CHAPTER ONE

IFECHUKWU

The worst has happened.

A text appeared in the group chat. So many thoughts went through Ifechukwu's mind when she saw the notification pop up. She couldn't wrap her head around what could have made Tobe, her younger brother write that or maybe she had an idea but she didn't want to think it was what she had in mind. After she had relaxed, she mustered the courage to open the message.

Ifechukwu: Tobe, what happened?

Tobe typing…

What has happened?

Ifechukwu's immediate younger sister, Ifesinachi, asked him too.

Tobe: Aunty Monica is dead.

Bro Tobe, if that is a joke,

please stop it.

Tochi, who is younger than Tobe queried.

Tobe: It's not. Mum and Dad just

got the news now.

The group chat suddenly went cold. Ifechukwu could sense that just like her, everyone must have had emotions flying in and out of their minds. Ifechukwu's world seemed to be spinning. She couldn't breathe as her blood pressure rose. Her tears choked her, and her hands trembled but she still tried to hold her chest.

A voice note dropped and she made an effort to open it.

"This is not possible. I can't believe what you are saying. Mum, if you are here, say something, please," Ifesinachi said.

"You think I would joke with something like that?" Tobe replied to her with a voice note.

Ifechukwu: This is not happening.

"Jesus, Jesus. This can not be true. My aunt is not dead. Jesus. No… no… it's not possible. My aunt is not dead. Aunty Monica. This is not true," Ifesinachi dropped another voice note in tears.

A voice chat entered and Ifesinachi clicked on it, "What am I hearing? Tobe, are you saying that my own aunt is dead? Like my own Aunty Monica is dead? How? When? How?" Tochi's crying voice said in it.

Immediately, Ifechukwu's phone rang and without hesitating, she picked up the call.

"Ifechukwu," the voice of her elder sister, Ifeyinwa, came from the speaker. Ifechukwu didn't reply. Ifeyinwa could only hear the rapid and trembling breathing of her younger sister.

"Ifechukwu, please talk to me," Ifeyinwa called on her.

Suddenly, Ifechukwu's voice grew and she burst into tears.

"Please, pull yourself together. If we do this, who's going to calm our younger ones and mum?" Ifeyinwa asked her.

Ifechukwu didn't listen to her. She cried her eyes out, grabbing and squeezing everything around her to help soothe her pain.

"This is why I am calling you first. Listen to me, I know she means so much to you but I can't sit back and let you break down. We know your health issue and imagine what will happen if I leave you to be by yourself especially when there is no one there with you. Please, baby, stop. I beg you," Ifeyinwa explained to her trying to suppress her own tears.

"She was okay… she … she… was fine yesterday. We spoke yesterday. She told me that she was ready to go home. We spoke and she said everything was fine. Why? Why? Why would she leave us, Ifeyinwa? Why would Aunty Monica leave us? We shouldn't have let her. We shouldn't have let her," Ifechukwu screamed in pain fused with anger.

"We are not God. We didn't know. We only supported her because it was what she had wanted for a long time. She just made up her mind to do it and we supported her as her family. Please," Ifeyinwa tried to pacify her.

"I am one of the reasons she pushed through with it. I gave her my full support because I was one of the first people she informed. I mean why wouldn't I give my best friend my full support? But see where it got me. I should have said no when she told me but I gave her my consent," Ifechukwu lamented, choking on her tears.

"Don't do that, Ife. Don't do that. It is not your fault. You said yourself that everything went well," Ifeyinwa said.

"Then why is she dead? Why is Tobe saying that she is dead?" Ifechukwu's breathing grew worse.

"Ifechukwu, stop that,'' Ifeyinwa yelled.

Ifechukwu calmed down a bit.

"Please, my love, I do not want you to hurt yourself, please, for Mum's sake. Please," Ifeyinwa begged her softly.

Ifechukwu snorted, "okay…okay," with a shaky voice.

Ifechukwu jerked up from her sleep and the first thing she did was reach for her phone but it dawned on her that last night was not a dream she had woken up from but a painful reality that was still lingering. She curled herself in bed all through the morning soaking herself in tears and reminiscing on all the good times she had with her aunt.

"Big mum, this was not the plan. This was not the plan o. Who will remind me to always drink water? Who will cook for me on my wedding day? I can't lose one of the people who makes my life easier and pushes me to follow my dreams. You said we would spend so much time in your new home and your favourite part of the house… your kitchen. Who will make your sweet fried rice for your nieces and nephews? Why, why?"

She picked up her phone again, opened the WhatsApp chat with her aunt, and she scrolled through the chats they had even to the last ones. Tears flowed freely as she read them.

[22/03/2022, 06:29:06] Big Mum Moni:

Yes I know that every one of you

is going there with me in spirit.

That's the bond and the love. I

love all of you till eternity.

[22/03/2022, 06:33:08] Big Mum Moni:

Thank you for having me in mind

and dreaming about me. All the

confirmation is all I need from

Jesus. God never lies. His yes is

yes. He will take all the glory.

[22/03/2022, 09:56:24] I love you too.

[22/03/2022, 09:56:39] We will

always be.

[22/03/2022, 09:55:54] Forever.

His time is perfect.

[22/03/2022, 09:57:01] Have a good

morning, mummy.

[22/03/2022, 12:24:26] Have a nice

day.

She brought the phone to her chest and whispered in pain, "so they are telling me that I won't wake up every day to your calls or missed calls anymore. Aunty Moni. Big mum. Is this how cruel this life can be? But Lord, why? You showed your servants that she could go. Heck, you even showed me. Why?" she asked hoping to somehow get an answer.

After over four hours of crying her heart and eyes out which had caused her swollen eyes and a red face, she stood up and found her way to the bathroom but she couldn't do anything when she got in. She turned on the shower and sat on the floor as the water dripped on her naked body, trickling down to the bathroom floor. Ifechukwu wept.

IFESINACHI

Ifesinachi froze. She stared at her phone for some time, confounded and thinking maybe she had seen it wrongly.

"What did I just see?" she asked herself.

She clicked on the voice record icon and started speaking afterwards, "This is not possible. I can't believe what you are saying. Mum, if you are here, say something, please," Ifesinachi voiced.

"You think I would joke with something like that?" Tobi's voice chat reply to her voice chat dropped.

"This is not happening." Ifechukwu typed.

"Jesus, Jesus. This can not be true. My aunty is not dead. Jesus. No… no… it's not possible. My aunt is not dead. Aunt Monica. This is not true," Ifesinachi cried.

Another voice chat entered and Ifesinachi clicked on it, "What am I hearing? Tobe, are you saying that my own aunt is dead? Like my own Aunt Monica is dead? How? When? How?" Tochi said in it.

Ifesinachi stood up, dropped her phone on the bed and ran out of the room like a mad person. She had never been that confused in her life. She didn't know what to think or what to do.

Is that how quickly one's life changes? She thought to herself.

She let out a nervous laugh, she stopped, and she laughed again. Then, she folded her arms around her chest as if she had the power to block the pain from piercing through and into her heart. She realized it wouldn't work so she rushed back into her room. She picked up her phone from where she had dropped it. She stared at the screen for some seconds, wishing and hoping that when she turned it on, it would have all disappeared. She turned it on, clicked on the WhatsApp group and her breath increased rapidly as she fell to the floor almost lifeless. Ifesinachi started crying. After crying for a while on the floor, she got up and rested her back by the side of the bed. She clicked on the voice record button and began to record.

"What have I done? What have I done? I have been planning to make food and take it to her in that hospital since I'm the closest to her location but I kept postponing it. Now, see. Why didn't I go? Someone who has been there for us and I couldn't be there even once. Oh God, what have I done?" she cried into the phone.

Then, she sent it.

Ifeyinwa's voice note came in and she sluggishly played it.

"Ifesinachi, do not do that. Are you listening to me? Don't do that. How were you supposed to know that this would happen? Did anyone pray for this to happen? Please, baby, do not do that. Trust me, you didn't do anything wrong. At least you had it in mind to visit her," she paused to sniff back her tears. "God sees your heart. Guys, let's put ourselves together. If we are all like this, how do you think Mum would be feeling? We have to be strong for her. She just lost another sister. Let's… let's take it easy. Okay? Let's be…," the voice note stopped.

Ifesinachi's cries increased as she laid her head back on the bed.

IFECHUKWU

Four days later, Ifechukwu decided to put a call through to her parents. She hadn't called them all these while because she knew that they would be in pain and she was so sure her mother would still be devastated. She dialled her father's number. He picked up.

"Good evening, Dad," she greeted.

"Nne, good evening. How are you?"

She forced a chuckle, "Can anyone truly answer that at this time?" she asked him.

He exhaled deeply, "Who told you?"

Trying to cover up for Tobe, she said, "It was Aunty Onyeka. She called me to tell me and I told the rest. Dad, I'm broken," she told him.

"Everyone is. Nobody expected this. We hoped and prayed for a better outcome but this came and shook everyone. Death just did its worse once again. It sneaked in and took our fighter and defender away from us. I have been asking God why and I am tired of asking. My faith is shaken."

Ifechukwu listened to him pour out his heart.

"He told me that she would come out of it successfully but instead, this happened. I'm so confused. As if being sad and confused isn't enough, I'm so angry," he stated.

"At God?" she inquired.

"I don't know. I don't know. This one hit me badly. It beat us so good," he uttered.

"Yes, it did. It did and it shattered me," she snorted.

"Have you spoken to her husband?" she asked him.

"Yes. I called him yesterday. He was crying like a child."

"Of course," Ifechukwu wiped the tears that fell down her cheek.

"I'm guessing mum must be so devastated and more broken than I am?" she asked her father.

"She won't eat or talk to anyone. She has just been lying down and crying," he divulged.

Ifechukwu sniffed, "I wasn't expecting less. Her sister just left her. Her secret cupboard has been shattered. Don't expect less," she said with hurt coating every bit of her voice.

"All I can say is that we will be fine but for now, let us mourn our loss and hope we regain our faith again," her father expressed.

"I hope so too," Ifechukwu commented.

There was a little silence for a while.

"Take care of yourself and reach out to your siblings always. It is well," he told her.

"I will try. Take care of Mum. Bye."

The next day, Ifechukwu couldn't wait to talk to her mother so she put a call through to Tobe.

"Hi," she said into the receiver as soon as Tobe picked up.

"Good afternoon, sis," Tobe greeted.

"Good afternoon, baby. Please, how is mum?" she inquired.

"She's better today. Some visitors that came to sympathize with her just left," Tobe told her.

"Okay. That means she can talk. Give the phone to her, please," Ifechukwu told him.