Chapter 136: Let’s All Play Cornball!

Summary:

Cornball game for the win!

Sprig hopped to the door, guiding the new friends of Anne's he saw on her magic rectangle a couple months back. "This is the place. Buff Frog came in a few months ago, and now he hangs out here. His kids are super fun too." They played ball on the weekends.

"Thanks, Sprig. Sorry Anne couldn't make it today, she's been pretty busy with school." The boy of the group, Steven if he remembered correctly, said.

"That's fine, we have all the time in both worlds." He shrugged off. "I'm just sorry for everyone that keeps calling you freaky, it's meant to be endearing. They just don't know if they should treat you like an Anne or a Sasha."

"Well at least you all just joke about the hate instead of refusing to give it a chance." The girl with hearts, Star, muttered. "But it's nice to meet a new friend. Anne's pretty cool to hang with as it is."

"Don't I know it. Has she overthought a situation and created memorable but dangerous hijinks lately?" Sprig asked.

"That basically describes everyone in the friend group…she's oddly enough the most restrained of us…even if the cook off with Marco got out of hand." Steven explained with a light laugh. "Now Anne and him have a rivalry where they try to outdo each other in the kitchen … which means a free meal every other sunday."

"In my opinion, no one can beat Anne's cooking. She learned from the best." Hop pop and the Bunchoys. Sprig knocked on the door, as it opened to reveal his latest friend. "Katrina!"

"Sprig!" The frog girl gave him a tight hug. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Katrina!" Star ran up and gave the girl a hug with him inside of it. "You've gotten so big! Remember me?"

"Star … is that really you!?" Katrina looked up at the blonde girl and squeezed her tightly, even managing to pick her off the ground. "It's been forever since we saw you!"

"You've… also… gotten… stronger…" Star's face was turning blue. "Why… does… so…. much… love exist…. all at once…?"

"If it isn't the Butterflies." Buff Frog spoke up. "If I knew you were coming, I would have fixed up some worm waffles."

"Oh no need, Buff Frog, we just wanted to stop by and see how you and your family have been holding up." Steven said.

"Definitely much more peaceful in current home than last home, even if the farmland can be a bit rough." That was understandable. The war did make planting a bit of a pain in the aftermath. "Giant dragonflies also attempt to snatch up babies every so often, but I beat it down and provide dinner for a month."

"I am the hunter of wild animals, all will fear me!" Sprig watched Star coo at the girl's declaration.

"So everything's going fine? Nothing's going wrong? You don't miss anything about your old home? Not even the taste of corn and all that.." Steven started to go off in a ramble.

"You came here under the pretense of convincing me to come back to Mewni, didn't you?" Buff Frog raised an eyebrow

"Whaaa nooo, that's not it at all." Steven gave an over exaggerated wave.

"Young Steven, we both know you're terrible at lying." The older frog deadpanned, before sighing. "Star, I thought we talked about this."

"Oh, this is all him." The girl waved off. "I gave up on Mewmans a loooong time ago. I'm fine with letting my people tear each other apart with their horribleness."

"Wait, so you just, gave up on your own people?" Sprig asked. "Doesn't that seem … harsh?"

"Sprig, you're a sweet and innocent boy." She patted his head. "But right now I want to commit an … how did Anne put it, an Andrias on Mewmans?"

"You want to enslave people through a genocidal conquest across the multiverse?" Sprig asked. Looks like hate was much more of a slippery slope than he thought.

"No, not the multiverse … just Mewmans …" She kept her smile as black lines appeared on her face. "I really … reeeeally don't like them anymore."

"Star, why don't you go catch up with Katrina and … jump on giant mushrooms or something." The girl's brother suggested with a sweat drop.

"Oh, I wanna show you my new friend Polly!" The girl shouted. "We learned how to ride giant animals across the land at dangerously high speeds!"

"Hell yeah! Now that's my jam!" The dark aura instantly faded as the two girls ran off to join Sprig's sister in an event that would no doubt end with them screaming and running for their lives.

Steven waited for them to be out of earshot before letting out a loud groan. "Geesh, even in her darkest moments, Anne never got that bleak." Sprig said with a wince.

 "Yep, and I've had to deal with it for the brunt of the past few weeks." The boy sighed. "Look, right now this is more about trying to spark Star's hope again then actually maintaining peace. Eclipsa's holding a corn-ball today, and the teams are going to be mixed species."

"What's corn ball?" Sprig asked. "Is it anything like asparagus ball where you carve an asparagus into a ball to beat someone up with it?"

"Close. We carve a giant corn kernel and go through a series of obstacles and mazes while tossing it to keep it out of the other team's hands … the beating up only occurs when the losing team are sore losers." Steven explained before turning to Buff Frog. "I'm going to be playing, and it would mean the world to Star if you showed up to watch it with her. Just an hour of your time being there is all I ask."

"Hmm … the kids have never seen a professional Corn ball game before.." The older Amphibian thought about it before sighing. "Alright, but only because you've asked nicely."

"Thank you, thank you." Steven nodded with a smile. "Hey Sprig, do you wanna join? There's always room for more."

"Sure, but I'd have to look over the rules." He responded. "Is anyone else learning about them?"

"WHY DOES THE DAY OF THE WEEK AFFECT HOW MANY HOLES THERE ARE!?"

"... It's been a while since we lost Marco and Peridot to the insanity of the multiverse." The other dimensional being chuckled nervously. "Just try to hold onto the ball as much as possible and you'll be good." This plan felt like it could go off the rails at any moment…just like the good old days with Anne.

"Can do." He just hoped he would get to show off the bicycle kick.

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Steven stretched his body as everyone got into their seats. Things were going swimmingly so far! Mewmans actually showed up, Monsters came as well, and they were even selling food! Star was … sitting next to Amethyst, lazily sipping a soda and looking bored … but that wasn't a problem, he'd fix this no problem!

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to Cornball!" He glanced up to see the spectator booth, seeing Marco, Peridot, and Pearl with mics. "The sun is shining and the bird is chirping. That means that we'll be deciding the teams with lots … did I get that right?" The boy asked the small green gem.

" Yes, because upon realization of the current political climate, we realized that if we let the players choose their own teams, Monsters and Mewmans would just play against each other, and that defeats the purpose of this event."

"Well we should!" A man shouted. "Why do we have to play on the same side as filthy monsters!?"

"Why do we need to be dragged down by these weak and fragile Mewmans?!" A slime girl argued right back.

"Why did you even show up if you were just gonna complain?" Kelly asked someone from the Mewman side.

"Nobody was gonna show, but Eclipsa came by and started threatening to skin us alive." 

"Of course, because the Butterfly's special trait is brutal violence against others." Star muttered darkly as she chomped on her popcorn.

"Now now." Steven said. "We should set this up by lots … I mean, we don't wanna upset the rules of the sacred sport, right?" He hoped someone would buy it.

"Hm…fair enough. Cornball is as old as Mewni itself." Thankfully, someone from the Mewman side replied with a calm tone.

"Alright … as long as none of you screw up." A lizard man said, writing on some paper.

"Wow, these guys are violent … this should be fun." Sprig naively noted, placing his name inside of the ballot. He didn't ask if insurance existed in Amphibia, and it was probably best if he didn't say anything now.

"Yes, fun and danger are somehow synonymous in my dictionary by this point." Steven sighed as he placed his name as well. "Whatever happens, just make sure to have fun. The more we can do that, the more we can show Star and everyone else that we aren't hopeless as a species."

"Alright, time for team captains!" Pearl announced, Garnet dramatically showing off the box as she pulled the names.

"First up, for the red team … Steven Quartz Demayo Universe Butterfly!" Awesome, he was a captain. Plenty of strategies from all his time battling and watching games. "And on the blue team … Kelly!" What!!!!!???!

"Hell yeah!" Kelly shouted excitedly as he was internally screaming. "Cornball is my favorite thing in the whole world after wrestling! I totally got this in the bag!"

"That's … great." He muttered, his hands in a thumbs up as he could see Star and Amethyst's wince out of the corner of his eye.

"Next for the red team…Sprig Planter." Alright, he had a friend at least with him. Hopefully he could focus more on guiding them than his ex. "And for the blue team..Anne Bounchoey." 

"Wait, Anne's here!?" Sprig jumped in surprise as said girl waved from the otherside. "She's a complete beast with Sports! Why didn't anyone warn me earlier!?"

"Joined at the last minute, needed a break from all the studying." Anne said as she and Kelly high fived.

"Two of some of the most violent women I know are on the opposite team … It was nice while it lasted." He patted the frog on his back.

The names kept being listed off one by one, and Steven almost didn't register any of it because he was so focused on the mere fact that he was going against his ex. "Yo dude, feeling alright?" Sprig asked him.

"Not really. Things are still awkward with me and Kelly, and now I have to think about her pounding my face into the ground on top of keeping everyone civil." 

"You said it yourself that you just want everyone to have fun, right?" The pink frog boy said. "So there's about a fifty to eighty percent chance that we're going to be cremated by our friends, so what? We can still laugh at the futility." Why couldn't Steven be that level of naively optimistic now?

"Oh great, I'm stuck on a team with a freaky frog." A female Mewman scoffed. "Just stay away from me, you slimy abomination."

Steven barely registered what the woman was saying as he stretched out his hand and trapped her in a bubble. "If anyone else wants to say garbage like that, they can join her as she rolls down a mountain side."

People grumbled, but said nothing. He could see Star's impassive look, like she wasn't even surprised at the situation at hand. Alright, push away the Kelly issues, this was wayyy more important.

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"And they're off!" Marco shouted into his mic. "It seems that the blue team managed to snag the ball, tossing it over to the water hole guardian, who passes to the dragon rider, only to be intercepted by the horse rusher." He narrated. "Pearl, you're the only one that gets the game, how good are these players?"

"It's honestly a decent mix of experienced veterans and talented rookies for both teams. There's a certain variable of unpredictability on each side." Pearl clarified as she continued to observe the game. "Looks like muscle moxy has intercepted over the bridge, but now she has to deal with the pit of venom spitting cats and…ooooh, looks like her luck ran out as Sprig Planter saves it with a midair interception!"

"That was an impressive kick, leg strength that can only come up from his amphibian body. Let's see an instant replay!" Peridot shouted.

"Mewni, we don't have instant-" The green gem pointed to a screen, showing a mirror replaying the kick in slow motion. "... Nevermind."

"Don't get too confident now, he's only halfway across the field, and he has to now tightrope over the valley of instantaneous pain while wearing a hat made out of paper mache and oooh, looks like the Bulky Bob snagged it at the last minute while balancing rice on his nose! That gives the blue team five seconds of immunity from being tackled!" Pearl explained further.

"In a game like this that's a big advantage. The question is can they take advantage of this situation, or will they fall short of the red team's adaptive strategy." Marco announced dramatically.

"What's this? The Red teams captain, Steven Universe during the five seconds had been going for the catapult!" Peridot grabbed the mic and shouted into it. "He's soaring! He's flying! He could go all the-!" 

Kapoof!

"Ooh, a direct headbutt from blue team's captain Kelly! Talk about your bitter break ups." Marco was sure Star was giving him a stink eye somewhere for that comment, but he was a sports host now. The only friend he had in this booth was the love of the game. "Healing spit ain't going to cure that in the morning."

"And the Red team scores a touchdown!" Peridot shouted. "It's only worth half the points, but that puts the Blue team in the lead! Red team is now left arguing … arguing hard …" She muttered. "I know I'm new to social cues but that seems intense."

"It's an everyday reaction if you're a citizen of Mewni." Pearl stated as she observed the game. "Looks like the Mewmans on the red team are pointing at Sprig but … what's this? Blue Team's Anne Bonchoey is now punching the Roxy Rocket of the red team! She had her in a half Nelson, a full Nelson, now she's just beating her up by using Red Team's Bobby Nelson like a club! Oh the Mewmanity of it all!"

"And now the Kappa is coming in with the foam finger and-" The audience winced. "The thousand years of pain … not a forbidden technique, but a very unsporty one …"

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"Wait!" Sadie shouted to the band, barely making it as she panted. "Just … give me a second …" She huffed. "I'm more out of shape than I thought …" She knew boys said she had a 'cute chub' to her, but this was ridiculous.

"What's going on, Sadie?" Sour Cream asked. The cool kids were luckily kind enough to let her hang around their band practices as she processed her grief over Lars being gone. And after a few days of it, she realized she needed to do something about it.

"Hey…you're still looking for a lead singer, right?" Sadie managed to say as she managed to finally catch the ball of her breath.

"Yeah, but I thought you were stuck at the Big Donut?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah … so I quit!" Sadie shouted with a laugh. "Fuck my life, i'm doing what I wanna do for a change!" So what if she was jobless? She still had her whole life ahead of her.

"Whoa, looks like Sadie Killer has a fire lit inside of her." Buck said with an approving nod and a thumbs up. "What brought this on?"

"Through most of my teenage life, I've been trying to help others. I've always been the ear for others to listen to about their stress, about their frustrations, about all the crap THEY go through in their lives!" Sadie finally felt herself feel as light as a feather for the first time in her life. "I put my stressful shit to the side for everyone else's sake…but no more! I'm helping myself to what makes me happy for once, and I'm never going to apologize for it!"

"Heck yeah, tell the man how much they suck!" Osckar shouted. "We'll start a revolution of teenage angst and tell the world our feelings!!"

"Bro, take it down a notch." Sour cream patted the boy's cheek.

"No, take it up ten!" Sadie exclaimed. "I want to sing so loud that people's ears start to bleed! I want this whole dimension to know that Sadie Miller is done taking its crap, and if the universe has a problem with it, I'm punching it in the face!" She didn't have Marco and she didn't have Lars to support her…she just had herself to love…and that was going to be enough for her.

"Alright, now that is a killer I can get behind." Jenny nodded. "Come on, we're not gonna put you on stage sweaty and with no makeup."

"Yeah, let's get some midnight zombie stuff going on!"

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Star watched as the Mewmans and Monsters once more devolved into senseless violence. "You want the rest of my popcorn?" She offered Amethyst. "I lost my appetite."

"Don't mind if I do." Amethyst gladly chucked the entire bag into her mouth. "You sure you don't want to join in on the fighting? You look like someone that needs to bust a few heads."

"It's pointless to do anything. I'd be a traitor to the Mewmans, and I'd just be a savage Mewman to the monsters. There was no winning in this situation at all." Star stood up, walking up to Buff Frog. "I'm sorry my brother dragged you into this mess."

"It's alright, Star Butterfly. I didn't expect much to come of this trip anyways." The monster sighed. "I'm proud that you two managed to change Status Quo, even if the people aren't willing to accept it."

"What's the point of anything changing if the people just want to stay the same?" Star sighed. "This dimension is hopeless." Honestly, the moment Eclipsa freed Globgor (Cause she didn't buy it for a second that she wasn't going to), Star planned on grabbing both Pony and Tom, and just cutting off this Dimension entirely. "Alright, let's do a headcount." She began pointing. "Four, six, eight, ten, eleven …" She blinked. "Where's Katrina?"

"She said she got bored and walked away." Boris shrugged.

"And you didn't stop her!?" Star groaned, exasperated. The last thing she needed was another kind innocence to be taken away by the prejudice of jackasses. "Uggh, any idea on where she would be?"

"She said something about joining the other cornball game…the actual fun one with no adults." Anya, one half of the conjoined twins, said as they put on their own uniform. "Speaking of, be back in a minute dad, gotta help my team!"

"Wait..another cornball game? What other game?" Star questioned as she followed the kids outside the stadium to the empty field, or at least, the field that should've been empty.

Because on the field was a group of Monster and Mewman kids … playing Cornball. Together, mixed teams, all just having fun playing the game. Katrina wore a captain's helmet, laughing as she ran and kicked the ball up into the air, a Mewman passing it back to another monster kid. "We're gonna score!" One kid shouted.

"Not if I have anything to say about it, plebeians!" What looked like a round purple ball intercepted the cornball in the air and began running in the other direction.

"Polly!? When did you get here?!" Her brother Spring, with a now bruised eye, came on the the sidelines to watch

"I was here the whole time you dingus!" She shouted, back.

"Hold on folks, ignore the fighting." Maco spoke on the coms. "It seems that there is a second Cornball game around the corner."

"And according to the rules, Cornball can be played with two balls if played next to another game." Peridot explained. "Thus we're looking at some serious double action plays here."

"Looks like Polly Planter is about to tame it home for the red team, but oh no! Little David has snatched the ball by snatching her with it, and as long as the player in question weighs as much as the ball, it's still a viable play!" Pearl announced.

"Come on my little tadpole, you can turn this around!" Buff Frog shouted out, Star just watching the impossible event in silence.

"Wow, those are so impressive moves ... for a monster that is." One of the Mewman parents commented.

"Yeah ... and those Mewman kids aren't that weak either." A Two headed monster said.

"They're getting along …" Star could feel her face tear up. "They're genuinely getting along …"

"Of course they are." Kelly came by, patting her on the back. "Kids are too stupid to understand deep seeted hatred."

"It's possible, this plan is working!" Star couldn't help but cheer. "Steven, your plan is…Steven?" She turned around. "Where is Steven?"

"Right here." Anne said, carrying a woozy and dazed looking Steven to the group. "I think the headbutt caused a concussion."

"We seriously need to see a doctor at this point." Kelly muttered. Ironic, considering she's the one that caused this latest one, like she had any concern for his health.

"No…doctors…evil…doctors.." Steven said in a slur. "Stop messing with my head…don't marry my dad…"

"I'll choose to unpack that later." Star rolled her eyes as she brought her dizzy brother into her own embrace. "Thank you Steven, thank you for not giving up.

"No prob, Supernova … I'm just happy you believe in fairies again." Star really needed to get back at Kelly for this and everything else she's done.

"And score! The red team has one after a macorenian tackle!" Pearl shouted. "That's game over folks, good game!" She was really into this.

"Hey, good game." The Mewman kid on the opposite team extended their hand to Katrina. "I had a lot of fun."

"Yeah, it was amazing, especially for my first game!! I only wish I could play more." Katrina accepted the hand. 

"Then I guess we'll have to give you more time to practice." Buff Frog ruffled his daughter's head. "And since it's not played professionally in Amphibia, we'll just have to move back."

"Are you sure that's alright?" Star asked. "I mean, Mewmans are still …" She saw a couple get into an argument about 'their kid' being better.

"Our Generation is garbage … the next one is the only one that can change." Buff Frog patted her back. "And that's all possible, thanks to you, little Butterfly's."

"Yay! Green Froggy is staying!" Her brother said, his eyes spinning in circles as he cheered. "Now let's dance on lava and eat sunshine!" He yelled before promptly fainting on the ground.

"I'm just gonna get him to a bed, and start working on a fixed skull spell." Hopefully the rest would fix itself.