Chapter 9: A Civil Action, Cut, and Print!

After arguing the matter over with her father numerous amounts of time, Homer finally said "ok" and Lisa and him walked over to the office of Patricia Bouvier, Aunt Patty's, office. Knocking on the door, they were met with a hesitant grunt and then the door opened.

Patty leered at Homer when she saw him and then she saw Lisa next to him.

"So, this is how you're going to let me see my niece, Homer? Dressed like one of my girls?"

Homer scowled at his sister-in-law while Lisa tried to maintain the peace. Lisa explained both reasons for them being there and why Lisa was dressed the way she was. When Lisa had mentioned Jessica Lovejoy, Patty seemed to be surprised.

"Lovejoy? She's having a wedding in our main parlor on the second floor above."

This both shocked and confused Lisa; Homer, on the other hand, was busy looking at some photos on the wall.

"Who the hell is Hilary Clinton?" He asked.

Chapter Nine: A Civil Action, Cut, and Print!

Alex was taken to a room that was opposite from the one Bart was in, and was promptly locked tight.

Alex still had no clue on why Gina and Jessica joined forces. Both wanted Bart, that was all too clear, but working together? They both couldn't have Bart, so why?

Alex felt her head strain from trying to figure out these questions and decided to concentrate on finding out if Bart might be able to hear her through the wall.

"Bart?"

No answer.

"Bart, it's me Alex, are you ok?"

Still no reply. The first rational idea came to Alex that they might just have him tied up and gagged, but then other dreadful scenarios surfaced in her mind.

Tears started coming to Alex's eyes and she started banging against the wall.

"Bart! Please, answer me!"

The, her body weakening, Alex slumped down the wall to the floor and softly cried herself asleep.

It was an hour later when she awoke and she heard a tapping on the wall.

"Alex?"

Jessica Lovejoy stormed into the boardroom, which was across the room from the reception hall.

Gina, Sherri, Terri, Nelson, Michael and his goons were all there talking amongst themselves.

"I thought this was going to be smooth and discreet. What the hell happened! Why is Lisa Simpson and that one girl here?"

Gina sat down and smirked at Jessica, "You know, as well as I do, how Lisa Simpson loves to be nosey and solve things she shouldn't. It's just a minor formality."

Jessica still frowned, "But who told her that we were going to be here."

Nelson stood forward, "That pip-squeak Martin Prince. I was talking on the phone with Michael and Martin must've overheard me. Don't worry, I'll take care of him."

Jessica still looked away, tapping the table, impatiently.

Gina sighed, "What's the problem, Jessica?"

Jessica stood up, "The problem? The problem is I've spent so much of my money to make this plan work and right now the plan isn't looking too good. I thought busting you out of jail, and enlisting the help of the Mafia would help. But no, Bart's resisting the drug; a drug, I was told, would even work on a chimp!"

Sherri spoke up, "But, Jessica, Bart's no ordinary chimp."

Gina just sat back and thought to herself:

This woman tries too hard. Bart really isn't that hard to get but it requires subtle honesty, which wins him over in a heartbeat. Although, the way things are looking with him and Alex, that may not be the case anymore. Anyways, Jessica sprung me from jail to help her get Bart; the least I could do is make an attempt to help her out.

"Gina, what should I do about Lisa Simpson?" Asked Jessica.

Gina sighed and waived a dismissive hand, "Do what you want, Jessica. I've gotten you this far, I'm sure you'll be able to take care of the rest."

Gina, then, got up and walked out of the room, being followed quickly by Sherri and Terri.

Once out of the room, Sherri walked in front of Gina and asked, "Remind me why you're doing this, Gina."

Gina stopped and looked at both of the twins.

"Isn't it obvious? This isn't a free "get out of jail" card I got, I've got to pay dues."

"I thought you loved Bart. Why are we letting Jessica have him? Doesn't it upset you?" Terri asked.

Gina didn't answer but instead looked at the floor. She held her gaze there for a minute and then looked at the girls again.

"Why is this bothering you two?" She asked.

Sherri sighed, "I don't know really. I guess it was fun to think of the idea that things were going to go back to the way they were."

Terri nodded, "You know, back to the "old days"."

Gina stood there looking at them and turned her head away and kept walking down the hall not looking back at either of them.

Bart leaned the left side of his body against the wall as he conversed with Alex on what has happened since he'd been kidnapped from his apartment.

"You know, you're torturing me by that description of what you're wearing now." Bart grinned.

He could tell she was blushing on the other side when she told him to hush.

Bart smiled to himself. It felt good to him talking to her. During his time, he had wondered if anyone knew he had gone. Hearing that his sister and Homer were here gave him reassurance that he'd be found.

There was an unlocking sound to Bart's door that made Bart cease his discussion with Alex and lay back to the way he was.

When the lock was removed and the door opened, Bart glared venomously at Gina as she dragged a chair in to sit down on.

"And just to think, I was about to forgive you for all that you did to me."

Gina smiled at Bart; "I remember a time when you liked being tied up, Bart Simpson. You didn't complain then, did you?"

Bart noticed that Gina was saying that statement loud enough so Alex could hear her in the room opposite.

Bart turned his head away, to avoid looking at this woman.

"What do you want Gina?"

Gina shrugged, "It's not exactly what I want, now is it? This is all Jessica's little scheme on trying to make Bart Simpson her own. I must admit, Bart, she's very ambitious."

Bart, gloomily, nodded. He then looked back up at Gina.

"Let me guess, she's the one who sprung you from jail and is using you to get at me, right?"

Gina was taken back, "Wow, nice guess. You're right. She did, but that's not the extent of it. At first I flatly refused and then she put another chip on the table. She's paying me a lot of money for my service in this matter."

Bart eyed Gina suspiciously; "Do you trust her to keep her word?"

Gina shrugged, "It's hard not to. I'm indebted to her and have to see this out. Besides, all she wants is you, and when you finally break and she has you, I'm off the hook."

Bart laughed, "Wow, she's using you better than she used me when we were kids."

Gina cocked an eyebrow, "What do you mean."

Bart looked up at Gina, playfully; "Don't you get it, Gina? You're her scapegoat, the patsy, her Lee Harvey Oswald, you're the one who takes the fall, if or if not this plan of her fails."

Bart's magic seemed to work, as Gina seemed a little disturbed by what Bart had said.

"Maybe, but she still doesn't hold all the reins on me, and believe me, Gina Darrlow does have an escape plan."

Gina got up and left the room.

Alex had listened to the whole conversation and just whistled to herself, in amazement. The puzzle pieces seemed to be falling into place. There still was something about this that didn't make sense to her. Why did Jessica make herself such a likely suspect for kidnapping Bart? Why not come to the police with an alibi and try to pose herself as an innocent person? Alex reminded herself on what Bart had warned Gina. Gina was Jessica's escape. If Jessica couldn't have Bart, Gina would be sent back to jail because of it. Alex, suddenly, felt a little sorry for Gina. She was going to get sent back to prison no matter what she did in this. Her only outlet seemed to be of the cash Jessica was offering.

Alex was thinking more about it until the door to her room cracked opened and an all too familiar voice said to her:

"Be quiet and do exactly as I say."

Homer, Lisa, and Patty were heading to the landing of the stairs when the fire alarm sounded. Patty immediately abandoned the two and went to escort her women out of the building; Homer was about to leave too until Lisa reminded him of what they were trying to do.

The two guards that were protecting the landing left their posts and hurried upstairs. Homer and Lisa followed them up the stairs and down the hallway where a number of people were running past them and down the stairs.

One of the people, the preacher, Homer grabbed and pulled in close.

"Okay, Preachy, where's the boy?"

The Preacher seemed confused.

Homer then started shaking him.

Lisa put a hand on her father, stopping him from giving the man possible whiplash.

"Where's Bart?" She asked him.

The man pointed, with a shaky finger, to a room that had two double doors.

"Down there and in a room to the left." He said.

Homer dropped him to the floor and the two then went through the double doors only to find themselves being pointed at by a dozen guns.

Homer nervously chuckled. "Uh, Lisa, honey, what now?"

Lisa didn't have a clue.

Suddenly, Lisa saw Jessica come out of a room and shout, "He's not in here, either! Who was supposed to be watching them!"

Everyone, minus Homer and Lisa, nervously looked around at eachother.

"Find them!" Jessica barked. Jessica then left, totally unaware that Homer and Lisa were there.

The men put away their guns and then went into a mad hustle and darted darting in every way around the room.

Lisa and Homer made their way through and went to the room where Jessica had come out of. In there they found a straight jacket lying on the floor.

Lisa turned to her father.

"Bart's not here, Dad." She said sadly.

Homer scratched his head. "Well, where could he be?"

Sitting together in Barney's car outside of the Maison Derriere, Bart and Alex watched as the place started pouring out people.

Barney Gumble, whose hair was thinning on the front, had grown a graying beard to which he was rubbing.

Moe was sitting right next to him in the passenger seat.

Barney adjusted his glasses as Bart tapped him on the shoulder.

"Uh, Barney, shouldn't we be getting out of here so we're not seen?"

Barney belched, "Yes sir, Mr. and Mrs. Rosenthal, right away."

Barney then peeled out of the driveway and took Bart and Alex to Moe's.

Moe brought the two of them to the back cellar and said quietly to Bart, "Okay, now listen you two, there's a trap door on the floor there that leads down to the underground and in there is a ladder that comes out behind the bar. Get out that way and there should be a taxi waiting to take ya back home."

Bart nodded, "Thanks Moe. By the way, how did you know about us being held up?"

Moe smiled, "Well I'd do anything for Homer, and the two of you helped keep me in business for a good long time."

Bart shook his head; "You still didn't answer my question."

Moe looked behind himself and said quickly, "A friend told me, now scram, before anyone realizes you was here."

Moe, then, shut the door in front of Bart.

Alex, who was behind Bart, pulled on a string that was attached to a light.

"Wonder who that "friend" was." She said.

Bart shook his head, "I don't know. Let's get out of here."

Alex nodded.

They found the latch Moe was talking about and went down to the sub-floor basement. In there were numerous cots and survival supplies, which suggested that Moe, at one time, was using the place as a bomb shelter. Next to a case full of DDT was the ladder leading up. Coming out of the trap door which was next to "Horny Toad" adult bookstore, Bart and Alex spotted the cab next to the side walk.

Getting inside and giving directions to the Simpson's house, Alex exhaled a deep satisfying sigh.

Bart leaned next to her and kissed her gently on the top of her head.

The two were soon headed out home.

Homer and Lisa, even though they protested, were ushered out of the building by the Fire Department.

Homer desperately tried to get back in but was thwarted everytime by muscle bound firemen.

He soon gave up and sat down next to Lisa on the curbside.

Lisa looked down at the ground, sad and scared.

When the two of them heard Jessica say "them" Lisa was concerned that they had Alex too. They found another room next to Bart that had a similar lock, which was also empty.

Inside, Lisa recognized a faint smell of the type of perfume Alex uses.

Lisa had no trouble putting two and two together and knowing Alex probably found where Bart was and got herself captured. Now, Lisa had lost two people who meant something to her. Lisa gritted her teeth in anger. How sweet it would be if she got some alone time with Jessica and make her regret coming back to Springfield.

Lisa's violent, malicious, thoughts were put on hold as her cell phone was buzzing.

"Hello?"

"Lisa, are you and your father ok?"

It was Marge.

Lisa nodded, "We're fine. We lost Bart and Alex though."

Lisa then heard her mother clear her throat.

"Lisa, I want the both of you to come back home. Maggie needs to get picked up also."

Lisa was surprised by how her news didn't seem to affect her mother.

"Uh, Mom, didn't you hear me? We lost Bart and Alex."

Marge seemed to be a little preoccupied while talking to Lisa as Lisa kept on hearing other noises in the background.

"I heard you, Lisa. Now, please get your father and Maggie and come home." Marge then hung up the phone.

Lisa closed her cell phone, wondering if her mother was now getting into her senility this early in life, when something hit her.

She turned to Homer, "Dad, we need to get Maggie, I think Mom may have some info about Bart and Alex."

After picking up Maggie from the Springfield YMCA, the three went back to the Simpson's house where Lisa immediately ran inside and started calling out.

"Mom! We're home! What did you hear about Bart and Alex? Please tell me they weren't found dead! Were they?"

Marge came into the room and started hushing her daughter.

"Lisa please be quiet. Your brother and Alex are trying to sleep."

Lisa put a hand to her mouth, embarrassed by her outburst.

Marge gathered the three of them into the kitchen with her.

"Bart and Alex arrived thirty minutes ago. Someone helped them escape from that dreadful burlesque hall."

Marge had never liked the building despite the fact the town had fully embraced it and her sister was now running it.

"I decided to let them rest while I cooked a big "Welcome Back" meal for all of us." Marge finished.

"Mmmm…Welcome Back…Meal." Homer started drooling.

Marge had gone back to the oven while Homer was looking at all the things prepared at the table.

Lisa still wasn't satisfied and was hungrier for information than the baby back ribs and vegetarian tamales Marge was making.

"Who rescued them?"

"Moe and Barney." Marge said.

Maggie whistled in surprise, "I guess this means we'll have to re-include them in our phone book, huh Mom."

Marge nodded.

It was after ten o' clock when Bart and Alex had emerged from Bart's room and came into the dining room.

Bart was immediately hugged by both of his sisters.

"Hey, easy you two, I'm still a little weak where Dolph kicked me." Bart said wincing.

Lisa was on the verge of tears, "Oh, Bart. I was so worried."

Bart, affectionately, patted the top of his sister's head.

"Geez, Lise, don't have a cow, ok?"

Lisa chuckled a little hearing that.

Alex also got a hug from Lisa, although Lisa didn't display that same outburst of emotion she did from Bart.

Alex and the Simpson Family sat down to eat and Alex couldn't help but laugh as she watched the entire family, noisily, wolf down Marge's food.

After they had finished, Alex and the Simpson family seated themselves in the living room all with wineglasses making toasts to Bart and Alex's safe return.

Bart held his glass up high and said, "To Jessica Lovejoy, the one woman whose made my life a living hell and the same person who I'm going to have arrested and put away for a very long time!" Everyone cheered at this.

Later, when everyone was getting ready for bed, Lisa and Bart sat alone in the kitchen drinking milk.

"Bart, I was wondering, when you made that toast, why did you exclude Gina?"

Bart put down his glass and wiped his upper lip.

"Because, she's not the brains behind this scheme, it was Jessica."

Lisa sighed, "But Bart, she did have an equal hand in it."

Bart nodded, "She did, but look at it from a lawyer's view, Lisa: If I get Jessica I'll also get Michael "Baby Tony" Williams and his gang. It's the perfect domino dropper."

"So, what, is Gina just too small of a piece for you?" Lisa asked.

Bart shook his head, "No, it's not because of that. She's gone, Lise."

Lisa looked perplexed, "Gone?"

Bart nodded, "Maggie told me, after dinner that she was calling her to yell at her but found out from Gina's mother that Gina had packed up all her things and was gone."

Lisa looked down at the table and sighed, "I guess all you have left is Jessica, huh?"

Bart nodded, "And tomorrow I'll make sure of it."

The following day Bart went straight to the Springfield Police Department and straight to Police Chief Lou's office. Bart explained to him what was said and what had happened Lou had listened intently all the way through, but when Bart came up with Lou posting an arrest warrant for Jessica, Lou stood up and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Simpson, I can't."

Bart's jaw dropped to the floor.

"You can't?"

Lou nodded, "We weren't there. It'd be an improper arrest warrant. No judge would validate it."

Bart stood up, "What the hell are you talking about! My whole family can contest to the fact that I was kidnapped, hell, the whole city can! Alex Whitney could also, for she was also being held up besides me!"

Lou still said no.

Bart was furious by this and decided to head on over to the DA's office and file his situation with them only to find out from the Secretary that DA Cecil Terwilliger went on vacation to the Bahamas and wasn't expected back until December.

"What about the assistant DA?" Bart asked.

The Secretary with her big round eyes, looked confused. "Assistant DA? He's in prison. We're waiting for him to come back to work in three years."

Bart sighed loudly and left.

Bart's last place was the Mayor's office. Mayor Wendell Flodin, whose consistent sickness made him one of the most bizarre Mayoral candidates chosen by this city, was in fact a well respected Mayor when he won the election all the way through. Bart held him in respect but always felt guilty knowing that he wasn't the best person to him when they had been to school together. That was going to make this all the more harder, yet, Bart was convinced that he could still deal with Mayor Wendell.

Mayor Wendell's secretary wasn't at all helpful, unfortunately. It took almost thirty minutes until Bart managed to pry the phone away from her only to have her tell him that the Mayor wasn't there.

"Well, where is he?" Bart asked.

"City Hall, doing a zoning meeting with the Yokel family and HaYuk Family, now, if you don't mind." She then went back to her phone call.

As Bart was walking away from the office he was wondering who else he could talk to.

Then it hit him… his office.

Taking a cab to the East Side of Springfield and arriving at his building, Bart took the elevator to the third floor and walked up to the receptionist at the far right side.

"Hello, Gladys, are the boys available?" Bart asked.

Gladys seemed to brighten up as she looked up and saw it was Bart, "Why, yes Mr. Simpson, they are. In fact, they told me to tell them to let them know when you came in."

A little while after, Bart was soon sent through the double doors and inside situated along side the long, narrow, table were his colleagues.

Alan Kelly, Richard Barnaby, and Phillip Greg, all of whom were talking animatedly, stopped when they heard the door and ran over to shake Bart's hand.

"Bart, old lad, grand to see you in such good shape, ma'boy!" Said Barnaby.

"Are you kidding? It'll take more than a thousand mobsters to bring down our kid!" Said Kelly.

"Hear! Hear! Bart, it's good to see you well, ol'chap." Said Greg.

Bart had always been fond of these old shysters.

When everyone had settled, Bart sat down with the three of them and announced that he was going to file a civil suit against Jessica Lovejoy for kidnapping. When Bart was finished, he found the room deadly silent.

The air that was previously in the room seemed to have died and the previously over-joyed colleagues of Bart's seemed to look at eachother, nervously.

Bart groaned to himself.

Ay Carumba, not them too.

"You think it's a bad idea?" Bart asked.

Kelly shook his head, "No, Bart, it's a capital idea, it's just…"

All three went silent again until Greg spoke.

"Bart, there's something you should know."

Bart looked at the three, "What?"

Barnaby stood up and went to the window. Looking out, he sighed and turned to Bart.

"Bart, Ms. Lovejoy is suing us and you for sexual harassment."