The Defeat and The Desire

Cyril's POV:

It's not everyday that you get to casually wake up after experiencing death itself, in your old room, in your younger self's body.

Yet, here I am, sitting oh so peacefully in our family's old apartment, just listening to Aza's bitching.

How bizarre.

Although it has been pretty long since I have had the time to read something, how can I not remember fondly of novel plots like reincarnation, transmigration, and regression?

I loved it.

But to actually experience it… It is unpleasant.

Indeed, I have regressed. According to the calendar, it is currently 16 November, year 14 of Otis, or about 15 years in the past.

Well, 'we' regressed. Both me and Aza, how unfortunate.

She was the one that woke me up in the first place with a completely terrified expression, and because of the fact that I had a full-blown panic attack immediately after waking up (which I would not like to discuss), it does not take a genius to ask the right question and find out that both of us have similarly regressed.

The reason she chose to barge into her dear brother's room and shout in his face immediately after regressing, you asked?

Beats me, I have the same question.

Looking at my sister so young, yet wearing such a twisted grumpy expression while running her mouth, I can't help but feel out of place and recounted the end of the fucking world that I experienced literally a couple of minutes ago.

It was not even a heroic struggle or a grand ending, humanity simply lost.

That monster just straight-up erased our existence. It was as if the earth was a failed sketch being angrily erased by some grumpy art student out of spite. None of us mattered to it, and we all received an equally pathetic end.

It is actually pretty poetic, now that I put it that way.

The pain was unimaginable, indescribable, so much so that I would prefer dying on the battlefield with an axe in my head. I mean, how could you even start to describe the feeling of every particle inside your body disappearing? It was the mixture of being stung in the ass by a giant wasp and being kicked in the nuts really, really hard. Multiply it by a few times and I guess it's kind of close. It was the weird sensation where all the nerve in your body collectively screams 'oh no'.

It was horrible.

My heart is still beating so fast that it is on the verge of bursting. Desperate screams and cries of the battlefield still lingered in my head. I can still recount Baal's stupid smile, the nauseating feeling, and being powerless.

I can still remember worthlessly dying.

"Focus! Damn Cy!" Just as cold sweat started to roll down my back again. Aza's nagging brought me back to reality.

"...Sorry." I hastily opened my eyes and wryly smiled. "This just feels very surreal, how did this happen?"

"Ughh!" Aza's vain bulge as she angrily screeches. "That is literally what I've been trying to figure out! It would have been helpful if you fucking helped out a little!"

I casually take a sip of the coffee, just to silently spit it out again into the cup.

The taste was absolutely horrible! So cheap and synthetic that it is both too bitter and sour. You could probably get better coffee even after the cataclysm. I don't even know how we still keep this trash in our house.

Either way, it sure does the job of keeping me awake.

"So?" I continue with a straight face, ignoring the bitter aftertaste. "What have you come up with so far?"

"... I will punch you, Cy." Aza grumbled. Her vulgar language does not fit her current image one bit.

My twin sister, Azia Belmont, is currently a mere 17 years old girl with a rather childish look. With long brunette hair, green eyes, and rather gentle facial features that took after our mother. Yet, even I am surprised how she could twist that gentle features to such a degree, the way she currently presented herself felt closer to a demon than a girl.

She is clearly agitated if you ask me.

I can't help but chuckle internally.

"Maybe this is Arism's last-ditch attempt?" I casually threw out a suggestion, uninterested.

Arism is the goddess of time, the only authority that I could think of that may have a hand in this.

"Impossible." Aza rebuked. "The goddess remains neutral even at her death, and her power works indiscriminately, it doesn't allow her to target specific individuals. Even if she could, she still hates your guts too much to grant you this miracle."

She's right, Arism is a bitch. However, what caught my attention the most was not this.

"...Where is the fucking miracle?" I raised my eyebrows in shock. "Do you have something?"

"Huh?" Aza tilted her head. "We returned to the past, didn't we? What do you call this then?"

Her innocent and one-dimension thinking completely disrupted my anticipation and train of thought.

For a second, I really thought my dumb sister regressed with some superpower in hand like those in the novels that could help us k.o the final boss, but apparently, she is just plain dumb.

"Aza, snapped out of it." I sighed, not even bothering to mask my exasperation. "So what if we regressed?"

"Hmmm?" Aza tilted her annoying head the other way. "Ehrm, we get another shot?"

This dumb girl even manages to give a quick one-two punch in the air with her hand to demonstrate her stupid point.

"Another shot at what?" I was baffled at this point. "At getting our ass erased from existence again?"

"What are you going to do?" I continued. "What are you even going to brute your way through? What could you possibly do to beat That?"

A heavy atmosphere instantly spread, but I wasn't done as I continue speaking.

"You were there too…" I look straight at Aza at the opposite side of the table. "That thing… It's impossible…"

At my word, her eyes widened a bit before trembling. Her mouth opened and closed, but she was unable to utter a single word in response.

She was certainly remembering the last minutes of our life, humanity's end.

As she should.

I am certain that she is feeling despair and powerlessness as her body continued to tremble helplessly. However, I did not intervene. This was necessary, her previous thought was just too dangerous.

So what if we regressed? this was not some novel or game, what we are facing is not something that the power of love and friendship can solve!

The mere mention of it also makes my head hurt, as I similarly lean back and close my eyes, trying to calm myself.

After about 5 minutes of total silence, I finally have enough. Heaving a sigh of frustration, I got up to go rest.

To be honest, this was not the best time to figure things out. Although having returned to the younger-self body, the mental fatigue from previously was apparently carried over.

The actual first thing I wish to do since I woke up and figured out the situation was to immediately go back to bed, and I would have done so without Aza anxiously bugging me. Regardless of the situation, I have already died once, so if something were to happen right now, at least I wanted to die a bit more comfortably this time, preferably while inside a warm and cozy blanket.

I can tell that Aza was also suffering the same fatigue despite all her nonsense, so this is the best choice for both of us.

"I'm going to sleep." I declared, hinting to her that she should do the same.

Azia has not moved since 5 minutes ago, with her elbows on the table and hands supporting her head, looking dejected.

I did not say another word and silently headed for my room.

"...You can't." However, Aza's weak and tired voice halted my step.

"...We are 17." She finally looked up, somehow looking even more depressed. "...We have school."

"Fuck that." I quickened my step and slammed my room door shut.

She was right, but her words just make the bed seem incomparably more attractive. It wouldn't hurt to call in sick once in a while, especially so on this occasion.

*slam

Finally, by myself, I tiredly roll right down to the cold wooden floor, stretching my body a bit while I'm at it.

Although I do need sleep, after the previous unfruitful discussion, my mind was a bit chaotic.

"A second chance…" I silently mumble.

This was a thought regarding this situation that has never crossed my mind, and most likely never will. I don't know what Aza's views are, but in my opinion, I have already struggled to the best of my ability in the previous life.

The regress brought nothing to me except the frustration of knowing that everything I worked for has amounted to nothing.

Unlike her, I worked alone most of the time, so I fought for survival every waking second and even barely rested. Even if this truly is the genuinely given second chance, I can barely think of anything that I can change.

"Barely…" I scoffed to myself. Well, there may be a thing or two.

"Still, it's more of a curse than a miracle." I yawned.

But now is not the time, rest is essential.

I lazily got up and looked around.

It was very nostalgic to see my old room again. The small, cozy room is actually pretty plain with white being the main color, but there is certainly some personality to it.

The left side was decorated with a bookcase full of souvenirs from our family's past vacations and a wall plastered with some random posters, which I remembered purchasing not because of their content, but rather just as plain decoration for the room's aesthetic. It was mostly of random instruments and classical movie posters as I seemed to be heading for an artistic vibe.

But the fact that I was not even artistic, only knowing some basic guitar, just made the whole setup very confusing and questionable.

How very 17-years-old of me.

Opposite it, on the other side of the room is the usual table and bed combo, nothing special, but there was also a full-body standing mirror in the corner.

"Oh?" I slightly raised my left eyebrow looking at my reflection. "Pretty healthy, aren't you?"

I was obviously younger, but the 'cleanliness' stunned me a bit as the shabby and malnourished image of myself is completely nowhere to be seen. My dark brunette hair was cut cleanly short and I was without scars, bruises, and those damned markings.

"My beard hasn't even grown yet." I touched my smooth chin. "What a late bloomer."

My green eyes still shine and the eye bags are yet to be visible and prominent. With a pretty tanned skin and a tiny bit of muscle, although I still looked generally skinny, it is at least still better than my skeleton-looking self in the future.

Contrary to Aza's gentle looks, I gave off a dorky and more mischievous air. However, we still shared many features and the iconic bright green eyes of the Belmont.

Because of my men-pride, I also quickly lifted my jogger and sneak a glance downward.

"You are okay, I guess." I chuckled stupidly to myself, then looked toward the comfy bed, this was a good note to end the day on.

However.

My relaxed gaze immediately froze at the bedside counter.

Laying firmly there was a tissue box, with many used tissues beside it.

Already aware of my complete lack of any sickness symptoms, I slowly looked toward the other side table with fear visible in my eyes.

There was lotion.

Fucking lotion.

To this point, I also can't miss the faint fishy, chlorine smell in the room!

The whole bedside looks like a hormonal crime scene!

"...This is indeed a curse," I mumbled with a red face. "how embarrassing."

I unhesitantly turned away from the disgusting bed and left the room.

Entering the living room and noticing that Aza was already gone. Without further thought, I quickly settle down on the living room couch and snooze away.

To the exhausted me, the couch's softness is also no different than the clouds and not lacking compared to a bed.

"Baal," I unconsciously mumble in a half-sleep state. "keep guard."

Old habits sure die hard.

***

Azia's POV:

What is there not to like?

You died, pathetically, without even hope or chance of resistance.

But then, you returned to the past. With a life full of possibilities and an intact memory full of answers.

I could do more, I could be more.

Just like Cy, I still remembered the last moment of my last life.

Kneeling down in a pool of blood, with the corpses of my comrades nowhere to be found, it was desperate time.

But I don't remember being angry, or sad, or anything for that matter. I don't care for the blood all over my hand and body, nor do I mourn my deceased comrades. At this point, this was nothing more than common sight.

However, I do remember my last thought before disappearing.

'If only I had more time…'

Sure, it was a futile foolish wish.

Yet, here I am, back to even before everything started.

Even with a heart still palpitating because of fear and confusion plaguing my mind, I am excited more than anything else.

How could I not! The gods answered my stupid wish! Although I do doubt that this is the work of any gods.

Still, I am excited and grateful!

But Cyril, oh Cyril, being the bitch that he is, ruined everything.

I was even more excited and happy when I realized he also regressed. I was glad that I am not alone, I was glad that another pillar of humanity will share the burden with me, even if it is dumb Cyril.

He might be embarrassed and left out the fact that in addition to violently spasming on the bed, this boy even threw up with a completely pale look while groaning loudly.

I should know, I was the one who patted his skinny back!

Cy's actions made even me, a maiden, think that maybe I am not girly enough to have that kind of exaggerated reaction. I myself only panicked a little, just a little.

Small details like that made my heart warm and calm.

I was happy and hopeful.

But not even close to being helpful, he just had to throw shit at my face.

"That thing… it's impossible…" Cy said with trembling in his voice.

My moods immediately darken with his words.

I know that look, that expression, that attitude all too well.

My brother, Cyril Belmont has already accepted his defeat.

His attitude frustrated me to no end as I just wanted to stand up and slap some sense into him.

I was also there, fighting the same battle with him, I also witnessed that thing erase our reality. Just like him, I also felt the same defeat, helplessness, and despair.

Just thinking about it makes my body shudder. However, that was yesterday, or should I say in the future. It's confusing, and I couldn't care less.

But anyway, now that we have regressed, I wanted to do more!

I mean, what else can you do?

Give up? Not me.

I will do more.

'But it would be better if someone helps…' I silently thought as I watched Cy's back retreating back to his room.

It was an odd sight as I can't help but idly wonder if he has been secretly working out, maybe it was just my imagination, but Cy now is a bit chubbier than he is in the future. But still, skinny as hell.

Looking at him walking all edgy and stuff with a body of a stick just annoyed me.

Who would have thought, the future rank 24 'Demon King' would be this frail? I could probably give him a little push and he would just fall.

This also triggered an embarrassing memory I had. Where there was a rumor going around the camp that the devious 'Demon King' has no weaknesses, and there is no one that had even seen his back and lived to tell the tale.

Yet here he was, waddling around, all stick-like.

*slam

Just as his door closed, I similarly stood up and headed for our apartment's entry door.

Although I understand his hint about resting, I just couldn't understand how he could sleep in a situation like this. My body doesn't seem to be tired either as we literally just woke up, and the mental fatigue wasn't something I haven't experienced before.

'This much is nothing, what a snowflake.' I scoffed in my mind and decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood.

The suggestion of going to school was just a tease, that would be insane. We could do that another day.

I wasn't a great actor either so I will probably feel more secure with Cyril next to me when we face our friends.

*Click

I exited the apartment with comfy leather boots, hastily walked through the corridor, and pushed the elevator button, waiting for my turn.

I idly let my body act until I exited the building, it was no trouble, 15 years was not enough to make me forget civilization.

What I've truly forgotten though, is peace.

We lived in front of a park, so immediately after exiting the building, what I met was all laughing and idle chat. A kid walked by me, hand-in-hand with his mom so cheerfully and a senior just sit on a nearby bench, casually feeding the pigeons.

The smell is 'clean', there was no visible dust and the pungent stink of blood or any disgusting stench.

I was so refreshed by the whole atmosphere that I just stood still for a moment, just to breathe and look around.

How nice!

It was only when some people started giving me weird looks that I sigh and started moving.

A girl really can't just take a moment and be herself nowadays!

I go toward the right side, I don't really have a destination in mind so I decided to just go with the flow and move in a straight line. I will make it easier to trace my step back home too.

When I woke up, it was already noon, so the roads were pretty crowded as people hastily stroll here and there during their break time.

Our family is not really rich, but because of my mom's job privilege, we got to live in a pretty good neighborhood. Moreover, it's a good neighborhood in Central city, the capital. I'm sure that we had to take out quite a loan to secure our current apartment. We are here only because mom was very stubborn with her belief in giving her children the best possible environment.

The buildings around are all skyscrapers looking rather luxurious, a mixture of offices and apartments. Too bad these will probably all got slashed in half once the cataclysm came. Welp, I better enjoy the view while I can.

Most people I can see on the main street are adults in formal suits. People waiting for the trains, people socializing, people waiting for someone, the whole scene was no fun, but it was peaceful.

Looking at people just minding their own business, my resolve to do my best this time around has only got stronger. After all, I have witnessed these same individuals, normal civilians come together to protect each other. Selflessly sweating and bleeding just to hold the line.

For me at least, that is the beauty of humanity, we came together during tough times.

Walking idly for quite a while, I decided to just get a snack in one of the busier-looking pastries shops, packed full of people strolling through their phones or making conversation while happily eating.

The smell is heavenly, and I myself haven't had a decent meal in a while!

It's a perfect treat for a hardworking woman, and I deserve this much!

The door's bell made a pleasant ring as I walk-in, slowly getting in line while still moving my eyes all over the place with an out-of-place curiosity.

It didn't take long till it was my turn.

"Welcome, how is your day?" The cashier greeted me with a warm smile.

"Uh... Great, um, how's yours?" I replied very smoothly with a straight face. At least that's how I hope I looked.

I swear I could feel the odd look the gentlemen behind is giving me.

Why don't we just mind our own business, okay?

"It is wonderful sweetie, thank you for asking." Even if she thought I was weird, the lady cashier didn't show it. "How may I help you?"

"Yeah, alright, um…" I eyed the displayed pastries before making my order. "I will take a slice of pecan pie and, um… do you have ginger ale?"

"We sure do," the lady smiled patiently, "Do you want the fresh one that we made or a canned ginger ale?"

"Oh, sure, a fresh one would be nice. Thanks."

"No problem, sweetie. That would be 106 Efir, would you like to pay by cash or credit?"

"Cash, please." I answered as I rummage through my pocket with a bit of panic. Thankfully, I have enough, otherwise, it would have been awkward.

I hastily paid and get out of line, I swear to god, that man stares daggers out of nowhere. It wasn't even that weird, how unfriendly.

I received my order not long after and get myself out of that crowded mess. It was rather stressful, making small talk and casual interaction just felt weird now. Is that even considered small talk?

Welp, another thing to take note of and adapt to.

I was still considering whether my face look weird or not when I heard a small ding.

Eagerly taking out my phone, I look at the new notifications.

[CyCy: Where are you? Go home.]

It was from the annoying Cyril.

[CyCy: Uh, mom's home. She got off work early because we skip school.]