Where's Yoaru?
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Waking up early in the morning, Azula was in a far from good mood. She hadn't been able to get a good night's sleep the previous night. It was Yoaru's fault for deciding to wake her up right in the middle of the night. Stretching, and with a not at all elegant yawn, she looks around her tent with a sleepy gaze. Her informal lover was nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately, he didn't have to report to her and never forgot to remind her of that, but knowing him for quite some time now, she expected to see him around as soon as she woke up. Yoaru wouldn't miss the opportunity to joke and assure her that he was fine, and with the new information from the library, it wouldn't hurt for the two of them to discuss future plans. The princess didn't allow herself to ponder the subject for long, quickly finding a satisfying answer. Surely her familiar spirit had lingered in the mythical library after all. Perhaps he had found something interesting and forgotten himself in time. She was prevented from thinking further, however, by a footstep approaching her chambers.
- 'Mistress, it is dawn,' reported the soldier who had entered the tent, looking straight ahead, not at the blanketed female body. Azula didn't really care where he was looking, shyness was not in her nature.
- Dismissed.
- Aye!" the soldier pounded his fist on her chest, leaving her alone.
With another stretch, the princess began to dress. She was already tired of this inspection, but she always finished it perfectly. The unnecessary thoughts only distracted her from the task at hand. Fortunately for Azula, this inspection game would be over very soon. With only a few more items to inspect, she would be back on her ship far out at sea. Donning her armour, the girl left the tent heading out to command the soldiers who had risen to their feet. Warming up, eating, minimal cleanliness procedures... and other little things. The princess watched all this from the side, commanding the soldiers in such trivialities could be done by the simplest of officers. Watching all this routine, the girl noticed her friend from the circus turning her head too often, looking at the sky.
- Tai Li," the princess beckoned to her friend, moving away from the rest of the people in the camp.
The acrobat immediately jumped after the princess, professionally performing half a dozen fierce somersaults.
- Good morning, Azula.
- Morning. I want to tell you he won't be here for a while, so don't look so hard. People will think you're too windy and always flying in the clouds," Azula spoke quietly, so that the extra ears wouldn't hear anything.
- Oh, and he didn't warn me about anything, - the girl was a little upset, instantly realising who we're talking about, - and where did he go? And for how long?
- He asked me to tell you that. You know, now is not the time to talk about it. Yoaru will catch up with us in time, I'm not going to delay the route for him. Get yourself cleaned up and ready to leave with the rest of us," the princess said in a commanding tone, with a slight twist of humour.
- Yes, Madam Princess," Tai Li curtsied and bowed jokingly, and hurried back to her work.
"And why did I cover it up?" - Azula did not allow herself to ponder her strange actions for long, however. Satisfying herself that she just didn't want to make her best friend worry unnecessarily, she went back to her business.
Soon the troop was on the move, it moved at its usual speed. The whole day went as usual for the soldiers. The squad continued on their long established route. Azula wasn't too worried about Yoaru, the spirit could disappear for a day or two before, even if the latter was rare. The need to replenish some sort of spiritual energy, required their frequent and regular meetings. The princess was sure that her lover was sure to appear, literally right away, in a minute, or this minute.... but it never happened.
Yoaru did not appear after an hour, or two hours, or even when the day came. For two days, the squad travelled in their usual style, sticking to the plan, and Yoaru never showed up. Now that was something to think about. Before, he had never disappeared for so long. No, Azula knew, or wanted to believe, that he was fine. He was strong and could take care of himself, but there was a worry lingering in his chest. And if the princess had the willpower to restrain her emotions, not letting them reflect on her face, but Tai Li began to worry a lot.
The first night, they discussed everything they could about his absence. Azula told her friend where and why their close acquaintance had gone, and was able to calm her down by easily reassuring her that he was fine and that he would definitely come back. However, Yoaru did not return, not after a day or two.
After a few days, Azula herself began to suspect something wrong. Tai Li, on the other hand, only added fuel to the fire of her feelings and worries. Every night they met and talked about him.
- Azula, he didn't come back, did he? - immediately began circus girl, as soon as they were alone one late evening.
- Lee, I'll be sure to let you know as soon as he shows up," Azula replied in a tired voice.
- I know, but you didn't hurt him, did you? He couldn't have taken offence and left us?
- Lee..." the princess said in a disgruntled voice, and then exhaled a long breath, letting out the tension that had built up. - No, I already told you how he left. Stop worrying about things we can't affect, and we can't affect them in any way. All we have to do is accept it and hope for the best while preparing for the worst.
- You sound just like Yoaru," the acrobat said with a sad smile. It was painful to remember the spirit, and the good-natured girl's heart was overwhelmed with worry.
- Hm, - the princess frowned unhappily, such a comparison was not to her liking, - The time is late, soon it will be a rest, if you want to say something say it, or leave it for tomorrow.
- Well... - the circus girl stammered, looking away embarrassed and folding her hands. - There is something I would like to ask.
Such behaviour immediately caught Azula's interest. Her friend was very rarely embarrassed, especially so ostentatiously.
- Interesting. Go ahead.
- You see, I'm somewhat worried about Yoara, and you always find the right words to reassure me. Even the soldiers have noticed the change in me, they say: I often look sad when watching the sky. I smile at them and tell them it's okay, but... I guess I just can't pretend well enough. Can I sleep next to you? - Tai Li spoke frankly, looking at Azula with a look of great hope.
Even the princess's icy heart could not resist such a thing.
- If it makes you feel better, fine.
- Thank you! And yes, can May be with us too?
- May? - I'm surprised. What's wrong with her?
- No, nothing's wrong, I just don't want to leave her alone. You see, the men in the squad haven't seen their wives for a long time, and some of them don't have wives at all. As friends, we can't have our May suffering from their over-attention. No! Don't get any ideas, they're nice and kind, but they're too clingy," the girl waved her hands when she saw Azula's eyes glittering angrily.
- Hmm, alright. I'll give an order. From tonight, both of you can sleep in my tent," Azula replied after a short thought.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, you're the best friend in the world," the circus girl immediately rushed to hug the princess, expressing her gratitude right into her ear.
- Ugh," Azula wrinkled her nose at the loudness of the words, but nevertheless did not hurry to get out of the tight embrace. Even on the contrary, her hands began to gently stroke the girl's back.
Soon, after talking some more, the friends separated.
The remaining time before bedtime, the princess spent thinking about her feelings for Tai Li. Of course, because of Yoaru's persistence, she had long since sorted out her feelings. Or she just thought she had sorted them out.... Now Azula had to admit that she felt calmer and more confident in her friend's presence. All unnecessary worries receded into the background, as soon as the circus girl spoke. Before it was not very noticeable, but because of the disappearance of the spirit, to which she had already got used to, she felt uncomfortable, and Tai Li perfectly helped to cope with these changes. Sharing a single tent seemed like the perfect solution. They had shared the same room before, no one found anything wrong with it. Everyone knew that the girls were the princess's closest cronies.
However, Azula herself had no idea what she was condemning herself to. No, worries and cold nights of complete loneliness disappeared from the princess's life, as well as bad thoughts with speculations about Yoaru's possible betrayal and his leaving on his own initiative, but all this was replaced by something else....
- Don't worry, he's fine, he can take care of himself," Azula whispered reassuringly to her friend as they talked before going to sleep.
- How can I not worry? What if right now, he's being abused and doing something bad to him? What if he never comes back? What if he's dead? - Tai Li's quiet and worried voice answered the princess.
But then a third, neutral and completely calm party - Mei - intervened in the conversation.
- Did I hear everything right just now? I can't even imagine who could offend a spirit, or even kill it.
- Who? Other spirits of course!
- Logical, - Mei acknowledged the circus performer's rightness, remaining, as usual, indifferent to everything.
- The time is late, tomorrow we will arrive in the city and do the inspection, go to bed, - Azula reminded the time in a stern voice.
- I'm sorry, I just can't help but think about it. Goodnight Azula, May," The girls wished each other goodnight and remained in silence.
Both Azula and Tai Li were looking forward to Yoaru's return, and both were worried about it. And while one was used to hiding her feelings, the other was showing them off to such confidants as close friends. And this only brought the girls closer together. May wasn't the black sheep of the group. No, she was neutral, but it was her unbiased opinion that helped the princess to reassure her friend. At the same time, it was her presence that stalled the development of the relationship between the princess and the acrobat. However, this was far from always the case.
Time continued to slip through her fingers. The days passed, and Yoaru did not appear. The hope of his return dwindled with each passing day. Azula's dark thoughts were held in check solely by Tai Li's optimism and kindness. Perhaps he had betrayed her, perhaps he had left for good, or perhaps he had been eaten by another spirit. For each such outcome, she tried to come up with her own plan of action, for if Yoar was to be believed, the avatar would surely return. And that would be a threat to the entire nation. However, hope was not dead yet, and in her heart she wanted her lover to return as soon as possible, and she was not the only one who wanted it. The circus girl did not stop talking about him at least once a day, the girl became very attached to the spirit, from which the princess caught herself that she felt a form of envy mixed with jealousy. But it was impossible to be angry or resentful of Tai Li.
After one day of inspection in another city, the girls decided to continue sleeping in the same room. The two of them were afraid to be alone with their thoughts and concerns, Mei was fine with this outcome. Long conversations before bed weren't so terrible, except that the topics got boring very quickly. Both Azula and Tai Li had talked about Yoaru quite often in the last week, rarely discussing training or anything interesting that had happened during the day or what they had seen in the new city. More often than not, the girls liked to discuss local delicacies or sweets as soon as they remembered Yoaru and stopped talking about work, inspections, training, or the latest news.
This evening was no different from the others, the girls were talking quietly about their usual topics before bed, but on this particular evening Mei decided to speak her mind about what had happened.
- I couldn't help but notice something strange. You talk about Yoaru too much, and think about him even more," Mei took the lead, sensing the right moment when Azula and Tai Li began to wonder why the spirit had disappeared.
- Mei, you're cruel! Yoaru, he's my... our close friend," Tai Li immediately became indignant, stammering slightly.
- No. I just don't understand how you can worry so much about a vanished spirit. Your life doesn't end there. You've been talking about him lately, and it's strange," Mei said in a calm voice full of rationality, while thinking about how close Yoaru had become to her friends before he mysteriously disappeared.
- You only say that because you don't know him. If you could see and hear him, you wouldn't be so cold!
- Maybe, but what isn't there isn't there. You know, right now you sound like a girl in love, waiting for her sailor who's gone to sea," Mei continued calmly.
- Is that a bad thing? That I'm waiting for him? That I'm worried and anxious for him? That I have feelings and I'm not afraid to show them? - Lee answers her in an unusually aggressive manner.
- I don't think so, but we have to be realistic. What are you going to do if he never comes back? It doesn't matter what the reason is. He just doesn't come back. Have you ever had that thought?
- I push them away from me, hoping for the best," Ty Lee admits honestly, realising the painful truth.
- I think that's enough talking for today. We really do bring up Yoaru too much. We've gotten used to the presence of that insolent man," Azula's previously silent voice resounds in the absolute darkness.
- If I were you, I'd be glad. Didn't it bother you that he could be peeping at you at any time? - The eternally calm girl decides to ask one last time.
- Mei, Yoaru is not like that! You're a vindictive meanie!
- You know best, Lee. You know him well.
- Enough talking. Sleep, good night, all of you," Azula said, ordering them to go to bed.
Wishing each other long and pleasant dreams, the girls fell silent, deciding not to tease the princess with their disobedience.
Absolute silence and complete darkness did not favour sleep that evening. Thoughts tormented Azula's mind, preventing her from drifting off into dreamland. Mei's words may have been referring to her friend, but she was experiencing almost the same thing that Tai Li was experiencing. And her friend's words could also characterise her. Realising this fact, the princess couldn't help but think of Yoaru, of a possible future with or without him. Perhaps what she felt for the disembodied man was more than just bodily needs and mild passion. Though their acquaintance did not go well, and for quite a long time they spoilt each other's lives, but after a while, she got to know him better and closer, he in turn got to know her. Respect and acceptance, no doubt Azula felt it for him, as he felt for her. But... love? Was there one between them? The princess did not know the answer.
As time passed, sleep would not come to the conqueror of the blue flame. And so it went on until the needs of the body reminded her of themselves. Azula wanted to visit the bathroom. Quietly getting up from her bed, she silently left the room to the quiet sniffling of her friends. She didn't need to get dressed, the night dressing gown was always on the girl. Adjusting her clothes, she walked through the dark corridors of the manor straight to the lavatory with a floating gait.
Once she was done with her business in the washroom, however, she was in no hurry to return to bed. Stopping at the nearest window, the girl opened it, exposing her face to the cold wind of the night. Feeling the soothing coolness, she decided to linger a little longer and breathe in the fresh air. The wind caressed her hair, taking away any unnecessary thoughts and worries. This was nice and somewhat new, Azula had never allowed herself such pointless actions before, finding them a waste of time. Now... such a small thing gave her peace.
Taking a full breath, she opened her eyes with pleasure, looking around the night street. Down there, her soldiers patrolled the roads, chasing away passersby and drunken people. She didn't care about them, Azula just enjoyed the coolness of the city at night. So she continued to breathe and enjoy the peace and quiet until her hearing, trained by Master Piandao, heard someone else's heartbeat and quiet footsteps. Turning around, she instantly tensed up and prepared to fight, as soon as her eyes saw a silhouette approaching from the darkness.
"No, Yoaru doesn't have a heartbeat, let alone the sound of footsteps," Azula instantly killed the hope that had flared within her, watching carefully for the slowly approaching unknown person.