Chapter 5: Absorbing the knowledge like crazy

Then I kept reading the many books but still it was no near even completing the fraction of books in the giant book.

Reading books made me state of trance where I was reading but not reading at the same time. Sense of time was vague for me now. 

A darkness rising from body started to envelop me all the directions leading me panic because I didn't what the hell was happening.

"Ding! Trial of Enlightenment or Demonfication has begun."

"Ding! Host is warned that host has to depend on himself for completing this trial."

"Ding! Failure in trials can result in Demonic nature controlling the host."

  I was now even more worried than ever before because I would prefer dying over being controlled by demonic nature. Because demonic nature involves killing, drinking blood, playing with soul, and satiating their lust by forcing themselves on many different races no matter their beauty or anything. It was too gore for him for even seeing, nonetheless feeling his body do it under the influence of demonic nature while being unable to do anything to stop it.

A number of memories started to revolve in front of him from his previous life. These memories was only composed of the sufferings, pain, questioning sanity and world itself. This was his dark self that hidden deep inside him never to touch or remember them again. But him being running from his negative side, his resolve got weak and more weak, and now seeing this things again was so much painful than any physical torture can bring.

Voices rose around him saying many stuff he would want to avoid at any cost.

"You smiled at people those who bullied because you were too weak to retaliate against them."

"You pushed out people from your life those who actually tried to love because you were insecure that how would live if they suddenly chose to left you. You had the insecurity of becoming overly independent on other's love."

"You were lazy and immersed yourself in the World fantasy by reading many novels, watching anime and comics, because you wanted to run from the reality."

"You neglected your feeling of anger, revenge, lust and everything your ever wanted, for what, for the sake of others, those who have did all the things gain benefits from you and then stab you into the back."

"You could never accept the pain of reality and always fantasized your desires in your dreams."

"If you think you was righteous then you should know you would be hypocrite to say that. Because at many moments you were able to able to help others those who really needed it but you did nothing back then."

"You are no different from everyone else because you only did good when it is easy to do so you can be called good people but never tried doing good when bullies are strong. You were afraid, and you are also afraid right now."

"Everything you do is always to survive instead of upholding you righteousness, morals or spiritual values."

"What otaku, You are just person who is weak willed and can't stand even the normal of problems."

These voices were coming from all the directions rendering him unable to do anything against it.

He was doubting himself because things said by the voices was actually correct.

The mist appeared and now dark form in the human figure of looking same exactly as he looked in his previous life.

Dark figure started murmuring, "You should accept because I am a part of you. You should let me be one in control of body because I can do things you always wanted to accomplish."

Saying these words, Dark figure started to merge with him forcefully when he was immersed in the words of the echoing voices. Features and body of dragons that he started to turn dark black and gaining more demonic kind of features.

"Ding! Demonfication of host has began."

"Ding! Spirit of the host is being intruded by demonic energy."

These notifications of system woke him up from the trance and mind- struggle he was in.

A light begin shining deep from inside his dragon while the good memories that he had made in his previous life also cam bringing a smile on his face and a determination appeared in his eyes.

With unwavering determination in his eyes he begin to reply to those voices saying:

"I wasn't just standing there when weak were bullied by the strong. I prepared my mind to become strong so that this never happen in my presence. I trained so hard for this. These incidents of my life shaped me into who I am."

"Those who I pushed out of my life were people who had opportunity and potential to go far for the better, and I don't want them to bound to me and waste their potential."

"I wasn't lazy or anything but I love to immerse myself into fantasy world where everything is possible because in that worlds I imagine myself saving those those I wasn't able to do so."

"I never ignored my hidden and dark desires but I just supressed them inside me until time when I follow my desires, it would not be considered evil deed like following my desire of lust after marriage with girl who I fell in love with. And same things goes for other desires."

"As for me just surviving, the whole concept of it behind my life is that first, I have to survive so I would still have the opportunity to change he world or do what I want. And to do those all things, it is very necessary for person to be living, for me to be living."

Finally letting his heart, Genesis felt that now his heart is finally light of all those burden of thoughts he held in for so long.

But, what Genesis did next was shocking because he spread his arms for embracing the dark side of him with love and acceptance.

"Come here, If you are my one side then you should stay with my other to balance the whole things. You are me and I am you."

Then a notification of system sounded.

'Ding! Host has completed Trial of Enlightenment or Demonification successfully.'