AUTUMN

Still in the autumn, she stands. Between those long trees almost the height of Everest. Relax, I am exaggerating but she still stands in her jeans-wearing her sneakers. Cute, I wish to go to her. Seriously. I wouldn't get rebuffed, would I? She looks in pain. Can I not soothe her pain?

I watched her till night falls. I stand there under the moonlight. Its light shone on us both. I in hiding, she in its broad light. Wouldn't she go home? Would she be alright? I wish to go to her. Hmm.

She continues to walk now. After squatting for three(3) hours. I have got nothing to do so I followed her. Watching her every step. Assuming the position of her guardian angel. Her scents were of rose if not sweeter. The whole night wind carried her scents uncomplainingly.

I was so into her I forgot to look on my path. I stepped on a twig. The wind took the sounds of it to her hearing as if it has been eavesdropping on my thoughts. How unfair! But I still feel good. Will she now find me? Will she now embrace me? Will she shout at me not or hold a knife to my throat? The one she always carried in her left pocket at the back of her jeans. How did I know so much of this? How come it feels like I've known her my whole life but I haven't even whispered to her? Save me, whoever hears me.

'Who's there?' She called out in response to the noise she heard earlier. She would have taken it as nothing but the wind kept poking his nose into my business so it sounded like an echo. Reverberation.

I moved an inch not. Desperately begging whoever was listening to get me out of this situation but still very much hoping she finds me so I'd get a close look at her even if it means my life was endangered.

She didn't call out to the noise again. Perhaps she went along. Can I move? My legs ache. I couldn't see her anywhere. The moon chose to help her conceal her very self. Her scents concealed but suddenly, what is this? Why is her scent getting closer? Before I knew what was happening, milady took to her heels and got a hold of my hand. Twisting it. My bones cried. I made a silent scream. My face turned red. I seemed to forget she learned martial arts.

I am on my knees forcefully. Her knees were on my back. Her left hand holding my right arm. Her face in front of me. She's looking from above. Her eyes were near my lips. Her freckled nose near my nose. So I guessed she heard my breathing from my nose.

"Stop, will you?" It didn't respond to me at all. My heart beats irregularly. Her lips close to my eyes. I couldn't control myself. This is it. Twenty(20) years of wishing I was this close to her and here I am.

My eyes betrayed my head. It followed my heart. My eyes eyed her lips. "I can't kiss her. No. Do not!"

Thank my stars that she spoke first or I would have been stabbed by her knife now in her right palm.

'Who are you? What do you want?'

'I...ai..' I couldn't get anything out. Her face was so close to mine that I couldn't help it. My face was heating up. Sweats bathed me making my features prominent. Large shoulders. Chest. Shoulder-length black hair. Blue eyes. Adam's apple. Gray shirt. Black trousers. Grayish sneakers. The moon came out of its hiding making them visible to her. She smiled, a corner one.

"Oh, she just.." My head converse with me.

"Yeah I know I just saw it," I replied curtly but happily inside.

Her voice interrupted our discussion rudely but sexily. 'She sent you, Han? Camilla couldn't just let me be.' She seemed to be talking to herself but out loud. She got off me and let out a hand to me. She pulled me up. I gave her all my weight. I wasn't yet conscious this was happening. 'Tell Camilla that I am taking my drugs...'

'No. I meant medications. I have quit drugs. Hmm? Have a nice day. Sorry about all of that.' Her gestures circularly gestured to me. 'Blessed day.'

And that was it. Her beauty sewed my lips. Her swiftness stole my breath. Her voice interrupted my whole.

'Beauty.' Was that all that could come out of me? I waved her silhouette goodbye. My foolishness has overtaken me. How can I fall in love with one I have been spying on for years? How?

Will we meet again? Or will I continue to question myself? Or will I spill out the juice of what happened years ago to her mom? Until we meet again? Can I? Or should I?

She couldn't have gone far. I chose to speak with her. Digging up all of my courage she just buried. Finally, I got to her. Panting I was. Not a short run it was.

She looked back. She looks back! Get a hold of yourself! Her face tilts and she says.

'Oh, you again. What did Camilla say? You couldn't have seen her in just a short while. Or have you?'

Is she waiting for me to speak? Oh no, not again. I shake my head, focus! No!

'No!' I say so audibly it sounded like a shout. 'I killed her.'

'Hmm?' She didn't seem to understand me. So I repeat boldly hoping for the worst.

'I killed her. I killed Saraj!'

I shouldn't have stood too close to her, should I have? Right there. Right now. Saraj's daughter, Everest, stabbed me, deep. She didn't let go of the knife. She put a hole inside of me so brutally letting it deeper and deeper. What was that? My intestines?

I suddenly felt weak. I knelt. The second time she made me do it against my will. Blood forced its way out but she still held the knife inside me. I looked ahead to nothing in particular. This is it? I die by her hands. I smiled, a painful one.

Autumn, I met her, Autumn, I left her.