Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact firstname.lastname@example.org. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
The story definitely has good possibilities but unfortunately there are some issues regarding readability. There is a bit of rushing in regards to the progression of the story with it kinda feeling like the author is maybe running to the part they are most excited about. Another issue is what I guess would be formatting. There are parts of the story where there are not breaks in the dialogue so it turns into a giant run-on paragraph that can change character perspectives with no reason and little use of “ to determine speaking. Overall if the author maybe gets some one to do some light editing it could actually get pretty solid. Unfortunately as it stands it’s just pretty hard to read.