Chapter 20: Hell's smells and Wedding bells

Two days after the monumentous trial, everything seemed to calm down, at least for a little while.

Lisa gave the golden gun to Rainer and Greta gave the deed to the Jazz Hole to Lisa as per their agreement.

Lisa had promised Greta that she would include what Greta had in mind for her father's memory with her plans of restoring the Jazz Hole to its beatnik purity.

How she was going to do that, Greta had no idea.

So far, within the week, Mr. Burns' warning to Bart hadn't been made good and Homer told everyone that they shouldn't worry about it so much.

"The old skeleton was probably just blowing off some steam for losing that case. There's nothing to worry about."

In very few cases has Homer ever been right about a grim situation, but not in this case.

Mr. Burns, having lost the case against the Simpson women and the Van Houten family, made it his personal vendetta to put the entire Simpson family into utter misery.

He started by bribing the Cable Company to cut the Simpson's cable. At Moe's he hired a man to prevent Homer from ever getting a beer and to also follow him around town to make sure he never got a single drop from anyone or anywhere.

With Marge, he bought out the Korean company that made the certain ingredient found in her hair spray that caused her hair to be erect twenty-four/seven.

Unfortunately, with Maggie, there wasn't anything he could do. At first he tried to blackmail her employers into firing her but found they were not as easily persuaded as others. They were fiercely loyal to Maggie. Mr. Burns then tried to hire somebody to cause an "accident" which would prevent Maggie from ever having to dance again. The person he had hired from the job tried once but came back with both of his arms broken by Maggie's new boyfriend, Nigel Thorburn.

For some reason, his attacks have never gotten to Bart or Lisa. Nor Alex, which surprised Bart since their relationship was anything but private.

That is until the following Thursday…

Getting ready for Springfield's annual "Picnic-a-thon", where all the families in the area come to have a picnic at Jeremiah's Day Park, Homer and Bart were getting the car ready, as they always did while the girls got the food ready.

Making sandwiches in the kitchen, Alex was happy to be included in this even though she wasn't a Simpson yet.

"Alex, you were a Simpson when you first came into our lives," Marge said smiling.

"Yeah, and now that you're on more than better terms with Bart, you're one now more than ever." Said Lisa elbowing her, playfully.

Maggie, on the other hand, hated this day.

"I'll say this for the last time, I'm not going!" She said resting her hands on her hips.

"Margaret Celine Simpson, you're going to go with us. End of discussion." Marge said, sternly.

Lisa leaned over to whisper into Alex's ear, "She does this every year, and Mom always put her foot down every time."

Alex grinned as Maggie bitterly admitted defeat to her mother.

After the food was made the Simpson family and Alex got into the car and headed to the park where numerous families had already arrived and were setting up.

The Wiggum family was having a food fight with the Van Houtens, Barney was getting plastered at the tent Moe had set up which had all of his regulars there, and Selma and Sideshow Mel basking in the shade.

"Wow, this has to be the biggest turn out yet," Marge said in amazement.

"Certainly is." Lisa agreed.

After the family had set up and had drinks out, Lisa decided now would be the best time to announce that tonight would be the unveiling of the new Jazz Hole.

"Wow, sis. I know you promised Greta that you'd include all of McBain's thing's in it, how are you going to do that?" Bart asked.

"Oh, just wait and see. I think you're all going to like it." Lisa said, smiling.

Homer then decided to, drunkenly, make a toast to both Alex and Lisa's new business. Thus commemorating the family's usual day at the "Picnic-a-thon".

Later that evening, Lisa told the family to meet her at the Jazz Hole for the unveiling.

Pulling up to the parking lot, there was a white curtain covering the building with a rope that held down at the side where Lisa and Greta were situated.

Everyone had come dressed in his or her finest, including Rainer who was there with an orderly, who was also dressed for the occasion.

As soon as everyone was there, Lisa walked up to the podium and cleared her throat.

"Good evening, everyone. Welcome to the first opening of the combined works of the Jazz Hole and the McBain museum. Before we begin, I'd like to thank both of the Wolfcastle for allowing me to keep the jazz scene alive in Springfield. Greta, Rainer, thank you both."

Both gave Lisa a smile.

"Now," Lisa continued, "Without further ado, Mr. Wolfcastle, will you do the honors?"

Mr. Wolfcastle's orderly wheeled him to the rope and with a hearty tug, the sheet came down to reveal in big words: "McBain! At the Jazz Hole".

Everyone gasped in awe at the sign, which was presented in the fashion of the lettering as in most of McBain's old movie posters.

Rainer Wolfcastle wiped a tear from his eye.

Greta hugged Lisa and whispered, "Thank you".

Moments later upon going in, the whole crowd was brought into the same gloomy atmosphere that the Jazz Hole presented with some exceptions.

The walls were covered with either still from scenes in the McBain movies or statuettes of McBain doing various poses. On the upper level, was a room filled with every kind of McBain paraphernalia known to mankind, plus a screening room where there was a rare showing of Rainer's old interview with Siskel and Ebert about doing his role for the first time.

Rainer seemed to tear up some more, once he was watching the interview, he looked up at Greta.

"I want to be buried here." He said, smiling.

Greta looked at Lisa and hugged her again.

Lisa then performed for the crowd her rendition of "The Broken-neck blues", which gained loud applause.

Bart, to the surprise of the whole family, asked if he could perform something on stage.

"Excuse me? Did I hear you right?" Lisa asked, amused.

Bart grinned, "There are something's I never told you about when I was in college."

Lisa sighed, "All right, if you must. Keep in mind though, that Alex, Maggie, and I are going to make sure you never forget this."

Bart smiled, "I'm not worried." He then picked up a guitar and headed on stage and sat on a stool.

Everyone seemed stunned that Bart Simpson was on stage and was actually going to be performing.

Bart adjusted the cords and then removed the pick.

"This is for my sister on her best day ever." He said into the Mic and then he started playing "Classical Gass", which astounded everyone including Lisa who was smiling at her brother for making such a sweet contribution.

As Bart finished up, there was a commotion at the front door.

"Let me through, you under what, I don't care if I don't have an invitation to you're groovester-palace." Said a voice.

Everyone cleared out of the way as Mr. Burns, being escorted by Smithers, made his way to the front of the stage.

"That was the most awful strumming since Jimmy Hendrix!" Mr. Burns ranted, looking up at Bart.

Everyone in the crowd glared at Mr. Burns and started booing.

Mr. Burns didn't seem to care for their bitterness to him.

"Simpson, you and I need to have a little chat."

Bart sighed; setting down the guitar he came off the stage and then sat down at one of the tables in the far corner.

"What is it, Mr. Burns?" He asked once he sat down.

"I've tried to be reasonable with you, Simpson." Mr. Burns began.

Bart interrupted him, "Reasonable? Yeah right. Since that trial, you've done nothing but attack my family. Give me one good reason I should even be listening to you right now?"

Mr. Burns smiled, "You and your fiancée's future depends on it."

Bart scowled at him, "Don't you dare bring Alex into this."

Mr. Burns seemed to smile all the more, "Why shouldn't I? I've seemed to have struck a nerve, Simpson, don't tell me you're now getting weak?"

Bart clenched his teeth and lowered his eyes, "You're the only thing weak here, Mr. Burns. I have my youth and all you have is money. Without your money, you're nothing."

Mr. Burns' smile disappeared. "Perhaps. But other than money, what I also have is influence."

Alex and Lisa watched from far away Bart and Mr. Burns talking, although to Alex it looked as though Bart was yelling rather than talking.

"What are they talking about?' Alex asked Lisa.

Lisa shrugged, "I'm not sure. But, judging by Bart's expressions, it's nothing good."

They then saw Bart fling the table across the room and shout.

"IF YOU DO THAT TO ALEX, I'LL KILL YOU, YOU OLD BASTARD!"

Alex looked in alarm at the fact her name was mentioned.

To the surprise of everyone, Rainer got up out of his wheelchair and walked over to Mr. Burns, hoisted him by the collar, out of his seat, and took him to the entrance.

"Get out." He said firmly, he then flung Mr. Burns out of the place.

Smithers followed out with him.

Alex went over to Bart who was shaking with Anger and taking steady sips of water trying to get his temper down.

"Bart? Are you okay?" She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Bart sighed, "I hate that man.'

Alex nodded, "We all do, honey. What did he say that made you act like that?'

Bart looked up at her with sad eyes, he then turned away. "Nothing."

The rest of the evening went on great, and as everybody left, each person congratulated Lisa on, what should be, a successful business.

Many promised that they'd come back here to enjoy their evenings.

Milhouse and Samantha, accompanied by a sleeping Brianna, told Lisa how proud they were and that they would come by tomorrow to be one of the first couples to be here.

Nelson also came by and Lisa was surprised.

"Nelson? What are you doing here? Have you been here the entire time?"

Nelson rubbed the back of his head, nervously.

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, why didn't you come up to talk to me?" Lisa asked.

Nelson coughed, "Well, it's kinda your night, and, uh, I didn't want to butt in."

Lisa smiled, Nelson was always modest.

"Anyways, uh, do you wanna come back to my place for dinner?" Nelson asked.

Lisa kissed him, "I'd love to."

Back at their apartment, Alex grabbed Bart's hand as he made his way to the bedroom.

"I'd really wish you'd tell me what Burns said to you."

Bart sighed, "I guess if you really want to know. Burns said that he was going to go to the media with fake news about your business if I didn't do exactly what he asked."

Alex shook her head, "What a bastard. But Bart, why didn't you tell me when we were there?"

Bart shrugged, "I guess I was so angry I decided not to."

Alex kissed him, "You shouldn't worry about telling me these things. They're ones that I DO need to know. You shouldn't be holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, Bart. People are there to help you."

Bart smiled, "I know. Sometimes, I guess, I feel that I can do these things alone and I'll be okay. But, now I'm happier that I have someone holding my back."

Alex grinned, "Don't know it."

The two shared an intimate kiss until the phone rang.

Bart answered, "Hello?"

Alex watched Bart slam the phone down on the receiver.

"Who was it?" She asked in alarm, seeing Bart covert back to his anger.

"Burns," Bart said, angrily.

"What does he want?" Alex asked.

Bart rubbed her eyes, "I don't know. But I'm going to stop this once and for all."

Alex grabbed Bart's hand, "Bart, listen to me. You don't have to do this. Maybe he'll decide to let it go."

Bart took his hand away, "Let it go? Are you listening to yourself, Alex? Burns has been harassing us ever since he lost to me at that trial. He's not going to let this end. But I am!"

Bart then grabbed his keys and rushed out the door.

Lisa was half asleep when she heard the phone ringing.

"Uh, Hello?" Lisa answered, lazy.

"Lisa, it's Maggie. Say, have you heard from either Alex or Bart?"

Lisa fumbled around with her hand in search of the lamp on her nightstand, turning it on she sat upright.

"No, not lately, why?"

"After the commotion at your grand opening, I'm starting to worry about them. Mr. Burns seemed to be pretty brutal."

Lisa nodded, "Yeah, yeah he did."

"Anyways, if you hear from either of them tell them to call me okay?" Maggie asked.

Lisa smiled, "I'll be sure to do that."

"So tell me. What's it like sleeping in Nelson's apartment?"

Lisa laughed, 'Well, it's a hellova lot better than his house was when I saw it seventeen years ago."

Maggie, in turn, laughed also. "I remember it. Did he ever play his rendition of "Joy to the world" to you?"

Lisa smiled, she remembered the events leading up to her first date with Nelson and how she was so horrified at first by the appearance of his room and then his interests.

"Yes he did. I hope he never pulls that off nowadays, I'd be mortified."

Maggie seemed to make an acknowledging sound on the other end.

"So," Lisa said, smiling, "You and Nigel, huh?'

"Yeah, it's so weird talking to you about this without having to put in "I'm thinking of using something blunt to kill him with"." Maggie laughed.

Lisa knew that other than Gerald, Maggie had no other dating experience.

Alex's pleading still fresh in his mind didn't make this drive any easier. But Bart knew he had to make things right, otherwise, they were never going to get a moment's peace.

All the closer he was getting to Burns' mansion, Bart could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising. That wasn't the only thing, it was an odd mixture of both anger and fear.

Bart knew he had to deal with this now before it got completely out of hand.

Threatening him was one thing, but threatening his girlfriend was another, and Bart could not take it.

After having parked, Bart walked into Burns' mansion and found the man sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine in his hand.

"Ah, Simpson. So glad you came, won't you take a seat?"

Bart folded his arms, "I came here in hopes that you'll leave Alex and my family alone, Burns. I need you to say that and then I'm gone."

Mr. Burns did his best to look surprised, "My my, down to business already, are we? Don't be so hasty, you and I have a lot to discuss."

This time, Bart was surprised, "What else is there to discuss?"

Burns smiled, wickedly, as he set down his goblet and handed Bart a manila folder containing pictures of Alex's building.

"This," Mr. Burns began as he put his fingers together, "Is what we're going to talk about, Simpson.'

Bart looked from the picture to Mr. Burns, scowling. "What about her business?"

"Actually, it's going to be MY business. After you talk to your girlfriend about how there are legal matters that she needs to be aware of and she should pull out of it immediately. You see Simpson, I've earned it."

Bart's look became icier as did his voice. "YOU may think everyone owes you something. Society played out a rotten hand by naming you the villain of the century. Well, tough luck, Mr. Burns. No one will cower before you and neither will I!" Bart then flung the folder into the fireplace.

Mr. Burns frowned, "Be that as it may, YOU owe me, Simpson. You were on death's door before I let you bequeath some of my life to get back. You are going to talk your girlfriend out of starting that establishment and you are going to do it now."

Bart gritted his teeth in anger.

"I'll never do such a thing. I love Alex more than anything to do that."

Mr. Burns stepped away from Bart.

"Hmm. If that is what you wish, so be it."

Mr. Burns brought out of his concealed shoulder holster, an old Smith and Wesson with an ivory handle. He pointed it at Bart.

"So, what? Are you going to kill me, instead? What's the point in that, Burnsy?" Bart said, taking a step back and accidentally backing into a coffee table.

"I think it's time to retrieve that precious blood of mine that I've let you borrow, Simpson." Mr. Burns then fired the gun at Bart.

The bullet missed Bart and instead hit the oil lamp behind him.

Breaking the glass containing the oil and hitting the metal surface of the table caused the oil to be ignited, sending the table and the rug on fire.

The first thing on Bart's mind was to try and extinguish the fire, but Mr. Burns was still trying to shoot at him.

"Are you insane! We need to put this out!" Bart yelled.

Mr. Burns scowled at him. "The only thing I need to "put out" is your life, Simpson!"

Again, firing and missing, Bart tried his best to avoid the careless shots as he made his way to the kitchen only to find it engulfed with flames. Soon the entire mansion was burning.

Bart turned around to find Mr. Burns on the floor struggling to breathe.

"Damn this confounded old, paper-lined, corner house." Mr. Burns said, coughing.

Bart ran to him and put Mr. Burns' arm around his neck as he desperately tried an exit inside the mansion.

Going into the next hallway, Bart stopped as he heard cracking from above and saw the ceiling crashing down on them and dived immediately out of the way.

Feeling extreme amounts of pain, Bart opened his eyes and found a large oak armchair crushing him.

Looking over, he saw Mr. Burns making rigid breathing sounds, he too being suspended by a heavy object.

Bart found the smoke in the room, not only obscures his vision but also make his breathing hard. Feeling tired, Bart tried to fight it only to have his head fall back and his eyes look upon darkness.

The fire could be seen for a quarter of a mile, even farther than that someone may recognize that something did not feel right.

Smithers had just been out to retrieve Mr. Burns' ointment when he smelled smoke a few blocks away.

As he was getting nearer he saw what he had feared. The mansion was on fire.

Quickly pulling into the driveway he rushed inside, shouting, "Monty! Where are you!" To his horror, there was no answer.

Running through the house he was soon stopped by the smoke and the heat and he paused to cough as he searched feverishly throughout for any sign of Mr. Burns only to find him lying on the floor with a beam crushing his body.

"Monty!" He yelled as he tried to muster all his strength and lift the beam off, but to no avail. He just wasn't strong enough.

Cupping the face of his beloved old friend, he tried desperately to find a pulse but couldn't find one.

"Oh, Monty," Smithers said as tears of sadness came to join those caused by the smoke and soon, Wayland Smithers found himself growing weak as the smoke-filled room started to infiltrate his lungs and he found the light growing darker by the second.

Smithers brought his body next to his deepest and most loved employer, still cradling his face in his hands, as the mansion around them grew more hot and smoky.

Smithers smiled as he closed his eyes, looking upon the only person to whom he could ever love.

Homer whistled as he came into the house and then situated himself in front of the TV, as Marge was busy cleaning dishes.

"Marge! Can you get me a cold beer?" Homer called.

Marge came into the living room, looking glum as she handed Homer his Duff.

"What's the matter, honey?" Homer asked.

Marge sighed, "I'm worried. Bart hasn't been answering his phone. I think he went to talk to Mr. Burns about that threat he made against Alex's store. What are we going to do if something happens to Bart, Alex told me he went to talk to Mr. burns, what will happen there?"

Homer shrugged, "Well, nothing we haven't done before. Don't worry honey, Bart's bigger now. He's not going to be bothered by some dumb threat by a creepy, bony, old man."

Marge smiled and then sat down on the couch next to Homer as he scrunched over for her to sit next to him.

Marge stood up straight when the news showed a picture of Mr. Burns' mansion, now a blaze.

"This is Kent Brockman with a special report. The Burns Mansion is on fire! The flames were first sighted two hours ago and there is no news on whether or not anyone is inside. The Springfield Volunteer Fire Department, unfortunately, is away dealing with a campfire gone, moderately, out of control. More news on this after the break."

Marge made a whimper as she held her hands to her mouth in worry.

"Oh, Homer! Our little-bitty Bart is in there!" Marge said as Homer held her close.

Alex's eyes were filled with terror as she came up to the, now, smoking mansion. Parking the car away, just in case the flames came nearer, Alex ran to the front of entryway just as the flames were growing more intense.

Putting her jacket over her head, Alex went in and found her eyes watering up instantly.

"Bart! Where are you? Bart!" Alex called as she tried to cover her eyes through the smoke-filled building.

It was only when she went in further did she find Bart buried underneath a pile of burning furniture.

Pulling Bart away from the flaming debris, and outside, Alex found herself losing her footing and falling backward, landing into a very embarrassing position on top of Bart.

As soon as she got off, Bart seemed to awaken and coughed long and hard, getting the remaining smoke out of his lungs.

Bart looked up at her and smiled, "My hero."

"Took you long enough, Simpson." She said grinning as she tasseled up his hair.

Weeks upon weeks passed and the day came.

Set near the Springfield Gorge, at daybreak, with the setting sun's glow across the golden and crimson, white tents are pitched up along the edge of the cliff.

Everyone who knew the Simpson family was there as well as some offbeat people who announced themselves as friends of Alex's from L.A. were also there.

Homer, dressed in his faux-priest outfit, straightened his white collar as he stepped out and addressed the onlookers.

"Unlike some fake celebrity weddings, this is one that will last forever. My boy and Alex have been an item for some time and according to Marge, it's the real deal. Now, if you're tired or need to chug back a few, now's the time to do it. The couple is going to read some vow's that they've made for each other."

Alex looked down and smiled, "Bart, I came back to Springfield to look for something better. Being with you has done that and more. My future with you shall be something, even more, to look forward to. I'm yours and forever shall be."

Homer smiled and then turned to Bart. "How about you, boy?'

Bart smiled, "Alex, ever since you've returned to Springfield, I've marked those days as the days that have salvaged the better parts of myself and have made me a better man ever since. Being with you has made me the luckiest and richest man in the world."

Homer wiped away a tear and blew his nose on the cuff of his sleeve.

"Do you, Alex Whitney, take Bart to be your husband to have and to hold, yadda…till death does screw you guys over?" Homer asked.

"I do," Alex said, smiling.

"You know I do," Bart said, grinning broadly.

"Do you have the rings?" Homer asked.

Alex grinned as Bart slid the ring on her finger and she did the same.

"If there be anyone here who objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace. And you better hold!" Homer shook his fist threateningly at the audience.

Everyone remained quiet and in their seats.

"I now pronounce you man and wife you may smooch the bride, son," Homer said winking.

"Thanks, Homer.' Bart said, kindly.

Everyone cheered as the two-embraced each other and shared their first passionate kiss as a married couple.

Epilogue:

From the journal of Maggie Simpson:

Well, journal, we've certainly come a long way, haven't we?

I guess I better start off where I've left off…

After a long series of battles against Jessica Lovejoy, Jeremy Hawthorne, and Mr. Burns, we, the Simpson family, have finally found our moment of peace.

I have to say Bart and Alex's wedding was the highlight of it. That and the dual grand openings of Alex's "Heavenly Silhouettes" and Lisa's "McBain! At the Jazz Hole".

Speaking of Lisa, she has announced HER engagement to Nelson Muntz! Who would have thunk it, huh?

Bart and Alex will soon be coming back from their honeymoon at the Grand Canyon. (I still can't believe they didn't go somewhere exotic)

Mom and Dad celebrated their twenty-fourth wedding anniversary by going to Paris! (Courtesy of Bart and Alex).

Grandma and Grandpa Simpson have reconciled and now are sharing a deluxe suite at the retirement castle.

Last, but not least, I'm going on my tenth date with Nigel! Now that's awesome!

In other news, the courthouse is almost rebuilt and the Springfield has decided to convert Mr. Burns' old mansion into an art gallery.

I must say, I still find it surprising that he bequeathed all of his money to Bart, despite having lost that case and then his life in that explosion. (A part of me feels saddened by Smithers having gone down with him.)

Well, at least now I know where to go if I ever need a loan, he he he.

Any-hoo, That's what's been a happen-in, journal.

Until next time, see ya!

Maggie

The End of Bart Simpson: Attorney at Law!