Chapter 5: Realisation

The lecturer announced their latest assignment needed to be done in one week. They had to do a group assignment which was the real problem to Tsubasa. She barely had friends in the class even though the classmates were 56 people in total. Everyone has almost avoided her in every aspect as long as they would not have anything related to her. She was not taking it in, but it surely infected her when it came to group work.

The ice in her orange juice melted as the time flew. Tsubasa exhaled a very long sigh. She practically had no problem working with people, but the way people treated her was pissing her off. She knew she was not like other girls who liked make ups, beautiful dresses, sweet desserts, and stuffs. She underwent her life as normal as how she used to since she was small. It irritated her too much when people kept on mocking her lifestyle, while she has never commented anything regarding theirs.

Gah! She should have been in the Library of Amethyst College by now. Due to her lack of emotional support, she felt much safer and recollected by sitting in the library. Whenever she was hurt, she would heal herself in the library and she has found the most suitable spot to do so; at that Takato man's usual table.

The entrance was opened. She appeared at the doorframe. Everyone in the library did not pay attention to her, which calmed herself even more because it meant she could do anything. She accosted Mayumi and Akiko at the counter and paced further into the reading section. The very first thing she looked up was the usual table, but the difference was there was no that-Takato-man there. Moreover, there was no one sitting at the table, which confused her because the section had the most people compared to other sections in the library. While frowning, she settled down at the table, took out her books and stationeries, and began jotting for her group assignment.

One hour. Two hours. Three hours have passed. Tsubasa glanced at her watch to be informed it has been three hours after her arrival on that day, but there was no sign of the upcoming that-Takato-man. She denied the fact that Takato was playing truant, but she could not confirm it because she never asked him about his disappearance on every Monday.

Monday?

She glanced at her watch again. It was Thursday, and it was not supposed to be the day Takato has always absented. She clicked her tongue, thinking hard on any possibility happening at Takato. She checked on her WhatsApp groups and other official social media, but none of them mentioned about a student named Takato.

"You look worried."

That familiar voice did not hesitate Tsubasa to turn around. Takuya tilted his head on one side, signalling her to reveal the whole situation. She rolled her eyes, as if she was displeased by his presence. But she did not hate it too much. Takuya naturally settled down at the spot where Takato always sat; right across Tsubasa's side.

It felt kind of slack. It did not feel right. The identity was totally contrasting. The one sitting across the table was not Takato. The vibe was dissimilar. Tsubasa could not hold her face-up longer so she lowered her head instead of leading her view affront. She was being comfortable by just listening without the need to catch a glimpse of this Takuya man.

"I'm all ears," Takuya added with his very concerned face.

Tsubasa pursed her lips, contemplating on divulging. She intentionally fixed her eyes on random directions including the book shelves. Takuya propped his chin, waiting for the ultimate revelation of Tsubasa. Tsubasa cleared her throat. "You see. I have a group assignment and we have to finish it in one week starting from today. The problem is none of my group members are good to me. From this point, I don't think we could achieve what people called collaboration."

"Why did you choose those who are in bad term with you?"

"Our lecturer decided the groups."

"All right," Takuya nodded understanding the story.

A long sigh escaped from Tsubasa. "How I hope group work doesn't exist in my course."

"It must be!" Takuya pumped his fist in the air. "Collaboration teaches you to appreciate people more."

"Yeah, right," Tsubasa smirked practically at him. She was so sure he noticed the smirk, but he responded nothing to it. It could be either he was too dumb to realize or he really picked to knowingly paste a very solemn face so that she would feel furious.

"Then, what are you doing here?" Takuya glanced at the papers and stationeries on the table. "You did a plan for the assignment?"

"I can't help but to kick off," Tsubasa gently pushed a page to him. "Whether they are here or not, I must start the effort. Just in case if they play around too much, I will just stick to my plan and do it alone.���

"Don't you think you are the one lacking the responsibility as a member of your group?"

Tsubasa blinked in confuse. "You mean, I caused them to seclude me all these while?"

"Not really," Takuya shrugged, "It is more to my point of view. I think probably your friends are just afraid of befriending you."

Tsubasa widened her eyes as she stared at Takuya. However, this Takuya man did not quiver even a little. He was firm with his opinion, and he might be telling it to make her comprehend the realism. He even curved a soft smile which throbbed the heart of Tsubasa.

The kind of smile gave off lovely but psychotic ambience.

"Or are you actually a severely shy type?"

"I won't have you here by now if that so."

"Then, why are your classmates putting distance between them and you?"

"I don't know. Probably because of my atypical personality."

"You are still a girl though."

Tsubasa rolled her eyes in disagreement. "I am okay with everyone. I can cope, I can blend in. It's just that those I've tried to befriend with could not really accept who I am, or how I am."

"Do you ever think of transforming yourself instead of ranting?"

There was a pause before Takuya proceeded, "The fact that you are stubborn enough to not notice why people keep on avoiding you, is the actual reason why you lack of friends."

Tsubasa peeped Takuya by her eye tips. "What do you mean?"

"You believe that you are different from other people, but in reality, you are the one setting up the gap between you guys. I'm so sorry if this may hurt your feeling, and I won't blame you if you choose to not talk to me afterwards, but to me you are just the same as the others. You have vision, you have what you like. The same goes for other people. What differentiates them and you is what each of you fond of. Having someone with the same hobby as you is a special case, but at least you ought to get one close friend for your studies. At least."

Takuya halted as he saw Tsubasa did not seem to listen very well. He thought she disliked the topic. Considering reading was her main hobby, he could guess long talk might bore her. He waited for her response, which was a vain. Tsubasa did not, and she even turned to deaf ear.

"See? You don't even listen to me."

"Do I have to?"

Takuya ogled at her. He was very displeased with the way Tsubasa reacted. He should not have interfered into her life since day one. He then sighed. "Tsubasa, in my opinion, you are the one in need to change. It's actually you who shuns. It could be people have been attempting on befriending you, but you reject the effort too much until you don't realize the fact. I wonder if you are actually being picky in finding companions."

There was an awkward silence overwhelming them. It was paradoxically quiet, with one party kept on staring while the other party still evaded the look. Both refused to break the silence until a student passed by to go to the section near to them. Tsubasa blinked as she could not withstand the pressure. This Takuya man might be right from the start. It could be she was the problematic one, and she denied the whole matter to relieve the hurtful pride she has had. If only she was not the bad one, there must be one or two of her classmates able to approach her, and got closer to her in classes and such.

Frankly, she has grasped this actuality. She comprehended everything, completely. She denied it – she was the egoistic one.

"You know," Tsubasa propped her chin, "You talk more than the one sitting across my table all these while, but you give almost the same vibe as him. Being with both of you makes my genuine self comes out," she began smiling. "Too bad he is not coming today. I guess he is busy."

"Sitting across your table?" Takuya's tensed face loosened. He has become his usual self, "There must be many people sitting at my current seat since the first day you arrived here."

"Not really," Tsubasa chuckled at the end of her line, "Since the first day I came here, I've been sitting at this table, and I never got other people sharing this table. It would always be him, as if we've promised to sit here together. However, the truth is," she lowered her voice, being aware of her voice since she literally got excited, "He and I never talk to each other."

"Eh?" It was a rarity to witness the frowning Takuya, but he broke the record in front of Tsubasa. "You just sounded it like both of you were soul mates, but you guys never talk to each other?"

Tsubasa giggled at her own experience. It was not something critical. It was more to comical. Honestly, having the same person sharing the table for the whole month, up to the point she could discover what his habit and stuffs, was already outrageous. "There is something bothering me about him though. I think he's a novelist, but he handwrites instead of typing. I've never seen him talking to people but the librarian, only because he could not find the book he looked for – just that. I once saw his name at his matric card but I failed to acknowledge his course."

Takuya's mouth made an O. "So what about him that bothered you?"

Tsubasa shrugged. "Just… everything about him. His background, his personality. Where he comes from. Who he befriends with. How he eats daily since as fas as I know authors rarely have free time. I want to know about his novel too. Basically, every single thing about him."

"What makes you wanting to do so?"

She thought of it quite thoroughly, "Probably I like his routine which could mean he is a loyal man. I don't think I could keep up with handwriting, but he is undoubtedly able to do it every day."

Takuya could not hold his laugh. It felt like a dream that Tsubasa was so strained five minutes ago, and now she was all enthralled when it came to that man. He laughed until tears evidently emanated from his eye tips. Tsubasa rolled her eyes, pissed off by Takuya's dissatisfying reaction.

"Laugh all you want," she grumbled disapproving.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," then he continued laughing.

The sky was adjusting its colour. Time surely flew. They did not realize of the creeping dusk. Tsubasa remembered that she needed to buy raw ingredient for her dinner, hence she began tidying up and prepared to go home.

"This is just as to doubly confirm," She ensured her zipped backpack and was about to leave the table when Takuya suddenly inquired her. "What's the name of the man you've mentioned to me just now?"

Tsubasa was a little surprised, but then she replied with a beam, "His name is Takato."