Chapter 103 - Kota & His Mom

[You have died.]

[Your consciousness shall fade to nothingness shortly.]

'...So, this is it, then,' Kota thought, his words swallowed by the oppressive void. He looked down, or at least he thought he did—there was no body, no ground, no light. Just an endless abyss, suffocating and silent. Even his thoughts felt muted, as if the void itself sought to extinguish every trace of his existence.

'...'

'Varolia probably won't come to pull me out of this; I doubt she could even if she wanted to,' he mused somberly, his thoughts drifting to the memory of his arrival in this world.

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Over a thousand years ago—Kota's first day after transmigrating..

'So, I have an immortality skill?' he thought, staring at the status window floating before him.

Active Skill: [Undying Repossession]

Description:

You are able to possess a person you kill, taking over their body. Be warned, the cooldown for this skill is 50 years. Choose your targets wisely.

'This skill sucks so much ass,' he sighed inwardly. 'Though, I guess it doesn't matter. I have no one in this world anyway. No one… except Varolia.'

The thought of her brought a faint blush to his cheeks. 'All I have to do is what she asks. To never fail. She despises failure. She's warm… but only to the competent.'

His fists clenched. 'My "original" mother could be warm to anyone—anyone but me. It didn't matter if I was competent or not.'

A bitter memory resurfaced: his mother's teary eyes watching him leave through the portal. He pushed it away; denying it ever happened.

'Good riddance. That's what you're probably saying right now, huh, Mom?' His gaze turned skyward, almost as if he could see her face in the drifting clouds.

'Well, I'm saying it too.' His jaw tightened. 'I'm in a place now where I'm valued for who I am. Where I'm praised for doing what's required. Where I'm loved. You'll see, Mom. You'll see how much I could've done for you—if only you'd broken that damn bottle and actually looked at me.'

His teeth clenched so hard his jaw ached. 'I'm not worthless to her. So I'm not worthless.'

The sky above seemed to mock him, but Kota didn't flinch. He glared at the clouds, defiant.

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Back in the darkness…

Kota stood still in the void, the memory fading. The battle against Van Hellix was hard-fought, yet he'd lost. Wrath and defiance had fueled him until the bitter end. He'd been competent. He'd been enough.

And yet… as the oppressive silence wrapped around him, Kota oddly understood what he was feeling now. It wasn't rage. It wasn't frustration.

It was something else.

Acceptance.

"So, I am worthless, after all," Kota muttered, his voice empty, his expression hollow. The oppressive darkness crept closer, swallowing him bit by bit.

'If I managed to fail Varolia, of all people, then I am worthless. Period,' he thought bitterly, his gaze fixed on the void. The crushing silence pressed against him, drawing out a familiar image—a face he hadn't seen clearly in centuries.

'How strange,' he mused, his tone detached even in his mind. 'In this moment, just before I'm lost forever, I can see your face, Mother. I'd forgotten how you looked, you know? Time blurred the details, but now… now it's clearer than ever.' The face grew sharper in his mind's eye, drawing closer as if reaching for him.

He took a deep breath, his chest tightening. 'You were right, Mother,' he admitted, his thoughts heavy. 'I am worthless, just as you always said. Even after thousands of years, countless battles, and everything I've achieved… I lost my temper at the finish line. I threw it all away, even.'

The memories flooded back—the victories, the failures, the moments he believed he'd risen above her words, only for them to echo now, louder than ever.

'Fits me like a glove, doesn't it?' Kota thought with a somber chuckle, lowering his head in resignation.

'Go on. Say it,' he thought bitterly as the image of his mother loomed closer, her presence almost tangible, just an inch away. 'Tell me how worthless I—'

"Never," her voice interrupted, soft yet firm, reverberating through the void.

'…!!!' Kota's eyes widened, his breath hitching as he felt her warmth. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, and her hand gently brushed through his hair. It was a sensation so foreign, yet so familiar, it left him trembling.

And then, something played in his mind; a memory that wasn't his.

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"Kota… Kota…" his mother sobbed, her body slumped over the dining table. Empty bottles surrounded her as tears streamed down her face.

"We're sorry, miss," an officer said two weeks later, his voice clipped yet filled with pity. "It's as if… he vanished from the face of the Earth. But we will find him."

"Come back, Kota…" she wept, clutching her face in her hands. "I'm sorry… I'll stop drinking, I swear… just… don't leave me…"

Months passed.

"Kota… Come back…"

A year.

She stood in Kota's abandoned room, her gaunt face pale and lifeless. A bottle of pills dangled loosely in her hand as her empty gaze fixed on his old computer chair.

"Wherever you've taken my son… whoever, whatever you are…" she murmured into the suffocating silence of his room.

Tears streaked her hollow cheeks, her voice trembling as she whispered, "Please… please, take me to him…" She tipped her head back and swallowed the pills in a single motion.

She fell.

And ceased to be.

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'No… no, NO!!!' Kota screamed, shoving the memory away with all his might. 'THAT'S NOT RIGHT!!! THAT'S NOT MY MOTHER!!!' His thoughts roared in defiance.

'She would've been HAPPY!!!' His voice cracked, trembling with desperation. 'Her life would've IMPROVED without me! She would've stopped drinking! She—she would've been free!'

'YOU LIAR!!!' Kota's thoughts erupted, his anger filling the void. 'IF SHE REALLY FELT ALL THAT, THEN WHERE WAS IT, HUH!? WHERE WAS IT!!!? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE SHE CARED!? ABOUT SOMEONE LIKE ME, SOMEONE WHO FAILED A GODDESS!?'

His words seared through the darkness, trembling with rage and anguish. The oppressive silence answered him.

'I was the one…' a voice cut through his storm, soft and steady.

'… Who failed you.'

Kota's eyes widened, disbelief freezing him in place.

'And while I may not be a goddess…' she continued, her tone carrying a quiet vulnerability, as she kneeled to meet his height.

'Please, Kota…' her voice cracked, weary and trembling.

'Let me hold you, just one last time… and forever.'

Kota's breath hitched as her face came into view—softer, gentler than he had ever remembered. Her eyes, full of sorrow and warmth, pierced straight through him.

'Please, be my son again,' she begged, her words laced with quiet desperation.

Kota's thoughts fractured under the weight of her words, a single question reverberating in his mind: I am… worth something?

'But…' he murmured, his gaze dropping to the void beneath his feet. 'I failed.'

He lifted his head, his expression a mix of confusion and disbelief.

'I failed. Why… Why would you want to do anything for me? Let alone… hold… someone like me?' His voice cracked, trembling as he searched her face. 'What's your reasoning…?'

Her answer came;

'Because you exist.'

'You're here before my eyes, Kota. You finally exist. Please… please, just be with me. Even if it's only for a short time… I swear to you, I'll show you how much I love you.'

Kota stood frozen, her words echoing through his dying consciousness. His mind reeled, tangled in disbelief and yearning.

'This… isn't real,' he thought, his feet refusing to move.

'It can't be real…'

Yet her gaze never wavered, her arms outstretched.

His knees buckled, trembling as he took one hesitant step forward, then another.

'Why…?' he whispered, his voice breaking as he closed the distance between them. His body moved on instinct.

And before he realized it, her arms were around him, her embrace steady, unyielding, pulling him in.

Before long, he felt it.

Her arms wrapped around him, warm and steady. She held him close, her hand gently patting his weary head.

In her embrace, the oppressive darkness faded. The pain, the anger, the weight of years of isolation—all of it melted away.

Kota's trembling body gave in, his head resting against her shoulder.

'... Mom…' he whispered faintly, as her warmth guided him into peaceful sleep.