Chapter 92

"Then why did you leave?" Toph questioned.

Blue shook his head again.

"You didn't? Then why are you here? I don't know of any noble father who wouldn't be disappointed by their son running off to play bandit."

...

Blue's heart rate suddenly spiked, and his whole body tensed up like a hedgehog-shrew curling into a ball. Guilty, Toph realised that she'd just strayed into uncomfortable conversation territory.

Slowly Blue nodded his head. Toph wasn't quite sure what he meant. "Yes? Yes to what?" Blue made a spiralling motion with his finger, like he wanted her to think about what she'd said before. "Yes, your father is disappointed that you're running off to play bandit?"

Blue nodded, even as his body language seemed to shrivel in on itself in shame.

"Ah." Toph thought she understood now. "I get it. You couldn't be the person your dad wanted you to be?" Blue nodded, and Toph let out a sigh. "I feel that. But so what? Screw what they think! We're here now, right? Free from all their nonsense expectations!"

Blue was still weirdly tense. Contrary to what she'd intended, her words hadn't encouraged him at all. But why? If he was here, didn't that mean he'd given up on trying to meet his parent's expectations too? Unless…"

"You're doing this for them, aren't you?" She asked softly, everything clicking into place. "You're out here, far from home, helping the Avatar because they told you to."

Blue didn't move to reply. He didn't have to. Toph didn't need to see to feel the potent mix of troubled emotions radiating off of him.

"Oh… damn. I'm-… uh-… sorry." It sucked having parents who didn't believe in you. She could only imagine how much worse it must be to have parents who actively tried to get rid of you.

Blue reached down, and in slow, careful handwriting began to trace letters in the ground. Toph felt the indentations as they were carved, putting them together into her mind's eye to form letters.

He gave me a mission. When I have proven myself worthy, I will be allowed to return to him with honour.

A mission? Toph had heard the way some of her dad's noble guests had talked about the war. To those high enough in society to avoid the frontlines, the war was a noble crusade against the fire nation that the dirty peasants should feel honoured to sacrifice their lives for. She could easily imagine Blue's parents being one of those stuck-up gits who thought it was perfectly acceptable to send a sensitive son off to war until he'd 'proved himself a man.'

"Doesn't that make you angry?" She asked.

Blue's finger moved across the ground again.

All the time.

"Then how do you deal with it?!" Toph demanded, reflexively clenching her fist as the memories of all the times she'd been forced to act like someone she wasn't came flooding back. "How do you not kick, scream, and break the house down!"

Blue was still for a moment. Then his finger traced a message again.

I had someone beside me.

He stilled, hesitating as he tried to find the words for what he wanted to say, then his finger got to work once more, carving the longest message yet into the earth. Toph waited patiently, herself strangely gripped by empathy for Blue's words, until the message was finished.

Looking back, I suppose he is the only friend I've ever had. For many years he was the only one I could say how I truly felt around.

When I was sent on my mission, he came with me. I never asked him to. He didn't have to. But when the time came for me to leave there he was, all packed and waiting for me.

Wherever I travelled, he was always by my side. Whenever I was lost he offered guidance, and whenever I made a decision he respected it. And the many times I got angry, more often at him than I'm proud of, he weathered the storm patiently.

He was always there when I needed him most.

I don't think I realised how much I needed him until he was gone.

Toph shuffled uncomfortably. She'd had hordes of staff at her mansion and hundreds of play-dates with other young noble ladies, but never had she found someone who shared her interest, or would accept her for who she was. Looking back, she'd never really had someone that she could call a real friend. So caught up in the sudden realisation of her own loneliness, Toph didn't realise that Blue had continued writing until he was nearly finished.

Real friends will get on your nerves sometimes. Often, even. They'll do things that make you mad, because you're different people and can't see eye to eye on everything. But I don't think that's a bad thing. I've seen friends who always agreed with one person's definition of what was right, and I don't think they're truly happy.

I think that's what separates a friend from an ally. Many people will flock around you when you're strong, when you're powerful, when you're at your best. But only a true friend will stick with you when you're at your weakest. And even the strongest of us can't be perfect all the time: we all need to sleep, all make bad decisions, all have times where we face something we simply can't do alone.

We don't always need someone else's help, or even want it. But I think that having someone who's willing to help you regardless of whether you need it or not is

Blue paused, trying to find the right word.

Nice.

A tiny worm of guilt started wiggling somewhere deep within Toph's core. With the benefit of hindsight, she could see that Katara's overbearing attitude hadn't come from a desire to make Toph feel selfish. She'd just wanted everyone in Aang's party to work a part of a team, and while she'd been wrong to demand that Toph immediately just slot into their existing group dynamics without issue, Toph could see that she could have made more of an effort to be helpful to everyone else. It wouldn't have taken her that much more time to make rock-tents for everyone to sleep under.

"What happened to your friend?" She finally asked, already half suspecting what the answer would be.

Blue answered.

He held off the Fire Nation so that I could escape.

Toph grimaced. She hadn't been as involved in the war as a bender of her skill perhaps should have been, but she could put together implications. The Fire Nation had a lot to answer for. "I'm sorry. He sounds like he was a good man."

Blue nodded his head. What he meant to say wasn't so obvious, but Toph thought that she understood the gist of it.

With one last heavy gulp she downed her tea, then jumped to her feet. "Okay, okay, you win. Point taken. I'll make an effort to be a bit more helpful around the camp. If sugar queen promises not to get on my case so much."

Blue inclined his head towards her, as if to say that's all I ask.'

Toph grinned, then looked away a little bashfully. "And hey, about what you said before… about him being your only friend."

Blue tilted his head to the side curiously.

"Well, you know, we're both fairly new to Aang's team, and I feel like we've both come from a similar place. So maybe we could be-… you know-…" Toph stomped her foot. "Ah, don't make me say it! You know what I mean!"

Blue, as usual, said nothing. He was still for a moment, then got to his feet and hesitantly held out a hand towards her.

Toph grinned at him, then grabbed his hand enthusiastically and gave it a firm shake. "Hah! Alright! Friends!" A strange little giddy feeling welled up inside her, which she quickly squashed down and pretended had never existed. "Now how about we head back? The others are probably lost without us."

...

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