Chapter 6 First Delivery & Kernels of Wisdom (Part 5/5)

My eyes narrowed in suspicious thought. "I did. I ground down the dried berries to make that blue powder."

Her eyes lit up in delighted amusement at my response. "Hahahaha! Oh Victoria, you wicked girl!" My suspicions continued to rise at her outburst.

"What is the blue powder and what is it for?" I asked, yet fearing the answer.

She appeared to be relishing the thought of explaining, before speaking up. "Blue dream is its unofficial name in certain circles, and it is for aiding in the arousal and endurance of the male genitals in remaining rigid, in order to satisfy the desires of their partner." My expression turned sour at her explanation. "Even a single whiff of it can affect one for hours."

My face adopted a weary scowl. I had been working over it for 2 hours with multiple exposures to it as I passively breathed it in.

"It is truly quite pricey." She added on. "Are you certain you don't want to take up Surie on her offer, as it may ease your suffering?" Her eyes crinkled in amusement at my predicament.

My expression darkened further. I had a hard enough time resisting that luscious temptation before. I wasn't going to throw myself back into the same dire situation I found myself in before.

As I thought that, an idea that I considered to be brilliant came to mind. "You said that having the favor of one such as I who was the apprentice of Victoria was considered valuable." The matron gave a hesitant nod, as if wondering where I was going, before I continued. "Then it should also follow along with the ideology, that if I were to give out my favor to any who sought my interest with fervor, that over time my favor would lose its appeal as it would be spread too thin." Her face became a bit disgruntled at my pontifications. "What it should come down to is that I should refrain from offering of myself in order to retain the value that I have, and save it for a time for when I can fully experience the benefits and not for a simple fling."

Her own expression had darkened by that point in my voiced thoughts, before she responded. "That is not an incorrect consideration, however, you have many you could favor before a notable depreciation would occur."

Shaking my head, I stood my ground. "I would rather take the time and effort to learn of who I'd be giving of myself to in-depth before risking Victoria's and my reputation on indulging my desires in irreversible ways. For some things, once done, cannot be undone."

*Sigh* Her near silent reaction to my declaration gave me pause. She then spoke in a far more subdued tone than before. "I can actually appreciate that more than you may realize." Casting her gaze out the window to take in the view of the lower-class district, her eyes took on a distant expression.

"You may not know, but I take in most of my employees from the poor and destitute." Her words did not sound of pride or of gleeful success at getting one over another being. Rather her words were tinged with sorrowful understanding of the plight of others. "Too often, I come across drug addicted parents or inebriated family members who are all to happy to sell off their younger charges for my keeping. This would simply be in order to be able to afford their next drug hit or bottle of alcohol. All to get a moments reprieve from their routinely depressing lives."

I felt my eyes widen and my expression harden at this reveal into the darker aspects of the city.

Turning to look at me more directly as if to be assured of my attention, she continued. "I raise these children as if there were my own daughters and sons. I teach them proper etiquette and education. Then, I encourage them to invest in personal hobbies which they have both an interest in and which would prove popular to the rich elite within the city."

I was still feeling unsatisfied with her explanation, as it sounded like she was pimping off her 'children' to the rich and wealthy. A strong feeling of aversion was building up within me. But still she went on with her description of her place of business.

"As I said before, each of my children or employees has a personal choice as to if they will give of themselves be it physically or sexually to a client. All that a client pays for, is fair a demonstration of their talents. Any further exchanges of favors are done at the voluntary behest of both parties involved. It is my responsibility to make sure that such remains voluntary, with no undue pressure placed upon either member."

My sense of righteous indignation began to falter at her words, threatening to go out altogether as I felt lost in her seemingly unassailable reasoning.

Her words then continued. "An example of a demonstration would actually be that of Surie whom you had the opportunity to acquaint yourself with, and her younger sister Latifa whom you saw in passing. They are both very talented fire dancers, who have yet to lose their virginity. Their group presentation of fire dancing skills is a huge favorite of both wealthy men and women who patronize them." 

Pausing to take a sip of her own drink, the matron then asked me. "Would you like to stay tonight and watch their dance?" Her lips pursed in humored delight before adding. "Perhaps you may rethink your decision to take up Surie on her offer."

I felt an echo of the sensation I had experienced back when resisting the temptation of Surie, when she had first sought to seduce me. The razor's edge beckoned me, and a very hard part of me yearned for that struggle to once again be waged. I would be lying if I said my more practical side wasn't curious about the fire dancing itself. However, what I felt truly saved me was my desire to not disappoint my master. Although she had not given me a set time to return, I did not relish the idea of disappearing for the night on her, during my first run of delivering goods. As such, I made up my mind.

This time I spoke with more finality and a deep bow. "I am grateful for the lessons you have instilled within me this day, and the time you have taken to entertain my thoughts. Someday, I do believe I may take you up on your offer to observe the fox sisters' fire dance. However, I do not believe that it would be wise to further continue this discussion as the night draws near and I have some time before I would be able to return to my master. As such, I do beg my leave."

I don't know how I pulled those words out of my usually shy and introverted mind, but I had to struggle to keep my shivering to a minimum as I quickly left her place of business and took the carriage back to the shop. I hated that aspect about myself. Sometimes, when I open up myself on a deeper level to others, and when I discuss heartfelt topics, I begin to shiver as if my body and mind are rebelling at such revelations about myself to others.

The return trip was uneventful as the previously present thugs with whom I had experienced the initial altercation were absent. Also, I was surprised that the initial siding of the carriage that had been smashed by the offending thug with his club, looked brand new. The carriage driver was all smiles as we returned the same path that we arrive on.

As we departed, I looked back at the many prostitutes plying their trade in front of Madam Callestro's business. Comparing the upbeat and spunky appearance of her two assistants with these destitute creatures was depressing. I knew such jobs were prevalent in my own world, hidden in the shadows of abusive systems and pimps. My resolve hardened and I became determined to not be a contributor to such.

Now it was time to stand up for my own dreams. I needed to work to accommodate my personal goals in becoming more as I desired and less like what society wanted me to be, as simply a powerful stud to share my seed and influence.

Prior to reaching the Apothecary shop, I stopped by the Traveler's Stone to rid myself of the arousing effects of the Blue Dream dust. Upon contact, the pillar felt resistant to consider my aroused state as an affliction. I was unsure if it would be affective, but I mentally pressed upon it that it Was an affliction. Just like that, the energies washed through me gently and my rigid discomfort was eased.

*Phew* My sigh of relief would have been evident to any bystanders that might have been lingering about. However, darkness was already setting in as the evening drew late and the majority of the marketplace had shut down already.

Arriving back at the Apothecary shop I jumped out of the carriage without waiting for the driver to assist me. Gratefully bidding him goodbye, I entered the shop to see what my teacher had to say for herself. 

**************

As I frequently saw her, she was hunched over the front counter working to create various tinctures. She had several implements running simultaneously as she paid closer attention to the straining filter and the liquid coming out of it.

Settling myself quietly beside her, while waiting for her to finish, I pulled out the apothecary book to review the plants I had studied earlier today. Not a single one mentioned any treatment for my recent affliction, then I recalled what I had studied the night prior. Flipping to the page with a bundle of small lilac flowers with whorls on long spikes I read more carefully what it said. Labeled as Agnus Castus, meaning Chaste Tree, despite it not coming from a tree, it had the effect of reducing libido. It stated that groups or individuals seeking to abstain from indulging in sexual desires yet not wanting to seek more drastic permanent measures would chew on the berries to ease their unwanted libido. I fumed at the idea that I had to suffer for so long with that uncomfortable erection when a simple consumption of Agnus Castus, could have solved my issue. I was truly madder at myself for not asking about what it was I was breaking down into powder. Surly Victoria had intended this as another lesson as an apothecary.

Looking down at some smaller text at the bottom of the page, it referenced some herbs that it aided in countering the effects of. It took a while of cross referencing then all and finding them scattered throughout the book, but I finally found the offending plant.

Rigida Mane known as Stiff morning or Blue Dream in certain circles of use. This herb can be taken in a number of forms with varying delay in effects. The most rapid effect is through inhalation of its powdered form. It will cause a strong erectile display in even the most recalcitrant and flaccid of male sexual organs. The symptoms have been known to last for hours and it is strongly advised that only those in good robust health utilize it in anything more than small doses.

*Huff* I chuckled to myself at the greatly increased incentive to study and recall what I had studied. By this point, Victoria had finished up what she was working on and was now lingering behind me as I read what had afflicted me.

"It's nice to see you make the connection between what you processed this morning and the associated cure for such. I hope that this is a good lesson to always question that which you are processing for another. Taking for granted that you are safe to create a certain product when your client asks such of you, is not a safe assumption to make." A frown colored her words. "Despite your mishap, I was also informed by a small friend of ours that you used the Travelers stone to remedy such a minor inconvenience. I will admit that I did not restrict you from doing such except for our initial test. However, going forward, I will ban its use except in the case of physical injury. I feel that to use it for anything other than such, defeats the purpose of my training method."

I wanted to resist her command, but it made too much sense. I truly did cheat and even the pillar itself had appeared resistant to be utilized for such a minor inconvenience. "I promise to abide by your request." I politely responded.

With an appreciative nod she again spoke. "I hope that your trip to the Red district was productive and enlightening. Whatever happened there, I will not judge as I did send you with unique circumstances."

Hold on a moment, did she think that I had given in and slept with one of Madam Callestro's employees?!

*Cough* "Wait!" I protested. "I refused their offer." I then glared at her surprised look. "I didn't feel it was right and would rather save myself for a deeper commitment."

Victoria paused at my words for a moment before slowly replying. "I believe . . . that must have been a difficult choice, given the circumstances." I felt that her words had more than a singular meaning. Trying to discern what else she might be alluding to I was distracted by her new look of respect.

I had seen a hint of that respect when I had successfully completed her initial test, but now it was more pronounced, like she specifically approved of my personal decision.

A warmth similar to the feelings I experienced in my own life pulsed from my core as it resonated against the amulet. My eyes misted up a bit as I wanted so badly to be enveloped by that greatly muted sensation. It hurt that I hadn't seen such honest pride and respect in my actions and choices from another in so long.

I choked down a knot in my throat and changed the subject. "I really appreciate what Madam Callestro did for me in explaining your situation and my reflection of it here. I will do my best to not disappoint your expectations." Pausing a moment, as I recalled the altercation that I believe led to discovering my shortcomings, I mentioned the situation of the Grunts that I had interacted with.

The heavy money bag sat beside me on the counter as a reminder. I did plead for leniency in their case, however, Victoria flared up at hearing my retelling. A dangerous looking smile crossed her face as she told me not to worry and that she would deal with things.

She had not commented on my reported acquisition of the bag of coins.

After that discussion we broke for dinner. At dinner I brought up my new ideas and desires to diversify my time and actions.

Listening patiently to me explain my desire and intent to expound upon my prior studies and learning in architecture, Victoria put on a pensive look.

"There may be a way to get what you want, and still continue learning as you have been doing." A smirk colored her next words. "It may not be what you expect, but I believe I can set something up for you tomorrow. I've been meaning to get some slime cores for a while now to experiment with."

Slime cores?! My eyes lit up in excitement. This sounded like something fun and adventurous! I was uncertain how it would mix in with architecture, but was interested to find out.

Soon, the dinner conversation and plans for the next day had been finished. Without wasting much time, I drew out the apothecary book and studied the next day's plants and recapped all the previous ones that I had studied before. I didn't want to be caught flatfooted again without adequate preparation.