Chapter 5: Scared Straight

Chapter 5: Scared Straight

Disclaimer: Don't really feel like it at the moment so I'm just going to leave this space blank.

Scared Straight

"Listen up you little punks," the man at the front of the room yelled. "You're all here because you think becoming a dark lord is cool or edgy."

"Shut up square," one of the kids yelled.

"We wanna play it like that do we?" The man asked with a grin. "Alright everyone, why don't you open the folder on your desk and take out the card."

"A chocolate frog card?" One of the teens sneered.

"Read the name on the top."

"Mister . . . Black?"

"It used to be that you could become a dark lord without having to worry too much about being stopped," the man said. "Sure, you'd eventually get vanquished by an old wizard or a plucky young boy. But you still got a few years of wanton destruction . . . sometimes you even got to complete your conquest and become the legitimate government."

"So why can't you still do that?"

"Dark Lord named Tom Riddle AKA Voldemort ruined it for the rest of us," the man replied. "He decided that annoying Mr. Black while he was trying to take a vacation was a good idea. Before Voldemort stirred him up, Mister Black was content to allow things to handle themselves. He rarely interfered directly and when he did he usually made it look like an accident. After all, do any of you believe that the Dark Lord Vivatrix really died of a heart attack? Or that Attila the Hun choked?"

"Pfft," one of the teens sneered. "I bet I could beat him."

"Really? Then why don't I show you these slides, the first one is a before picture of the infamous Lestranges."

"They look normal."

"And after Mr. Black was done with them."

"Oh god."

"I'm gonna be sick." Several of the kids began vomiting.

"Here's a picture of Lucius Malfoy, one of the more influential members of the last administration . . . and after Mr. Black threw him off a building. Any questions?"

"Does he let anyone live?"

"When he does, the living usually end up regarding the dead with envy. I was on a strike team sent to kill Henchgirl, Mister Black was not amused. I now know that we wouldn't have been able to harm her, but as they say . . . it's the thought that counts." The man shuddered as the unwanted memories returned. "The first team was drowned and that should have been our first clue that Mister Black was not to be messed with. Mister Black then taught the trick behind breathing underwater, simpel when you know it . . . we thought . . . we thought it was just a taunt."

"What happened?"

"We waited until there was a hole in the wards and seized our chance when we found one, it was only open for a fraction of a second but we were the best at what we did . . . we thought so anyway. We arrived in a dark windowless room and at first we thought it was just a holding cell. We . . . we thought that at worst we'd be in there a few months before they decided to transfer us to a normal prison."

"How . . . how long were you in there?"

"Less then a month," the ex-minion said with a shudder. "Before we knew it, the room started filling with raw sewage. Thanks to Mr. Black's little trick, we couldn't even drown . . . we spent . . . oh god."

"Mr. Black . . . why didn't you kill yourself?"

"Our magic stopped working the second we got in that room," the man said sickly. "And the wards wouldn't let us starve . . . we still felt the pain of starvation but we stayed alive to experience every second of the torture."

"Mister Black doesn't sound so tough, he let you out didn't he?"

"No, Henchgirl did. Let that be a lesson to you, if you ever anger Mister Black your only hope is to throw yourself on Henchgirl's mercy . . . Mister Black doesn't have any. If she hadn't taken pity on us then we'd have been there until the next scheduled maintenance . . . fifteen years after we arrived in that tank. We annoyed Mister Black and he locked us in a room full of raw sewage for fifteen years, fifteen years of no food, no air, and unable to die."

"What happens when you anger him?"

"Pray that no one ever does."

"He can't have really done all these things," one of the girls said sickly. "He . . . no one is that powerful."

"Except Mister Black." The man took several deep breaths. "No one knows how powerful Mister Black is and no one knows what will happen if he ever gets angry enough to show us."

"I don't wanna be a dark lady anymore," the girl said sickly. "I wanna be a healer."

"Me too."

"I wanna be an Auror."

"I'm gonna teach."

"You all are losers," one of the boys sneered. "Mr. Black isn't that powerful and if I ever see him then . . ." The boy was interrupted by a minor earthquake that did no damage, just knocked a few books off the shelf and onto the loudmouth.

"You can't run from Mister Black, you can't hide from Mister Black, and it's not at all a good idea to insult Mister Black." The man said with a wave at the boy on the ground. "But most of all you should never tempt Mister Black . . . you never know how he'll react."

AN: Just another Omake that occurred to me when I needed more sleep. Not all that great but it also took me about five minutes to type out so I suppose that it all balances out.