think it never will

my thought run on repeat Cluttering my head so bad that I can't think straight sometimes

My friend mean everything to me but I still haven't worked up enough courage to tell them when something is wrong instead I cover how I fell with anger

I am the type of person to put on a mask every morning when I wake up and refuse to take it off unless I'm alone

My anxiety has gotten so bad that I can't even stand in a line by myself and when I do I start to shake then the voice in my head start to tell me to run but me feet won't move like there glued to the ground with the strongest substance in the world

Which is crazy considering I've ran track since the fifth grade and that help me through a lot right along with writing poems and journaling my feelings

I am always wondering what people say about me especially because I think that everyone secretly hates me,

like they just use me for what I have to give which is probably half way true

I am the person that trust nobody wether they did something to me or not it doesn't mater it takes a lot out of me to trust and if or when someone betrays me or anyone I love a peace of my hart is crushed for good

I think music is the only thing that understands me from start to end every lyric speaks to my sole

That's probably the reason I can only explain how I fell with sharp metaphors that can cut like razor blades to flesh

I never go to church but I trie to pry every night when I go to sleep not just when things get tuff cuz I do believe in god even when he doesn't believe in me

My name is Layla Marie Johnson I am 14

I was born on June 17, 2005 which makes me a Gemini but that doesn't explain all the things I fell

Sincerely, the truth