Ch. 4 closed caskets

In an open ground, we looked at the closed casket of the scout regiment that had been killed in action. The reason for the closed caskets was that they couldn't retrieve their bodies.

Sister ran away with tears in her eyes, and I remember it vividly that I kept staring at the room of my parents and the letter from my sister.

She went ahead and joined the military and left me here alone in the house while I tried to come to terms with the fact that the two people I've grown closed have died.

Death wasn't a huge deal to me, but it's been 7 years since I've experienced death. I almost forgot about it. I old myself I wouldn't get close but I failed.

I wanted to forget that I wished my memories were wiped from me before being reincarnated. I regret I didn't try to convince them to stop.

" If only I knew... if only..." I muttered to myself in the empty kitchen where I would bicker with my mother and hear the joys of laughter from my dad and sister.

The smell dinner being placed on the table, my favorite food I've grown to like instead of those dull MRE's from my past life.

I'm lost again. Alone and uncompleted.

I didn't realize it, but my tears dropped onto the letter Hange left for me. I silently cried myself to sleep, wishing to feel the warm kiss on my cheek. My mother would always give me.

But I realized something now. I wasn't the same old heartless soldier anymore, I'm not killing a machine but a human child that is going through their emotions that they have been told to ignore and throw away.

But this time. I didn't want to throw it away but to keep it as it reminded me of the feeling of myloved one's gave me. The life they gave me.

I failed to realize that until now. My only through process was only how to use them, but I should've loved them instead.

For next week, I didn't bother to go outside nor buy food and remained in the house as I stared out the window.

Knock knock.

I heard a knock on the door but decided to ignore it for a few minutes until it opened. I glanced at the intruder to see Grisha. He took off his hat once he saw me.

" Cain... I'm sorry for your loss." He said as he took stepped inside.

" I came here to help you. Your neighbors said that you haven't left the house for a week and you haven't shown up to your lessons."

" I'm grieving... leave me alone." I muttered.

" Cain, it's not healthy to grieve alone. Let me help." He replied.

" I can handle it." I remained calm and kept my anger in check.

" Sigh, well. I won't push any further, but if you change your mind, I've already talked to Carla, and she wouldn't mind letting you stay with us." After he said that, he left as I watched him walk away through the window.

If I were myself before this, I would've taken that chance to become closer, but now. I feel it's just useless to get excited.

" I can't stay like this, Can I? I'll have to face reality. Might as well do it now." I muttered to myself as I closed my eyes. Flashes of memories of my parents flashed as I got up from the chair and looked at the house.

It was a mess as I decided to clean it, but I left my parents' room as is as I stared at my mother's book and father's wood carvings.

I sat on their bed for a few mintues before going to my room and liked at the two shelves of books.

Mixed with these books were journals of what I remember from the manga before I could forget them since it's been years I have been here and they are written in five languages and mixed with regular books.

***

" So have you decided you stay with us?" Carla smiled as he opened the door.

"No. But I'm still willing to learn from Dr. Yeager. " I replied, causing Carla to be disappointed, but she nodded as she let me inside.

" Where is he?" I asked, looking around the house before being seated on the table.

" How's your sister?"

" She joined the military training. " I answered as I watched Carla cook.

" Oh..."

" She's probably going to join the scouts."

" The scouts!?" She exclaimed, looking at me in shock.

" Yes." Inreplied, causing her to sigh as she went back to cooking before looking around the cabinets.

" Huh... Cain? Can you run to the market and get me a few potatoes and a loaf of bread as well." She asked as she placed a few coins on my hand.

" Sure." I accepted as I exited the house and walked towards the market. Along the way, I found a few coins on the ground.

" Hello. Can I get a bag of potatoes and a loaf of bread." I brought up a smile as I used my charn to get a better deal.

" Of course!" The vendor smiled as she gave me what I asked for.

" That'll be 8 dews." She said as I paid herwhich left me more money than I should have.

" Thank you. " I smiled and left the market, and when I left, I stopped putting on the smile and went back to the Yeager household.

" Thank you, Cain. Oh? Do you still have a few coins left? Did you steal the bread?" She looked at me with a stern face.

" No, I used my tongue to hackle with the lady. She's easily lost to my charm." I replied as I laid my head on the table.

Carla gave me a weird look before grabbing a few potatoes from the bag and washed them before peeling them and cutting them.

" So you know how to barter? I didn't expect a child like you could use their baby face to their advantage." She said.

" Pretty much, every lady I encountered always pinch my cheeks." I replied as I brought up my book and looked at my status.

< Skill Slot 12 >

[ Barter ](C)

[ Requirement: +8Charisma ]

[ Level 18 ]

( Able to barter with a vendor and receive a 90% better deal when selling or buying.)

It was one of the many skills I picked up when I went with my mother to the market.

< Status >

[ Cain ]

[ Strength:3 -> 8]

[ Endurance:2 -> 7]

[ Agility: 3 -> 9]

[ Charisma:16 -> 17 ]

[ Intelligence: 8 -> 15 ]

[ Luck:10]

I think I could've gotten a better status if I dopey focused on leveling up my stats. But it seemed I gotten used to living comfortably that I mostly forget to improve.

' I got lazy.' I told myself as I set the book down.