Chapter 14 - Lying Eyes
Nick's POV
I leaned back in my chair across from Caleb reviewing the arrangements for the Alpha dinner in three days. Every Alpha and Beta will be present along with their mates, some chose to bring additional representatives. We tried to keep things under control when it came to the summit – keeping the first two weeks to smaller gatherings based on regions to prevent too many voices at one time but after the Alpha dinner, we would officially begin announcing business proposals, treaties, and land negotiations that occurred and ending everything with the Mate Ball where I will announce Cate as my mate and future Luna Queen. We planned to keep things as quiet as possible – we didn't need the media making assumptions before I could convince her to accept her position. I could tell she wasn't excited about it – I didn't blame her – anyone would be overwhelmed with the thought of being Queen. It wasn't the same as being a regular pack Luna. The Queen had certain obligations, and political standings to maintain, and care for all packs, not just those on our lands.
Ours. I like that. Ashur purred at the thought.
Did you just purr? Are you a cat now?
"Alpha, Danica and Christian stated they could be here within the hour." My assistant announced from the door. I signaled for Caleb to pick up Cate. My heart rate picked up with the anticipation of seeing my mate again. I couldn't wait to have her in my arms, especially after last night. Her lips tasted like heaven and made me wonder about tasting other places. I was so close to marking her right there. Just fuck it all and make her mine. I continued reviewing the table arrangements, menus, and security detail when I heard the click of heels on the wood floor. I knew it wasn't my mate – she didn't seem like heels during the day kind of girl but then I started to fantasize about her in a short skirt and heels. I imagined lifting her to sit on my desk, sliding her panties to the side as I stood between her legs. Her soft moans as I slipped inside. The throbbing in my cock instantly died when I heard a familiar voice from the hall.
Not now!
Cate's POV
Olivia was stopping every couple of feet to smell the bushes that lined the path – with October and the coming winter pressing down the blossoms that would grace the greenery was no longer present but that didn't stop her from pretending.
"Mommy. Smell flowers. Pretty!" She would instruct after every sniff. I pretended along with her, calling out different colors along the way. Her giggle filled the air as I watched her little form racing along, her curls bouncing with each step she took. Children are smart, Olivia was surely smarter than I was. I was always amazed at just how intuitive children were despite our best efforts to keep quiet and protect them. Their eyes were always watching, always learning. Olivia's ability to trust a glance of a person and her unwavering fearlessness allowed her to take a step without fear of falling. She seemed so in tune with things around her that she could tell when something was bothering me without words. That morning I was so engrossed in my thoughts of how I would break away from Nick without destroying either of us that I didn't realize I was unresponsive until she came to me asking for a hug and asking if something was wrong. My daughter asked if I was okay – I, of course, told her I was. I lied. I was not okay. I knew I couldn't keep Nick, but after his behavior last night, I had a feeling that he wouldn't let me go unless I did something drastic. If I ran, would he follow? Would he try to find me, settle that I had left, and find someone to replace me? Even the thought of him with someone else made my stomach turn and my wolf howl. Watching Olivia made me wish I had her bravery and innocence – she looked at the world with such wonder in her eyes and made me jealous but also determined that she remained safe from the dangers in the world. I thought this new chapter in our lives would be a great opportunity for us but since meeting Nick and Caleb I have found myself in a situation that I never dreamed of and put Olivia back into an unstable situation. I could stay with Nick and pray that my powers stay hidden or that Olivia or any future children we may have don't or find a way to get him to reject me. Rejecting me would be the better option - it would be selfish to stay with Nick.
I needed to keep Olivia safe. If Nick had been any other wolf, things could have been different. As the King, took much was at risk.
I could see the little building of her daycare and her teacher Ms. Miranda standing outside the door greeting everyone as they entered. Her tightly coiled hair was held atop her head in a stylish bun, and her full lips extended into a bright smile.
"Yellow!" Olivia called out pointing at the dress that complimented Miranda's caramel skin so well.
"Very good Olivia! You are doing so well with your colors. High five?" The palm of her hand met with that of Olivia's much smaller one.
"Alright Bug. Hug Mommy. I love you." I closed my arms around my sweet daughter, inhaling her scent deeply. She smelled of sunflowers and sunshine mixed with lemon, it sent a calming wave through me.
"Bye Mommy." She ran into the building at the call of her other teacher. Showing again her lack of fear and courage. As I watched her go I knew what I had to do but I hated myself for it and I knew that Nick would hate me too.
It was my only option - I had to protect Olivia.
The walk back to the house was a miserable one - each step brought me closer to the realization that I would have to break my mate's heart. Amara was wildly pacing in my mind, whining and growling with the direction of my thoughts. I wasn't sure how I was going to master this because I wouldn't be able to continue to reside here but perhaps I could ask my brother and sister if I could join their pack. It wasn't the best option but it was better than nothing. My heart ached to the point that I had to stop along the path to catch my breath, bile rose in my throat and my vision began to blur the more I considered rejecting Nick. I couldn't imagine how I would be able to even say the words to his face if I was reacting this way just considering it. I took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself. I was able to stumble home without further incident but my stomach dropped immediately to my feet at the sight of Caleb's truck in my drive. I had a feeling I knew why he was there and where he wanted to take me.
He must have just pulled up because the truck was still running as he relaxed in the driver's seat. I could hear his voice as he belted out the lyrics to "Mercy" by Shawn Mendes without a care in the world.
He is so weird! Caleb has become my closest friend since coming here and now I was thinking of leaving him. The thought of not seeing him, of taking "his little princess" away broke my heart even more. Guilt began to eat away at my heart. Why would the Goddesses curse me with such a mate and dangerous powers? I could feel myself begin to break - my skin felt too tight as if it were stretched too thin - my heart was beating too fast - my breathing was shallow. Frustration and anger were steadily building inside me.
I was fucking cursed and it was starting to piss me off! I lost my family, I was abused for years, cursed with a gift that could get me killed, presented with a mate that I couldn't keep, and blessed with a beautiful daughter that I had to live in fear for because she could potentially have powers as well. My life was a fucking joke to the Three. My purpose seemed to be a proverbial joke to the universe. A burning hatred began to grow inside my heart, its fire spreading to unknown depths. I wanted to wallow in it - feed the flames and allow it to consume me - burning the world in my deep seeded resentment. I wanted to scream, run, and destroy everything around me until there was only dust and ash. I had sacrificed my life for these powers I never wanted, cared for, or wished to keep. My life was not my own and would never be my own. My burning rage turned into empty sorrow, and my eyes began to burn, a lump strangling me preventing the scream that was building in my chest. Hot tears blazed a trail down my reddened cheeks as dark thoughts swirled around my mind wildly. My daughter was the only light strong enough to break through the darkness - her bright smile and laughter, sparkling eyes, and innocent face. During the storm of dark thoughts that had engulfed me I had lost myself and where I was - forgotten who was with me.
I was standing in the driveway with my arms relaxing on the side of Caleb's truck struggling to catch my breath, my blurred vision finally focusing on the rows of small houses and surrounding evergreen trees. A voice silently whispered my name, my mind wishing to believe that it was Caleb's but this voice seemed to dance on the breeze. A voice I didn't recognize drifting to me from somewhere unknown. Frightening yet oddly familiar repeating my name over and over as some sort of mantra. The smell of putrid sulfur clouded the air around me, burning my throat and burning my eyes.
Cate.....Cate.....Come to me...Find me.
"Cate. Luna. Answer me." Caleb was lightly shaking me from my trance. The spell evaporated as quickly as it had begun leaving no lingering effects but the remnants of the voice will haunt me.
"I'm fine. Just not having the best day and I'm in my emotions. Just a lot going on." Another lie. It was quickly becoming a trend and it amazed me how easily they slipped from my tongue.
"Well...I think you need a little retail therapy. Want to go pick out some expensive shit and make Nick pay for it?" Caleb's voice was filled with humor while his eyes betrayed his deep concern.
"I swear Caleb you are the sassiest bitch I know. Pumpkin beer, retail therapy? What next? You want to braid each other's hair and talk about our celebrity crushes?" I lightly pushed him away as I walked over to the other side of the truck.
"I would love to braid your hair, it looks so silky smooth. Between you and me, Chris Hemsworth." He threw me a wink before climbing into the cab of his truck.
It smelled of Red Bull and fresh timber but I could also smell the faint scent of Nick. I breathed deeply trying to capture the brief, fleeting moment of peace that only my mate could bring me knowing that I had to reject him as soon as I could. I couldn't drag things out until the Mate Ball. He needed the opportunity to find a true Queen. A Queen who could stand by his side and not be a liability. The drive to the castle was agony. I would rather be locked away in the dungeon facing another heat compared to what I knew I was about to do. I replayed the night before over and over. His kiss, the desire in his voice, the possession in his gaze, and how he held my hand as if it was the only things keeping him tethered to this earth.
My gaze refused to focus on any of our surroundings, my ears barely registering the radio playing - all I could see was Nick and all I could hear was his voice. Amara was desperately trying to break through and take control to prevent the breaking of our bond. I could feel her clawing her way through my soul, my body ached with the internal battle, my resolve too strong for Amara to overcome.
Dread floods my body as Caleb eases his truck into his regular parking spot, not waiting for him to lead the way I leap from the passenger seat and beeline straight for the private elevator I knew was hidden, the doors granting access without requiring the security code. Caleb called out for me as the door slid closed before me, my eyes glazed over not registering the rush of confusion and concern in his eyes. I could feel the lift carrying me but my body was on autopilot - my feet moving of their own accord as if they knew the path already, knew where to go though I had never been before. My body floated down a semi-familiar hall - one that I recognized to be the location of Caleb's office but I didn't stop in front of the door I knew to be his but continued further down the hall to a set of double doors. I pushed them open to a small waiting area and an empty reception desk, my eyes zeroing in on the door to the left of the desk, partially open and light spilling forth. I could smell and hear Nick but there was another voice and scent mixed in the air, one that was sickly sweet. I couldn't register what was being said over the sound of blood rushing through my body as my heart pounded erratically. Sweat drenched my palm as I pushed open the door.
Nick was lounging in a wingback chair, his mouth slack and eyes wide at the sight before him. The black tailored shirt he wore was slightly unbuttoned, the black jacket he wore was thrown over the back of the chair, and a glass of dark liquid rested in his hand. A tall, willowy woman had one leg perched on the coffee table. Her skirt bunched around her waist, and the front of her deep red wrap dress opened exposing her shoulders and breast. Her black hair arranged in a tight twist and clasped together with a jeweled comb glistened in the dim light of the office. With her back presented to me, I was fortunate enough to miss seeing her face, which no doubt was as stunning as the rest of her. Her shapely legs were impossibly long and on display, her six-inch red bottom black leather heels accentuating her confidence and power. A woman who has claimed her sexuality would be confident enough to showcase her body in such a way. She was a woman who knew how to please a man and her sights were set on my mate. I wanted desperately to be angry, to rage at her and claim what was mine but years of abuse stopped me. I couldn't be mad at her, she possibly had no idea that I even existed but Nick did. He knew he had a mate and that I would be arriving at any moment with Caleb for a dress fitting that he requested for a ball where he wished to claim me as his. I caught the slight twitch of Nick as he finally picked up my scent, his eyes darting immediately to mine, his lips struggling to form words, his hand reaching out for me as he began to stand from his seat. From my peripheral, I could make out the mystery woman turning slightly in my direction but I didn't wait.
With what little dignity I had left I lifted my chin and refused to allow him to see the slow build of absolute sorrow that filled my heart. I built an immediate wall and shut down all emotion toward him. It would make rejecting him so much simpler but at this moment I wanted to break free. Without breaking eye contact I slowly backed up right into Caleb, his hands immediately grabbing my upper arms to steady me as he takes in what is happening. I could feel the vibrations of Caleb growling and see Nick's lips moving but only heard a dull hum. My feet had led me here and without a second thought, I allowed my feet to carry me away. Not stopping until I felt the sting of the chilled air burning my lungs. Once outside I shifted into my red wolf and ran, refusing to turn or stop for anyone or anything.