Chapter 16 Conflict Heart

In the early morning, the sun came in from the window on the fifth floor of Kenji's apartment, and Hajime found himself lying in Kenji's arms. He felt Kenji's soft breath caressing his hair. Although he spends many nights in Kenji's bed, his relationship with Kenji is not clear. Many times, he wanted to ask Kenji if they were in a relationship, but he didn't have the courage to ask. He was afraid of getting an answer he didn't want to hear, so he kept his mouth shut and waited for Kenji to speak first.

Just as he was thinking, a kiss landed on his neck. Kenji said, "Good morning."

Hajime turned around and kissed Kenji's forehead. "Good morning," he said with a smile.

Kenji asked, "You woke up just now, why didn't you wake me up?"

Hajime said, "I'm thinking."

Kenji smiled and asked, "What are you thinking?"

Hajime sighed and said, "Kenji-san, what do you think of us?"

Kenji said, "Us? What do you mean?"

Hajime asked, "Are we dating or just friend with benefit?"

Kenji sighed and sat up. He looked at Hajime and said, "Hajime… do you want to date me?"

Hajime got up slowly, and asked sadly, "So we are not dating?"

Kenji said, "If you want to date, I don't mind, but before you agree, I have to make one thing clear."

Hajime asked, "What is it?"

Kenji said, "Although I like you very much and hope to be with you every minute and every second of every day, my parents think differently from me. I will probably marry a wife and have children in the future."

Hajime said sadly, "I see…"

Kenji said, "Until then, I can date you if you want."

Hajime said, "Is this what you wanted too, or did you do it because you were too kind to refuse my presence?"

Kenji pulled Hajime into his arm and said, "Hajime-kun, this is what I have always wanted, but in the future, I will get married. I don't want to lie to you, I want to tell you the truth."

Hajime thought for a few moments. He knows that Kenji will marry a woman in the future, but the future is unpredictable. He is very confident in himself, as long as he loves Kenji wholeheartedly, Kenji will not change, and love him to the same extent.

Hajime asked, "Do you have any suggestions?"

Kenji said, "We can date now, but in the future, when we meet someone, we like, or decide to marry that person, we must completely sever the relationship so as not to cause trouble for each other."

Hajime was heartbroken, what should have been the happiest day in his life turned out to be the most painful day in his life. If he wants to keep Kenji, then he must consent to Kenji's agreement.

"Kenji-san, let's not date… If you find someone else in the future, tell me the truth, and I will leave," he said heartbroken. "I love where we are now. Casual lovers; no commitment."

Kenji asked, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Hajime nodded, "Yes…"

Although this makes Hajime sad, he understands Kenji's reasoning. Unlike him, whose home was broken. Kenji is a rich prodigal son, and his hero. His life was ruined, so he didn't want his hero's life ruined.

Kenji said, "Get ready. I have a meeting at ten o'clock. I'll take you to school."

Hajime smiled brightly at Kenji.

Kenji drops Hajime off at the corner of the street a block from the school to prevent anyone from seeing Kenji. Before Hajime leaves Kenji's car, Hajime gives Kenji a quick kiss. He waved to Kenji as Kenji speeds his car down the road.

Hajime looked forward and saw Keiji and his other friends standing on the other side of the street staring at him. Just by glaring at Keiji, Keiji already disobeyed the traffic rules and rushed to the opposite side of the road.

Keiji grabbed Hajime by the collar, gritted his teeth and said, "That's my brother's car that speeding away, isn't it?"

Hajime did not speak but nodded.

Keiji asked madly, "Why? Why?" He tightens his grasped around Hajime's collar. "You can mess with any man you want, I don't care, but why are you messing with my brother."

Hajime said, "Keiji, don't get me wrong. We aren't dating."

Keiji said, "If you are not dating my brother than what are you to him?" Keiji said, snorting. "Obviously not like brothers."

"We agreed not to date and to keep the relationship as casual lovers," Hajime said.

The word "casual lover" hit Keiji very hard. He felt betrayed by Hajime. He was the one who introduced Hajime to Kenji, but he didn't know that Hajime is a sneaky deadly poisonous snake in disguise. If his parents knew about the relationship between Kenji and Hajime, his parents would be heartbroken because they had high hopes for Kenji. The more he thought about the disappointed expressions on his parents' faces, the angrier he became, so he raised his right fist and punched Hajime in the face. His punch knocked Hajime to the ground as his friends rushed from the other side of the street to stop him.

Keiji spat at Hajime, and said frantically, "Stay away from my brother and our family."

"Keiji, what's going on?"

"Yeah, why did you hit Hinode-kun?"

One of the friends looked at Hajime who had stood up, and then looked at Keiji. He asked, "Keiji did this fag offend you?"

Keiji said, "Let's go...don't get yourself dirty by standing with this kind of person."

Just like that, Hajime loses the only friend who accepts him by getting involved with Kenji. Hajime didn't go to school that day but walked home. He sat in the room for a long time before sending a chat message to Keiji. He wrote: Tsukumo-kun, sorry. The message he sent was read, but he received no reply from Keiji. After waiting for more than ten minutes, Keiji didn't reply, so we sent it again. When he sent it, Keiji had already blocked and unfriend him on the chat.

Hajime sighed and sent Kenji a message. As soon as he finished reading the message, Kenji called.

Kenji asked, "Did he see us together?"

"Yes, now he blocked me and unfriended me. I can't reach him," Hajime said.

Kenji asked, "Did he do anything to you?"

Hajime lied, "He didn't do anything to me, but I won't come to see you these days."

Kenji asked, "What's wrong?"

Hajime lied, "My mother is sick. I need to take care of her."

Kenji said, "Okay, you take care of your mom. Don't worry about Keiji, I'll talk to him." He paused for a few minutes. "Hajime-kun."

Hajime replied, "Mmm…"

Kenji said, "Don't even think about it. Don't let Keiji's words affect you or ruin our relationship. I want you to know that until this moment, I still like you very much and haven't changed."

Hajime smiled, tears rolling down his eyes. "I understand," he said.

Kenji said, "So, wipe away your tears, go take a good shower, eat something good, and take a nap. When you wake up, everything will be fine."

Hajime always liked Kenji's words of encouragement. He asked, "How do you know I'm crying?"

Kenji said, "If you pay attention to me as much as I do for you, then you can know how I feel just by listen to the way I breathe. Hajime-kun, cheer up...you just need to know that I love you, and right now, you still my number one person."

Hajime said, "Kenji-san, thank you."

Kenji said, "Lunch is over, I have to go back to work. I'll call you when I'm off work. Do you want me to deliver some food to you?"

Hajime said, "No. Kenji-san, have a nice day at work."

Hajime ends the call with Kenji, and he continues doing what Kenji mentioned earlier. He finds that what Kenji asks him to do is easier said than done. He took a bath, made himself a big lunch, and lay in bed to sleep, but couldn't fall asleep. There was a strange feeling in his heart, which made his heart tremble with worries that even he could not explain.

Hajime sighed and closed his eyes, but he still couldn't fall asleep, so he decided to go to the roof to get some fresh air. He stood on the edge of the roof, watching the people below pass by him, and suddenly a person caught his attention. A beautiful girl in white walked towards him barefoot, wearing a silky white dress, smiling. The long black silky hair fluttered gently in the wind. Everything around the girl seemed to be illuminated by lights, and no one in the street noticed her except Hajime who was watching the girl from the roof. The way she looked at Hajime with a smile made it difficult for Hajime to look away. The girl continued to smile at Hajime.