Soul Storm

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When I saw the sea monster practically smearing Azula on the wall with its tail, something inside me stirred, as if my absent heart was pricking with pain.

After being hit by the monster, the girl hooked her sai daggers onto the deck, ensuring that the monster's tail didn't drag her behind it into the water like it did to the other guardsman. The blades of the daggers sliced well through the ship's plating, leaving their mark a couple of metres long. The princess held on only by her word of honour, and soon collapsed to the deck. Like a broken doll that had had its strings cut. I could see that she was still alive, but something like that must have left some serious injuries. They were impossible to see from a distance, but I think she was lucky to be left with arms and legs that might even be functional.

From above the bird's flight, I watched the workings of my hands. While the monster was beating in agony under the blows of the fire masters, my mind was full of speculation as to how it had come to this....

It all started with a hastily created plan.

Seeing the storm passing nearby, I decided to seize the moment and properly punish the girl, while demonstrating my new abilities and remind her that she was not afraid of me for nothing. Taking over as helmsman, I steered the ship into the storm. I tore down the alarm bells and threw them into the sea. Killed every soldier who tried to stop me. In return they killed me, but I am a spirit, only the bodies possessed by me died. They were mostly mages, as they were much easier to possess and lasted much longer. Although active combat reduced the time of possession to one minute, but with my skills I could do everything I needed to do in thirty seconds.

And no matter how professional the soldiers were not, no matter how much experience, skills or experience they had, in what battles did not participate. Absolutely none of them expected that any of their comrades could stab them in the back, suddenly demonstrating masterly skills in conquering fire, close combat and handling any cold weapon. This was not what life had prepared them for. Getting the ship into a storm was too easy, people could literally do nothing to me. It was even becoming a little embarrassing to do so.

Overall, the massacre didn't bother me at all. Except that the absolutely dishonourable methods and ways of killing caused some shame. To my shock, I even enjoyed killing people colourfully, masterfully, with a single blow. And it was strange, I had never noticed any particular sadism or passion for battle. Does personal power have such an effect on the mind? Or was it the physical body? Feeling so strong and powerful... it felt good.

I still remained cynical to the very depths of my soul, treating the deaths of strangers with terrible indifference. There are huge numbers of strangers dying in the world on a regular basis, in agony, disease, starvation, violence.... Nothing changes from the fact that some of them died before my eyes or at my hands. And why would I care about the lives of soldiers? I don't know them, they don't know me. Sure, some have families, wives, children, dreams, debts and other nonsense of the living, but what do I care? It's their duty to die for other people's goals, it's their job and there's nothing to think about it too much.

Except that a certain sense of impropriety still plagued the mind. And it wasn't related to the suddenly awakened passion of battle. Or was it self-assertion? I don't know. I never asserted myself at the expense of others, especially those who were weaker. It's the domain of insecure fools with low self-esteem. I never thought of myself as such.

Meanwhile, the battle continued, though not as vigorously as before. The beast had used up all its strength and only shuddered under the mages' attacks. The only ones who were hurt by it were Azula and another guard who fell overboard, hit by the colossal tail along with the princess.

I saw how much brain damage the monster had after being struck by the princess' lightning. That's why I lost control of the creature. It's hard to enter and control a half-fried brain. From that moment on, things went down the intimate place of women.

Soon the soldiers of fire defeated the monster by throwing its carcass into the water. Once out of danger, the first thing they did was carry Azula down to the infirmary. At this time, the ship began to move away from the epicentre of the storm, gradually getting out of it. I continued to watch the princess from a distance. At the same time, I was thinking about the reasons for the emotions I was experiencing, which were not typical for me.

Pity? No. It wasn't her. Pity for whom? Unless the maids were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The ship's military crew? No, I certainly won't feel sorry for them. They knew what they were getting into, serving in the Fire Nation's army is entirely contractual. Azulu? After the torture and betrayal on her part... I don't know. Even though I saw it coming, and even gained a lot of good things in the end, while the princess herself is self-defeating and suffering from loneliness. But to watch this hard working, and eager for recognition and love child fall a broken doll..... It was painful.

I don't know what to think! She is a spoilt child whose life I remember by heart. I know she was made that way, and I know she just couldn't do it any other way, she didn't know how, she wasn't taught. Even now, I partially understand and accept all of my actions, finding them logical. Part of me says that this is exactly what should have happened. There was no other way to deal with Azula, she wouldn't understand other methods. I've tried it before, gently, leisurely, but it didn't work. Only force, only fear! It was the only way I could make her respect my power. Fear, the best feeling that controls a man!

But... wait.

I remember those words! They were spoken to the princess by her father. I see. That's what my feelings are trying to tell me. It's clear. I wouldn't have done it this way, no. I would have thought of a more subtle and effective way, without the sacrifice and the killing. And this... this is what Azula would have done in my place. The effects of rebuilding her energy in the princess' image, along with her memory, are taking their toll. I need to take better care of myself. To avoid such thoughts, and worse, actions.

Undoubtedly, I need to sort myself out, define my goals, the way to achieve them and how to realise them. And also the price I'm willing to pay for all this.....

Was there anything else you could have done? Yes. There were many options, but I was pressed for time. Time... there's never enough of it. Or am I starting to make excuses for myself? It's so disgusting to be self-explanatory. Except that one bald monk about to awaken this year won't be asking for my opinion. But even with the timing, what I did was too reckless and somewhat foolish. Just like Azula did to me, betraying me at the first opportunity....

I need to meditate. I need to sort myself out. It's a good thing we have time while the princess is unconscious.

It's a good time to think about what I should do...

(***)

Despite the loss of people, several holes, leaks, bent planking and other consequences of the traitors' sabotage, the princess' ship successfully overcame the storm. Only, the Imperial Guard had not found any traces of the traitors. Their possible presence forced them to act much tougher and literally hover over the working sailors. But everyone understood and accepted such a situation and such harsh measures.

Most of the princess's cortege had survived, so they guarded all the important places, not even giving the lurking traitors a chance to strike a sudden blow. Even if they were not found, but after the incident, the Guards had no right to make a mistake. By order of the Captain of the Guard, Azula was always guarded by a minimum of three fire mages.

Under their supervision, the ship's doctor was treating the Emperor. The doctor knew that if he failed in this task, he would be declared a traitor and accused of all sins. Luckily for him, the lady got off lightly, as for being hit by the tail of a giant serpent. If you believe the eyewitnesses, and there was no reason not to. Dislocated both arms and one leg, cracked bones, broken ribs and countless bumps, grazes and bruises. An easy price to pay for survival in such a situation, and the wounds... a young body would easily heal the wounds. Easily, but not soon.

By then the princess had just recovered, showing amazing survivability, and afterwards a high pain threshold. The doctor set the dislocated limbs, treated the rest of the wounds, and applied bandages and splints to the broken ribs and other bones that showed cracks. Azula didn't show a single muscle of the pain she was experiencing. She was only upset that she would only be able to return to training in a month, and that was at best. However, the girl masterfully hid her emotions and all her pain.

No one knew what she was thinking or feeling. Therefore, all the witnesses of the treatment were impressed by the girl's stamina. They did not even realise that losing even a little bit of reputation for the princess was much scarier than the pain of setting joints. Having finished with the treatment and writing the course of recovery, the doctor allowed to carry the princess to her chambers.

The guardsmen had to take the girl on a stretcher and carry her to the top floor of the pagoda. The unfortunates trembled with fear, carrying the imperial person with all possible care. Praying to Agni in their minds, they carried the girl slowly, unhurriedly pacing the stairs, wincing every time the girl wrinkled in pain. The princess did not complain, silently enduring, clenching her teeth. Only once during the entire journey did she order her to carry more carefully. However, the men almost turned grey with fear as they carried their burdens to the top floor.

Azula was eaten up by conflicting emotions. She had never felt so weak, helpless, humiliated.... The girl perfectly understood the situation and the need for such a thing, but there was nothing she could do about it. She only had to endure and try to recover as soon as possible. However, all this did not prevent the girl from being angry at her own situation. However, what she had been running away from for so long had caught up with her.

The loneliness of being alone with herself... it terrified her. Running away was no longer an option. Azula was left completely alone with her mental traumas and the foolish thoughts of her mind. The princess, enduring the pain, made a great effort, straining all her will not to appear weak in front of others. While she was being carried, she was thinking about many things, but no one was able to even guess what she was thinking about. It wasn't noticeable. Azula didn't show her worries or her suffering. But the girl knew that once she was alone, things would get much worse.

The guardsmen brought the girl to the chambers, leaving her to the order of the maids, who were checked several times in all places, slightly abusing their position. But they didn't complain much. Nor did Azula care much about it. The princess was completely immersed in her thoughts and emotions, boiling in them as if in a boiling cauldron. In this state of impotent anger, she couldn't even taste the soup she was being spoon-fed.

- 'Madam, ring the bell and we will come right away,' said one of the maids to the princess when they had finished tending to her. Azula could hardly move without being in pain, so she really needed help even with her sleeping arrangements.

- I know, leave me alone. I wish to be alone," the princess said demurely, glaring angrily at her maids who continued to fear her even given her condition.

Azula wasn't angry at them specifically, she just felt angry at everything. Her feelings raged within her, demanding an outlet, but they were held in check by the girl's colossal will.

The five women bow silently and walk out the door into the next chambers. The door remains slightly closed. Two guards stand just outside the door while a third patrols the corridor.

The light from the lamps illuminated the room. Azula had not extinguished them, and the maids had forgotten about it, anxious to do the princess's bidding in fear. The windows were closed with shutters, the wind howling behind them. The room was in order. On the wall hung a sword made of meteorite steel. Below, on the table lay the sai daggers that the guardsmen had brought with her. She had obtained them thanks to her spirit. They were the ones that saved her life today. The girl hardly looked away from the things that reminded her of her old acquaintance.

Otherwise, her chambers were disgustingly luxurious and pompous.

No one to talk to. No one to complain to. To be treated with the dignity of royalty. Be patient. To be the perfect heiress to the throne. No matter how hard it was, to continue to be perfect. But how could she follow her ideals when she was in such a miserable position? Perhaps it would have been better for her to die rather than endure such shame. Her heart overflowed with self-disgust every time someone looked at her. She couldn't see, but she guessed they were looking with pity. In such a terrible state, no one could be afraid of her.

Left alone, she wanted more than ever to talk, to cry about her problems, her pain. The anguish of her soul was so great and painful that tears spurted from her eyes. Now she didn't mind talking even to a parasite she had destroyed herself. She missed him so much, but she wouldn't even admit it mentally. Wiping her tears on the pillow, she tried to pull herself together and distract herself as she had done so many times before.

About to begin a healing breathing technique to distract herself from her mental torment, the girl takes a breath and shudders in a painful cough.

- Kha-kha-kha-kha... kha... kha... - trying to hold back the pain with a bursting cough, she tries to be strong, but... no, it doesn't work, it doesn't work. She's a weak, defenseless, broken and crying girl.

- Princess? Are you all right? - A guard entered immediately, concerned by what he heard.

- Yes," the girl hissed through gritted teeth, "get out of my room.

- I am," the soldier said in a shaky voice, and immediately walked out, leaving the princess alone with her pain.

Did he see her tears? Even if he did, he didn't show it in any way, quickly returning to his post.

Azula had no choice but to silently hold back her sobs. Intermittently breathing quietly, she tried to think of something difficult. Think of complex problems, think of naval battle tactics, battle tactics, solve complex mathematical equations in her mind, distract her mind with anything!

But she was getting nowhere....

She assumed the most comfortable position possible, the pain in her ribs easing. There was no telling how much time had passed. The wind outside the windows was still howling. It seemed to be a bright day? Or was it evening? The storm started early in the morning. She could have asked the guards, but she didn't want to be seen like this.

There was no sleep in either eye. How could one sleep in such a state when one wanted to scream! Azula struggled hard not to burst into tears. Tears silently flowed down her cheeks, forming wet paths. In this state, she was not at all aware of her surroundings and would have no way of seeing what was going on behind her.

A bluish spirit emerged from the wall behind her. Slowly and silently, it flew up to the girl and touched her forehead with the palm of its hand in a sharp movement. Azula's eyes flashed with light for a moment, after which she fell peacefully asleep.