True Desire

I never asked or wanted sex or anything beyond the physical, because I loved Lei, my best friend as imperfect as she is until today. I never wished for her to accept me or to fall in love with me, since she had her life and I know that she is happy where she was before.

Leila thought I didn't know that she had an affair with a married man and it was heartbreaking. I hired an investigator to know everything that was happening with Leila and her child. The hardest part there wasn't that she had a daughter but she fell madly in love with a man that couldn't return her favors and affection, yes because he is married and children of his own.

Leila knew this but it's too late to back down now. She agreed to a have an illicit affair with the man who later beat and treated her like dirt and a whore. The man was a womanizer but since her was filthy rich, he had many concubines and mistresses, and one of them was Leila. I wanted to kill him for what he did to Leila, my one and only love, to save not only her but all those women he used and played with from his monster. It was a lucky hand indeed that when I was about to order his assassination, he died of a heart attack and that was God's providence not to stain my good hands with bad blood and a sinner.

I tried to live an honest and healthy life. I don't have any vices other than sips of wine when celebrating special occasions like with friends birthdays or anniversaries. I don't smoke or do one night stands. I was living my awesome saintly life when Leila came back to Milan. Which started to make my life harder like a bundle of nerves and confusions. Meaning, the past came flashing back and my feelings for her didn't go away but was just hibernating, waiting the perfect timing to taste the heat of summer once again. My heart leapt for joy to love and be in love with Leila one more time. And this time, it'll become a reality. She will stay with me for all eternity and that was a wishful thinking that I have been praying for until today.

I didn't have a hidden agenda when I volunteered to help her finances for the therapy and eye operations. But I felt I needed to do it, since I too had a small part in making up her mind and decide to leave Milan when she got pregnant. She didn't want me to end up as her lover since she said so herself when we were sleeping in a motel in Sacramento, that, she loves me so much that it's better for me to be with someone as lovely, smart and wonderful and it's not her.

Yet, she is the One. You are the only one, I love and desire to be with Leila. No matter what you said then, I still desire for you to be with me forever, and if there's beyond eternity, I would make our love fall into that category so we won't miss and be far from each other's side even after death. Well, everybody dies but it's how I picture myself and Leila together, forever.

Leila and I made a commitment to each other and our goal was to make her walk and see again. I bought a house near a beach and even bought the beach so I could monitor her progress. It's just good when you have the money to do this. I just pity those who haven't had the means so I always give to charities and created a foundation for Leila called "One Step at A Time". This would help and assist people like Leila who don't have money to care for themselves or their love ones. And for those who don't have means for therapy and eye operations.

I told Lei about it and she was so excited for it to go through. She will be the foundation's ambassador and she will be amazing for it. Once she is well enough, she will definitely inspire others to never give up and have the patience to do everything so that they can get better and be physically whole once more. Being whole starting from the heart and the mind is the key to making our physical and spiritual bodies perfect.

Leila was indeed jealous of Craig. He has been good to me and when he tried to kiss me that time, I refused to be his girlfriend because I am in love with Lei. But Lei didn't know that because she went away after a month, when she found out that she's pregnant with Jorge's. I cursed that wicked boy. I wanted to kill him for making Leila suffer. He was reported to have been hit by a speeding car the night that Leila and her mom migrated to Canada. I never felt more alone and more lost when Leila went away.

I couldn't focus at school and neither could have good sales on the stickers I made for my schoolmate patrons due to my drawings were poor or about broken hearts. It pissed off my friends and it made my business lose money for months. Craig was there for me to comfort and befriend me. When I was searching for Lei, for affection, for comfort and support, Craig was the only one who was there and however painful I felt when my best friend left me. I found a new friend and eventually new love with Craig. After college Craig and I decided to move to the states. New York was a busy place but stood as my second home apart from Milan who always stayed my only home, my haven. Craig became my safety blanket, my best friend, my Leila who supported me in every way especially with my business ideas, until we built an empire of real estate companies. Craig came from a real estate magnate that I became his partner in everything even in marriage.