Hard to Forgive

Oh! Goddess, I have been praying for almost 7 days six times in a row but that kid has not shown any slightest bit of improvement, said Patricia in disappointment to the statue.

After thinking about this for an eternity .Patricia is sure that he must have made a mistake in his praying procedure so he decided to blame himself infront of the Goddess statue that has been placed in the prayer hall from santuries.

A week ago Patricia had a sacred dream in which a Goddess with silver hair and golden eyes spoke to him something regarding Ryan.

"You are My dear one,

Only someone who prays with yearning can heal that child. You must Remember that the individual or healer needs to devote his or her whole life for the weak."

Patricia was really thrilled to see a goddess with his own eyes .He got a rare sight to see that he will never see again in this life.

He knee down against her and asks hesitantly

"A-are you perhaps ," neglecting his curiosity he prioritise to ask "P-perhaps it's about Ryanair."

That makes the Goddess smiled and after that he woke up from his sacred dream .It all happened at a steady pace that he even mesmerised his dream as an illusion of his unsettled mind due to stress Somehow? he got a hold onto a strande of her silver hair, moving straight into the prayer room .He thanked the goddess for showing her mercy .Ever since then he has been praying for Ryanair.

Patricia ,who is thinking about all the incidents that occurred a week ago. Suddenly Jolted from his seat and began to move hasty in a allelway corresponding to the hall of the main corridor and later towards the Goddess statue which is in the middle of the Right hall .Only a few have the excess to visit this big prayer hall because of the sacred existence of the Goddess herself inside her deity.

Looking at the statue and hair strande .He kneels down against her and said "Goddess please show me the sight of the one you desire to pray for the child. I am begging you."

Afterwards, the door behind Patricia opens up with a creak sound on its own.

Father Patricia's eyes were shifted at the orientation of the door and widened when he saw.

"Father. What are you doing here at such unexpected hours" said Iris.

"Iris you!! Why are you here?" Patricia asks in doubt.

Iris replied with confidence "Of course, For prayer".

Patricia could not believe his ears because Iris has been neglecting his prayers due to Ryan existence inside the temple .He just don't wanted to be related to Ryan after saying this long ago ' that he would never visit the prayer hall until he felt the surety about his feelings regarding the young child himself '

Iris scratches his nape in hesitation and says with a sigh "Yes, Yes I know what father's queries Are? But I can not skip my prayers anymore because of my selfishness, thanks to that old lady. who I met a week ago at the funeral of the former Grand Duchess .I understand more now, Why I need to be here in a situation where I can't rely on others. I only think about the Goddess."

Patricia tilted his head and asked "lady?"

"Yes! Father Patricia doesn't know her .I also just met her at the funeral of the former grand Duchess."

Back at the former Duchess Funeral .Iris got a life changing discussion over how? he needs to lead his life like before after Ryaniar arrived inside the palace from that old, hooked back lady.

"You seem less divine today. Are you doing your prayers" asks an old lady.

"A-ah .I" Iris hesitates and says. . "I don't My Lady but How do you know about this?"

"Oh!? is that so? I think my question troubled you. I apologise for my rudeness" she tries to lean her back to show Courtesy but immediately stopped by Iris.

Furthermore, Iris doesn't know what to say .It's really tough for him to hold a conversation due to his current circumstance .He apologises to the old lady for being ignorant.

"No, my lady. It's not you but I am in a situation where I do not know what to say, " Iris replied with a sullen look on his face

"Care for sharing with me 'your problems," said that old lady

Pardon !? Iris was stunned by her reckless tone and careful gesture.

that old lady said with a smile. "About your troubles, might be my suggestion helpful to you,"

They both attain vacant seats of the garden corresponding to each other and begin to discuss Iris's problem further.

To avoid embarrassment, Iris illustrated the dilemma as one of his familiar or close friends' ethical problems.

After a while, the old Lady said, "So you are saying that your friend didn't go to the prayer hall ever ,since then because of the guilt in his heart" with a Hummed she continued "And it's entirely your decision" . She got what she said wrong and corrected herself after a cough in a low voice. "I mean It's entirely your friend's fault. Right? "

"yes". Iris replied in a quiet voice.

"How can you be so sure?" She asked after a low sigh and continued " Well, let's take it simple .Just for a moment you need to pretend that you are, not Iris but your friend who is in this messed up situation .Alright," said that old lady as she put her cane aside.

'No problem' said Iris inside his mind and nodded his head in reply.

"So please tell me, My lady. Is this my fault to behave like this? said Iris with a serious tone.

"I just command and your behaviour has already changed so much" said the lady .It makes Iris feel a bit ashamed .He asks with a regretful face" If I accept the child .It means I forgive the former Empress Eunoia who betrayed my family but if not then I have no right to go near that innocent being. I did the right thing. Right Ms...?

That old lady makes a gesture which means 'bring your ear ,near to me ' and Iris brings his ear near her face that lady began to whisper something in his ear as 'Idiot '

Iris' ear could not gasp her word .Iris pulled his ear back which is now far away to approach.

she said again in a steady voice "you are an idiot."

"So, it's my fault that I was born like an Idiot" Iris said with a devastated face.

the Lady *sigh* and said "Well, it's not your fault I make you like this"

"Pardon!? make you like this" Iris asked with an amazed voice.

Lady coughs twice and continues her speech as "I mean humans are like that you always get carried away by your feelings. is it not?"

Iris lightly nodded thrice in response.

"However, what you are doing is rather childish you let your past personal feelings take over your present and now, it's a burdensome mixture of feelings and responsibilities which is bound to get exploded sooner or later" She said "Let's take a human being's life span as an example .Everyone is bound to die one day then why don't we die today? Why do we live a life of suffering? when we know we will die one day despite taking nothing with us. Well it's because .Life without suffering is nothing but 'gold without glitter' which only has the colour but not the shine. My dear 'Iris Vandan Lavender' you are right that you can't forgive the former Empress Eunoia ,But it doesn't mean that you may blame a naive child. A child is the purest being of God on this planet and you are not accepting it just because of the accusation over his mother."

"Listen to me Iris, forget everything and forgive Eunoia, the former Empress .If by forgiving her your heart can accept Ryanair then it's not bad." Saying so, She noticed Iris stiffly back regarding her solution.

After concurring her breath which got high earlier due to old age. She continued her speech as an example that will help Iris to understand what her words mean exactly. and why is she so eager to forgive the culprit?

"Let's Suppose for a second that you never forgive Eunoia for killing your parents and Insist yourself for taking revenge from her child 'Raynier' who has nothing to do with her since he was born that might avenge your regrets on behalf of your parents who died horribly. But then you are also no more greater than her and to be honest .You will be even worse than Eunoia. At the very least Eunoia has put her trust into the Temple that the Temple will protect an innocent child regardless of her criminal mother. Who will be criticised by the whole world because of her selfish deeds."

While gathering her hands together that old lady said with grief "You don't know Iris when Eunoia or Ryanair's mother or the former Empress. Took her first step ,'No! No, To be precise when she took her first decision to give her child Ryan to the temple from the very moment .She felt the grief of her wrong deeds .She knew that She is not worthy of forgiveness but still she put her trust into the temple and their attendants.

Wouldn't you think Iris .It must be a very difficult decision for her. I mean for Eunoia as well to give away the most precious being she ever held to the point that she wouldn't care about throwing her life own life ?"

It makes Iris speechless .he has no words which

may explain his guilt.

But the old lady didn't stop here . She said with a concerned voice "And I know it's really hard to forgive someone.

To be continued