CHPT 320: Unsteady Grounds....

A Lupine Alpha-- the title felt heavy, ancient. He didn't like it. Didn't like how it fit him like an oversized baggy shirt that smelled of someone else. But more importantly he didn't like what it all meant. The way it made his spine shiver.

All that realization did was further solidify that everything he was experiencing was real.

Arne cut into his thoughts, working to take him off the topic of titles and what they meant, "[But, we can talk more about all of that later. For now, you need to go see your friend. As you know, she knows your awake, so I suggest you get out there before she comes in...]"

He stayed silent for a moment before forcing himself to move, "...Yea you're probably right. Also, where's the door?" He asked before stepping out into the night with Frosty.

The air was smooth, rich and electrifying. The scents of burning wood, cooked meats, Rollan and Ursula rode the cold winds straight into his sensitive nose. It almost stopped him in his tracks as he noticed the new scent on her. The scent of Lupine. It was exactly as Aeron once described their scent. Wolf and Magic and many others. It was weird in a way he couldn't describe..

Up ahead, he could see the spark of flame deeper into the forest surrounding them, and accompanying it were familiar voices.

After a few seconds of walking, the flame only grew brighter, casting large shadows onto the bark of nearby trees as he passed and warming the grass beneath his feet hotter and hotter with each step.

The sight was only a couple dozen feet away.

They all were sitting around a fire, on rotted out logs while they ate and talked as if they'd known each other for a while.

Those damned social skills....

He made a final step when Ursula's ear twitched and she turned, focusing her honey-gold eyes on him before standing and walking over.

Her clothes were different. No more torn and tight blueshirt, now she wore one of Rollan's black turtle-neck sweaters that hugged her muscled frame with a pair of black pants that failed to hide the powerful curve of her hips and calves.

When she came to a stop in front of him, the light of the flames outlined her and danced on the fiery auburn strands of her hair that were now pulled into a tight ponytail like usual. She almost looked like her old self again.

"Erhm.....How are you?" She asked, almost in a whisper while the Pack paced around them.

"I'm alright. Still adjusting. But I'm good. Sorry about that....I....It's been a long few weeks." He said with a sigh.

"So I've heard. I really owe you one....more like one thousand to be honest." She said, still sounding like her insides were as flexed as his own were.

Oddly enough, he almost couldn't believe it. "You wha--...You know what I did, don't you?"

Ursula nodded, causing her braid of hair behind her to bounce around behind her, "Yes, I remember what you said. I don't know what it means fully, but I know some. I'll learn. I'm already learning the dangers....they aren't too different from the one's I have as a Berserker."

Claude felt like puking.

He forgot there was a chance she could feel it. She did.

"No-- Listen, I get it. And I meant what I said earlier. I really owe you one. You were faced with an impossible dilemma. You made your choice. Claude, I wanted to live. I want to be a Hero-- one unlike the dumb assholes at the top currently. I want to do something real. And I want to do it with my friends.....I don't think what I've become changes that, and until I break any laws or commit an injustice, nothing changes that. You remember what we're here for, right? Nothing has changed in that regard. I've just got some learning to do. We can work with what we've got."

"Have to." Claude replied.

"What?"

"We have to work with what we've got because we have no other options. And yea, I think I had to do what I did-- to save you. I would do it again-- I just don't like it. I don't want you to see what I have. But with what we are, we'll probably see a lot worse....and that Hero word will change for you sooner or later."

Ursula shivered at the end of his sentence, feeling the dread he felt when he mentioned the word in a way that felt almost like he hated it. Not exactly, but the feeling around the word for him was less positive than she remembered.

"Anyway, forget all the extra stuff. You've been asleep for a while. How do you feel?" He asked suddenly, sensing her discomfort.

She sighed as if she'd been inhaling for days and let out a laugh of pure relief. "I feel fine physically-- great actually. Other than the random moments I can hear your thoughts-- which is scary. Also are we always so hungry? And why do I want to run so bad?"

Claude found himself almost smiling while she rambled about everything he felt on a daily basis, then her smile faded as she pressed her hands against her cheeks.

"...I look like my Mother. At least I look like how I remember her."

Claude looked her over, noticing how she only looked a few years older, much taller, slimmer-- yet more muscled, and a bit more alive. She would've looked like her mother regardless.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

She shrugged, "It makes me sad, but it's whatever."

Rollan cut in, telling them their food was burning which got them moving again towards the smells of burnt and raw meats.

"You never told me about your mother. I get why you wouldn't if she's like your father.....no offense." Claude said, stumbling through it awkwardly as they walked.

Ursula shook her head, "None taken. And she's not. I don't remember much about her. She was pretty, her face was fun to look at. I remember people used to say she was Rory's Rising Sun. Always up in the morning doing something somewhere adding a bit of happiness to the house of grisly Heroes. I liked hearing people talk about her, it was much better than what I think she actual was at the Estate..."

Claude almost tripped by the sudden twist, "Which was...?"

Ursula shrugged again, seemingly unbothered by the horrid sounding parental issues, "..A victim. I think my father was abusive-- and controlling. And I think she was barely hanging on when my brothers were growing up. Those were her good qualities in my fathers eyes i'm sure. She gave birth to two strong boys that The Red Knight could mold into more....Red Knights. What a brilliant creative mind he has right?"

Claude stayed silent.

"Then, I was born. In the heart of summer at that. I'm sure he saw it as a sign until he was told I was a girl.....and then it all crumpled. I think my mother just couldn't see me as much more than the one that took her grievances to the highest degree. I don't blame her for running. I just know I wouldn't do that. There's a number of things she did that I wouldn't."

Claude couldn't imagine living with a parent that was being abused by the other. It sounded foreign even as a thought. So much so that he didn't really know what to say.

"Oh hell, sorry for trauma loading! I didn't mean for it to come out so....well you know." Ursula said with a shy laugh laugh as they approached the fire.

"No, no. I asked. I'm glad your not too plagued by it though. That sounds like it sucked, I'm sorry you had to experience that, Ursula."

"Eh." She shrugged her capped shoulders, "What about you, is the reason you never talk about your parents because your Mom is...well..."

Claude could've laughed at her innocence, "Yea, no. Absent mom for me too." Is all he said.

She nodded along while side eyeing him warily. "I see.." then she added with a joking tone in her hard to recognize voice, "Sucks for us, huh? No mothers at home to teach us the warm and loving side of life."

They'd approached the fire. Claude smiled faintly and waved away her words like they were a cloud of gnats, "Eh. I think we do the mushy shit just fine."

They both chuckled to themselves before sitting around the fire with Rollan and the others.

***

Hours passed in an array of foods, tense topics, laughter and overall conversation. And during the time, everyone slowly eased into a state of real comfort. Sure Claude's world had just changed as a result of changing another, but talking to Ursula on such common grounds oddly enough made him feel like he was back at the University again when it was just them at the end of a lunch table.

Weird that the memory felt years old and worlds away.

Soon enough, he could sense Ursula's drowsiness. A surprise considering he was rarely just tired as a Lupine. But natural nonetheless. She'd had a mentally exhausting day just as he had.

Hopefully he wasn't in store for much more...