The accretions to the personnel.

I succumbed to my impetuousness, of course. Alas, how often have I admonished myself not to yield to transient whims that can lead to prolonged disengagement from reality? Yet, to no avail; once again, I disregarded my own counsel and plunged headlong into a state of scientific frenzy.

For a period of twelve years, I remained sequestered within the confines of the academy, barely allowing myself respite from slumber, seeking solace only in the realm of meditation. During this time, several of my subsidiary streams of consciousness remained active, each engaged in its own endeavor of orchestrating intricate experiments within the virtual expanse of my mind.

In the event of promising and intriguing outcomes, a mental construct comprising meticulously curated information was meticulously crafted and subsequently dispatched to one of my illusionary avatars, who would then put it into practice, transforming this knowledge from mere theory into tangible expertise.

My vast knowledge of the diverse schools of magic and the cultures of various races, including those beyond the human realm, does not render me powerful or omnipotent. In order to effectively harness this knowledge, I must put it into practice, repeating the performance of spells and other magical practices hundreds of times. Only then can I confidently employ these abilities in combat or other situations that require their use.

I have delved into several spells from the realms of elemental magic and dark sorcery that piqued my interest. However, before I could fully utilize them, I needed to adapt them to my own strengths and capabilities, meticulously calculating correction factors for each element involved in the creation of the desired magical effect. This process required hundreds, if not thousands, of repetitions, followed by extensive training to master the new skills.. I integrated the newly acquired drow enchantments into the framework of my combat style, which was largely derived from Salazar's legacy, incorporating a substantial portion of the advanced elemental incantations and formidable curses derived from Morgana's recollections.

More than three hundred novel incantations from Dordsh and the library of the academy were successfully assimilated and incorporated into my repertoire of instantly accessible spells. This endeavor alone consumed over eight years of my time, accounting for the duration spent in the spell chamber of the academy, dedicated to the acquisition and refinement of these new spells.

It took me another two years to concoct potions, elixirs, and perform rituals that enhanced my strength and resilience to the rigours of the environment. I underwent a comprehensive course of immunization, imbuing myself with nearly absolute resistance to most toxins known to dark elves.

This intricate regimen of intravenous vaccinations and inoculations, coupled with the ingestion of a multitude of potions, elixirs, and the execution of one hundred and forty-nine specific rituals, proved to be an exceedingly costly endeavour. This expense was justified, as only acknowledged masters were capable of performing these rituals, crafting the essential poisons, antidotes, and vaccines required, with some of these tasks being exclusively within the purview of such masters. Moreover, the materials used in these preparations were themselves of considerable value.

This is why only a select few were able to undertake this journey, comprising the matriarchs of the original thirty Houses, along with the ten members of the City Council. Additionally, the Rector of the Academy of Magic, accompanied by his guards who served as instructors within the academy, were also included. Consequently, no more than two hundred individuals in total benefited from this advancement for the entire city. And let us not forget that the population of this city numbered at least half a million.

I am exceedingly pleased with the inheritance I have received in the form of Ellinor's former armour, the late Elven prince and hero. This piece of armour proves to be a unique personal artifact, intricately linked to the wearer's blood and soul, crafted by a masterful artisan and blacksmith. Now, it is an integral part of my attire.

It transpired that the armor possessed the capacity not only to be instantaneously summoned from a subatomic pocket within the wearer's body, but also to exist in a quasi-intangible state, yet simultaneously shielding both the physical and spiritual essence from the menace emanating from half of its inherent power, which it manifested in its unadorned form.

The combat circlet affixed to my shoulder was crafted from stellar metal, a valuable artifact that held no utility in my current circumstances. Within this realm, devoid of suns and stars, there existed no sources capable of granting me access to the seemingly limitless reservoirs of energy I had once envisioned.

Despite my daily engagement in the pursuit of knowledge and intellectual growth, I endeavored to set aside dedicated time each day for the creation of novel illusory duplicates, numbering slightly above ten thousand at this point. Upon realizing the magnitude of my illusionary creations and the existence of an army capable of swiftly vanquishing a hundred archimagery, I felt a sense of apprehension. Nonetheless, these illusions serve as my prized guardians, providing me with a formidable advantage.

Now that I have thoroughly immersed myself in the life of drow, where magic is not only an interesting but also a useful source of information, I can move on to further purify the city.

My knowledge of the city is now as deep as that of a native. Moreover, I have gained a deeper understanding of the drow's logic and their distorted worldview. This will greatly facilitate my task of collecting trophies and clearing the vaults and hidden locations of the city's «Noble» Houses.

It is not merely a matter of magic. This race is characterized by paranoia. Their twisted logic occasionally leads them into such obscure realms that their mechanical traps, devoid of any magic, far surpass anything humanity has ever conceived. The drow race, with its history spanning over a hundred thousand years, split from the Light Elves during a time when they were the most advanced civilization in their own world and among neighboring realms. Thus, there is no surprise in their advanced technological prowess.

There is no longer any reason for me to defer the moment of divestment. I have acquired some of Dordsh's valuable knowledge and abilities, I have accustomed myself to the poison, I possess an army, and I am now prepared to confront the three entities that have drawn my attention and which I have not yet detected. They must also be draiders, but it appears that they are exceedingly well-fed. However, we cannot rule out the possibility of other entities. Therefore, I have decided to take the utmost precautions.

In addition to my ten thousand illusory duplicates, which have been meticulously prepared, I have drawn a vast rune circle encircling the entire city. This circle serves multiple purposes:

1. It effectively suppresses demonic presences. Demons below the middle circle will be expelled back to their own realm, while higher-ranking demons and archdemons will experience significant weakening.

2. It grants me awareness of any movements, secret recesses, or any activity within the confines of the rune circle, including the presence of draiders.

3. In the event of a dire situation, by employing the rune circle in such a manner as to render it completely inoperative, I am capable of immobilizing everything within the circle for a brief period, except for myself.

******

«That is most unfortunate!» I exclaimed after the final monster had been vanquished.

How had things gone awry? Initially, all had seemed well: my clones had been clearing the city, while the draiders had been fighting with less strength than before. The divine magic that had transformed the drow into monstrous creatures had brought them closer to the demonic horde. As a result, the suppression had been effective, albeit not fully.

In the span of twenty-four hours, my illusionary forces had almost reached the heart of the city, including the square that held my interest. However, one aspect puzzled me. Where were the three individuals whose presence I sensed as I approached the magical dome encircling the square?

Just as I pondered this, the very ground beneath me split, scattering my «guardians» and hurling me aside. In a high somersault, nearly in flight, I beheld those whom I had been contemplating.

They were two colossal droids. If the largest of the former did not exceed the size of a two-storied house, these two were quadruple storeys tall. Two immense giants, moving with speeds barely discernible to my eyes and reactions, began to engage my clones in playful combat, stringing them up on their limbs as though their magical shields were not even present.

Observing them through my spiritual sight, I felt a chill run down my spine. The two creatures before me possessed the same strength as the Archidemon itself, and now these two monstrosities were rushing towards me with full speed.

As the stone pavement beneath my feet shattered, I leapt high into the air, and, upon landing in a newly formed hole, I apparated several hundred metres above the cityscape. I positioned myself where I could oversee the entire scene from the epicentre, ready to react instantly to any threat.

Except I did not have the time to devise a response. The creatures outnumbered me by a factor of ten in terms of physical strength. Although we were roughly equivalent in terms of the size of our secondary prana shells, they clearly had the upper hand in handling it, and the augmentation they received from prana far exceeded my own efforts.

Had I consumed Dracula's heart and attained the status of archmage in Sumerian yoga, I would still lack the control and expertise to wield such power effectively. Dracula acted instinctively, his methods not suited to my own. His knowledge was intuitive, drawing upon the nuances and sensations he experienced as he crafted magic and employed prana to enhance it. These insights came to him from an unknown source, imprinted on his spiritual shells. In contrast, I possessed brute force but lacked the finesse required to harness it. The meager fragments of knowledge I acquired from Salazar and Morgana provided me with only a few rudimentary skills.

The first step is to augment one's physical attributes. However, this approach to enhancing my bodily parameters was limited, allowing me to manifest only a fraction of my true capabilities. To create something original, one must have a foundation from which to build. It is akin to composing music: one can conceive a melody, but to record it on paper, one needs to know musical notation. In my case, with prana, it involves realizing it through the synergy of the soul and body. Ideas abound, but how to execute them and through what means... I am uncertain.

The second ability is the capacity to heal my physical form from injuries using prana. However, with the aid of magic, I am able to accomplish this task more effectively and swiftly. Prana undoubtedly holds greater utility for healing purposes, yet my proficiency in both magic and prana remains unparalleled.

In an instant, the two entities that stood before me and struck could instinctively employ the full extent of their capabilities. Their limbs pulsated with energy, a manifestation of the surging forces emanating from multiple layers of their souls. This ability required a more structured approach, one that could be replicated by me.

It was a skill rooted in intuition, accessible only to those whose souls were similarly chaotic, with all their layers intricately intertwined, creating a harmonious balance of energies within the body. As a result, the barriers of my illusory defenses proved inadequate against the assaults of these voracious draiders.

Apart from the fact that this chaotic concoction of energies proved destructive to the protective barriers, it also interacted with them through direct contact of souls with the opponent's magical shield. The mere presence of the Draiders' aura disrupted the harmonious arrangement of energy structures, resulting in a direct infusion of an extraordinary cocktail of diverse energies, a feat attainable only by archmages themselves.

With no alternative, I was compelled to resort to my last resort. I initiated the activation of the third nested function within my intricate runic circle, now encompassing the entire city in its protective embrace.

In an instant, the beings that had leapt into the air, now hovering a dozen meters above me, were rendered immobile. Their bodies, unable to resist the force of their own momentum and the energy they had expended in their initial movement, continued to move towards me, yet they were frozen in place.

Swiftly, I leapt past the nearest creature, landing behind it and striking the head of the defeated Dagon spawn with the heel of my staff. The impact pierced the creature's headless form, devoid even of a trace of rational thought. Only through this act of stunning paralysis could I access their mental realm, where there was not a hint of conscious volition. Instead, only a sensual essence existed, radiating with a fierce intensity, driven solely by a consuming rage.

Sending a potent avada through my staff, directly into the body of the creature, I severed the connection between its body and soul. It was not even an avada, but a Path of Anubis — an original spell from the Egyptian school of necromancy, from which the weaker avada later evolved.

The first monster's body had not yet reached the apex of its leap towards where I had been before — and its soul had already been captured by my staff. Another spell and another repetition of the same actions — staff to my head — and the soul of the second monster was also captured.

"Phew, that was close," I said, watching as the two enormous chimerae fell from a height of several dozen meters.

I must begin to master the power of my secondary soul shell without delay and bring my body up to a level where it can fully assimilate all available prana and match the demands of my mind. It is essential to reconcile their diverse capabilities of spiritual shells. Unfortunately, it is premature to promise equality.

Just as I intended to take a breather, leaving the subject of my development for a later time, the field of maximal suppression deactivated and became paralysed, leaving me vulnerable. I sensed a mortal peril, and only my instincts saved me from instant demise.

With time to react, I turned towards the threat and positioned my staff before me, preventing a massive, razor-sharp spider leg from disemboweling me. The impact was immense, sending my body hurtling towards the ground with near-sonic velocity, leaving a minor scratch on my staff! How absurd! I had believed only adamantium could harm my archmage trait!

As I hovered above my defeated foes, contemplating my own evolution, it was but a matter of moments before the suppression field would dissipate. Another draider materialized behind me, its spatial displacement following a predetermined shadow trajectory. This new adversary was smaller than those I had just vanquished, resembling a structure of about one and a half stories in height. However, this did not imply any diminution in its potency.

As death loomed over me, I swiftly sought a means of escape from this predicament. Among the three entities whose presence I had previously sensed, the last one to emerge was none other than a formidable High Mage, a being not merely skilled in the art of magic but also possessing an extraordinary reservoir of mana. I had managed to glimpse into his very essence, where beneath a vast ocean of mana lay lesser oceans of astral and sensual spiritual energy. To cap it all, he possessed a second layer of protection, which shone with a luminosity three times greater than that of Dracula himself!

In the brief instant that separated me from the prospect of imminent demise, a myriad of speculations and conjectures flitted through my mind. Among the multitude of potential solutions, I selected what I deemed the most plausible course of action.

Fleeing from the deity of dark magic in a confined realm, where everything is infused with its essence, would be futile for me. To confront it? Considering its ability to navigate through shadow trails in the cosmos, it is evident that it possesses superior magical prowess compared to its kind. However, traversing through the realm of shadows necessitates master-level proficiency.

Yet, given that I failed to sense its departure from the shadow plane into the physical world, it has mastered its own energy on a masterful level. Had it manifested its mana in the physical realm and unleashed it upon me, I would have been overwhelmed by its power. I cannot rival the Supreme. Moreover, it operates with mana and other soul energies at velocities beyond my comprehension.

And I was compelled to sense the perturbation of the shadowy scheme and the manifestations of darkness near me. After all, my affinity with these forces is now profound, owing to my practice with the energies of Dagon, god of the deep ocean, i.e., water and darkness, and Dracula, Archmage of Shadows. Their spirits steadfastly imbue me with the potency of their spiritual essences.

My sole hope now lies in employing the Light! Ever since receiving the cross and establishing a connection to the limitless ocean of divine power emanating from the celestial throne, I have ascended to unparalleled heights in my comprehension of this energy, mastering its manipulation as if it were an extension of my very being.

And so, I now, exerting all my being, all its layers, pushing them to their limits, in a single impulsive release, expended half of my mana pool and up to one-third of all other energies within my reserves, transmuted my mana into light, directed towards the creature, which, extending its four appendages in the form of spears, aimed at me. My attack contained the maximum amount of power my body could channel. I had already crossed the threshold, so a fierce backlash from the action would follow in a few moments. However, this was all I required.

My light not only inflicted severe damage on the creature, causing severe burns and disorientation for a split second, but it also blinded it in all dimensions of perception as I scorched it with the power of holiness.

With the pain of minor injuries to my spiritual shells, I leapt behind the third draider today, jamming my staff into its head. Following Anubis' Path into its body, I now possess three divine beings and two archidemons within my staff.

Marvelous! If only it weren't so tragic!

As I fell, before losing consciousness, I glimpsed several of my clones racing towards me.

I regained consciousness slowly. The damage done to my spiritual foundations was not trivial. There were numerous medium-level injuries, akin to those caused by severe curses, amounting to several hundred. Had I not possessed the all-healing divine Light, acquired through the use of the cross, which effortlessly and without assistance transformed the mana generated by my soul into virtually divine light energy — I may have remained unconscious for a decade. My swift recovery was owed solely to this power, which still lingered in significant quantities within my spiritual layers and physical form due to my forgetfulness.

It transpired that I had been unconscious for six months, during which time my surviving illusionary unit had been engaged in the task of eliminating any remaining threats in the city. With no further threats to contend with, they refrained from undertaking further extermination efforts. Instead, they demonstrated their creativity and initiative, devising a ritual that enabled them to create clones without my assistance.

Within the structure of the clone, there was a module designed to replenish mana externally, but its capacity was limited to their own needs. They were capable of replenishing their master's reserves in a day and a half.

I had already created numerous illusory duplicates that drew mana for their existence from the ambient energy background. These duplicates had significantly reduced their mana consumption, resulting in a prolonged restoration period for their reserves. The requirement for additional energy was evident.

My clones, on the other hand, adopted a distinct approach in their creation process. Despite possessing all my knowledge, they lacked my abilities due to limitations imposed by their energy system. Their capacity for independent replication was non-existent. Their illusory forms were not equipped to generate the necessary amount of mana required to create clones identical in power to myself. Their domain lay in illusion master magic, which would prove ineffective against these creatures.

They also devised a ritual that incorporated the knowledge of magical theory and the practices of the drow. The process of creating a clone involved having one of the existing clones present as a template for the copy to be created in the ritual. This was facilitated by the disruptions in the Plan of Light, which perfectly met the requirements for mana and bandwidth.

In J.K. Rowling's world, I have never encountered anything similar. I cannot comment on the fey who once visited our planet, but human civilizations have not yet attained such knowledge. Certain rituals can extend an existing connection with the magical essence of the world and stabilize it. However, reaching the other plane is beyond our capabilities. My silver cross, however, is an exception. In essence, it is a unique artifact of elemental nature.

During the period of rest from their righteous labors and battles, my clones have restored their numbers to the level I once deemed optimal — ten thousand. Moreover, they now possess a direct conduit to the realm of pure and untainted Light, free from the influence of extraterrestrial entities.

It is regrettable that I cannot directly channel such power into myself, and must rely on an artefact to access free mana. This method of replenishing one's own reserves has a significant drawback. The pure mana obtained in this way is utterly unyielding and… untamed? I must find a better way to describe it. Using it, a mage will constantly be exposed to its influence, which seeks to transform a rational individual into… an adherent? A zealot? In short, an ardent follower of its tenets. I have no desire to become an angelic entity.

Since the clones, in essence, are magical illusory constructs devoid of souls, guided solely by my mental imprint imbued within their very essence, they are unaffected by this influence. Thus, they utilise pure Light solely as fuel for their operations and magical creations.

Another drawback of such an energy conduit is that if an individual with the capacity to erect spatial barriers were to oppose my clones, they would sever their connection to the ethereal plane and consequently lose access to its replenishment. Even in the contemporary era of Salazar's world, such barriers remain accessible to magicians, and many adept practitioners of enchantments possess this ability. However, its utilization remains infrequent. This knowledge is particularly valuable for magizoologists and those engaged in the fight against malevolence, as many creatures traverse between planes within the magical realm. Examples include the phoenix, a prominent figure in this regard, as well as nundu and vampires, who can navigate through shadows. While the latter may have been a concern in the past, my witches, to my knowledge, have eradicated them. Nonetheless, it is possible that they may have found refuge in obscure locations, maintaining a low profile.

Such barriers are seldom employed against mages, and only when the target's capacity for escape is known. To think that it was possible to draw mana from such a communication… No, it would have never occurred to anyone.

In the past six months of my unconscious state, I have almost completely recovered. My archrivals have done an excellent job on me. Throughout this time, I have been dosed with potions and elixirs, and placed in a ritual circle for healing of spiritual traumas. Moreover, these individuals have thoroughly explored the city, accessing every nook, cranny, and treasure trove of the local noble houses. The sole unexplored area in the city remained the region under the shield, which they did not attempt to breach themselves, as they were unaware of what lay beneath. Thus, they deferred this honourable task to me, and rightfully so. What if another red-eyed individual lurked beneath? Not only was my physical form compromised, but I was also mentally and spiritually weakened.

Upon sorting and analysing the data I received from my spectral duplicates regarding their activities and discoveries, I uncovered the method by which the three final Driders I eliminated managed to conceal their presence from me and the protective rune circle surrounding the city. It was through the use of divine Llos artifacts that they achieved this feat. These artifacts, imbued with the energy of the goddess we abhor, would have been dispatched by my duplicates into chaos had they been certain that the breach in the realm barrier they opened would not expand and pose a threat to this realm and our existence.

In addition to these artifacts, a plethora of other analogous products of divine ingenuity were discovered. However, my attention was not drawn to them, with the exception of a few that proved to be particularly intriguing. Among them, the ring stood out as the most delectable.

This artifact was a quintessential example of elemental craftsmanship, yet its functionality and potential were truly extraordinary. Its design included a unique feature: it was capable of interacting exclusively with female sentient beings.

With the aid of this ring, one's control over the elemental force of air became incredibly potent, akin to receiving a powerful ancestral blessing, albeit manifested in a tangible form rather than within the soul. Moreover, it granted the ability to assume an ethereal state, enabling instantaneous translocation to any location within the realm where air existed.

The sole item my clones discovered that I deemed useful was an elemental artefact in the form of a diminutive orichalcum pendant. This artifact granted the ability to conjure holy flames. One of the clones, in addition to performing the ritual of knowledge, had already put the pendant to use, and our light-based mana augmented the flames by a factor of two. In comparison to the manifestations of darkness and their representatives, these flames were dozens of times more potent than the infernal flames of Hell. And they were equally as potent in all other respects.

I reserved all other items for potential gifts and rewards for my vassals and those who proved themselves worthy and reasonable.

******

I devoted yet another week to the final tidying up of my affairs, relying solely on my own efforts. It is far simpler for me to repair myself than even with the aid of my own illusory duplicates.

Simultaneously, I attempted to delve into the memories of the drider souls within my staff. Unfortunately, these chimeras possessed a portion of their mental entities where memories were deliberately erased. There, I encountered a state of pristine purity. Even the construct that had replaced their minds had not touched this area. Most likely, this was done to ensure the security of the chimera's own mental construct against any potential damage.

The rationale behind this decision was that if there was any active movement of psychic energy in the vicinity of the previously erased memories, there would be a minuscule, almost negligible, possibility that some remnants of memory could be restored. Such an occurrence could potentially lead to a malfunction or even destruction of the chimera's controlling construct. Therefore, in this specific section of the sixth stratum, absolute static stasis was maintained.

Thus, I remained ignorant of the ultimate outcome of events that transpired here tens of millennia ago, when Dordsh sought to draw the attention of the Light God to this cursed city and endeavored to escape its clutches. He returned to the sanctum that had served as his abode for all these ages, oblivious to the chaos unfolding beyond its confines.

"Well, my friend," I addressed my clone-aide, "it is time for us to conclude our affairs in this city." At my words, he rolled his eyes and made his way towards the exit of the dwelling once occupied by the most powerful family of Stlloshh, overlooking the plaza where the grandest sacrificial altar to Llos now stood, concealed beneath a massive magical dome spanning a hundred meters in diameter.

Here I stood, confronting this very barrier in the heart of the city, attempting to discern its nature... but to no avail.

It is like a living entity, constantly evolving, assuming the most intricate shapes I could not have envisioned in my most inebriated state. Yet, only I seem to comprehend the logic and structure of this enchanted formation, grasping it by the tail as it morphs into another shape with entirely different attributes and parameters.

As I observe the hundredth permutation of this transformation in the hour I have spent beside it, attempting to decipher its meaning, a commonality begins to emerge between all the manifestations of this barrier I have encountered, hinting at a deeper understanding. The more diverse manifestations of this magical barrier I witness, the stronger my association with spiderwebs becomes. What is the purpose of these webs? Yet, there is no hint of spiders — an eternal adversary unnatural to my serpentine essence.

The magic imbued in the barrier upon which it is constructed is neutral, tinged with a hint of primordial chaos.

But what is the significance of discovering a resemblance between the shapes of the shields and a spider's web? If this barrier were created by the power of Llos, one might attempt to pierce it with light or use poison.

With no other ideas at hand, I summoned my staff and prodded the barrier with its tip, which was not just the horn of a miscarried Dagon but also my own talon. The result was both striking and unexpected: the barrier shattered like a soap bubble. My entire army, who were in full readiness near the square, tensed, anticipating anything, but their caution was unnecessary. There was nothing but a massive altar slab. Except for the many drow mummies stacked on top of each other.

The former altar slab, in my energetic vision, dazzled my spirit with its power. No longer an artifact of the cult of Llos, it has become the sole and primary source of energy for this domain. Its power sustained and protected this place from chaos.

There is nothing left of the Spider Queen in this sacred space. The slab is now neutral, devoid of any affiliation. Through an intricate understanding of its structure and function, I have unlocked the grand and unfathomable transformation of raw chaos into pure mana. This revelation was once deemed impossible, even to the ancient and powerful gods who once inhabited this world. They, too, were awed by its power, akin to alcoholics in the throes of codependency.

My journey to unravel the secrets of this object was long and arduous, all due to the influence of chaos, whose mere presence carries consequences. After several moments of contemplation, as I stood before the pristine slab, I felt its attempts to exert its influence. Oh, the horror! I found myself unable to move.

I ceased my efforts to comprehend the intricate workings of the mechanism that transforms this energy into a form familiar and accessible to me, mana. Instead, I shifted my focus to exploring the remaining functionalities and capabilities of this magical source.

However, these were limited in number. It appeared that the sole function of this source was to maintain a connection with an entity possessing a soul and transmit energy through that connection. The altar itself already had such a connection established. This connection was my purpose here, as revealed by Leshy, the guardian of the forest.

The frustration arose from the fact that I lacked the ability to manipulate the mechanism of the magical source and sever this connection without irreparably damaging the altar. To sever the connection, I would need to eliminate the individual who had been drawing upon the domain's power. Additionally, I could establish a new connection with the source through this altar if I desired.

The flow of energy that coursed through this connection on a daily basis, somewhere beyond the confines of the city, was akin to the amount of magical energy the source at Hogwarts generates and dispenses in a single month. This potent energy sustains an intricate network of enchantments and rune sequences that comprise the most intricate and awe-inspiring artifact of our time, and likely for the next few centuries as well.

And yet, here I stood, confronted with such immense power, all of it delivered in a single day. On the other side of the city boundary, where the connection from the erstwhile altar stretched like Ariadne's thread, I found myself in the midst of a catastrophic mishap so monumental that I could not help but curse loudly and vehemently.