Chapter 6: A Very Black Christmas

Chapter 6: A Very Black Christmas

Disclaimer: This is a 'Make a Wish' Christmas Special. Reading this may ruin your life.

A Very Black Christmas

"Why did you makes a sleigh for Mortis?" Harry asked slowly.

"It's a one horse open sleigh," Henchgirl explained. "It's so you can fill in for Santa."

"And why am I doing that again?" Harry asked slowly.

"He never delivered any gifts to me," Henchgirl explained. "That can only mean that he's been kidnapped and held hostage. We'll launch a rescue mission after you get back."

"We will huh?"

"Yup."

Elsewhere . . .

"Game over man game over," an evil hippie or possibly whatever the opposite of a hippie said.

"What is it?" His accomplice asked.

"Mr. Black is saving Christmas man," the first man said. "He's onto our plan of keeping Santa prisoner so he can't deliver gifts for some dumb reason that doesn't make sense to anyone that isn't us."

"Mr. Black?" The second man asked sickly.

"Hah," Santa cheered. "He's gonna shank your jive turky asses."

"What the . . ."

"I forced him to watch every episode of the A-Team fifty times in an attempt to break his spirit man."

"Did it work?"

"Ah pity the fool that tries to break Santa's will."

"Never mind."

Some suspiciously mysterious and horribly painful accidents later . . .

And that boys and girls is how Mr. Black saved Christmas. Wait, what was I talking about? Who are you people and what are you doing in my computer . . .

Or if you'd prefer . . .

Omake: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,

Santa had been kidnapped by an evil louse,

They'd killed most of his Reindeer,

And Santa did cry,

Who shall save me,

Who will kill that guy,

When out in the yard,

What should appear,

But Mister Black in a Sleigh,

Causing all to tremble in fear,

He'll kill us all,

The Head villain did scream,

Maybe with some sort of laser beam,

Merry Christmas to all,

Harry did say,

It's a happy holiday,

Come with me Mortis,

We have gifts to give,

And bad guys to make not live,

The bad guys did tremble,

Tremble in fear,

For Mister Black was upon them,

So they guzzled their beer,

A train for you,

And for you a pipe,

It's Merry Christmas to all,

Everything is alright,

Frowns of confusion,

They did appear,

Was Mister Black going to kill them?

Would pained screams be the last thing they would hear?

Harry looked around the room,

Satisfaction filled his insides,

He had saved Christmas,

Everything was just right,

With a wink and a grin,

He jumped in his Sleigh,

On Mortis,

He called,

We have much to do on this day,

We're alive,

Those evil did say,

Mister Black didn't kill us,

Hip hip hurray,

Mister Black didn't kill you,

That much is true,

Santa said,

His face turning blue,

He saved you for me,

And loosened my ropes,

I shall have vengeance for my reindeer,

And my helper elf Dopes,

Spare us our lives,

The bastards did beg,

With a cruel looking nod,

Santa shook his head,

Mercy dwells not in me,

He said with a lear,

Time to make you dead,

Your ends,

They are near,

So that's our story,

Little boys and small girls,

Mister Black saved Christmas,

The bad guys are dead,

And visions of Horror,

Are stuck in my head

Omake: Failed

"Remus?" Tonks returned to their quarters to find the werewolf half way through his second bottle. "What's wrong?"

"I failed Harry," Remus sobbed drunkenly. "He's dead."

"No you didn't," Tonks said slowly. "He's safe . . . at the Atlantis dig."

"Checked that," Remus slurred. "They've never heard of Harry . . . he wasn't there."

"What?"

"Think about it," Remus said. "When was the last time anyone saw Harry outside Atlantis?"

"At Hogwarts before . . ."

"No, that was Mr. Black. When was the school year ended," Remus said firmly. "That's the las time anyone saw Harry."

"But . . ."

"Sirius died and left everything to Harry," Remus said sadly. "Harry died and there with him went the Black family."

"And you think Mr. Black came to . . . investigate?"

"I've seen a lot of things in this castle," Remus was in danger of sobering up. "I once walked out a door and saw a sky with three moons, walked out another and saw a lot of little men in a village next to a road made out of gold bricks. Mr. Black must have been somewhere else . . . Harry's death . . ." Sobs wracked the werewolf's body.

"Caught his attention and he returned," Tonks finished grimly. "He returned and took a look around the world to see what had changed."

"And to avenge Harry," Remus agreed. "Nothing else makes sense."

"Then how do you explain the meeting we had in Atlantis?" Tonks demanded. "Mr. Black wouldn't be cruel enough to . . . to impersonate Harry like that would he?"

"Have you forgotten who Mr. Black is?" Remus asked taking a swig. "It was Harry . . . This castle leads to a lot of places, other worlds . . . maybe even other universes. Is it so hard to believe that one of those halls leads . . . to the other side?"

"Give me that bottle," Tonks demanded. "I don't think I want to think about this anymore without a couple stiff drinks."

AN: I'm at work, might as well make my time productive.

Omake by gimeGohan

profile: Omake, based off the wedding scene.

Harry grinned as he nodded at the Shangri-la priest. "Sanzo, what can I do for you?" he asked, leaning back against the door frame.

The young man growled as he pulled a cigarette carton from his sleeves, shaking one out with a long-practiced flick of the wrist. "For one, you can stop acting like an idiot Black," he snarled as he lit the cigarette. "I know you're smarter than that. Secondly, I heard about your latest exploits, and I was wondering if you could help find something for me."

Harry grinned. "What do you want?"

"The other four Heavenly Scrolls. And Gyumaoh's head on a platter."

The young wizard grinned as he nodded. "Sounds doable. But only if you do something for me."

Sanzo's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "And what is that?"

"Wel..."

Later...

"I can't believe I'm doing this!"

Harry grinned as he gently pulled a fold of fabric straight on the young man's robes. "Come on Sanzo, it's just a ceremony! And afterwards, you get the rest of the scrolls, and the end of your quest," he assured. Backing away, he pulled a green-trimmed scroll from his cloak and handed it to the priest. "To

prove that I can get you the rest, here's the first. I believe you're familiar with this one?" he asked as he grinned.

Sanzo gaped as he looked at the scroll. "The Seiten Sutra!" he gasped, unrolling it enough to peer at the familiar symbols.

"I've got the other three as well," Harry said, grinning broadly. "You'll get them after the ceremony. Oh and," he jerked his thumb at the banquet table," You'll find the other requirement other there. May I suggest you try it with a little Curry? Quite tasty."