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Became a Medieval Fantasy Wizard

The absurd adventure story of Ian, a wizard in a medieval fantasy world. Support me: https://www.patreon.com/NeverluckySMILE DISCLAIMER The story belongs entirely to the original author.

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179 Chs

Chapter 24

"A bath?"

Now that the empire had fallen, the only ones who cared to bathe were the northerners.

It wasn't exactly due to the influence of the empire; it was more like bathing had always been a custom of the northerners.

The warriors of the north considered it virtuous to wash their bodies in the river every weekend.

However, the original proponents of bathing were indeed the Golden Empire.

Their ancient citizens also enjoyed bathing.

They utilized a technology called aqueducts to supply clean water to their baths.

It was a whole different dimension compared to the barbaric northerners who washed in cold river water.

But the people of the current Holy Empire didn't particularly enjoy bathing.

Although it shared the name "empire," the Holy Empire was in fact, completely different from the ancient Golden Empire.

Different race, different history.

It was only recognized as an empire by the pope.

Just look at Lucy; unless it was a special day, she didn't usually take a bath.

Therefore, it took Bernard a long time to understand the situation in front of him.

'The surroundings are chaotic, and the relationship between the knights and the wizard is weirdly close.'

The wizard simply ended his explanation with 'taking a bath,' but there must have been more to it.

Bernard was the young lord of Riverville.

If something happened, he naturally had the right to know.

Even if it involved travelers, not his serfs.

Because his family has jurisdiction.

"Wizard! Report in more detail!"

Bernard demanded confidently.

He had every right to do so.

Wizard Ian responded leisurely.

"My lord. Please, allow someone else to explain."

"Yes."

Bernard was flabbergasted as an elderly man stepped forward.

"What?"

I clearly... ordered the wizard to report?

You delegate it to someone else, in front of the lord of this place?

Insult! This is an insult!

In my 15 years of life, this is the first time I've been treated like this!

How dare they! Are they ignoring me?

There are actions that are acceptable in front of nobility, and those that are not.

The wizard's actions clearly crossed the line.

Nobles do not tolerate insults.

Those who insult a noble must pay the price with their blood.

"Now, now. My lord. The situation is like this..."

"Who are you?"

To Bernard's question, the old man bowed calmly and said,

"Please, call me Elder. I was a mercenary in my prime, rolling around in the dirt, and now I'm retired, helping young friends with their chores as a pastime."

"Elder..."

Obviously, it was a nickname or a pseudonym.

Elder means an old man or a senior.

But how can a person's name be Elder?

It was as thoughtless a pseudonym as 'Old man Kim' in Korea.

"Elder?"

"Yes, my lord. So, the reason this friend is bathing is..."

"Why are you answering my question?"

Bernard interrupted, and Elder's brows slightly furrowed.

He didn't make it obvious, but there was a hint of displeasure in his expression.

"I asked that wizard."

"He's a wizard, isn't he? I'll speak on his behalf..."

"No! I want to hear the answer directly from the wizard!"

As Bernard shouted, Elder cocked his head as if he was deep in thought.

But soon, he guessed what Bernard wanted.

The noble wants to speak directly to the wizard...?

"Ah, is that so?"

Elder chuckled.

At the same time, Sir Hansen whispered urgently.

"My lord. Leave the wizard be and ask that mercenary instead."

"Quiet!"

Bernard roared, and Sir Hansen felt a pain as if a skull mark was flying into his chest.

No, it was more like irritation.

Does this little sh*t even know what he's spewing out!

For a noble to confront a wizard first means...!

"Wizard! I am the rightful heir of the Kaltz family, destined to inherit Riverville! And you dare greet your ruler in the nude! Come out of the water right now, get dressed, and show some manners!"

"..."

Elder laughed quietly, and Sir Hansen covered his face with his hands.

Ah, that guy. Did he really go and do it...

Ian looked at Bernard's face for a while, then casually threw out a word.

"Now?"

"..."

Bernard looked incredulous.

Everyone else, except Bernard, had a 'told you so' expression.

"Yes! Right now!"

"I don't want to."

Elder murmured in a soft voice.

"It's started."

Wizards are rated higher the more eccentric they are.

And there's only one reason a noble would pick a fight with a wizard: to check the extent of a wizard's 'eccentricity.'

A noble picks a fight, and the wizard throws a tantrum...

This was precisely an ancient imperial noble ceremony known as 'Calling a Wizard.'

Lucy Talian was a noble.

Despite often doing somewhat unintelligent things, she had a noble upbringing.

It wasn't surprising at all that among the teachings she received was 'how to behave when meeting a wizard.'

Lucy analyzed the wizard handling methods she knew and, conversely, taught Ian 'how a wizard should behave when meeting a noble.'

When a noble and a wizard meet, they perform a show called 'Calling a Wizard.'

"Calling a Wizard?"

"Yeah. Simply put, Calling a Wizard is a process to discern a wizard."

The origin of Calling a Wizard was unclear, but it's believed to have started around the era of Archwizard Maronius (yes, the same guy who created the Maronius language).

In times when magic was still unfamiliar, there were many fake wizards.

These fake wizards would pretend to have learned threatening magic, intimidate nobles, and extort a large sum of money from them.

Thus, the nobles devised a procedure to deliberately provoke wizards to verify their magical prowess.

That is 'Calling a Wizard.'

When a noble encounters an unfamiliar wizard, they publicly insult and humiliate them.

Then, the wizard either leaves quietly or shows off their magical prowess and rebukes the noble in return.

A wizard who leaves quietly either lacks skill or is a fraud.

If the wizard demonstrates their power, the noble apologizes for their mistake and treats the wizard with great respect.

Because this 'show' was popular during the ancient Golden Empire era, 'Calling a Wizard' became a sort of tradition among the nobles.

Conversely, not performing 'Calling a Wizard' became interpreted as not treating the wizard properly.

Even commoners, as 'Calling a Wizard' became too famous, thought that quiet and gentle wizards lacked skills.

"That's why I thought you were an weak wizard when I first saw you."

"..."

From Ian's perspective, it was an exceedingly tiresome custom.

Anyway, now.

As Bernard grumbled and raised his voice, Ian thought 'that custom' had started.

'This must be... Calling a Wizard, right?'

"Wizard! I am the rightful heir of the Kaltz family, destined to inherit Riverville! And you dare greet your ruler in the nude! Come out of the water right now, get dressed, and show some manners!"

As the kid, who would barely be in his second year of middle school, yelled, annoyance surged.

For the record, Bernard was currently going through puberty.

The horror of a pubescent boy's voice was indescribably terrible.

My inner eccentricity popped out.

"Now?"

"Yes! Right now!"

"I don't want to."

As Bernard looked shocked, Ian was impressed.

Oh.

He's quite a good actor?

Can't lose to this.

Impressed by Bernard's performance, Ian put his all into playing the eccentric wizard.

"Why should I, noble sir? Am I your subordinate?"

"How, how dare you! Who do you think you're speaking in front of!"

"In front of you, my little lord. Who are you to order me around? Just a little lord."

Hahaha!

The spectators burst into laughter.

'Calling a Wizard' was not an everyday spectacle.

It was even more so because it was a legal way for a noble to be insulted.

Therefore, nobles usually performed 'Calling a Wizard' in a special space where only their vassals could see.

Naturally, because it was embarrassing.

Only a masochist would enjoy being insulted in front of others.

But Bernard started 'Calling a Wizard' in the backyard of an inn where everyone could see.

This was too entertaining a spectacle to miss.

Passersby sat around in groups to watch 'Calling a Wizard.'

The crowd that had gathered because of the recent commotion was enormous.

As the laughter of the commoners reached him, Bernard's face turned red.

These people, have all these people gone mad!

How can you laugh when your lord is being insulted?

Huh?

Do you all want to be executed?

Sir Hansen sighed deeply as he saw Bernard's face turn red.

'That idiot...'

It was too obvious what would happen if a noble insulted a wizard in the middle of a crowded street.

Did he think the wizard would just bow and say, 'Oh, sorry!' just because a noble raised his voice?

Instead, the wizard would turn the tables.

In 'Calling a Wizard,' the noble plays the role of getting thrashed.

This is an unwritten rule that not even the emperor can change.

If a noble initiates 'Calling a Wizard' and one side breaks the rules, the wizards would immediately spread the word.

'That bastard is a complete ass.'

A noble who is on the bad side of wizards has no future.

This has been an unchanging truth since the birth of magic.

"Sir Hansen! Drag that insolent wizard here at once! Pull him out and make him kneel before me!"

"..."

The expressions of the people who were watching the show with smiles worsened a bit.

That was a statement that clearly crossed the line.

This wasn't the progression people wanted.

'Calling a Wizard' was a kind of show, so the audience's judgment was inevitable.

It was directly tied to a noble's dignity.

Sir Hansen intervened before the situation worsened.

"My lord."

"What!"

"This is not how it's done."

"...?"

"Calling a Wizard. That's not how it's done."

"Su, Calling a Wizard?"

As expected.

Bernard didn't know how to perform 'Calling a Wizard.'

No, he didn't even realize he was performing 'Calling a Wizard'...

Sir Hansen sighed deeply and stepped forward.

He hated being made a spectacle in front of others, but an employee has to clean up the mess their boss makes.

What can you do?

If you don't like it, become the boss yourself.

Sir Hansen cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"Ahem. Listen, wizard! Judging by your bizarre appearance, you don't seem like a proper wizard! It's not too late, leave before the young lord declares his displeasure!"

A classic, clean, and perfect remark.

With Sir Hansen's intervention, the spectators smiled, the knights smiled, and both Lucy and Ian smiled.

Oh, someone who knows how to have fun.

Every show has its rules.

Whether it becomes a masterpiece or kindling depends on how well these rules are followed.

In other words, one had to 'understand the rules.'

Hansen clearly 'understood the rules.'

And it would lead to greatness.

"What? Did you just call me a fraud!"

Ian shouted, recalling memories from his childhood.

Thinking back, he had said to his master upon meeting, 'You don't seem like a real wizard.'

Wasn't that a mini 'Calling a Wizard'? Ian suddenly felt apologetic.

"[Run wild!]"

As Ian uttered the words, the mysteries around him tumultuously stirred.

The wind blew fiercely, the fireplace exploded, and the sand crawled eerily.

"Wow!"

"The wizard is angry!"

As if on cue, the spectators all gave a standing ovation.

This was the climax of the show.

Now that the angry wizard had shown his prowess, it was the noble's turn to show respect.

"Stop! I understand your power! We apologize for our rudeness!"

Sir Hansen shouted, and Ian stopped the magic.

He wasn't actually angry or sorry, but one side apologized and the other accepted the apology.

'Calling a Wizard' had ended.

"I apologize again for not recognizing such an exceptional wizard as yourself."

"As long as you recognize it now, it's fine."

Ian spoke like a true wizard.

He might have sounded a bit rude, but since the atmosphere around was like, "Yeah! That's how a wizard should be! Ha ha!" Ian nodded to himself.

No matter how he thought about it, everyone here was crazy.

"...My lord."

Sir Hansen poked the dazed Bernard in the back.

"Uh, huh?"

Bernard was in a state of shock, having witnessed magic for the first time in his life.

The sight of nature moving at the will of a human was shocking.

'What, is that still not enough?'

Ian was puzzled by Bernard's lukewarm reaction.

Hadn't 'Calling a Wizard' ended?

'Ah, I get it. They want to see more of my magic!'

"Hey, kid!"

"Me, me?"

"Yes! You, standing there dumbfounded! Why are you standing like that? Do you want more of my magic?"

Ian summoned a pitch-black darkness and entwined it around his fingertips, intending to wrap things up.

To an onlooker, it might have seemed like a terrifying curse-filled magic, but as anyone who has seen Ian's dark magic would know, it was just darkness.

But for Bernard, who was witnessing magic for the first time, the experience was terrifying.

That pitch-black darkness!

It felt as if touching it would rot the flesh off his bones with its wickedness!

Bernard looked at Ian, terrified.

With his hair and eyes both pitch-black, he looked like an evil wizard bringing misfortune.

"I, I am Bernard, the heir to Baron Kaltz! If you, you lay a hand on me, father will not stand for it..."

"A grown man still looking for his daddy. Aren't you ashamed? Or are you such a kid that it doesn't bother you?"

Ha ha ha ha!

Laughter from the common folk poured out. Bernard's face turned red.

He was a boy in the throes of puberty, rich in emotions but poor in controlling them.

"...Sob."

"???"

"Waaah~"

Overwhelmed by a surge of sorrow, Bernard burst into tears.

Ian was genuinely puzzled.

'Why the hell is this kid crying?'

Bernard crying was not something Ian had accounted for.

Beside him, Elder burst into hearty laughter.

"You really are peculiar! Even so, making the young lord cry in front of everyone! Hahaha!"

"You crazy old man. You find this funny?"

Ian swallowed hard.

This is f*cked.

Am I going to be executed by a pissed-off Baron Kaltz?