The Confession

They sat there.

In silence.

"I'm leaving."

As they fully processed the weight of the confession I had burdened their lives with.

"Where?" Melissa spoke first.

"I can't say."

"WHY!" She yelled at my refusal to answer her basic question.

She was about to lunge at me for my actions when Xiao Li moved first, holding down her hands with her own. I tried again to hug them both to solve the problem, but both of them pushed away my arms with great precision and speed.

"Sigh," I turned my head, wanting to deal with the greatest pain last.

All the faces around me were devoid of emotion, not sure whether to feel sorry for me or to beat me to death.

Uncle Lander was confused, Uncle Ikaria was surprised, Uncle Albert was in disbelief, and Aunt Elizabeth was lost.

And Diana,...

'She's smiling?'

It made no sense.

She could not use strength to overcome this; the battle had already been lost.

People often say that they would die for their love, but what strength does it take to die?

To love is to live.

To love someone is to live for them.

And I could only live for myself.

"I'll wait." She declared, not understanding the weight of her vow.

"I'll wai-"

"Please Diana," her words broke me more than I could have ever prepared for, 'I had expected it to be difficult, but this...'

"Don't y-"

"And why should she, Kuzan!" My sister cut me off as she escaped from Xiao Li's grasp, her eyes watery with tears at the choice I had made.

"Why?!"

It was the only answer I could not give, that I was too ashamed to give, that even I did not fully understand.

"Why, Kuzan?" However, I was forced to confess, both by my love's threat to wait and by the pain she was desperately trying to hide behind that smile.

'That smile.' My eyes widened at the realization, at the familiarity of that expression, that I had used so long ago to hide behind my pain.

I'd rather die than have to live to see that expression on Diana's face.

It had been instantaneous, from when I saw that smile to when I jumped over the table to pull her into my arms, as she just stood there,...

She didn't push back or reciprocate, she didn't cry out in anger or frustration at the choice that I had made for her. She simply smiled, taking on the truth as if it was destined.

She had faced the truth.

And she had lost.

"DON'T YOU DARE, DIANA!"

"No, Diana, please," I refused to let her live in the same hopeless days of misery, "I won't let you wait."

Droplets of water poured out of my face as I breathed life into the girl, revitalizing her resolve, pulling her out of that pit that I had pushed her into.

"I can't take you, Diana," I strengthened my resolve, making my last choice fueled by love, "but I can make it quicker."

The regained will in her arms as she too pulled me higher into the hug was enough of a response to my last question to her...

'No.'

'This'll be my last question to her...'

"Diana," I spoke without strength, my heart and mind both in disgust at the pain I had chosen to leave them...

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

My soul was content.

"When you come back."

My eyes widened at the trap that I had been pulled into, as I looked around the table, their expressions morphing into smiles and eventually into laughter, as if finally confessing to their act.

"Hahahahaha" a symphony of laughs.

"You knew?" I was still in disbelief at how 'easily' I had been played. From tricking the strongest man alive to being fooled into a ruse myself was a refreshing feeling.

"How?" I asked, still confused by how I had been outsmarted by my own family.

"Aunt Elizabeth found out, Kuzan," Xiao Li replied, breaking her silence since I had come back, "Doctor Payne told us about what you were having him research."

"But how?" Even if they found out about his project so soon, I was certain that they would never be able to connect it to its purpose.

"Oh, you're asking about how we knew you'd leave?" This time it was my sister who responded, turning off her waterworks at once after the bit had been up, "well, it only made sense considering how much you tried to push us away."

'Ah,'

"We're not idiots, my sugar blossom," next was my Aunt, answering my unspoken question before I could even think of it, "as soon as you took yourself off the will and started pulling all of these elaborate 'deals' with all of those old folks, we kind of got the idea..."

"You were protecting us."

My heart shattered out of emotions, finally not able to hold the weight of the truth any longer. They had saved me from it, from having to leave them in agony, from having to abandon them in sorrow,...

'It doesn't matter anymore now that they know.'

I had realized it, that day, in the arena, of my true passion for life. It had been the best gift I could have ever received, at the hands of those that I loved, to make me aware of its existence.

'I had lied.'

'That day, I was lying to myself by saying that I was feeling stoic.'

I hadn't 'transformed' due to my rage at my family having been attacked.

That fury had been completely washed away by another feeling...

'Joy.'

It had been too little pain and too much pleasure for me to control myself.

And I continued lying to myself even after all of that, despite my actions clearly conflicting with my thoughts.

'I had assumed that I was unable to control my actions due to the skew of the system stats.'

I had been wrong.

It hadn't been my actions that were not in my control.

It had been my thoughts.

'I was hiding from them.'

I was confused, delusional, not wanting to face the reality of the situation until just recently.

'So stupid, if I truly just wanted revenge why would I have not just waited to 'release' Pickle until after killing all of them?'

'Why wouldn't I have just kept the truth from Uncle Lander until I reached them myself, delivering him both the surprise of justice and the love of a new daughter?'

'Why wouldn't I have just attacked Yujiro, damning the consequences of my actions if that was truly what I wanted?'

I had realized it fully, on that island, when talking to Yuuchirou Hanma. His mere presence alone radiated both power and peace in perfect harmony.

The harmony that I was lacking.

'You can't beat him.' He told me before disappearing.

He was right.

'I wouldn't be the one to 'beat' him because there's nothing to beat once I no longer consider him my prey.'

Yujiro Hanma was my inspiration.

But he was not my goal.

'I did all of this, just to be able to leave alone in peace.'

All of my actions, pretending to be the son of that beast, pretending to be enraged, pretending that all I wanted was a 'good fight'.

It was my greatest act ever, tricking the whole world into believing that I was the second coming of that beast.

Those in power now knew better than to attack them, those with power now believed that it would be of no use.

'He had been the hardest to trick.'

He believed in only one thing.

Himself.

His own strength and his own beliefs.

I was sure that after that dinner, he was positive that I was under his 'control'.

There was no need for him to go through the effort of hurting those close to me to 'infuriate' me to fight him when he truly believed that I was raging for a re-match.

He had been the one to decide to 'wait', not me.

'My every action since that day had been to plan for this moment, to be able to truly leave without worry, to be able to truly devote myself to my martial path.'

I had promised myself a long time ago that I would simply abandon all of them should the need ever arise.

'I had been naive.'

The strong had no need for choice, the truly powerful had no need to lie, either to themselves or to those they loved.

"I'm sorry, Diana,"

I was apologizing for my greed, for wanting to have the best of both worlds. I had nearly lost my sanity on that island when I finally had to stop lying to myself and was forced to face reality.

Making the choice that nearly shattered my heart.

But the alternative would have swallowed it whole.

It had been painful to choose myself over them, to choose my happiness over their own. I had failed, as a brother, a son, a nephew, and especially...

as a lover.

"I'm sorry."