Dear Albert

In response to the sincerely, your relatives.

Dear Albert,

I may be old and fridge covered in mold, but you're not fooling these eyes with your buttery lies. You've suddenly invited yourselves into my life and caused such unfortunate strife-for my gold. I'd rather you leave, then you pestering peeves. So let me relieve you of your stress, although you've added to mine, not doubt an attempt to bring me closer to my deadline.

I'll make it short-You're not in my will, I'll send you the nursing bill.

Sincerely,

Your grandmother